Getting Close

Aidan Wharton
  • 5.0 (68)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community. gettingclosepod.substack.com

  1. My Husband & Broadway Star: How to Break the Patterns Holding You Back

    13H AGO

    My Husband & Broadway Star: How to Break the Patterns Holding You Back

    If you have a little voice in the back of your mind saying, you should really break that habit, this episode is for you. We all have coping mechanisms that help us get through the day, but when do we know if those coping mechanisms have turned into unhealthy patterns, and if so, how can we break them? In this episode, my husband Casey (and y’all’s most requested return guest) sits back down with me for a deeply intimate and vulnerable conversation about his last year breaking patterns of addiction. We unpack: * How to let go of the patterns that no longer serve you * The differences between habits, coping mechanisms, and unhealthy patterns * Why your journey with substances doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. * How to support a partner who is dismantling their relationship with substances * How to find joy in sobriety through new rituals and experiences. * The most surprising things we’ve both learned as we stopped drinking. Chapters (00:00) Introduction to Connection and Coping Mechanisms (02:54) Celebrating Six Months Alcohol-Free (05:40) Understanding Patterns vs. Habits (10:04) Exploring Early Coping Mechanisms (16:44) The Impact of Substances on Life (21:54) Navigating Social Drinking and Isolation (26:38) Navigating Loneliness and Community Needs (28:05) The Journey to Sobriety: A Personal Reflection (31:51) Breaking Patterns: The Role of Substances in Coping (36:01) Emotional Breakthroughs: The Impact of Isolation (39:46) Supporting Partners Through Change (43:02) Surprising Positives: Finding Joy in Sobriety (45:58) Messages of Hope: Embracing Change and Growth (50:17) Curiosity and Connection: Engaging with Community Follow Along! Follow Casey: https://bit.ly/3NY8jya Follow Aidan: https://bit.ly/4sRSpoX Follow Getting Close: https://bit.ly/4jW9Ro8 Send us a comment or question at: hellogettingclose@gmail.com! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    53 min
  2. Gay Ass Podcast Host: The Gay Ass Art of A Good Question

    MAR 24

    Gay Ass Podcast Host: The Gay Ass Art of A Good Question

    If you’ve ever sat in an awkward silence, wondering what to ask next, or left a conversation wishing you’d known how to go deeper, this episode will change how you talk to people. In this episode, Eric Williams joins us to explore what separates a good question from a bad one, why our digital world is making us worse at curiosity, and how the way you ask questions shapes everything from your first date to your longest relationship. Eric Williams is the host of That’s A Gay Ass Podcast and has interviewed icons like Dan Savage, Lisa Rinna, and Kathy Griffin. He’s also a solo performer in the middle of touring his solo show, Why All The Drama? He also just happens to be one of the most gifted conversationalists I know. We unpack: 🟡 What actually makes a good question and why it matters 🟡 Why you think you’re asking enough questions, but you aren’t. 🟡 The surprising link between asking good questions and being good in bed. 🟡 What questions actually sustain a long term relationship. 🟡 The one question everyone in an open relationship needs to ask. If you’ve ever sat in that awkward silence wondering what to say next, this one’s for you. Follow Along Follow Eric on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericwillz Follow Eric on Substack: Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    56 min
  3. Trans Thought Leader: The Complex Politics of Being a Man

    MAR 17

    Trans Thought Leader: The Complex Politics of Being a Man

    What can gay men learn from trans men? In this episode of Getting Close, I sit down with my friend Sandy for a very vulnerable conversation about how trans men and cis men exist within the gay community. We dive into masculinity, privilege, and what compassionate inclusion can look like in our spaces. Sandy Gooen is a published and produced writer. He’s currently developing a musical called Twink Piece. He also runs TEMPO (@theetempo), which is an organization for Trans music professionals. His professional and academic background is mostly music and theater, but in his free time, he focuses a lot on gender and LGBT topics. At the root of Sandy’s work is the desire to cultivate belonging and understanding! We get into * Which conversations about transness are oversaturated * Which conversations about transness still need to happen * What gay men don’t know about the trans experience * The different ways that masculinity affects us all * And why gay men only talk to people they’re attracted to, and how to start to change that. Follow Along! Follow Sandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/silentwhat Follow Sandy on Substack: Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod Chapters (00:00) Introduction (05:20) Growing Up Masculine (10:40) The Early Signs of Difference (16:00) Exploring Gender (21:50) The Carving Out A Space in NYC (27:10) Navigating Gay Spaces as a Trans Man (32:40) The Unspoken Social Rules Inside Queer Spaces (38:00) Why We’re Afraid to Talk About Trans Experiences (43:30) Who Gets to Define Masculinity (49:30) What Connection Between Men Can Look Like This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    54 min
  4. Gay Intimacy Researcher: The Hidden Rules of Hookup Culture

    MAR 10

    Gay Intimacy Researcher: The Hidden Rules of Hookup Culture

    How has the internet changed gay s*x, consent, and intimacy? In this episode, Andrew Restieri joins me to discuss the complexities of digital intimacy within gay culture. We discuss how everyone has differing rules about consent, the economy of nude photos, who owns a nude once it’s sent, the rise of hookup apps, and how they affect our in-person experiences. Andrew Restieri is a PhD candidate at Cornell whose research broadly centers on the use of digital technology to facilitate online communities, especially for queer people. His dissertation examines the online sexual practices of gay men and how those practices challenge conventional understandings of intimacy and consent. He also holds a master’s from Johns Hopkins University and a BA from Northwestern. We unpack: 🟡 The “economy of nudes” that exists in gay culture. 🟡 Why consent online is almost impossible to define. 🟡 The uncomfortable question: who owns a nude once it’s sent? 🟡 Why digital intimacy and real-life intimacy may now be the same thing. 🟡 The surprising reason some men send unsolicited nudes. 🟡 The real question behind every app interaction: what do we owe each other? If you’ve ever taken a nude, this episode’s for you. Chapters (00:00) Introduction (02:40) Connection Questions and Personal Insights (04:40) Research Focus: Gay Men’s Digital Practices (07:52) Understanding Consent and Privacy in Digital Spaces (10:08) The Economy of Nudes: Value and Exchange (12:56) Digital vs. In-Person Intimacy: A Blurred Line (15:45) Impact of Hookup Apps on Gay Male Intimacy (18:36) Consent and Boundaries in Digital Interactions (21:12) The Politics of Ownership and Consent (24:32) Navigating Consent in a Diverse Landscape (26:57) Class Politics and Digital Intimacy (33:15) Navigating Boundaries in Gay Digital Spaces (39:24) The Role of Digital Tools in Gay Connections (44:40) Flirting and Intimacy in the Modern Age (47:10) Curiosities and Community Connections Follow Along! Follow Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrewrestieri Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    53 min
  5. Poly-Queer Therapist: How Your Discomfort is Key to Happier Relationships

    MAR 3

    Poly-Queer Therapist: How Your Discomfort is Key to Happier Relationships

    What if I told you discomfort was the secret to better relationships? In this episode, Rachel Wright joins me to talk about the fascinating way that discomfort can help you have better relationships of any structure. We explore the nuances of modern friendship, letting people down, secret patterns running our relationships, monogamy unlearnings, and the unique way gay couples are more likely to be open vs. poly. Rachel Wright is a distinguished psychotherapist and renowned speaker with expertise in modern relationships, mental health, and sex. With a Master’s Degree in clinical psychology, Rachel has worked with thousands of clients worldwide and has been featured in The New York Times, Women’s Health, Cosmo and more. Rachel currently lives in New York City with her wife and two kids. We unpack: * How to let people down healthily * What gay couples need to do to practice openness better * How ingrained patterns shape shapes the way we love * How non-monogamy can show up in our youth before we have language for it * Whether or not nonmonogamy is a orientation or a preference * And how expanding our distress tolerance can change the way we approach openness Chapters (00:00) Introduction (02:28) Exploring Healthy Communication in Relationships (14:37) The Journey to Becoming a Therapist (17:53) Reflections on Non-Monogamy and Youth Experiences (22:42) Core Beliefs About Relationships and Non-Monogamy (25:00) Unlearning Monogamy and Embracing Discomfort (27:19) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships (29:42) Understanding Non-Monogamy as an Orientation (32:27) Timing and Trust in Non-Monogamous Conversations (34:22) Unpacking Emotional Scripts in Non-Monogamy (37:45) Language and Representation in Non-Monogamous Relationships (42:45) Emotional Depth in Gay Relationships (45:11) Building Distress Tolerance in Non-Monogamy (48:52) Exploring Non-Monogamous Literature (51:39) Celebrating Diverse Relationships and Community Follow Along! Follow Rachel: https://www.instagram.com/thewright_rachel Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    55 min
  6. Queer Broadway Author: How Queer Storytelling Can Change You

    FEB 24

    Queer Broadway Author: How Queer Storytelling Can Change You

    If you could go back in time to Queer, 1996, New York, would you? In this episode, Andrew Keenan-Bolger joins me to do just that through his debut novel Limelight. We unpack why telling queer stories is urgent in this political climate, the importance of chosen family, banned books, magical realism, and what we owe our Queer ancestors. Andrew Keenan-Bolger is an actor, director, author, and filmmaker who starred as Jesse Tuck in Tuck Everlasting and Crutchie in the Newsies on Broadway, among many others. Along with his collaborator, Kate Weatherhead, though, he is the co-creator of the critically acclaimed web series Submissions Only and co-author of the children’s series Jack and Louisa. He is also the author of the upcoming novel, Limelight. We explore: 🟡 What it was like coming of age in post-AIDS New York. 🟡 The difference between discomfort and being unsafe. 🟡 Why writing flawed queer characters is essential. 🟡 What book bans actually cost young people these days. 🟡 And how to find and build chosen family later in life. Chapters (00:00 Introduction to Connection and Literature (02:21) Andrew’s Journey and Background (07:04) The Inspiration Behind Limelight (11:21) Exploring Queer History and Identity (18:34) The Role of Magical Realism in Storytelling (23:20) The Importance of Community and Connection (28:06) Navigating Challenges in Queer Literature (32:12) Writing Flawed Characters and Growth (37:14) Surprises in the Writing Process (42:08) Fun and Personal Insights (45:21) Final Thoughts and Community Engagement Follow Along! Follow Andrew: https://instagram.com/keenanblogger Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    52 min
  7. Gay Relationship Coach: If You're Feeling Stuck with Dating, Listen to This!

    FEB 17

    Gay Relationship Coach: If You're Feeling Stuck with Dating, Listen to This!

    Are you fed up with modern dating? In this episode, that’s not just for singles, Trevor Kuhn discusses the challenges of modern courtship, why conflict is essential for relationships, the pitfalls of AI in dating, and why expectations are keeping you single. Trevor Kuhn is a love and relationship coach and matchmaker for gay and queer men. He helps them shift old patterns and build deeper, more intentional connections through 1-on-1 coaching, group workshops, engaging social content, and live events. He explains: 🟡 Simple steps to talk to people in person again. 🟡 Why conflict is essential in any relationship. 🟡 How expectations are the #1 thing keeping folks single. 🟡 Why you should delete Grindr. 🟡 The essential work you must do before and during a relationship. P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Chapters (00:00) Introduction (04:25) How Trev Became A Relationship Coach (10:05) First Date Tips (11:46) Unique Challenges of Modern Gay Dating (14:38) Why Vulnerability is Essential in Dating (16:52) Practical Pick-Up Tips (21:34) How Trev Found Love Through Instagram (25:03) Why You Should Delete Grindr (28:16) AI in Dating Apps (32:07) Our Speed Dating Experience (37:29) How To Prepare for Relationships (38:27) Why You Should Ask Your Friends About Relationships (39:01) Cultivating Belonging and Personal Growth (40:49) Values and Communication in Relationships (43:11) Navigating Conflict and Communication Styles (44:28) Curiosity and Connection in Loneliness (47:10) Community and Collective Action Follow Along! Follow Trevor: https://instagram.com/lovedaddytrev Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    50 min
  8. My Husband: How to Build an Open Relationship That Works

    FEB 10

    My Husband: How to Build an Open Relationship That Works

    My husband CASEY GARVIN and I dive deep into our own relationship, answering questions from listeners about our journey, our love, and our openness over the past eight years. On this episode, we get deep about: * The unique ways that we navigate and heal from conflict. * Who proposed to whom. * How we planned our atypical wedding. * How we learned to embrace jealousy in our open relationship. * What our personal rules around openness are. * How we navigate sexual health. * And some fun things, like our favorite things about each other. P.S. The easiest way for you to get involved: If you haven’t already, please take 20 seconds to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and/or YouTube! It really is the most helpful thing you can do besides listening and telling your friends! Chapters (00:00) Intro (01:37) Our Six Questions to Fall In Love (08:31) How We Met & Our First Date (13:23) Why We Broke Up (18:09) Why We Broke Up (19:05) Our Proposal Story (21:42) How We Planned Our Atypical Wedding (29:39) How We Navigate Conflict (32:37) How Our Relationship Exists Online (37:17) How We Practice Openness (39:28) Navigating Sexual Health and STIs (41:54) How We Deal With Jealousy (48:05) Flirting With Other People (52:53) Casey’s Question Bonanza! Follow Along! Follow Casey: https://bit.ly/3NY8jya Follow Aidan: https://bit.ly/4sRSpoX Follow Getting Close: https://bit.ly/4jW9Ro8 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

    1 hr
See All (13)

5
out of 5
68 Ratings

About

Getting Close is an intimate exploration of how we connect, love, and build relationships in the modern world. Each week, host Aidan Wharton sits down with culture-shaping voices to give you practical insights from honest conversations about relationships, Queerness, sex, connection, and community. gettingclosepod.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Aidan Wharton
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Aidan Wharton
  • Show Website
    Getting Close

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