Untidy Faith

Kate Boyd
  • 5.0 (28)
  • SPIRITUALITY
  • UPDATED SEMIMONTHLY

Transforming faith after fracture The Untidy Faith podcast is where we have honest conversations and gentle encouragement for when following Jesus gets messy. Join your host, Kate Boyd - author, speaker, and gentle guide for Christians who are disentangling their faith from culture, rebuilding their relationship with Scripture, and desiring to find joy in following Jesus again - each week to find your life and faith after deconstruction. kateboyd.substack.com

  1. 11/18/2025

    Jared Stacy | Conspiracy Thinking in American Evangelicalism

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd sits down with Jared Stacy, author of the forthcoming book Reality in Ruins, for a nuanced conversation about why conspiracy theories have become so pervasive in evangelical Christianity and what the church can do about it. This isn’t just about QAnon or stolen elections—it’s about understanding how evangelicalism’s theology of persecution, end-times anxiety, and individualism creates fertile ground for conspiracism, and how reclaiming the whole story of Jesus offers a way forward that doesn’t require us to become fact-checkers but truth-tellers in our own key. Topics Covered * Understanding conspiracy theory as “functional reality” that provides people not just a lens for interpreting the world but prescribes specific actions—like how belief in a stolen election motivated the January 6th Capitol attack * Why evangelicals are particularly susceptible to conspiracy thinking: the combination of persecution complex, end-times theology giving conspiracies a “theological charge,” and modern individualism that seeks control through claiming secret knowledge * How evangelicalism’s witness to the gospel grants conspiracy theories plausibility by packaging spurious claims as “what good faithful Christians believe,” making it feel like apostasy to question them rather than just correcting misinformation * The historical pattern of conspiracy theories serving evangelical responses to cultural anxieties—from George Whitfield using gospel preaching to prevent slave revolts, to Cold War anti-communism, to contemporary fears about losing white Christian America * Why confronting conspiracy theories head-on with facts or mockery only leads to deeper entrenchment, and what questions like “why do you need this to be true?” or “why is that good news to you?” can open up instead * How the church can resist conspiracism not by becoming fact-checkers but by being constituted as Jesus’s body—a “place of reversal” where we discover we were wrong, rehearse the whole story of Jesus, and refuse to settle for anything less than recognizing full humanity in everyone Timestamps: 01:00 Conspiracy Theory as Functional Reality 06:00 Why Evangelicals Are Susceptible to Conspiracy Thinking 12:00 The Theological Charge That Makes Conspiracies Plausible 18:00 Alternative Knowledge vs. Embodied Truth 24:00 Historical Anxieties Driving Conspiracy Theories 35:00 When Facts and Mockery Don’t Work 45:00 The Freedom to Be Wrong in Christian Community 54:00 Healthy Skepticism Without Conspiracy Thinking 1:03:00 The Church as Place of Transformation and Discovery 1:06:00 Finding Jared’s Work and Forthcoming Book This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 7m

  2. 11/04/2025

    2 Samuel 23 & 24 | Are we great yet?

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd wraps up the year-and-a-half journey through 2 Samuel with returning guests Jenai Auman and Liz Daye, examining chapters 23-24—David’s self-congratulatory final words followed by a devastating census that reveals how little he’s actually learned. This isn’t a triumphant ending to a great king’s reign—it’s a sobering reminder that David’s version of greatness cost 70,000 lives, and his idea of repentance always came after profound devastation that somehow never seemed to affect him personally. The contrast between how David sees himself and what the text actually shows us is the perfect capstone to understanding power’s corruption. And a shoutout to Jon Pyle, Robert Callahan, and Amanda Waldron for being a part of the journey through books of Samuel! Topics Covered * How David’s “last words” in chapter 23 present his self-image as a just ruler bringing cloudless morning prosperity, immediately contrasted by the compilers listing “Uriah the Hittite” among his mighty men—a literary shade that reminds readers of David’s profound injustice * Understanding why David’s census in chapter 24 was such a violation: it risked ritual impurity for the entire nation, mimicked divine power (only gods counted in ancient cultures), and served as the first step toward military conscription, slavery, and exploitation * Why David’s choice of punishment—three days of plague affecting 70,000 people—reveals his continued pattern of self-protection, when he could have chosen three months of fleeing enemies with his “mighty men” that would’ve primarily affected him * The devastating reality that David “makes things right with God” through sacrifice but never repairs things with the people harmed by his choices, mirroring modern patterns where abusive leaders go on apology tours without addressing the actual devastation they caused * How the story ends not with David as hero but with God’s compassion for the land, contrasting David’s transactional understanding of hesed (loyalty) with God’s hesed (compassion)—showing what God actually values versus what David claimed to embody * Why paying attention to prophets and moving toward justice and shalom matters more than celebrating leaders who buy their own hype, and how David delivering Israel into bondage (the census taking nine months—a gestation period) inverts God’s role as deliverer from oppression Timestamps: 01:00 David’s Self-Hype Poem vs. “Uriah the Hittite” 07:00 The Mighty Men List as Twilight End Credits 14:00 Why the Census Was Such a Big Deal 21:00 David’s Cowardly Choice: 70,000 Deaths 30:00 Repentance Without Repair to the Harmed 38:00 Spiritual Bypassing and Weaponized Forgiveness 47:00 The Angel Who Wouldn’t Stop Judging 55:00 Measuring Success by Empire vs. Jesus 1:04:00 Final Takeaways from the David Journey 1:06:00 Finding the Hosts and What’s Next This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 7m

  3. 10/21/2025

    Beth Allison Barr | Becoming the Pastor's Wife

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd sits down with Dr. Beth Allison Barr, historian and author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood and Becoming the Pastor’s Wife, for a fascinating conversation about how the role of pastor’s wife has functioned to limit women’s leadership in the church. This isn’t just about theological debates—it’s about recognizing how economic anxieties, racial prejudice, and fear of losing privilege have repeatedly driven backlash against women’s independence throughout history, and how biblical language gets weaponized to justify keeping women in subordinate, unpaid positions. Topics Covered * How 2025 marks the 25th anniversary of the 2000 Baptist Faith and Message that encoded complementarian theology into Southern Baptist doctrine, and recognizing this as part of a historical pattern where women’s subordination rises during periods when women gain legal and economic independence * Understanding backlash against women’s ordination as rooted in cultural anxieties—particularly white anxiety about demographic changes and fears about losing economic privilege—rather than purely theological concerns about biblical interpretation * Why the pastor’s wife role has become “the primary ministry role model for women” in conservative churches, creating a safe space for women’s gifts while simultaneously keeping them under male authority and conditioning congregations to reject independent female leadership * The economic reality that women’s ministry is almost always expected to be unpaid volunteer work while men’s ministry comes with salaries and benefits, revealing how “noble calling” language masks structural inequality and devalues women’s contributions * How closely associating female leadership with marriage trains churches and broader culture to only accept women’s authority when it’s subordinate to men, contributing to resistance against women in business, politics, and other spheres beyond the church * What the church has lost by silencing women’s theological voices, contrasting with historical examples like Catherine of Siena convincing the Pope to return to Rome because medieval Christianity respected that “God spoke through women to men” Timestamps: 01:00 25 Years of Complementarian Theology’s Damage 05:00 Cultural Anxieties Driving the Backlash Against Women 10:00 How Economic Fears Shape Attitudes Toward Women’s Equality 14:00 The Pastor’s Wife Role as Gatekeeper to Female Leadership 19:00 Unspoken Expectations and Their Cost to Women 23:00 What the Church Loses Without Women’s Voices 28:00 Historical Hope: Women Who Never Stopped Speaking 32:00 Finding Beth’s Work and Resources This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    34 min

  4. 10/07/2025

    2 Samuel 21 & 22 | When Victors Write the History

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd, Jenai Auman, and Liz Daye continue their exploration of 2 Samuel, examining chapters 21-22—a jarring collection of appendices that reveal David’s legacy through violence, political maneuvering, and self-congratulatory poetry. This isn’t a triumphant conclusion to David’s reign—it’s a sobering look at how powerful people rewrite history to justify harm, and how the quiet faithfulness of marginalized women like Rizpah often goes unnoticed while loud, self-serving declarations get preserved as “worship.” Topics Covered * Understanding the structural shift in 2 Samuel 21-24 from linear narrative to a collection of “appendices” that are deliberately out of chronological order, giving different perspectives and even contradicting earlier accounts like the story of who actually killed Goliath * How David responds to a three-year famine by asking the Gibeonites (not God) how to fix it, resulting in the execution of seven of Saul’s descendants—a solution that violates Torah patterns of repentance while serving David’s political interests by eliminating threats to his throne * The prophetic witness of Rizpah, a concubine who holds vigil over her sons’ desecrated bodies for six months, whose quiet faithfulness actually lifts the famine when David finally gives the bodies proper burial—yet most major commentaries ignore her story entirely * Why the famous contradiction about Goliath’s death (attributed to Elhanan here rather than David) reveals how stories were shaped to serve David’s propaganda, showing us that “history favors the victor” and inviting us to read with suspicion * Examining David’s Psalm in chapter 22 as an unreliable narrator’s self-congratulatory rewriting of history, claiming blamelessness and righteousness while celebrating violence and conquest that directly contradicts Torah values and God’s vision for leadership * How hyper-spiritualizing language gets weaponized to justify harm—from David’s beautiful words masking brutal actions to modern Christian nationalism using similar rhetoric to consolidate power while claiming God’s blessing on violence and oppression Timestamps: 01:00 Chapter 21: Famine, Gibeonites, and Political Pragmatism 06:00 David’s Solution: Execution Instead of Repentance 12:00 Rizpah’s Vigil: Six Months of Prophetic Witness 18:00 Why Most Commentaries Erase Rizpah’s Story 24:00 The Goliath Contradiction and David Propaganda 33:00 Chapter 22: David’s Self-Congratulatory Psalm 42:00 Rewriting History: When Beautiful Words Mask Violence 52:00 Context Matters: Why We Can’t Proof-Text Our Way Through 59:00 Reading with Suspicion and Through the Lens of Torah 1:04:00 Loud Posturing vs. Quiet Faithfulness 1:10:00 Finding the Hosts Online This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 11m

  5. 08/19/2025

    Hidden Grief of Deconstruction | Mandy Capehart

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd sits down with Mandy Capehart, author of Restorative Grief, for an intimate conversation about how faith deconstruction is actually a complex grief process that affects every dimension of our lives. This isn't just about changing your theology—it's about recognizing that when we deconstruct faith, we're grieving the loss of safety, belonging, community, identity, and even our relationship with our own bodies. Mandy offers a compassionate framework for understanding why this process is so difficult and how healing can happen holistically. Mandy Capehart is a grief educator, somatic practitioner, and author of Restorative Grief. She hosts the Restorative Grief podcast and leads the Restorative Grief Project, a supportive online community. Her work focuses on helping people understand grief as a holistic experience that involves heart, mind, body, and spirit. Topics Covered * Understanding faith deconstruction as a layered grief process that involves losing "the systems and structures that have really shaped our sense of safety, belonging, and community," not just changing beliefs about theology or biblical interpretation * How leaving faith communities mirrors other major life transitions like divorce or coming out, particularly when "we have disrupted our foundation" and can no longer rely on our faith as the solid rock during other difficulties * The difference between fitting in and true belonging, and how many people discover they were conditionally accepted in their faith communities only when they could edit themselves to match expectations rather than bring their full selves * Why intellectualizing deconstruction can become a protective strategy that creates "an illusion of control" while avoiding the necessary work of processing how these changes affect us emotionally and somatically in our bodies * How faith communities often suppress connection to our physical selves, leading to embodied symptoms like "tightness in their throat, in their chest" and the inability to speak authentically when our voices have been deemed unsafe or invalid * The transformative power of learning to "take up space" and speak with authenticity, even when it means risking correction or disagreement, and finding safety in being humbled while maintaining belonging Timestamps: 01:00 What Are We Actually Grieving in Faith Deconstruction? 05:00 Beyond Theology: How Environment and Values Shape Us 11:00 Why Faith Deconstruction Looks Like Divorce 18:00 Grieving Community and the Loss of Belonging 23:00 Identity Grief: When Labels and Roles No Longer Fit 29:00 How Grief and Transition Show Up in Our Bodies 36:00 Learning to Take Up Space and Use Our Voices 40:00 Restorative Grief: Finding Safety in the Eye of the Storm 47:00 Finding Mandy's Work and Resources This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    48 min

  6. 08/08/2025

    2 Samuel 20 | The god of Christian nationalism

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, we continue our deep dive into 2 Samuel with Kate Boyd, Jenai Auman, and Liz Daye — examining chapter 20 and its stark contrasts between violence and peacemaking, power and wisdom. This isn't just ancient history—it's a cautionary tale about what happens when leaders prioritize power over God's vision of shalom, and how the pursuit of control creates systems that harm the most vulnerable while claiming to restore order. Topics Covered * How Sheba's rebellion represents a more serious threat to David's kingdom than Absalom's revolt, with "all the men of Israel" deserting David and foreshadowing the eventual split of the kingdom that echoes this same rallying cry * Understanding Joab's brutal murder of Amasa as the physical embodiment of David's strategic manipulation—both men eliminate threats to maintain power, but Joab does openly what David orchestrates from behind the scenes * Examining the treatment of David's ten concubines as property that gets "handled" rather than cared for, showing how David's view of women as disposable objects extends from Michal to these women who are condemned to live "as widows until the day of their death" * The contrast between male violence and female wisdom through the unnamed "wise woman" who speaks in poetry to negotiate peace, representing the biblical pattern of women stepping up to end conflicts when men create chaos through their pursuit of power * How the concept of shalom differs from simple peace or absence of conflict—it represents "the harmony between things and the right relatedness of things," a holistic vision of flourishing that stands in stark opposition to David's hierarchical kingdom * Why the chapter's ending list of David's officials, including someone "over forced labor," reveals a kingdom that has abandoned God's Torah vision and adopted the oppressive practices of surrounding empires, directly contradicting Israel's identity as people freed from slavery Timestamps: 01:00 Sheba's Rebellion: A More Serious Threat Than Absalom 03:00 Joab's Betrayal Kiss: Violence to Maintain Power 06:00 The Concubines: How David "Handles" Women as Property 10:00 The Wise Woman: Poetry, Peace, and Maternal Protection 16:00 Shalom vs. Power: Two Visions of Community 24:00 God's Absence and the Politics of David's Kingdom 28:00 David as the god of Christian Nationalism 33:00 Reading Narrative as Literature: Seeing the Bigger Picture This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    43 min
  7. Embodied Faith Beyond Evangelicalism | Rohadi Nagassar

    08/05/2025

    Embodied Faith Beyond Evangelicalism | Rohadi Nagassar

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd sits down with Rohadi, author of When We Belong, for a provocative conversation about the difference between progressive Christianity and truly decolonized faith. This isn't about finding a more liberal church or updating your theology—it's about fundamentally reimagining what liberative community looks like when we center marginalized voices and embody radical love ethics in our neighborhoods and daily lives. Rohadi is an author, speaker, and community leader who focuses on decolonizing Christianity and embodied spiritual practices. He leads an online faith community called A Beautiful Table and hosts the podcast series "Farewell Evangelicalism." His upcoming book on embodied meditations will be released in 2026. Topics Covered * Why leaving white evangelicalism for progressive or liberal churches often replicates the same harmful patterns, as recent data shows most "liberal" denominations still vote majority Republican and maintain foundational issues with ableism and white supremacy * Understanding how evangelical formation is designed to control bodies, particularly women and children, and why those who don't conform to white male, cisgender, able-bodied norms will "never belong fully" regardless of theological adjustments * The crucial difference between knowledge and embodied wisdom—why reading books about justice isn't the same as participating in liberative community that seeks "right repair unto right relationship" with land, people, and resources * How decolonizing faith requires listening to indigenous voices and resistance movements specific to the land where your feet touch, rather than seeking universal solutions or centering white voices in leadership * Exploring embodied spiritual practices like body scans and breath work that help reclaim the body after evangelical teachings that promote distrust and disconnection from physical experiences and emotions * Why truly liberative communities are found "on the margins"—in recovery churches, queer churches, and racialized communities—and how white people can join existing movements without needing to lead or start their own organizations Timestamps: 01:00 Beyond Evangelicalism: Progressive vs. Decolonized Faith 04:00 How Evangelical Formation Controls Bodies and Margins 09:00 The Lifelong Process of Unlearning White Supremacist Patterns 14:00 Moving Slow: Relationships, Grief, and Embodied Wisdom 21:00 Living in Tension: Safety, Community, and Vulnerability 26:00 Whose Traditions? Questioning Christian Orthodoxy and Authority 33:00 Embodying Radical Love Ethics in Local Context f37:00 Finding Rohadi's Work and Resources This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    39 min

  8. 07/22/2025

    The Desert Fathers and Mother | Lisa Colon Delay

    In this episode of the Untidy Faith Podcast, Kate Boyd sits down with Lisa Colon DeLay, author of The Way of the Desert Elders, for an illuminating conversation about ancient Christian wisdom that speaks directly to modern faith struggles. This isn't just church history—it's a roadmap for Christians navigating the tension between empire and authentic discipleship, offering embodied practices for healing religious trauma and rebuilding faith after deconstruction. Lisa Colon DeLay is a pastor, author, and host of the Spark My Muse podcast. Her work focuses on spiritual formation and connecting modern Christians with ancient wisdom traditions. She's also the author of The Wild Land Within and offers resources for spiritual practices rooted in early Christian traditions. Topics Covered * How the Desert Fathers and Mothers (300-600 AD) responded when Christianity became corrupted by political power and empire, creating communities that prioritized devotion over career advancement and cultural status * Understanding the nine "afflicting thoughts" (later developed into the seven deadly sins) as a holistic framework addressing body, mind, and spirit—not moral failings but predictable challenges that arise when pursuing spiritual growth * Why healing from religious trauma requires embodied practices, not just cognitive processing, and how ancient spiritual disciplines can help integrate the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of faith * The essential role of spiritual mentorship in faith reconstruction, contrasting the Desert tradition of pairing every seeker with a spiritual mother or father against modern evangelicalism's individualistic approach to spiritual growth * Exploring the practice of "vigil"—waiting expectantly on God as an active spiritual discipline that reorients us from productivity-based faith to relationship-based presence with the divine * How ancient wisdom addresses modern challenges like spiritual overwhelm, digital distraction, and the temptation of "acedia" (spiritual boredom), offering practices for slowing down and creating space for intimacy with God Timestamps: 00:52 Who Were the Desert Fathers and Mothers? 02:00 Empire and Faith: When Church Meets Political Power 05:00 Embodied Spirituality vs. Head-Centered Faith 09:00 Rebuilding Faith Through Ancient Community Models 13:00 The Nine Afflicting Thoughts: Body, Mind, Spirit 1 8:00 What Would Concern and Encourage the Desert Elders Today? 21:00 Productivity vs. Faithfulness: Redefining Spiritual Success 26:00 The Practice of Vigil: Active Waiting on God 30:00 Finding Lisa's Work and Resources This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kateboyd.substack.com/subscribe

    33 min
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About

Transforming faith after fracture The Untidy Faith podcast is where we have honest conversations and gentle encouragement for when following Jesus gets messy. Join your host, Kate Boyd - author, speaker, and gentle guide for Christians who are disentangling their faith from culture, rebuilding their relationship with Scripture, and desiring to find joy in following Jesus again - each week to find your life and faith after deconstruction. kateboyd.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Kate Boyd
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2025
  • Episodes
    150
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Kate Boyd
  • Show Website
    Untidy Faith

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