14 episodes
Happy Polydays Poly Philia
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- Society & Culture
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5.0 • 13 Ratings
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The Happy Polydays project is a series of intimate conversations about polyamory, identity, sexuality and relationships.
Leanne Yau (she/they), the host of this series, is a polyamorous content creator, writer, educator and advocate. She founded Poly Philia (@polyphiliablog), the largest social media platform dedicated to non-monogamy education and awareness in Europe, where she creates and curates humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content.
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Polyamory and Blackness with @marjanilane
Marjani Lane (@marjanilane) is one of the most well-known Black polyamorous educators and is a hugely important voice in the community when it comes to pro-Black polyamorous activism. To round off this season, we discuss Marjani’s life as a queer, disabled polyamorist, as well as several controversial, hard-hitting issues in the Black polyamorous and polygamous communities:
- why Marjani believes that people can be polyamorous cheaters, and that solo polyamory is a life philosophy rather than a specific lifestyle
- how Marjani’s physical disabilities and diagnoses of ASPD and OCPD affect how they practice polyamory
- The distinction between fluid bonding and fluid exchange, and how some Black polyamorists do not feel that mainstream polyamory terms were made for them or with them in mind
- How the Black community’s idea of polygyny and the goal of “building an empire” to “save” the Black community ultimately tie back to white supremacy, misogynoir and a struggle with identity and acceptance
- Queerphobia and ableism in the polyamorous community, and how the idea of “usefulness” serves a pro-capitalist, pro-natalist agenda that comes at the expense of the marginalised
and much more.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
FOLLOW US:
Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop
Marjani (@marjanilane): Instagram | Clubhouse | Tiktok | Facebook | Website -
From A Closed Cult To Open Love with @chillpolyamory
CW: emotional abuse, eating disorders
In this harrowing, vulnerable episode, Morgan of @chillpolyamory shares her experiences in a cult from the age of 15-21, how she left and unpacked all the internalised shame and guilt around her sexuality, and went on to embrace an open, polyamorous life. We discuss:
- the parallels between high-control groups and certain oppressive religions, and the harm that causes to one's psyche
- how content creation has enabled Morgan to deal with her trigger around public humiliation head-on
- how kink has been a healing way for Morgan to safely and temporarily give up control (and why a 24/7 dynamic is not for her!)
- a surprisingly positive parallel between cults and the polyamorous community?
and much more.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
FOLLOW US:
Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop
Morgan (@chillpolyamory): Instagram | Patreon | Website -
Polyamory and Abuse with @polypages
Abuse happens in all kinds of relationships, and non-monogamous people are no different. Claire from @polypages and I discuss:
- The Duluth Model of the power and control wheel as applied to abusive polyamorous dynamics
- Whether the book More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux should still be recommended as a polyamory introductory text
- Why toxic positivity culture is harmful and does a disservice to the polyamorous community
- Why non-monogamous people are more susceptible to abusive dynamics due to the lack of societal support available and toxic behaviours being brushed under the carpet as "jealousy issues to work through"
- How Claire arrived at solo polyamory as the best fit for her life
and much more.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
FOLLOW US:
Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop
Claire (@polypages): Instagram | Tiktok | Twitter | Website | Polyamory Day Event -
Polyamorous and Asian with @polyamorouswhileasian
Michelle Hy's polyamory advocacy work (@polyamorouswhileasian) on the political intersection between relationships and race, sex positivity, and body neutrality is well known to many. In this episode we discuss:
- Michelle's very sudden introduction to polyamory at 18 years old
- Misconceptions in mainstream polyamorous narratives
- Handling boundaries and expectations with Asian parents
- Why my mother is less accepting of my bisexuality than my cousin's lesbianism
- Handling fetishisation of Asianness in dating, and where we draw the line between attraction and exoticisation
and much more.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
FOLLOW US:
Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop
Michelle (@polyamorouswhileasian): Instagram | Website -
Polyamory and Religion with @puritytopolyamory
What do purity culture and mononormativity have in common? I speak with @puritytopolyamory as she shares her fascinating story of moving from the oppressive Evangelical Christian religion to solo polyamory. We discuss:
- How purity culture is rape culture, and why it is particularly damaging to people socialised as women
- Why the many changes that occur in the opening up process lead to so many previously monogamous relationships failing at no fault of their own
- How Christianity and polyamory can be reconciled, but not purity culture and polyamory
- Why both of us no longer identify as demisexual
and much more.
FOLLOW US:
Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop
PTP (@puritytopolyamory): Instagram | Twitter | Podcast -
Polyamory Under Late-Stage Capitalism with @femmmeow and @antimononormative
How is polyamory influencing current and future generations under late-stage capitalism? Join myself and Nayeli (@antimononormative), who are both Gen Z, and younger millennial Sky (@femmmeow) as we talk about how modern monogamy is influenced by the commodification of intimacy under capitalism, colonialism and heteropatriarchical forces. We discuss:
- Sky's upbringing in the Scientology cult and how her embracing her queerness led her to question monogamy and relationships
- Nayeli's radical abolitionist stances on basically everything, and her coining and explaining the terms "late-stage mononormativity" and "mononormativity reformist"
- How the rise of non-monogamy was directly caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, and was not a coincidence!
- How we are all absolute stans of Esther Perel and her work
and much more.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
FOLLOW US:
Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop
Nayeli (@antimononormative): Instagram | Tiktok | Twitter
Skylar (@femmmeow): Instagram | Twitter | Tiktok | Website
Customer Reviews
Yes!!
Insightful, vulnerable, funny and *much* needed education about polyamory and the personal experiences that lead to expanding one’s framework of sex and love. Thank you Leanne and all of these incredible guests for your great work!
Leanne is incredible!
It is her Instagram content that opened my eyes to the fact that I’m polyamorous. Before I discovered her content, I was convinced that there was something terribly wrong with me. Hearing open and honest conversations where non-monogamy and kink and sex are normalized makes me feel so warm. Anyone in any sort of non monog or kinky community NEEDS to listen. You will not regret it. :)