16 episodes

From the creators of Smash Fiction, it's horniness meets science! We examine a fictional universe and rank the f*ckability of the characters to determine the true median on our collective boner scale. Who exactly is the middle of the pack in Lord of the Rings? Who is the middle ground of sexiness in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Just where does the horniness middle fall in Game of Thrones? We bring together a diverse array of sexualities, rank the characters, crunch the numbers, and find out truly wild and surprising things about everyone's internal boner-meter along the way.

Hard Choices MeganBob

    • Comedy
    • 5.0 • 12 Ratings

From the creators of Smash Fiction, it's horniness meets science! We examine a fictional universe and rank the f*ckability of the characters to determine the true median on our collective boner scale. Who exactly is the middle of the pack in Lord of the Rings? Who is the middle ground of sexiness in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Just where does the horniness middle fall in Game of Thrones? We bring together a diverse array of sexualities, rank the characters, crunch the numbers, and find out truly wild and surprising things about everyone's internal boner-meter along the way.

    Hard Choices 15 - Nicolas Cage Characters

    Hard Choices 15 - Nicolas Cage Characters

    Happy Cagemas in...Well, let's call it July overtime, shall we? Sure, it's a cynical cash-grab to double up on Cagemas by doing Cagemas in July, but we never apologize for double-stuffing here on Hard Choices.

    Let's be honest, we all want to talk about boning Nic Cage characters. That's just the human condition. Five of the former hosts of the Smash Fiction podcast gathered together to live the dream. Stands are taken for wizards, spiders, truckers, writers, chefs, you name it.

    If you're expecting a lukewarm episode, think again. Bob is barely able to string a coherent thought together, such is their thirst in this one. We may only cover fifteen Cages but the horniness here is enough to rock an entire cinematic career. You think you won't have feelings when you listen to this. You think you'll remain aloof and above looking at Nicolas Cage with erotic longing. When your walls start to crumble, don't be afraid. Lean into the nouveau shamanic embrace of The Cage. 

    • 1 hr 36 min
    Hard Choices 14 - Final Fantasy VI

    Hard Choices 14 - Final Fantasy VI

    In our unending quest to understand fuckability, the Hard Choices crew plucked out a list of notable characters from the Nintendo masterpiece Final Fantasy VI and got down to some fantasizing of our own. Claire Mulkerin, Dan Mulkerin, Alex Roberts, and MeganBob explore an entire floating continent's worth of boners in our search for the median of fuckability in the FFVI universe.

    We found an indisputable median, but along the way we also delved into blunt himbos, the outfit Kefka makes you wear, and the FFVI character who is most desperate to be pegged. We f**k monsters, ghosts, old guys, banana-looking m***********s, and a murder clown, all in the name of bringing you the kind of experience that the fanfiction-producing internet of 1994 simply was not ready for.

    Hit download, pull up the Yoshitaka Amano concept art, and climb aboard this sexy airship bound for the throbbing heart of horniness.
    By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!

    Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
    https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
    License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
    License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
    License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
    License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
    License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
    https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
    License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
    License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW
    https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed
    License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up

    License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R

    • 1 hr 33 min
    Hard Choices 13 - Musicals

    Hard Choices 13 - Musicals

    Some mediums are just too fuckable. Can you really walk past an orchestra pit, playbill in hand, and not feel a stirring in your loins? We didn't think so! That's why we gathered 21 notable characters from stage and screen musicals and sat down to rank their fuckability with a level of precision and rigor that would make a Sondheim song look like child's play.
     
    Hub, Claire, Miles, and MeganBob journey through a wide array of musical history and hit a lot of the highlights and lowlights with this one. Along the way, monsterfucker credibility is threatened. A classic musical is given the sexy BDSM rewrite that it richly deserves. There's a surprising amount of discussion about whether or not we would f**k Goofy. And to top it all off, Bob realizes they left some fuckable crumbs on the table and that they have to live with that forever.
     
    Hit download and let that sweeping score carry you to places Broadway never dared take you.
     
    By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!

    Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
    https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
    License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
    License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
    License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
    License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
    License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
    https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
    License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
    License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

    • 1 hr 57 min
    Hard Choices 12 - Doctor Who

    Hard Choices 12 - Doctor Who

    Welcome to a very timey wimey episode where we take the entire long history of the Doctor Who franchise and do to it what Jack Harkness only wishes he could. We gathered up 21 characters from a wide spread of old and new Who and sat down in our best fezes and converse to rank the fuckability of all that time and space had to offer in our attempt to find the median of fuckability in the Doctor Who universe.
    Thankfully, our companions were up to the task. Jaime Smith, Sharon Schneiderman, Kris Newton, and MeganBob tackled the important questions like how likely are you to end up buried alive? Is a Scottish accent enough? Just what kind of cute faces will some of these characters make? And how romantic can one f**k be before MeganBob has to hide under the bed?
    Pick your favorite room on the T.A.R.D.I.S and settle in for all of the scarf-tangled f*****g you can possibly stand. And yes, this is a big episode, but we promise you, it's going to feel MUCH bigger on the inside.

    By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!

    Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
    https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
    License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
    License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
    License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
    License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
    License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
    https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
    License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
    License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

    • 1 hr 59 min
    Hard Choices 11 - The Mummy Trilogy

    Hard Choices 11 - The Mummy Trilogy

    1999 called and it says "hey babe, remember me?" and yes, yes we do. We remember the exact moment when The Mummy first crashed into our lives and touched us in ways we couldn't yet fully articulate. Rick, Evey, Ardeth, all of them, swept us off our feet and we've stayed swept ever since.

    This universe has some of the crème de la crème of fuckable characters but it also has some real bad eggs in there too. Annie Craton, Kit Mulkerin, Kam Servo, and MeganBob gathered up 21 characters from The Mummy trilogy and tried to figure out what the true median is and uncover some dark and cursed truths along the way. There are some things that shouldn't be read out loud, it turns out. Tune in to find out who's ready for a cartouche imprint on their ass, who loves shooty boys and yee-haws, and more thoughts about yetis than you'd expect. Hit download and enjoy something with enough passion to raise the dead...and maybe touch their butts.

    Download, put in your earbuds, offer a prayer to Sobek, and enjoy this ride down the Nile to find what lies at the throbbing heart of horniness. 

    • 1 hr 44 min
    Hard Choices 10 - Disney Villains

    Hard Choices 10 - Disney Villains

    It may be too late in February for Valentine's Day, but it's never too late for Villaintine's Day. That's right, we brought together four "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and asked them to rank the fuckability of 21 villains from the Disney animated canon. All we can say is "Be Prepared" because we will not stop until we get to the median of fuckability.

    And what happens when you ask Kris Newton, Kit Mulkerin, Marissa, and MeganBob to brave the "Hellfire" in their deepest darkest hearts like this? Well, you find out about Jekyll & Hydes, who doesn't mind being beheaded, the perils of physical comedy in the bedroom, and just how getting down with Chernabog could maybe work?

    Hit download, press play, and let your "Friends on the Other Side" of your audio device take you to places that good ol' Walt never could have dreamed of. 

    By the way, we have a Patreon! You can support the show and get access to all the behind-the-scenes hilarity and other cool perks!


    Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

    https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me
    License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk
    License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman
    License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY
    https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it
    License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life
    License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML
    https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time
    License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y
    https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop
    License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW

    • 1 hr 28 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
12 Ratings

12 Ratings

Maelleall7 ,

More Than Meets the...Ear

At first glance, you might think this is a horny podcast...and you would be right. But, it's so much than that. Beneath the veneer of horniness is a thoughtful, humorous and truly beautiful roundtable of rotating friends having sincere conversations about what everyone thinks about in some form/fashion. This is not simply horniness for the sake of horniness. It's the fun and deliberative elements of Smash Fiction with the low-pressure feeling/conversation style you would have at a dinner with close friends. I sincerely hope this podcast sticks around.

P.S. - Tali was ROBBED! ; )

kamcs ,

It has MEGANBOB

What more could you want?

SamSprague ,

Intimacy incarnate

Disguised as a sort of self-insert fanfic exercise, this podcast is actually about revealing the deep workings of the hosts’ minds, which it does better than any other I’ve heard. Highly recommend making your own rankings to follow along and learn more about yourself as well. PS, Meganbob and co, please do Adventure Time! My partner and I followed your format for it and had a blast!

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