32 episodes

Stories about growing up Seventh-day Adventist, leaving faith behind, and building new, fulfilling lives.

Haystacks & Hell Haystacks & Hell

    • Religion & Spirituality
    • 4.8 • 32 Ratings

Stories about growing up Seventh-day Adventist, leaving faith behind, and building new, fulfilling lives.

    S2:E1 - Meet Erika: ex-SDA Teacher, Mom, Survivor of Abuse

    S2:E1 - Meet Erika: ex-SDA Teacher, Mom, Survivor of Abuse

    Santiago interviews Erika Miller, an ex-SDA teacher, mom, and survivor of abuse. As a young child, Erika was abused by a deacon's son at her home church. She shares her amazing story of resilience, attending Newbold College in the UK, and eventually leaving the Adventist church.

    • 1 hr 36 min
    S2:E2 - From SDA Student Missionary to Agnostic: Morgan Clae

    S2:E2 - From SDA Student Missionary to Agnostic: Morgan Clae

    Santiago interviews Morgan Clae, an ex-Adventist director, producer, and singer-songwriter based in Los Angeles. We discuss purity culture, her time at Walla Walla University, being a student missionary, deconstruction, and becoming agnostic. We also explore the meaning behind the lyrics of Wilder Things, Morgan's song on deconstruction and coming out.

    • 2 hr 6 min
    S2:E3 - Meet Will: ex-SDA Husband, Dad, Lawyer - Pt. 1

    S2:E3 - Meet Will: ex-SDA Husband, Dad, Lawyer - Pt. 1

    Part 1 of 2: Santiago interviews Will James, an ex-Adventist husband, dad, lawyer, and TikToker based in the U.S. state of Oklahoma. We discuss his parents' conversion to Adventism (along with 30 of their friends?!) when he was two years old. Will grew up with a very literal interpretation of the Bible and Ellen White's writings, and eventually deconstructed everything.

    • 57 min
    S2:E4 - Meet Will: ex-SDA Husband, Dad, Lawyer - Pt. 2

    S2:E4 - Meet Will: ex-SDA Husband, Dad, Lawyer - Pt. 2

    Part 2 of 2: Santiago interviews Will James, an ex-Adventist husband, dad, lawyer, and TikToker based in the U.S. state of Oklahoma. We discuss writing wills for SDA church members, Will's deconstruction from Adventism, telling his parents, and navigating his own parental responsibilities, having deconstructed at just the right moment.

    • 1 hr 40 min
    S2:E5 - Adventist "Halloween" or Nah?

    S2:E5 - Adventist "Halloween" or Nah?

    Santiago and Saoirse discuss their very different childhood experiences with Halloween and read some stories from the ex-Adventist subreddit. Abby, Ami, and friends talk around a bonfire (bone fire?) about their experiences with Halloween. That last part of the episode is a little loud, but there's some fun stuff if you're patient.

    • 1 hr 6 min
    S2:E6 - Charli: Escaping her Adoptive SDA Parents - Pt. 1

    S2:E6 - Charli: Escaping her Adoptive SDA Parents - Pt. 1

    Santiago interviews Charlotte Hayes (Charli), a Gen-Z ex-Adventist. She was adopted from Russia and brought to the U.S. as a baby by an Adventist couple. Growing up, Charli experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at home. The police and Child Protective Services investigated, but nothing happened, so she ran away from home at 18. She now has over 500k people on TikTok who have been following her life story.

    • 1 hr 50 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
32 Ratings

32 Ratings

Tiki Guy ,

I can’t wait for season two

A friend told me about this a few weeks ago and I listened to all 20 episodes plus the 3 extras within 48 hours. I then tried to find as much as I could by the guests on the show. I was a 4th generation Adventist and I started questioning in college in the early 90s and stopped going around 2000 but didn’t really “deconstruct” I just was a a badventist and Adventist that eats ham & shrimp, drinks occasionally and doesn’t go to church though I did go to church twice in 2022 to support a relative and old teachers getting an award. There were a lot of thing I never really thought about, listening to people talking about the same experiences I had felt comforting. We shared experiences that so many of us never talked about. I was so programmed to just say we are just basic Christian’s who keep Saturday Sabbath but are basically just Baptists or Methodists without really confronting all of the very different parts of the SDA church.

KADLS ,

Last episode

The last podcast is not working. Disappointed because I really wanted to listen to it.

WillJamesMusic ,

This space is needed

When I was deconstructing my Adventist worldview, I didn’t know how to find others going through the same thing. A book here and there, but I longed to hear other people tell stories that I could connect to and that was lacking from Adventist spaces. I’m a big fan of this and can’t wait to see where it goes.

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