145 episodes

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal share the personal dysfunction in their lives, view on news, gossip, politics and so much more. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

Hello Dysfunction Hello Dysfunction

    • Comedy
    • 4.9 • 1.4K Ratings

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal share the personal dysfunction in their lives, view on news, gossip, politics and so much more. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

    May The Best Pussy Win

    May The Best Pussy Win

    Please note, this is our first episode recorded separately due to covid. Our quality of sound may have been somewhat compromised.
    A few updates, a few write  ins…everyone be safe and thank you for listening! 

    Check out this week’s sponsors! 

    • BetterHelp

    Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO




    • Poshmark 
    The seasons are changing, we’re ready to clean out our closets and grab some new items for fall! 
    Poshmark is the best reseller app on the market right now. It’s super easy to set up a closet to sell your items for cash and browse thru thousands of gently used and brand nee items at 70% below retail.  
    Right now Poshmark is extending a $10 discount to our listeners on your first purchase!  Just use invite code dysfunction10 when you sign up! Invite code: dysfunction10

    • Hella Infused 
    High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. 
    Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. 
    hellainfused.com 
    IG: Instagram.com/hella_infused

    Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

    Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

    Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com 

    • 2 hr 2 min
    Dumb, Dumber, And a Baby

    Dumb, Dumber, And a Baby

    Crystal Barbie wasn’t real, call her Crystal hot t**s. Everyone needs to explode sometimes. HSP explains a lot. PeePee is doing much better, Natalia made everyone early valentines. Check the dates on all snacks always. 

    Check out this week’s sponsors! 

    • BetterHelp

    Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO




    • DIPSEA
    Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
    The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
    If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
    Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

    Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
    That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

    • Hella Infused 
    High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. 
    Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. 
    hellainfused.com 
    IG: Instagram.com/hella_infused

    Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

    Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

    Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com 

    • 1 hr 32 min
    Let's Joust

    Let's Joust

    Bunny had her first fight, Crystal ate some bad food, Pata Fria is loving store deliveries and curbside service. When was the last time you ran full speed? Stay your asses off the milk crates and race play kinks are unfortunately a thing. 

    Check out this week’s sponsors! 

    • BetterHelp

    Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO




    • DIPSEA
    Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
    The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
    If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
    Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

    Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
    That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

    Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

    Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

    Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com 

    • 1 hr 15 min
    Creamies

    Creamies

    Happy Birthday Crystal, fussy babies and the first day of school. Don’t eat chocolate in the bed and does anyone know how long plan B lasts? 

    Check out this week’s sponsors! 

    • BetterHelp

    Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO




    • Hella Infused 
    High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. 
    Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. 
    hellainfused.com 
    IG: Instagram.com/hella_infused

    Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

    Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

    Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com 

    • 1 hr 15 min
    And I Wasn't On Drugs

    And I Wasn't On Drugs

    Crystal got embarrassed at Alpha Beta and has ugly nails. Pata Fria is a lonely girl, but don’t marry your cousin or your child. Starbucks is really slackin so thank god for Orbit Coffee! 

    Check out this week’s sponsors! 

    • DIPSEA
    Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
    The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
    If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
    Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

    Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
    That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

    • Hella Infused 
    High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. 
    Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. 
    hellainfused.com 
    IG: Instagram.com/hella_infused

    Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

    Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

    Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com 

    • 1 hr 15 min
    Meat Sweats

    Meat Sweats

    PMS is killing us. Was Crystal actually a southern woman in a past life? America’s eating habits are embarrassing. Don’t wait for the stink. 

    Check out this week’s sponsors! 

    • BetterHelp

    Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO




    • Hella Infused 
    High quality handmade lab tested CBD infused products. 
    Black woman owned/local/independent business! Right now Hella Infused is offering a free gift and 20% off to our listeners. Shop now using code: hellodysfunction at checkout. 
    hellainfused.com 
    IG: Instagram.com/hella_infused

    Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

    Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

    Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com 

    • 1 hr 41 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
1.4K Ratings

1.4K Ratings

Higherlogic92 ,

Long time listener!

Listening all over again for a fourth time because I love these ladies and this podcast so much; I’ve learned so much about myself and how to love myself 😭❤️Every time I put on an episode, that funky intro starts playing and Pata Fría + Crystal get to going I feel like I’m listening to family. They’ve become like my older sisters from the west coast. I love you ladies! Thank you for the CONSISTENT love and laughter even with life’s crazy ups and downs. With so much love, from a faithful, dysfunctional listener from Jersey ❤️

MariLM92 ,

Feel like I’m just spilling tea with my besties

Been a fan of Crystal and Pata for awhile now, absolutely love this podcast definitely recommend it to all my friends. Always cracking up listening to their stories but appreciate the realness on their takes on what’s going on in the world too. Also I wanted to recommend to true crime podcast Sistas Who Kill - I think you guys would really like it 😌

_m.breezy ,

No new friends

I absolutely love these ladies, Listen & laugh all day long & sometimes my husband joins in & listens (he thinks you’re both crazy) but nonetheless you’re both amazing women & very empowering, I love crystals dying devotion to every animal In existence & pata frias realness. The advice & positivity is what everyone needs. Love you ladies. 💕 -missy

Top Podcasts In Comedy

Listeners Also Subscribed To