The Carla and Crappy Show

Carla Swank Fox and Uncle Crappy
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Football
  • Updated Weekly

A recovered sportswriter and a demented college football fan discuss the week’s best college football games -- and a few of the worst ones.

  1. 4d ago

    Carla and Crappy Show: The You Are Looking Live Edition

    It’s Week 7 of the college football season, and once again, we are attempting to upend the validity of the space-time continuum, as Carla and official friend of the show Jake Rose are live from Floyd Stadium on the campus of Middle Tennessee State University … at least two days ago by the time you’re seeing this. Yep, we’re taking the whole midweek football distraction to an entirely new level. (And apparently decibel as well, as Carla and Jake struggled to hear anything that Crappy and AJ were saying, thanks to an extra-loud PA announcer.) Speaking of Crappy and AJ, they get things rolling with the weekly review of the minutes, allowing AJ proper time to gloat about his declaration about the importance of the LSU at Kentucky game waaaaay back in Week 1. Friends, he was right. He was more than right. And because we’re infamously known for “just how wrong we were,” this is a more than warranted celebration. We also reviewed a stupid and definitely not dumb Red River Rivalry thriller and Curt Cignetti’s adjustments to lift Indiana to a significant road win in Lincoln. Then, because we needed to get our analysis fully completed before halftime of the Delaware at MTSU game happening live behind Carla and Jake, we moved efficiently to AJ’s #GroupOfSixAfterDarkQuadboxSpecials, incorporating the weekly #MonsterEnergyBig12GoldenCorralBuffet and the #Pac12IceCold4Pac. Thursday Colorado State at Texas State (8 ET, CBSSN): Pew, pew, pew! Noon-ish Cincinnati at WVU (Noon ET, TNT): Neither of these fan bases is really happy. Kansas at Kansas State (Noon ET, FS1): The Sunflower Showdown! Virginia at No. 24 SMU (Noon ET, TNT): ACC football continues to be entertaining. Georgia State at James Madison (Noon ET, ESPNU): Could be a Sun Belt title preview? UMass at Buffalo (1 ET, ESPN+): A bonus add to your early quadbox. Let’s get UMass back on track! Afternoon Arizona State at No. 10 Texas Tech (3:30 ET, FOX): The Forks are … struggling. Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech (3:30 ET, ACCN): Gotta watch the Tech-mo Bowl! UNLV at Air Force (3:30 ET, CBSSN): Legit good Mountain West matchup. Toledo at Eastern Michigan (3:30 ET, ESPN+): Legit midday MACtion. Evening Washington State at Oregon State (6 ET, USA): The Pac-2 gets its game on. TCU at Baylor (7 ET, FS1): Your guess is as good as ours. Wisconsin at No. 12 UCLA (7:30 ET, NBC): At least one of us picks the Badgers! Navy at UTSA (8 ET, ESPNU): Meep is a tough out in the Alamo Dome. Just ask USF. After Dark No. 11 Utah at Colorado (10:15 ET, ESPN): Deion’s days might be numbered. Fresno State at San Diego State (10:30 ET, CBSSN): Fresno’s looking good. Wake Forest at Cal (10:30 ET, ESPN2): So much woke. Nebraska at Oregon (11 ET, FOX): It’s the Dylan Raiola reunion show. Ohio at Sacramento State (10 ET, ESPN+): A bonus pick, just for Crappy. Sorry about having to stay up late! And then, this week’s Luca Brasi Large Masculine Child Lineup features a bunch of games that have the potential of being extremely close. These should be good ones, kids. No. 4 Ohio State at No. 5 Indiana (Big Nude, FOX): To say this game is big is an understatement. We step aside and let Jake and Crappy handle this one. Surprising absolutely no one, they’ve got opposite picks. But they both anticipate a fantastic game in Bloomington, regardless of outcome. Florida at No. 7 Texas (Noon ET, ABC): The Horns have to be really careful here not to let Oklahoma beat them twice. Will Florida get up for this huge road test, or is this season done for the Gators? No. 16 Mississippi State at No. 22 LSU (Noon ET, ESPN): Remember what we just said about Texas? Yeah. The same goes for the Kiffin crew here. Clanga’s a formidable foe, although not as much so sans Kamario Taylor. We’ll see whether LSU can right the ship at home. No. 6 Alabama at No. 14 Tennessee (3:30 ET, ABC): After dropping a close one at home, the Tide heads to Neyland. But none of us seems super convinced about what Tennessee really is this year. No. 13 Missouri at No. 9 Ole Miss (3:30 ET, SECN): OK, Mizzou. We’re intrigued. Can you pull off a gigantic road win over a prolific offense? We all know the Rebs don’t play much defense, so this feels attainable for the Tigers. We’ll see. No. 2 Notre Dame at No. 8 BYU (7:30 ET, ABC): We’ve had this game circled for quite a while. The Irish need this win for their playoff resume. Badly. But it’s a night game in Provo. The Mormons will be amped. We’re divided right down the middle on this one. No. 18 Oklahoma State at No. 20 Houston (7:30 ET, FOX): Yes, this is a Monster Energy Big 12 Golden Corral Buffet game – likely this week’s entree – and we stole it for the Big Boy slate. Which team wins this game? Who knows. But this will be pointsy as all get out and entertaining as heck. Finally, we offer our honorable mentions to a wide-ranging selection of games, thanks as always to The Fun Index: FBS Penn State at Michigan (3:30 ET, CBS): The Nits have an opportunity to do the funniest thing ever here. Carla offers a hearty “We Are.” FCS New Haven at Robert Morris (Noon ET, ESPN+): A potential bounce-back game for the Colonials. No. 1 South Dakota State at No. 15 North Dakota (2 ET, ESPN+): The best matchup of the weekend in FCS. DII No. 7 Slippery Rock at No. 19 IUP (2 ET, PSAC Network): Western PA fans, get to this one if you can. No. 1 Ferris State at No. 13 Grand Valley State (3 ET, FloSports): You might need a subscription, but this game should be worth it. DIII Carnegie Mellon at Gettysburg (1 ET, Centennial Network): The Tartans look to remain unbeaten in conference play. No. 8 Wisconsin-River Falls at No. 3 Wisconsin-Platteville (2 ET, WIAC Network): What did we tell you about DIII football and Wisconsin? And with that, the game clock strikes halftime in Murfreesboro, and our special “live” edition comes to a close. Also, a spoiler alert that’s not really a spoiler alert because scoreboards exist: MTSU ultimately beat Delaware in what turned out to be a thrilling game, 33-30. Enjoy the football this weekend, friends. We’ll see you back here again next week.

  2. Oct 8

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Fair Food Edition

    Welcome to Week 6 of the college football season, which officially enters us into the fantastic world of midweek football! Fortunately for you all, we don’t get too distracted by the Southern Miss at Troy game that we all have on in the background while recording. We are, however, extremely distracted by AJ’s presence in Dallas, just outside the real Cotton Bowl and clearly in view of the Texas State Fair. And that causes us to go on a deep dive on our favorite fair foods – funnel cakes, cheeseburgers, fries, ox roast sandwiches, hot apple dumplings, peach pies, and, of course, stuffed pork chops. Yum. Eventually, we stop salivating and return to the matter at hand. We officially review last week’s show minutes and happenings, including some spectacular Kibbie Dome Magic, Colorado State’s mid-game coordinator dismissal, Bob Chesney’s continued good-human antics, and so many Hawaii false starts (much to AJ’s chagrin). Carla then walks us through her three themes from Week 5, including multiple college kicker situations, teams going for the win in OT, and defenses that seem to have completely disappeared. (She’s looking squarely at you, MTSU and Penn State.) After that, it’s time to turn the page. AJ gets us started with the #MonsterEnergyBig12GoldenCorralBuffet with a side of the #Pac12IceCold4Pac. Friday Washington State at Utah State (9 ET, God’s CW): Wazzu is down bad. Iowa State at No. 8 BYU (10:15 ET, ESPN): It’s a BYU night game, and the stadium will be rocking. Noon-ish UCF at No. 18 Oklahoma State (Noon ET, ESPN2): UCF appears to be fraudulent. Arizona at WVU (Noon ET, TNT): The RichRod Bowl! Fun Index is 61.5, and WVU doesn’t play defense. Afternoon No. 22 Houston at Kansas State (3:30 ET, FOX): Powercats favored at home? Houston is more than sneaky good. San Diego State at Oregon State (5 ET, USA): Characters still welcome, and Oregon State’s offense is fun. After Dark Kansas at No. 12 Utah (10:15 ET, ESPN): Hope you enjoyed that win, Jayhawks. Because this week, you’re getting a pillowcase full of bricks. No. 23 Boise State at Fresno State (10:30 ET, God’s CW): Speaking of pillowcases full of bricks, meet Boise’s ground game. To round out the quadboxes for your viewing pleasure, here are this week’s #GroupOfSixAfterDarkQuadBoxSpecials: Friday Florida State at Louisville (7 ET, ESPN): Which versions of these teams show up? If we get the good versions, this could be spectacular. Noon-ish Wake Forest at NC State (Noon ET, God’s CW): NC State is the most interesting team in college football. Even they don’t know what’s going to happen. Afternoon: A large bowl of MACtion! Miami (OH) at UMass (2 ET, ESPN+): Has Miami outgrown the MAC? Crappy’s none too pleased, and he’s rooting hard for the Hawks to lose. We need a 5-win UMass! Eastern Michigan at Akron (3:30 ET, ESPN+): Emus. Buffalo at Toledo (3:30 ET, ESPN+): The Rockets should turn Buffalo into a fine mist. Central Michigan at Ohio (3:30 ET, ESPN+): It’s homecoming for the Bobcats. Results against directional Michigans tend to be important. Kent State at Western Michigan (3:30 ET, ESPN+): This is burly, sturdy football. Evening North Dakota State at UNLV (7 ET, God’s CW): Two of the Mountain West’s best go head-to-head. Louisiana-Lafayette at Louisiana Tech (7:30 ET, ESPN+): The rivalry is back! But it’ll be sloppy as heck. After Dark Hawaii at Arizona State (9:30 ET, FS1): You can watch the Bows at an almost normal time! And then … we’re on to this week’s Luca Brasi Large Masculine Child Lineup. No. 20 Iowa at Washington (9 ET Friday, FOX): Is this a bounce-back game for the Hawkeyes? We certainly think it could be. The Huskies gave USC a handful last weekend. No. 7 Indiana at Nebraska (Big Nude, FOX): It’s a letdown-lookahead sandwich … for both teams? We’ll find out who Nebraska really is this year, but we’re all still on the Hoosier bandwagon for this one. North Carolina at No. 25 Pitt (Noon ET, ESPN): We’re not convinced this is going to be a great game, so we’re much more amused speculating about Belichick’s inner dialogue in his return to the Mustard Bowl. (Why is Gronk’s head in a ketchup bottle?) No. 21 UCLA at No. 13 Oregon (3:30 ET, CBS): We all think Dan Lanning has Oregon’s full attention now, which isn’t great news for the Bruins. Bob Chesney is a stellar human being, and UCLA can run the dang football. But the Ducks offense might be a bit too much, especially at home. No. 1 Texas vs. Oklahoma (3:30 ET, ABC): The annual Wed Wiver Wivalwy should be extra dumb this year. A Fun Index of 39.5? Gross. In AJ’s words, Brett Venables needs to be fired … out of a cannon. No. 10 LSU at Kentucky (7 ET, ESPN): We’ve had this game circled for quite a while, kids. And we’re all miffed that the Cats were dropped out of the Top 25 this week. Will Lane Kiffin and LSU bear the brunt of that frustration? It’s definitely possible … and at least one of us is picking the upset. No. 2 Georgia at No. 6 Alabama (7:30 ET, ABC): Something to watch here – there’s a hurricane a’comin’. Will kickoff get moved up? Delayed? Postponed until Sunday? Or will the game go as scheduled and be played in a driving rainstorm? So many possibilities. Which team wins? Who’s to say? No. 19 USC at Penn State (7:30 ET, NBC): It’s the annual Whiteout game, and the Nits look lost. It is worth noting, though, that Lincoln Riley has been known to outcoach himself in situations like these. AJ and Crappy both think that Penn State rallies and knocks off the Trojans. Carla really hopes they’re right. Once again, our honorable mentions span the breadth of the college football ecosystem, thanks to The Fun Index: FBS Maryland at No. 5 Ohio State (4:15 ET, BTN): The Crappys will be attending this game in person. FCS Robert Morris at Morgan State (Noon ET, ESPN+): Colonials look to win back-to-back weekends. No. 3 Montana at No. 14 Northern Arizona (5 ET, ESPN+): Another Big Sky banger! No. 2 Tarleton State at No. 8 Austin Peay (7 ET, ESPN+): A Top 10 FCS matchup. Let’s go, Peay! DII No. 6 Grand Valley State at No. 19 Michigan Tech (Noon ET, FloSports): A DII Top 25 matchup. No. 24 Central Missouri at No. 14 NW Missouri State (2:30 ET, MIAA): If you can find it, watch it. DIII Johns Hopkins at Carnegie Mellon (Noon ET, Centennial Network): Tartans continue conference play after dismantling the Green Terror last weekend. No. 5 Wisconsin-Whitewater at No. 20 Wisconsin-Lacrosse (2 ET, WIAC): If you want good DIII football, look no further than the state of Wisconsin. No. 2 Wheaton at No. 1 North Central (7 ET, CCIW): Seriously, friends. If you can find this game, watch it. It’s not very often you get a Top 2 matchup midseason. So grab yourself some nachos, fries, nacho fries, or one of those really long donut-y things, and settle in for a good weekend of college football. We’ll be back next week to see just how wrong we were. Cheers, friends.

  3. Oct 1

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Gloopy Clanga Edition

    Hi, friends. It’s Week 5 of the college football season, and yes, we kick off this episode with the much-delayed and highly anticipated Pop-Tarts ice cream sandwich taste test, which we have to do before anything else because, well, ice cream melts. And, as it turns out, Pop-Tart icing is sticky. Our recommendation: It’s worth the gloopiness. Go buy them. They’re delicious. (And hey, Pop-Tarts? Send us to your bowl game.) Then, it’s back to our regularly scheduled programming with a review of last week’s show minutes, in which we revel in the fact that we were very right about UCLA and Georgia. Because … we weren’t so right about other things. (See Tennessee, Ole Miss, and Penn State, in particular.) In our deeper comments from last week’s action, Carla is fired up about the lack of offensive production from her Nittany Lions and officially joins Team Elmo. Student media continues to be undefeated this week, adding the Iowa student radio broadcast team and Brett Walker’s viral post about MTSU’s Derek Mason to the growing list of success stories. AJ notes the record number of cowbells in Starksville on Saturday, while Crappy points out that counting is hard for the Illini, especially on defense. We contemplate what an NPR broadcast of a college football game would be like. And we’re all super fired up about the lack of discipline from the USC program. (Trojans? We’re done. Like, for real.) And then, we all calm down and look ahead to this week’s action, starting with AJ’s ever-growing hashtag, the #GroupOfSixAfterDarkQuadboxSpecials: Friday Pitt at Virginia Tech (7 ET, ESPN): A battle of unranked unbeatens. Penn State at Northwestern (8 ET, FOX): Meet Northwestern’s new stadium. FCS No. 1 Montana State at Idaho (10:30 ET, ESPN): Check out the Kibbie Dome, then go to bed. Noon-ish Stanford at Wake Forest (Noon ET, ACCN): This is just rude for Tree. Navy at Air Force (Noon ET, CBS): A Fun Index of 45? Absolutely not. Afternoon Cal at UNLV (3:30 ET, CBSSN): A Cal game that makes sense? What is this? Louisville at NC State (3:30 ET, ACCN): These two teams will not leave the Quadbox Specials for the rest of the season. Wyoming at North Dakota State (3:30 ET, God’s CW): This is a trophy game! It’s a drill bit. Eastern Michigan at UMass (3:30 ET, ESPN+): Friends, talk to your kids about 5-0 UMass?!? Marshall at James Madison (3:45 ET, ESPNU): What are you doing, Marshall? No. 24 Kentucky at South Carolina (4:15 ET, SECN): Why is South Carolina favored? If you’re wondering why most of those quadboxes have fewer than four games, it’s because we also need to open the #MonsterEnergyBig12GoldenCorralBuffet. Also, we’re excited to welcome the return of the #Pac12IceCold4Pac! Fill your remaining voids with these games: Noon-ish UCF at No. 20 Houston (Noon ET, ESPN2): This is for control of outer space. WVU at Iowa State (Noon ET, TNT): Can the 2006 WVU offense win on the road? Evening Oregon State at Colorado State (6 ET, USA): A 60+ Fun Index! Characters welcome. Defense optional. Utah State at No. 22 Boise State (7:30 ET, CBSSN): Blue turf, Pac-12, in-conference action? Say less. No. 10 BYU at TCU (7 ET, ESPN): Very large Mormons are coming to town. No. 12 Texas Tech at Colorado (7:30 ET, FOX): At least the mountains are pretty. After Dark Fresno State at Washington State (9:30 ET, USA): This just feels right. Texas State at San Diego State (10:30 ET, God’s CW): SDSU needs an offense. Baylor at Arizona State (10:30 ET, ESPN): Forks up. Cincinnati at Arizona (11 ET, FOX): Can Scott Satterfield pull off another comeback win? Very After Dark San Jose State at Hawaii (Midnight ET, MW+): Can our Beloved Bows get back on track? And then, it’s time for the Large Adult Sons Slate: No. 7 Alabama at No. 16 Mississippi State (Noon ET, ABC): Is Clanga for real? We’re going to find out in this one. What we do know: Kamario Taylor continues to be the most fun player in college football. Definitely watch this game … on mute. Michigan at Minnesota (Big Nude, FOX): It’s the Little Brown Jug game … and PJ Fleck has completely gone insane. We don’t know why the Michigan radio crew can’t pronounce Bryce Underwood correctly, but row the boat, Gophers. This game will be gloopy as heck. No. 5 Ohio State at No. 14 Iowa (3:30 ET, CBS): Speaking of gloopy … oh no, Bucks. A trip to Kinnick? This one has trap game written all over it. Iowa’s defense is real good, but guess what? So is Ohio State’s. And the Hawkeyes are the ones who have to try to defend Jeremiah Smith. Good luck with that. No. 8 Florida at No. 25 Missouri (3:30 ET, ABC): The Gators made beating Ole Miss look easy in the Swamp, thanks to a dominant run game. Now, it’s their turn for a potential letdown, heading to Columbia to face a Tigers team that came oh-so-close in Starksville last week. Are the Gators back to being Good Florida? We’ll know more after this one. No. 4 Miami at Clemson (7:30 ET, ABC): This game would be super intriguing if it were 10 years ago. But it’s not, so we spend our time on a much more interesting proposition: Which team wins, 2016 Clemson or 2025 Miami? (Also, yeah, Canes here. Big.) Our honorable mentions this week run the full college football spectrum: FBS MTSU at Kansas (Noon ET, ESPNU): Middle lost a tough one last week, but Rock Chalk is 0-for-FBS opponents on the season. Maybe? Either way, watch Middle on national TV! Ohio at Kent State (3:30 ET, ESPN+): Crappy feels good about his Bobcats. FCS Norfolk State at Robert Morris (2 ET, ESPN+): It’s homecoming for Bob, who just didn’t quite have enough at Buffalo last weekend, much to all of our dismay. No. 2 SDSU at No. 11 Illinois State (7 ET, ESPN+): Illinois State made a deep playoff run last year. No. 19 Northern Arizona at No. 14 Idaho State (8 ET, ESPN+): A Big Sky banger. DII No. 2 Harding at East Central (3 ET, GAC Sports Network): Just because. Gannon at No. 8 Slippery Rock (6 ET, Rock Athletics Digital Network): Shout out to our Western PA friends! DIII Carnegie Mellon at McDaniel (1 ET, Centennial): It’s the return of the Green Terror! Also, these will be spectacular games … if you can find them. No. 2 Wisconsin-River Falls at No. 7 Wisconsin-White Water (2 ET, WIAC Network) No. 8 Bethel at No. 5 St. Johns (2 ET, MIAC Network) And with that, to borrow the words of Kamario Taylor: “Be safe, be smooth, and have a great night.” Enjoy the college football and all of its potential gloopiness this weekend. We’ll see you back here again next week.

  4. Sep 25

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Interesting Week Edition

    Hi, friends. It’s been quite the week for all three of us. So, we’re happy to be back in our joy-filled corner of the interwebs, talking about college football. We’re glad you’re here. We begin, as is our new tradition, with a review of last week’s show minutes, which revealed once again just how wrong we were. Or, were we just a tad early in our Kentucky pick? Maybe? Let’s go with that thought. NC State managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, leaving even the Vanderbilt coaching staff stunned. Carla offered a thorough evaluation of the MTSU/Nevada game. Could the Blue Raiders go bowling this year? She thinks it’s a strong possibility. In other news, the weather definitely didn’t want you to watch college football last Saturday, but we did get a clearer picture of some things. The LSU/Ole Miss game lived up to every ounce of the hype, and UCLA might be good? Gus Johnson, meanwhile, seemed not at all impressed in the Shoe. But most importantly, AJ offers us the big news of the week, introducing us to his new creation, The Fun Index, which should immediately become your way of scoreboard-watching – or maybe even literally watching, if you have YouTube TV – on college football weekends. We’re super stoked about this … and super proud of AJ’s work. It’s incredible, friends. Go check it out immediately. Visit thefunindex.com and start bookmarking teams. And then … we turn to Week 4, which is shaping up to be a very interesting week of football. AJ gets us started with his #GroupOfSixAfterDarkQuadBoxSelections: Friday: Army at Temple (4 ET Friday, ESPN): Why is this game at 4? Navy at UAB (7 ET, ESPN): Sure? Clemson at Cal (10:30 ET Friday, ESPN): Anyone seen Clemson’s offense? Noon-ish: Wake Forest at No. 16 Louisville (Noon ET, ESPN): The Cards are fun, y’all. UCLA at Maryland (1 ET, BTN): Let’s watch the Bruins play football! San Diego State at Toledo (Noon ET, CBSSN): Whatcha doing over there, Aztecs? Ball State at Kent State (Noon ET, ESPN+): Nothing better than two not-so-great MAC teams going at it. Afternoon: Boise State at Western Michigan (3:30 ET, ESPN2): Whatcha doing over there, Broncos? New Mexico at New Mexico State (3:30 ET, CBSSN): The Lobos are actually good. Vanderbilt at Auburn (4:15 ET, SECN): This is the good mess. Primetime: Arizona at Washington State (7:30 ET, CBS): The Pac-12 logo will be on the field. App State at NC State (7:30 ET, ESPNU): Yet another upset tummy game for the Pack. MTSU at Jacksonville State (7 ET, ESPN+): Middle. Let’s go! After Dark: UMass at Sacramento State (9 ET, ESPN+): West Coast MACtion! Also, talk to your kids about 4-0 UMass. Georgia Tech at Stanford (10:30 ET, ESPN): Nerds! Air Force at Nevada (10:30 ET, FS1): Air Force can run? Minnesota at Washington (11 ET, FOX): You don’t have to stay up for this one. Really. You don’t. Editor’s Note: If you’re wondering why some of those quadboxes lack four games … well, it’s because we forgot to do the Monster Energy Big 12 Golden Corral Buffet segment and went straight to our Large Young Man games of the week. We come back to this. Promise. As we said … it’s been a week. As for the Big Boy games … we have SIX ranked-on-ranked matchups and a mess of other intriguing games. Did we decide to cover them all? You betcha. No. 1 Texas at No. 14 Tennessee (Noon ET, ABC): Have you seen the Vols run game? It’s actually pretty good. And the Horns have been mid (we think we’re using that correctly?) defensively against the run so far this season. Also, Texas settled for a whole bunch of field goals last week against Meep. Good ol’ Rocky Top? We think so. Illinois at No. 7 Ohio State (Big Nude, FOX): Is Bert still annoying? Likely, yes. But we’re not sure that’s going to matter this go-round. No. 4 Ole Miss at No. 21 Florida (3:30 ET, ABC): The Gators are favored at home, which led to an amazing quote from Jon Sumrall. Seriously, though, is this a letdown game for Ole Miss? Perhaps. But stopping Trinidad Chambliss will be a tough ask for the Florida defense. Oklahoma at No. 2 Georgia (3:30 ET, ESPN): Uhh, Sooners? You there? We’re not so sure. Crappy’s writing them off … and the rest of us aren’t too far behind. No. 17 Iowa at No. 18 Michigan (3:30 ET, CBS): Bryce Underwood has been Bryce Underwhelming, and that Iowa defense looks as solid as ever. Hammer the under, punting is winning … you know the drill. And then, in the process of introducing No. 15 Utah at Iowa State (3:30 ET, FOX), we realize that we forgot to discuss the Monster Energy Big 12 Golden Corral Buffet, which officially opens this week. Here’s the menu for your enjoyment: Colorado at Baylor (Noon ET, ESPN2): Good for the Buffs, this game is not in a library! TCU at UCF (3:30 ET, FS1): Insert shoulder shrug emoji here. Kansas State at Cincinnati (7 ET, ESPN2): We get a sundae bar! This one’s extra tasty. Oklahoma State at West Virginia (7 ET, FS1): RichRod may be finding 2007 again. AJ then also realizes he failed to mention Hawaii at Wyoming (3 ET, God’s CW), so it gets a mention here, despite not being in the Monster Energy Big 12 or a Big Boy game. Have we mentioned that it’s been a week? Anyhow, back to the Big Boy games: Wisconsin at No. 13 Penn State (5 ET, Peacock): Weird start time. Weird streaming service. Weird start to the game? Carla thinks it could be an Uncomfortable Saturday Evening (in the first half). No. 23 Texas A&M at No. 10 LSU (7:30 ET, ABC): We’re calling this the “Licking Their Wounds” Bowl. The Aggies were lifeless in the third quarter against Kentucky. LSU started exceptionally slow against Ole Miss. But this is a Saturday night in Death Valley. Also, we take yet another sidetrack to be distracted by fullbacks. There are 16 of them currently in FBS, and Air Force has five on its roster. No surprise there. No. 20 Oregon at No. 12 USC (7:30 ET, NBC): Hey, USC? Whatcha doing letting Louisiana and Rutgers hang around like that? Meanwhile, Puddles is still recovering from his 546-pushup game last weekend. No. 19 Missouri at No. 24 Mississippi State (7:45 ET, SECN): Get ready to mute those TVs, kids! We’re officially on the Clanga train … at least for now. To wrap things up, Crappy shares Carnegie Mellon’s heartbreaking loss at Berry, and we give our honorable mentions to Robert Morris at Buffalo (3:30 ET, ESPN+) and Stonehill at Ohio (3:30 ET, ESPN+). With that, let’s watch some football together, friends. Cheers, yinz and y’all. We’ll see you back here again next week.

  5. Sep 17

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Confessions and Chaos Edition

    Hi, friends. You’ve found your way back to the Carla and Crappy Show, which this week starts with Crappy and AJ but without Carla … Crappy makes his college football confessions … AJ’s devising hexboxes, and then Carla shows up midway through the show and … well, yeah. It’s Week 3, and we’re fully embracing the chaos. Even when that means we’re wrong. Speaking of which, we were wrong a whole bunch last week, which the reading of last week’s show minutes verified. Missouri, Michigan, Oklahoma State, and Hawaii: We regret the errors. Kind of.  In other business, AJ explains the new MW+ streaming service while watching Hawaii be Hawaii again. Crappy recaps the Ohio comeback win in Athens in the rain (shirts optional), which was happening during the second half of that other game, which started incredibly well for the Buckeyes, but didn’t end that way. (Wait, did Crappy really offer a compliment to Arch? Did we hear that correctly? Chaos, indeed.) Oklahoma at Michigan was an overall frustrating experience … North Dakota State is, in fact, a menace … and App State is once again staking its claim as North Carolina’s team. And then, AJ gives us his list of games, which we’re now going to have to start calling the #GroupOfSixAfterDarkQuadBoxSpecial. Yep, it’s another week of a full quadbox (and even a hexbox!) schedule of games we all should be watching in every game window.  Noon-ish: Tulane at Kansas State (Noon ET, ESPN2): This is not the Tulane we used to know. Can we avoid getting sucked back into the Powercats? Arizona State at Kansas (Noon ET, FS1): A tasty appetizer on the Buffet.  North Texas at Texas State (Noon, USA): Watch AJ smile at a Fun Index of 63.5. Wyoming at Central Michigan (1 ET, ESPN+): And now for something completely different. How about a 39.5 AJFI? Woof. Lots of brown and yellow. NC State at Vanderbilt (12:45 ET, SECN): Interesting? Perhaps? Coastal Carolina at Delaware (11:30 ET, CBSSN): So. Many. Chickens. Afternoon: Miami (OH) at Cincinnati (3:30 ET, ESPN+): A fantastic rivalry that may be ending, yet not on national TV? Stanford at Duke (4 ET, CW): Nerds! Louisiana Tech at Baylor (4 ET, ESPNU): Bulldogs appear to be pesky. Kentucky at No. 9 Texas A&M (3:30 ET, ESPN): Cats were in it last week … for a half. Northern Iowa at No. 18 Iowa (4 ET, FS1): This game is occasionally fun. Duquesne at Washington State (3:30 ET, USA): What are you doing over there, Dukes? Primetime: Ohio at South Alabama (7 ET, ESPN+): The Bobcats have superpowers when playing at home, but this game’s in Mobile. North Dakota at Nebraska (7:15 ET, BTN): What are you doing, Huskers? West Virginia at No. 25 Virginia (7:30 ET, ACCN): It’s the John Denver Bowl, and Crappy can’t stop singing. Virginia Tech at Maryland (7:30 ET, FS1): Can James Franklin beat September Maryland? After Dark HEXBOX:  South Dakota at Boise State (10 ET, CBSSN): Again, Boise … a Dakota? Why? James Madison at San Diego State (10 ET, CW): This should be a fun one. North Dakota State at Sacramento State (10:30 ET, ESPN): Not an FCS game! Purdue at UCLA (11 ET, BTN): A low-key good one?  Montana at Oregon State (11 ET, USA): You didn’t have to do this either, Beavs. Fresno State at San Jose State (11 ET, FS1): Nice little rivalry game. Also, a giant V trophy! While AJ and Crappy are discussing tarot readings and higher powers, Carla enters the chat … and changes the subject to women’s basketball. But we all regroup and dig in together for this week’s Large Young Man games. Syracuse at Pitt (7:30 ET Thursday, ESPN): A Big East Thursday evening? Yes, please. We never know what to make of these two teams, and we likely still won’t after this game. But we like the home team. We think. No. 22 Houston at No. 13 Texas Tech (8 ET Friday, FOX): It’s only Week 3, but these teams have already have a common opponent in Oregon State. They both won, but with totally different vibes. Will the Buffet open early this season?  No. 16 SMU at No. 23 Louisville (3:30 ET Saturday, ESPN2): This one should be fun, kids. Both teams have defensive issues. We expect lots of points. Florida State at No. 10 Alabama (3:30 ET Saturday, ABC): Sorry, Noles. It’s probably going to be a long Saturday afternoon. Utah State at No. 17 Utah (3:30 ET Saturday, FOX): Have you watched the Utes? They’re running a two-QB backfield with some really wild formations and absolutely destroyed Woo Pig last week. Florida at Auburn (7 ET Saturday, ESPN): Are either of these teams going to be relevant in the SEC this year? Will this game help us sort that out? Who knows. We’re still just upset that this isn’t Florida/Tennessee week. No. 7 LSU at No. 8 Ole Miss (7:30 ET Saturday, ABC): Deep down in our hearts, we’re pulling for the home team. But Lane loves to play the super villain, and the Tiger defense should play a strong supporting role. No. 11 BYU at Colorado State (7:30 ET Saturday, CBS): Do the Rams have a chance? Ehh … we’re not sure. But they sure have started the season well under Jim Mora. Cougs are the pick here, though. Carla’s honorable mentions go to Buffalo at No. 14 Penn State (Noon ET, BTN) and Nevada at MTSU (7 ET, ESPN+), which, yes, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Carla will be in the broadcast booth with Jake Rose. Crappy, meanwhile, tells us about WR Brendan McCullough’s incredible day during Carnegie Mellon’s win last weekend at Catholic University in DC. Carnegie Mellon travels to DIII No. 15 Berry on Saturday. And AJ shares his meme, reposted by Fox Sports’ Petros Papadakis, which feels like an incredibly appropriate way to end this week. Enjoy the football this weekend, friends. We’ll see you back here again next week.

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Confessions and Chaos Edition

  6. Sep 9

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Poorly Designed Edition

    Well, friends, we did it. We survived Week 1. Unless you’re Clemson or Rutgers, that is. If you are … hoo, buddy. We’re sorry. We begin with our weekly review of the show minutes, and this week, they truly reveal just how wrong we were. (Oopsies, Oklahoma State.) Carla shares her adventures with three weather delays, a monsoon, and being stranded in the Floyd Stadium press box until 1 a.m. Sunday. We all discuss the space-time continuum and how, apparently, there are secret clocks in Ann Arbor … and a lack of actual graphic designers at Big Ten HQ in Indianapolis. Other thoughts and musings from Week 1: That was a heck of a tackle by Auburn to hang on over Baylor. SMU should have won by 30. So. Many. Mistakes. Could Louisville be a player in the ACC? We kind of hope so. Ohio managed to give Nebraska some early heartburn. Penn State and Ohio State did what they were expected to do (much to the relief of Carla and Crappy, respectively). Miami and LSU look terrifying. Indiana looks fine … and Curt Cignetti seems to have found himself another robot QB in Josh Hoover. But really, with all of the schadenfreude in Week 1, the thing we most want to draw attention to was the absolute perfection of Sean West’s punt against Notre Dame. Just give him the Ray Guy now. We salute you, sir. And then, it’s time to turn the page to Week 2. AJ kicks us off with his #GroupOfSixAfterDarkReport, this week, conveniently organized for your quadbox viewing pleasure. Washington State at Kansas State (Noon ET, TNT): Powercats at home. Wake Forest at Purdue (Noon ET, FS1): A battle between two of the creepiest mascots. USF at Army (Noon ET, CBSSN): The Fun Index is a proper 46.5. App State at East Carolina (Noon ET, ESPNU): Appy needs this win. Bad. Arizona at No. 15 BYU (3:30 ET, FOX): The Monster Energy Big 12 Hoss’s Salad Bar entry. Duke at Illinois (3:30 ET, FS1): Sure. UTSA at Texas State (3:30 ET, God’s CW): Meep is not as powerful on the road. UNLV at North Texas (3:30 ET, ESPNU): The Green felt green last week. Robert Morris at Akron (3:30 ET, ESPN+): Bonus pick! We hope Bobby Mo gets a pick-6 on Akron’s first drive. Memphis at Boise State (6 ET, USA): Get up for this one. AJ has declared it his game of the week. South Alabama at Tulane (7 ET, ESPN+): The battle for Mardi Gras. San Diego State at UCLA (7 ET, BTN): The newly dubbed California’s Team (TM) hosts the Aztecs. North Dakota State at Air Force (10 ET, FS1): Caffenate for this one, friends. Sacramento State at Fresno State (10:30 ET, CBSSN): The Bulldogs ain’t got time for this mess. Montana State at Nevada (10:30 ET, God’s CW): Shh. Pay attention to the Bobcats here. Louisiana at No. 14 USC (11 ET, BTN): A 60+ Fun Index after dark? Sign us up. Other noted games: Old Dominion at Virginia Tech (Noon ET, God’s CW): Can James Franklin stop the bleeding against the Monarchs? (A real thing.) Mississippi State at Minnesota (3:30 ET, CBS): Rowing the boat is hard with all that clanging. UCF at Pitt (3:30 ET, ESPN2): Pitt handled business last week. No. 13 Texas Tech at Oregon State (7:30 ET, CBS): If you’re looking for a prime-time alternative. And then, it’s time for the Big Boy slate. No. 23 Missouri at Kansas (8 ET Friday, FOX): We’re divided on the Border War, which is probably super appropriate. Carla takes the Tigers, who looked good with Austin Simmons last week. Crappy and AJ are on Rock Chalk, playing at home. No. 11 Oklahoma at Michigan (Big Nude, FOX): Umm, yeah. The Sooners are a bit tougher competition than a MAC team. (Sorry, Western.) Boomer. No. 6 Oregon at Oklahoma State (Noon ET, ESPN): The Ducks have something to prove … and the struggling Pokes will be on the receiving end of that effort. No. 12 Alabama at Kentucky (3:30 ET, ABC): A trap game for the Tide? Perhaps. But unlikely. A new coaching staff in Lexington has the Cats out of the mud. No. 18 Tennessee at Georgia Tech (7 ET, ESPN): The Wrambling Wreck looked a little wrecked in Week 1. Expect a heavy dose of Rocky Top in Atlanta. No. 1 Ohio State at No. 4 Texas (7:30 ET, ABC): Which team do we trust more at this point? That’s really the question here. And as our friend Jim has said for years … never trust a Manning. Iowa State at No. 21 Iowa (7:30 ET, NBC): We didn’t give this game our usual Cy-Hawk treatment out of respect for the University of Iowa Hawkeye Marching Band member who passed away this week. Our condolences are with you, and our hearts will all be in Iowa City on Saturday night. Arkansas at No. 20 Utah (10:15 ET, ESPN): An SEC team goes to Salt Lake for an after dark kick on Saturday night? (Also, we think we found who has the sock full of nickels.) We wrap things up with just our usual fandoms as honorable mentions: No. 16 Penn State at Temple (Noon ET, ESPN2), Carnegie Mellon at Catholic University (Noon ET, FLO College), Jacksonville State at Ohio (6 ET, ESPN+), and MTSU at Marshall (7 ET, ESPN+). And with that, we all sync our watches and get ready for what should be a great weekend of college football. Enjoy the games, and we’ll see you back here next week. Cheers, friends.

  7. Sep 2

    Carla and Crappy Show: The Five Days, a Nonet Box, and Barry White Edition

    It’s hard not to be romantic about the start of college football season. The pageantry. The tradition. The off-field antics stealing the headlines. Heck, even Bill Belichick appeared to emote in some way last Saturday in Ireland. And so here at the Carla and Crappy Show, we’re all in … so much so that we hired out the sultriest, most Barry White-esque voice we could think of to kick off Season 15. Or maybe it’s just Crappy with some substantial congestion. Either way … it’s time for five straight days of college football. Let the circus begin. After a review of last week’s show minutes, we reflect on what was an even-better-than-anticipated Week 0 of college football. Virginia appears to be good, Hawaii needs to pedal faster, and Florida State had a bad case of heartburn. Also, a friendly hello to Bill and Mary, who not only have a beautiful campus but also pulled off one of the greatest comebacks of all time over nationally ranked Villanova. Next up, we venture into the off-the-field headlines, including substantial schadenfreude between the SEC, LSU, and NFL players. (We’ll learn more about that before games kick off.) AJ introduces us to the world of futures markets (which, again, involves LSU because of course it does), and we all contemplate whether YouTubeTV’s new integration will allow for nonet boxes. Or maybe at least an octobox. We’ll report back next week. But then, friends, yes, it’s happening. (Insert teardrop here.) Let’s dive into a full slate of games. AJ starts us off with his #GroupOfSixAfterDarkReport, which is pretty spectacular for an opening weekend. UMass at Rutgers (6 ET Thursday, BTN): The absolute perfect game to start things off. Idaho at No. 21 Utah (9 ET Thursday, ESPNU): Do the Utes still possess a sock full of nickels? Coastal Carolina at West Virginia (Noon ET Saturday, TNT): Let’s watch Cam Cook! Miami (OH) at Pitt (12:30 ET Saturday, CW): Uh oh, Pitt. Why did you do this? Tulane at Duke (3:30 ET Saturday, ACCN): Consider us intrigued. South Dakota State at Northwestern (8 ET Saturday, BTN): Have we learned nothing? Don’t. Schedule. Dakotas. UNLV at Hawaii (10 ET Saturday, CW): One of these teams will be 0-2, which is absolutely wild. UCLA at Cal (10:30 ET Saturday, ESPN): The battle to be the official California university. We’re workshopping it. Western Kentucky at Nevada (10:30 ET Saturday, CBSSN): This has been a favorable matchup for CUSA teams historically, and the Toppers are favored in this one. And then, our first slate of “Big Boy” games, although we use that term a tad loosely. Hey, it’s Week 1. We can’t complain. Boise State at No. 2 Oregon (3:30 ET Saturday, CBS): The intrigue is high for this one. Is Boise the team we think they are? Heck, is Oregon the team we think they are? We’re all in consensus that this is a likely Ducks win at home. Oklahoma State at Tulsa (3:45 ET Saturday, ESPNU): North Texas cleverly disguised as Oklahoma State heads to Tulsa to seek revenge for last year’s loss, which cost Mike Gundy his job. Got all that? Clemson at No. 11 LSU (7:30 ET Saturday, ABC): Let the Death Valley circus begin. Dabo threw gasoline on the fire in his post-practice comments earlier this week. Who’s playing for LSU? We won’t know until the court decides on Thursday. But even with all the chaos, we still think LSU will somehow find a way to win at home. Have your popcorn ready. Western Michigan at No. 16 Michigan (7:30 ET Saturday, NBC): The Wolverines fell backward into one of the best coaching hires of the entire carousel. Now, Kyle Whittingham is where he’s always belonged, in the Big Ten. Western won the MAC last year, but there’s some rebuilding on the defensive side of the ball. Washington State at No. 17 Washington (4 ET Sunday, NBC): While we all agree that it’s a very good thing that an Apple Cup is being played this season, we’re very conflicted on when it should be. But this is a Husky win at home. Wisconsin vs. No. 4 Notre Dame (7:30 ET Sunday, NBC): If this game were being played 10 years ago, we’d be all in. Instead, Luke Fickell is fighting for his job, while the Irish may be starting a revenge tour. The margin of victory here could be consequential on many fronts. No. 24 Louisville vs. No. 9 Ole Miss (7:30 ET Sunday, ABC): This game is made more interesting by the neutral site placement in Nashville, which means the crowd will lean Cards. Ole Miss is likely the call in this one, though. No. 19 SMU at Florida State (7:30 ET Monday, ESPN): If New Mexico State can give you heartburn, that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the season. Also, a friendly reminder that this is a conference game. Our honorable mentions: Ohio at Nebraska (12 ET Saturday, FS1): Little Nude features Crappy’s Bobcats vs. the quantum quarterback, Anthony Colandrea. Ball State at No. 1 Ohio State (12:30 ET Saturday, BTN): We don’t have to tell you who picked this game. Carnegie Mellon at DIII No. 8 John Carroll (2 ET Saturday, Centennial Digital Network): The Tartans begin their 2026 campaign against some guy named John. Marshall at No. 18 Penn State (3:30 ET Saturday, FS1): Carla’s looking for a heartburn-free afternoon in Happy Valley. West Virginia State at Robert Morris (6 ET Saturday, ESPN+/Sportsnet Pittsburgh+): The home opener for Bob. Can the Colonials start 2-0? Murray State at MTSU (7 ET Saturday, ESPN+): Jake Rose is on the call, it’s a whiteout, and the Blue Raiders are wearing Dolly patches. Need we say more? Get this one in your nonet box. And with a final review of the slightly bizarre scheduling practices of Mercyhurst and Duquesne, we get Week 1 officially underway. Enjoy all five days of college football this weekend, boys and girls. Feel all of the feels. We’ll see you back here again next week to see just how wrong we were. Cheers, yinz and y’all.

  8. Aug 27

    Carla and Crappy Show: The 15 Years and Six Beers Edition

    Hi, friends. It’s time to dust off your remote controls, do a bit of stretching, grab your favorite Pop-Tarts snack of choice (or maybe a beer or six? … more on that in a bit), and lock in. College football is back, baby. Thus begins Season 15 of the Carla and Crappy Show. After discussing our own personal vices for getting through the extensive void of football in the offseason, Carla, Crappy, and AJ turn their attentions to some of the more intriguing and recent off-the-field developments. Why are conferences suddenly issuing statements about not accepting pro players? Wasn’t that already a thing? (Hint: It was … then it almost wasn’t … and now it seems it is again. Clear as mud.) And are the cookies crumbling around Kalani Sitake and BYU? (Editor’s note: We don’t condone searching for 247Cougs.) Next, as is tradition, all three of us release our way-too-early-to-know-anything-but-we-do-it-anyway 2026-27 College Football Playoff brackets. While there are many similarities between our team selections – and even some of our game matchups – remarkably, we come away with three completely different national champions. Which means that yes, at the end of the season, we’re going to find out just how wrong we were. And then, finally … we have actual games, friends. Some good ones, even. Let’s go. North Carolina vs. TCU (Noon ET, ESPN): Preseason camp has been absolute chaos at TCU, yet we all still think that the Horny Toads have the advantage over anything that’s happening at Carolina. San Jose State at No. 14 USC (3 ET, NBC): This is a good game for checking out the Trojans’ offense and defense. And that’s about it. Oh, AJ sends his “best wishes” to Luke Weaver. NC State at Virginia (3:30 ET, ESPN): It’s a ploy to get us all to watch ACC football! This game was originally scheduled to be in Brazil … but now it’s in Charlottesville. Not the same thing. Regardless, watching CJ Bailey and Beau Pribula go head-to-head could actually be an entertaining game. Other than the whole ACC thing. Jacksonville State at North Dakota State (5:30 ET, CBSSN): Welcome to FBS, North Dakota State. We’re all exceedingly pumped for this game. And we anticipate the crowd in the Fargodome will be as well. A Bison win? We certainly think so. Sacramento State at Eastern Michigan (6:30 ET, ESPN+): It’s Week 0 MACtion! Yes, really. Sacramento State is in the MAC. But unlike the aforementioned NDSU Bison, we don’t anticipate a similar warm FBS welcome from the folks in Ypsilanti. Hawaii at Stanford (7 ET, ACCN): Which is stronger: The effect of the mainland on Hawaii … or the Stanford Postulate? Is Hawaii really going to be the team of destiny this year? And why is this game on the ACC Network? (Reminder: Stanford’s still in the ACC. Because that’s normal.) Regardless of all of these questions, we’ve tallied this as our game of the week. Go get a big opening win, Bows. New Mexico State at Florida State (7 ET, CW): The Noles have had some interesting season openers as of late, and the Aggies have been known for knocking off P4 teams. However, there’s no Diego Pavia on the New Mexico State roster this year. (At least not that we know of?) But enjoy the win, Florida State. We anticipate a long road ahead. Memphis at UNLV (10 ET, FOX): The Fighting Mullens really seemed to be cooking towards the end of last season, and we think that momentum continues into early 2026. Let’s see what Memphis can throw at them. (Also, an After Dark in Week 0? The Football Gods are friendly to us.) Before we go, AJ and Carla offer some friendly housekeeping reminders on locating channels and integrating ESPN Unlimited features into YouTubeTV. This is the week to do those things, friends. We’ve got a big week ahead of us in Week 1. (Five. Days. Of. College. Football.) Crappy, meanwhile, introduces us to quite possibly this year’s best NIL deal, involving a volleyball player, Marquette … and beers. So, on that note, cheers, friends. It’s good to be back. It’s good for college football to be back. And we’re looking forward to a fantastic Season 15 together. We’ll see you (a tad early!) next week for Week 1.

    Carla and Crappy Show: The 15 Years and Six Beers Edition
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

A recovered sportswriter and a demented college football fan discuss the week’s best college football games -- and a few of the worst ones.

Information

  • Creator
    Carla Swank Fox and Uncle Crappy
  • Years Active
    2017 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2022 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Carla and Crappy Show

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