Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

Emma and Fin
  • 4.6 (282)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.  Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.

  1. 3H AGO

    Ep 434 - Bart

    We love getting to dig deep into the theory and psychology of human relating and relationships with therapists and it’s an extra special treat when the therapist is open to taking us behind the scenes of their own personal journey… That’s exactly what we get to do today with Bart! First, Bart brings us all the way back to his early childhood where he feels like he developed much earlier than his peers. Then he takes us through coming out at age 16, starting to explore non-monogamy in college, and ultimately landing in San Francisco where he continues to explore and discover what actually works for him in relationships. One thing we really love about this conversation is that Bart doesn’t just tell his story, he analyzes and philosophizes about it with us along the way. We also love that we’re never just talking about sexual or romantic partnerships with Bart, we’re talking about relationships of all kinds whether they’re sexual, platonic, friends, partners, or familial. Bart is an interpersonal psychotherapist based in San Francisco who works with individuals, couples, and polycules navigating non-traditional relationship structures. He developed Relational Capacity Therapy (RCT)—a framework that operationalizes Alfred Adler's Individual Psychology into five measurable capacities—and the Relational Maturity Index (RMI), a free assessment that helps people understand their relational patterns across different life contexts. You can learn more about Bart's therapeutic perspective and take the RMI at his website, InterpersonalPsychology.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 22m

  2. FEB 25

    Ep 433 - Cyndee + Mitch

    Cyndee and Mitch are former pastors who have been together for a very long time and officially opened their marriage in 2022… However, their journey towards opening up spans nearly their entire relationship as they spent decades together shifting their mindsets while deconstructing and reframing religion to get to where they are today. Cyndee and Mitch currently describe themselves as “swingers with a poly heart” or more generically just “open.” Their main focus in non-monogamy is on forming genuine friendships that don’t fit into any particular box. For them, it’s all about the people… And the travel! Join us for this wonderful conversation as Cyndee and Mitch take us behind the scenes of their relationship and journey to opening up. Mitch has been a coach and consultant in multiple industries for over 30 years and today he’s working as a relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. Expansive Connection offers mindfulness based coaching for individuals, couples, and more-somes that seek to better understand themselves and their relationships. You can learn more about Mitch’s work and Expansive Connection on their website.  Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 14m

  3. FEB 18

    Ep 432 - Sarah

    This beautiful interview with Sarah is a powerful reminder that we’re all imperfect humans out here trying to figure out life and who we are in a world that really wants to stuff us into boxes that we rarely, if ever, fit into. Sarah spent a majority of their twenties in a mostly monogamous, heterosexual relationship before realizing about nine months after getting married that they were gay. Today, Sarah is a queer, non-binary, polyamorous, relationship anarchist in their mid-thirties who continues to be on an incredible journey of self-discovery and exploration. The journey truly never ends and we’re honored to have Sarah share their story with us today. Besides being a badass in their personal life… Sarah is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who centers queer, neurodivergent, kinky, and non‑monogamous folks and also specializes in ketamine assisted therapy. You can learn more about Sarah and all of their incredible work on their website courageousyoutherapy.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 7m

  4. FEB 13

    Play as Resistance

    We're joined today by Gary Ware from Breakthrough Play and Jase Lindgren from Multiamory for an incredible conversation about how we can use play as a form of resistance and rest in a world where we often feel overwhelmed by the stress and pressure to be constantly "on" as we try to keep up. We're exhausted ourselves and can imagine many of you are, as well. This episode is full of fascinating research and personal stories, plus tools, tips, and tricks to help us all slow down a little. If you are looking for a permission slip to take a breath... Don't skip this conversation! If you're ready to take your resistance to the next level... Gary and Jase are co-hosting our upcoming in-person event May 1-3, 2026 called Relationship Recess! You can learn more and grab your tickets here! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 18m

  5. FEB 11

    Ep 431 - Joel

    Joel is in his mid-twenties and has been proudly and openly exploring his pansexuality, non-monogamy, and polyamory for the last few years. During this conversation he takes us through his incredibly powerful and traumatic coming out journey that began when he had to check himself into a psychiatric hospital during his time in the military after becoming suicidal due to the sexual abuse and trauma he experienced during his childhood. He decided that when he got out he was going to live his truth and he has done exactly that. Now, at age 26, Joel feels like he’s finally becoming the person he’s always wanted to be but never knew how to be.  During our interview Joel also takes us through his first ethically non-monogamous partnership, he talks about how he’s building his queer and poly community, and he sticks around to answer some juicy bonus questions! This conversation is so vulnerable, brave, and beautiful… We hope you’re as moved and inspired by it as we are. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 25m

  6. FEB 4

    Ep 430 - Crystal

    Crystal has been exploring non-monogamy for almost a decade and over the years she’s tried just about every flavor from swinging to non-hierarchical kitchen table poly, and beyond. Today, friendship is her primary motivation for exploring non-monogamy and she and her partner consider themselves to simply be “open.” Curious what she means by that…? Have a listen! Crystal comes from a heavy evangelical background and has been on a journey undoing the sexual shame and religious trauma through community, pleasure, non-monogamy, kink and also through her work as a queer, neurospicy sex and relationship therapist providing teletherapy to Maryland adults. She specializes in supporting LGBTQ+, consensually non-monogamous, and kink communities. Her clinical work focuses on sexual self acceptance and expression, religious trauma and purity culture recovery, and opening up or restructuring relationships.​ Learn more about Crystal and her work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 9m

  7. JAN 28

    Ep 429 - James

    James has been exploring non-monogamous relationships for over 17 years and has been a proud member of the kink scene for over 11. His journey has taken him around the world through many twists and turns, including a don't ask don't tell-type dynamic at the beginning, to exploring swinging and sex parties, non-hierarchical polyamory, and recently discovering his demisexuality. We dig into it all today in this wonderful interview! One of the things we absolutely love about this conversation with James is how transparent and vulnerable he is about everything he’s learned over the last 17 years, including how he hasn’t always done things in the most ethical way. But, like most of us, he’s always trying to learn and grow along the way. James is all about community and creating space for people to explore and discover their most authentic selves. He's the co-founder of the Festival Of Alternative Relationships (F.A.R.) and co-runs The Open Circle, Australia's largest community of people exploring ethical non-monogamy (ENM). He has lived experience in almost every form of ENM dynamic and has run workshops in ENM and Lifestyle Kink (D/s) in both London and Sydney. He also studied sex and relationship coaching at The Somatica Institute based in San Francisco. You can learn more about James and his work on his website. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    1h 16m

  8. JAN 23

    The Power of Play

    We are so excited about this conversation with Gary Ware that is all about the power of play in life and in relationships! Gary is co-hosting our upcoming in-person event May 1-3, 2026 called Relationship Recess! You can learn more and grab your tickets here! Gary is the Founder of Breakthrough Play, a corporate facilitator, keynote speaker, certified coach, and self-proclaimed Creative Catalyst. Gary has over 14 years of experience in the corporate world holding various leadership positions. Being a multifaceted individual Gary also comes with nearly a decade of experience as a performer in improv theatre. After experiencing burnout in his pursuit for success and happiness, he realized that what was missing was play. Committing to a life of play is what led Gary to discover his passion for facilitating. Gary uses the power of applied improvisation and other playful methods to assist people in unlocking creativity, confidence, and better communication. Gary was recently featured as one of the Top 100 HR influencers of 2021 by the Engagedly HR software platform. When Gary isn't leading workshops or speaking, you can find him learning magic or off on an adventure with his wife Courtney and son Garrett.   Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

    59 min
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About

Hi! We’re your hosts Emma and Fin! We’re a married couple in our late thirties and we’ve been exploring non-monogamy in different ways since nearly the beginning of our relationship more than twenty years ago. But, this podcast isn’t about us… We strongly believe there isn’t a “right way” to be non-monogamous or even that non-monogamy is better or more evolved than monogamy or any other relationship style. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship style to learn from their incredible and powerful personal stories.  Each episode is a unique perspective and personal story… Pick one that sounds interesting and give it a listen! We hope that by sharing the amazing journeys of those who are redefining and pushing the limits of what’s possible in relationships that we can show people that they’re not alone and inspire us all to embrace our true selves so that, together, we can open minds and live authentically without shame.

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