Pardon the Mess with Scarlet Hiltibidal - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Christian Parenting
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

  1. 1d ago

    A Bad Diagnosis & Letting Kids See Hard Things

    How do you talk to your kids about cancer, suffering, terminal illness, or the possibility of losing someone they love? Whether it's a grandparent's diagnosis, a chronic illness, a devastating loss, or another painful reality, there comes a moment when we realize we cannot protect our children from every hard thing this side of heaven. In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a deeply personal place as she reflects on her mother's battle with stage-four cancer and the challenges of helping her own children navigate grief, uncertainty, and difficult questions. How much do we tell our kids? Should they see us cry? How do we help them process suffering when we're still processing it ourselves? Together, we'll explore what Scripture teaches about suffering, why Christian hope is different from wishful thinking, and how parents can model faith in the middle of fear. Rather than shielding our children from every hardship, we have the opportunity to show them what it looks like to trust Jesus when life hurts. This conversation is ultimately about more than cancer. It's about helping our children discover that God's presence is real, His promises are trustworthy, and His love remains steadfast even when life feels fragile. Today's Scripture Focus: 2 Corinthians 4:16–18 "Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day..." Special thanks to Jennifer Sieber, who shared her own experience with this for this week's Messy Mom Moment! If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need hope today. Resources: Get to know Scarlet here Sign up for Morning Minute Hopeful-ish: Sadness, Weariness, Donkey Attacks, More Sadness, and Other Stuff You Need the Gospel For Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    34 min

  2. Jun 18

    I Don't Know How to Help My Kids Feel at Home When Home Keeps Changing

    How do we help our children navigate change when their hearts are breaking over what they're leaving behind? In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal shares from a lifetime of moving, from her childhood years spent relocating across the country to the many ministry moves she's made as a wife and mom. She explores the unique challenges of helping children process transitions, say goodbye to people and places they love, and learn to trust God in unfamiliar seasons. Drawing from personal stories of moving with young children, leaving beloved churches and communities, and helping her family build new lives in new places, Scarlet discusses the tension many parents feel: wanting their children to embrace what's ahead without minimizing the grief of what's being left behind. But this episode isn't ultimately about moving. It's about belonging. It's about helping our children understand that while homes, schools, churches, friendships, and circumstances may change, God never does. Through biblical examples like Abraham, Moses, Ruth, and the Israelites, Scarlet highlights a powerful theme woven throughout Scripture: God's people have always been travelers, strangers, and sojourners learning to trust Him in unfamiliar places. The Christian life has never been about finding perfect security in this world. It's about learning to anchor our hearts in the One who never changes. In this episode, Scarlet discusses: • How to help children grieve the people, places, and routines they love • Why grief is not evidence that a move or transition was a mistake • The tension of feeling both excitement and sadness during major life changes • Biblical examples of faithful people who followed God into the unknown • Why earthly homes, relationships, and comforts make poor ultimate foundations • How transitions reveal where we are placing our security and identity • Practical ways to help children build trust in God's faithfulness during uncertain seasons • How to cultivate gratitude for God's gifts without clinging too tightly to them Today's Scripture Focus: Hebrews 11:13–16 A special thank you to Caroline Downen who shared her own moving to Japan and back experience during the Messy Mom Moment! If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today. 00:00 Embracing Transitions: A Personal Journey 12:02 Navigating Grief and Change with Kids 17:50 Finding Home in a Changing World Resources: Get to know Scarlet here Sign up for Morning Minute Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    32 min

  3. Jun 11

    Loving Each of My Kids Well (When They All Need Something Different)

    How do you love your children well when every one of them seems to need something completely different from you? In this week's episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal explores one of the most common tensions in motherhood: the desire to make sure each child feels deeply loved, seen, and secure, even when their personalities, needs, struggles, and seasons of life look nothing alike. Drawing from her own experience parenting four very different children, including sharing the adoption story of her daughter Joy, Scarlet reflects on the unique challenges and unexpected gifts that come with loving children individually rather than identically. From navigating a wide age gap between siblings to understanding different temperaments, emotional needs, and life experiences, she discusses the pressure many moms feel to keep everything equal, and why equal isn't always the same as loving well. At the heart of this conversation is a beautiful gospel truth: God Himself does not interact with every one of His children in exactly the same way. Throughout Scripture, we see a God who knows people personally, pursues them individually, and meets them in the unique circumstances of their lives. He is not a generic Father offering generic love. He is a deeply personal God who sees, knows, and cares for each of His children completely. This episode is also a reminder that our children's deepest security will never come from having perfectly balanced parents or perfectly equal circumstances. Their security comes from knowing they are fully known and fully loved by God. While we will inevitably fall short, the good news of the gospel is that our children do not need perfect parents. They need parents who consistently point them to the only perfect Father. Today's Scripture Focus: Psalm 139 A special thank you to Scarlet's 13-year-old daughter, Joy, for joining this week's Messy Mom Moment. If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who may need this reminder today. 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 19:17 The Beauty of Individual Love in Family Dynamics 21:15 Understanding God's Personal Love for Us 23:32 Biblical Examples of Tailored Love 25:42 Practical Steps for Unique Parenting 27:30 Closing Thoughts and Encouragement Resources: Get to know Scarlet here Sign up for Morning Minute Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    28 min

  4. Jun 4

    I Keep Feeling Like I’m Failing My Kids

    It’s officially Scarlet Hiltibidal’s first episode as the new host of Pardon the Mess, and she’s kicking things off with a conversation every mom needs to hear. If you’ve ever laid in bed replaying your parenting failures, wondered if your bad moments are shaping your kids forever, or felt crushed under the pressure to “get motherhood right,” this episode is for you. Scarlet shares honest stories from her own home, the parenting advice that radically changed her perspective as a young mom, and the freeing truth that the gospel was never about pretending we’re perfect parents. It’s about pointing our children to a perfect Savior. She explores how our failures can actually become places where grace shines bright, why joy and peace in motherhood cannot be built on performance, and how repentance, humility, and dependence on Jesus create a healthier home than image management ever could. In this episode, Scarlet talks about: • Why motherhood often feels spiritually heavy and emotionally exhausting • The difference between parenting for performance versus parenting from grace • How our identity in Christ changes the way we respond to our failures • The beauty of apologizing to our kids and modeling repentance • Why children do not need flawless parents — they need parents who know Jesus • How the Holy Spirit empowers us to live with joy, peace, and dependence instead of striving • Practical ways to reset the tone of your home when everything feels chaotic This episode is a reminder that your worst moments are not the truest thing about you. Jesus is still present in the mess, still forming your children, and still offering grace for today. Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you exhale, laugh a little, and remember what matters most. Today's Scripture Focus: Romans 8:1-4 If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mom friend who needs some hope today. Special thanks to Michelle Glass who shared a beautiful testimony for this week's Messy Mom Moment! Resources: Get to know Scarlet here Afraid of All the Things Sign up for Morning Minute Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    32 min
  5. Trailer

    Trailer

    Trailer

    As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go. Pardon the Mess is part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit www.ChristianParenting.org. Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    2 min
  6. Meet your new host, Scarlet Hiltibidal!

    May 28

    Meet your new host, Scarlet Hiltibidal!

    Well, it’s a bittersweet day for me. I am delighted to introduce you to your NEW HOST of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal. This is my last episode as your host, and I am feeling all the emotions. I am grateful and sad and feeling so much peace. Thank you for letting me into your lives for a few years. I pray God encouraged you in your role as a Christian parent. A special thanks to Jill Jefferson, Steph Thurling, Jeannette Tapley and the entire team at Christian Parenting. I couldn’t have done it without you all. Today, you will get to know Scarlet and her family. She has a beautiful heart for the Lord and the imperfect journey of parenting. She is passionate about the gospel and has a new twist on the Thursday episodes. And great news - the Monday prayer episodes will be returning after the summer! Much love and gratitude, Courtney DeFeo  00:00 Introduction and Family Dynamics 03:03 Scarlet's Unique Childhood and Background 06:00 Transition to Writing and Parenting 08:57 The Journey to Becoming a Writer 11:55 Joining Christian Parenting and Future Plans 16:15 Navigating Parenting Challenges with Grace 21:13 Embracing Imperfection in Parenting 25:00 Finding Hope Amidst Struggles 30:32 Preparing for the Future of Parenting Podcast Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Scarlet Hiltibidal Connect with Courtney DeFeo Open a LearningRX center Summer Reading Picks Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Sign up for Morning Minute Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    40 min
  7. Week 38: Be sanctified - Jesus

    May 25

    Week 38: Be sanctified - Jesus

    Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2) All the people we have talked about this year are heroes of faith. Whether they were named or unnamed, their stories hold significance in God’s word, which is always worthy of our attention! As much as we want our kids to take on the characteristics of the people in this great cloud of witnesses, our primary desire is that our kids become like Jesus, our rabbi, friend, perfect king, and our Savior. We become more and more like Jesus as we spend more time with him. It’s the process of sanctification, or being made holy. We cannot be fully sanctified on this side of heaven, but the Holy Spirit does work within us as we surrender, obey, and return to him when we get it wrong. We are shaped to look more and more like Jesus. Our kids will make mistakes, struggle with sin, and face challenges. We all do; it’s part of living in a broken world. But as they become more like him, their responses to those things will change because becoming more like Jesus means choosing truth over lies, kindness over gossip, love over selfishness, and obedience over comfort. As we end this year of praying for our kids, let’s pray that our kids become like Jesus, that they live such a full life of faith that others will say, “They loved like Jesus loved.” Jesus, sanctify __________ through your Spirit. Shape their heart to reflect you in how they love, serve, follow, and obey. May they go to you every day and learn to talk with you and listen to your voice all day long. May they allow you to help them be more like you every day so that your light shines through them. Amen. Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    11 min
  8. When decisions are tough with Megan Jones

    May 21

    When decisions are tough with Megan Jones

    Big decisions in motherhood often come with uncertainty—especially when it comes to balancing family, work, calling, and the many demands on our time. In this episode, the tables are turned as Megan Jones interviews Courtney about her decision to step away as host of Pardon the Mess. The conversation explores the tension many moms feel when navigating career decisions, learning when to say yes or no, and discerning God’s direction in changing seasons. Together, they talk honestly about the twists and turns that can come with work and motherhood, the challenge of trusting God with the unknown, and the importance of following his leading even when the path forward isn’t fully clear. This episode is a thoughtful encouragement for anyone walking through a season of transition or making difficult decisions for themselves or their family. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction and Background 02:59 The Importance of Mentorship 05:56 Navigating Change and Transitions 12:08 Finding Purpose in Parenting 17:59 Reflections on Priorities and Regrets 18:48 Psst — we may have hidden a little surprise in this episode 🎉 In case you can't wait until May 28th to meet your new host! 23:56 Looking Ahead: Future Plans and Encouragement Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Megan Open a LearningRX center Summer Reading Picks Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Sign up for Morning Minute Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    29 min
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Pardon the Mess is a podcast for Christian moms who love Jesus, love their kids, and still feel behind on most days. Each week, host Scarlet takes one real parenting mess (morning meltdowns, discipline guilt, raising kind kids in a world that doesn't feel kind) and untangles it with honesty and grace, one small, faithful step at a time. No five-step systems. No longer to-do lists. Just clarity about what matters most and permission to let the rest go. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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