40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

Rick Clemons
  • 4.5 (100)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!

  1. 4D AGO

    Can You Still Get Hard After 40? Shay Doran on Performance Anxiety for Gay Men

    Many gay men over 40 quietly panic when sex stops working the way it used to. Erections feel unpredictable. Anxiety creeps in. Porn, media, and aging myths make it worse. Men’s coach Shay Doran brings a grounded, no nonsense perspective to performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, stress, medication side effects, and the emotional pressure gay men carry into the bedroom. This conversation reframes sexual performance as a whole life issue, not a broken body problem. When stress, self worth, and identity are addressed, desire and connection often follow. The episode challenges shame based thinking and replaces it with curiosity, honesty, and a better understanding of sex after 40. Key Takeaways from the Podcast: Why performance anxiety is often a stress response, not a sexual failureHow porn and cultural expectations distort confidence for gay men over 40What actually helps rebuild intimacy, trust, and desire without shame About Shay Shay Doran is a men’s coach, specializing in helping men fix erection problems & performance anxiety. After experiencing this himself, Shay has now helped men around the world overcome erection problems & feel normal again. Connect With Shay Website YouTube Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    46 min

  2. JAN 30

    Gay or Straight, Same Relationship Struggles: Attachment, Boundaries, and Starting Over with Ralph Brewer

    In this powerful midlife conversation, Ralph Brewer, author of Rebuild: The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man,  unpacks the universal relationship challenges men face, gay or straight. From anxious attachment and dead bedrooms to boundaries, neurodivergence, and long-term monogamy, this episode reveals how male relationship patterns cross orientation lines. Ralph shares his journey from heterosexual marriage and divorce to becoming a leading voice in men’s relationship coaching, while Rick connects these insights directly to gay men navigating midlife transitions. This episode is a must-listen for men ready to rebuild relationships with clarity, self-awareness, and support. Key take aways from this episode Attachment styles, especially anxious attachment, and how it impacts gay and straight men in nearly identical ways.Boundaries aren’t about control; they’re about self-respect and emotional safety.Community and honest self-reflection are essential tools for rebuilding relationships after loss, divorce, or identity shifts. About Ralph Ralph Brewer is the author of REBUILD – The Complete Guide to Starting Over as a Man, The Dead Bedroom Fix, Divorce Panic, Red Flags, and Real Talk: No Bullsh*t Life Advice for Young Men. His work has been read and listened to by hundreds of thousands of men around the world. Through his writing, podcast, and global men’s community, Ralph has become one of the most trusted voices helping men navigate the modern landscape of relationships, masculinity, and personal transformation. Ralph’s journey started the hard way. After going through a painful divorce and personal collapse more than a decade ago, he found himself questioning everything — his role as a man, a father, and a partner. What began as his own process of rebuilding evolved into an international movement. Today, his message reaches hundreds of thousands of men each week through his books, videos, and the growing Help For Men organization. Connect With Ralph Website Instagram Facebook Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    41 min

  3. JAN 23

    The Art of Male Boudoir: Confidence, Intimacy & Body Liberation with Photographer Trey Fox

    In this bold and eye-opening episode, I sit down with male boudoir photographer Trey Fox to explore how intimate portraiture helps men reclaim confidence, reconnect with their bodies, and see themselves through a more empowered lens. Trey shares the artistry and psychology behind photographing men—from building trust and consent to creating a safe, shame-free environment for vulnerability and expression. During this episode we explore the misconceptions surrounding erotic photography, the emotional transformations clients experience, and the challenges of navigating this profession while in a relationship. Whether you’re curious about male boudoir, body positivity, or redefining masculinity, this episode offers a candid and inspiring look inside Trey's world. Key take aways from this episode Explore how photography can be healing. Trey’s male boudoir sessions help men confront insecurities, reclaim self-worth, and see themselves with fresh eyes.Learn why trust is everything. Building safety, clarity, and consent is essential for intimate portraiture, and it transforms the entire experience.Discover why masculinity is evolving, and how more men are seeking spaces to express vulnerability, sensuality, and authenticity without judgment. About Trey Trey Fox is a full-time professional photographer specializing in intimate, transformative portraits for men. Over the past two decades, his distinctive approach has helped clients embrace their sensuality and sexuality, seeing themselves not just through their own eyes, but as others truly see them. The experience goes far beyond creating beautiful photographs. Many clients walk away with a renewed sense of confidence and a deeper connection to themselves - one that lingers long after the camera is put away. Because of his deep respect for discretion and privacy, Trey has been entrusted by a wide range of men- from corporate executives and public figures to everyday guys - to create striking, one-of-a-kind portraits in extraordinary locations across the country and abroad. Connect With Trey Website Instagram Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    45 min

  4. JAN 16

    Glowing Up Gay: A Late-Life Coming Out, Authenticity Story with Peter Leahy

    In this episode, author Peter Leahy shares his powerful late-life coming out story towards true authenticity. In this episode we explore what it means to shed old personas, embrace your identity at any age, and rewrite the stories you once hid behind. From navigating professional masks to discovering emotional freedom through writing, Peter’s memoir Glowing Up Gay has resonated with thousands for its raw honesty and relatable truth. Whether you’re coming out later in life or reclaiming parts of yourself you’ve long avoided, this episode is a bold reminder that it’s never too late to become who you really are. Key take aways from this episode Authenticity isn’t immediate—it’s practiced. Coming out later in life often means unlearning years of hiding and slowly stepping into wholeness.Labels can connect or confine. Understanding LGBTQ+ language helps people find belonging while honoring their own identity.Your story matters. Writing, sharing, or even speaking your truth can create healing and inspire others on their own journey. About Peter A self-proclaimed “ideas guy,” Peter worked in marketing for over twenty-five years. For many years, he saw himself as a coward – too scared to admit that he was gay and embrace who hewas. Throughout his 20’s and 30’s, his active life was masked with what he believed was “normalcy,” but underneath it he was tormented by sadness, emptiness and most importantly, self-loathing, Finally, he summoned the courage to walk away and eventually become a proud (and fabulous) gay man. Now happily married to his husband for over five years, he lives in California with our Chihuahua Zoey, the queen of our household. Connect With Peter Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Don't Forget! Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community

    40 min

  5. JAN 9

    From Rock Bottom to Reinvention: Late-Life Gay Awakening & Recovery with David Osterman

    In this powerful episode, David Osterman shares his journey from late-life self-discovery to addiction recovery that is nothing short of extraordinary. David opens up about coming out in his 40s, surviving meth addiction, rebuilding after a life-threatening fall, and finding purpose as a coach for gay men seeking confidence, clarity, and truth. Together, we dive into identity, resilience, executive-level marketing strategies, and the courage required to rebuild your life from the inside out. If you’re navigating reinvention, queer identity, or recovery, this episode hits deep. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: Why your truth always wins, even when it is painfulHow recovery transforms you and creates space for rebirth and reinvention.Discover how confidence is a strategy that manygay men are missing to thrive  About David David Osterman is a proud father of three and a survivor of life’s toughest challenges. After struggling with addiction and surviving a near-fatal fall from a third story building during his meth use, David spent four months in the hospital recovering from broken feet and a back injury, learning to walk again. Now one year sober and thriving, he came out at the age of 42 and has embraced his journey of self-discovery and transformation. As an aspiring gay life coach and certified NLP practitioner, David looks help men over 45 navigate late-in-life awakenings, overcome personal obstacles, and embrace their authentic selves. He has been featured on podcasts sharing his story of resilience, courage, and transformation, proving it’s never too late to rebuild and thrive. Connect With David Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

    37 min

  6. JAN 2

    Lonely, Sober, and Still Searching: How Gay Men Build Real Connection Without Losing Themselves – Christopher Tompkins

    Loneliness is one of the most unspoken struggles among gay men, especially as we age, get sober, or outgrow old social circles. In this powerful conversation, licensed therapist Chris Tompkins unpacks why so many gay men feel disconnected even when surrounded by people, apps, and nightlife. This episode explores how sobriety, shame, dating apps, and societal expectations quietly fuel isolation, and what it actually takes to build authentic connection. From the “wounded healer” journey to embracing singleness, self-acceptance, and values-based living, this episode invites gay men to stop chasing validation and start creating lives rooted in truth, alignment, and meaningful connection. Three Key Takeaways Loneliness isn’t a personal failure, it’s often a byproduct of disconnection from self.Sobriety can reveal who and what is genuinely aligned in your life.Real connection begins when your values, actions, and identity are congruent. About Christopher Chris Tompkins is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who specializes in working with adult gay men. He is also the author of the award-winning book Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground. In addition to being a therapist, Chris is a writer and public speaker. His work has been featured on TEDx, NBC, HuffPost, Psychology Today, The Advocate, and more. Connect With Christopher Website Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

    41 min

  7. 12/26/2025

    Black Queer Dance, Masculinity & The Politics of Passing – Dr. Mark Broomfield

    In this intriguing episode, Dr. Mark Broomfield, author of Black Queer Dance, Gay Men and the Politics of Passing for Almost Straight,  explores the complex intersections of race, queerness, masculinity, and identity. It's a deep dive into the realities queer men of color face in dance, performance spaces, academia, and everyday life, including the pressure to “pass,” racial surveillance, and the politics of being “almost straight.” Mark and Rick share deeply personal stories that reveal how culture shapes expression, safety, and authenticity. This conversation shines a critical light on representation, lived experience, and what it truly means to embody queer identity in a racialized world. Key take aways from this episode Learn the cultural pressures Black queer men face around masculinity, performance, and the expectation to “pass” in different social environments.Discover how identity is strategically navigated, sometimes for safety and sometimes for self-preservation, especially for queer men of color.Learn why representation in dance and performance matters, and how history, stereotypes, and lived experience shape the queer Black artistic journey. About Mark Mark Broomfield, Associate Professor of English, Founder and Director of Performance as Social Change at SUNY Geneseo, holds a PhD in Critical Dance Studies from the University of California, Riverside, and an MFA from the University of Michigan, is a London-born award-winning scholar, artist, and performer of Jamaican heritage. His book Black Queer Dance: Gay Men and the Politics of Passing for Almost Straight, is a groundbreaking exploration of black masculinity and sexual passing in American contemporary dance that examines core themes about the freedom of movement, freedom of expression, and sexual freedom and what they reveal about how we all move through the world. Watch for Broomfield’s soon to be released Danced Out documentary. Connect With Mark Website Instagram Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

    48 min

  8. 12/19/2025

    Why Queer History Matters: Preserving Pride, Power, and Our Stories – Adrian Cardwell

    In this powerful episode, LGBTQ+ historian and collector Adrian Cardwell shares how his project, Badge of Pride, is preserving 30 years of queer history to ensure our stories are never forgotten. From the AIDS crisis to modern-day equality movements, Adrian’s journey reminds us that visibility, unity, and storytelling are the backbone of our community’s strength. We explore what it means to protect queer archives, how personal stories shape collective progress, and why showing up—especially in politically divisive times—matters more than ever. Our stories aren’t just history—they’re our legacy, our power, and our connection to each other. 3 Key Takeaways From This Episode: How storytelling and archiving protect LGBTQ+ legacy and visibility. The role of Badge of Pride in connecting and empowering queer communities. Why unity and solidarity are vital to progress in challenging political times. About Adrian Adrian Cardwell is the founder and executive director of Badge Of Pride, an organization dedicated to activating LGBTQ+ history through artifacts and storytelling. For more than 30 years, Adrian has been building a nationally significant collection of Queer history—over 10,000 artifacts—through relationships with LGBTQ+ activists and communities around the world. After a more than 25-year career in corporate leadership, directing national sales and marketing for a global telecommunications firm and serving on international committees to expand broadband access in underserved and conflict-affected regions, Adrian pivoted in 2022 to launch Badge Of Pride. His goal: to bring this collection out of the shadows and into public spaces as a tool for truth-telling, resistance, and connection. He is the curator of Badge Of Pride: From Silence…To Celebration!, the largest artifact-centered exhibition of LGBTQ+ history ever presented in Texas, and a bold counterpoint to today’s climate of censorship and cultural erasure. Connect With Adrian Website Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk, monthly chats. They happen the third Monday of each month at 5:00 pm Pacific - Learn More! Also, join our Facebook Community - 40 Plus: Gay Men, Gay Talk Community Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies

    41 min
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4.5
out of 5
100 Ratings

About

Welcome to the only podcast exploring the messiness, awesomeness, of masculinity of being a gay man over 40. Each episode is about sparking idea, addressing challenges, and diving deep into what it looks like to be a vulnerable gay guy. We talk about the stuff us gay guys have a hard time talking about, man-to-man: masculinity, sex, careers, our bodies, parenting, sexuality, failures, success, and aging, relationships, coming out - nothing is off limits. 40 Plus: Gay Men Gay Talk is the revamped version of 40 Plus: Real Men. Real Talk podcast and is a short format podcast that's easy to digest. We take deep dives - one topic at a time - digging up the truth of what it’s like to be a gay man, instead of some contrived expectation of masculinity. We’re reclaiming manhood and our masculinity by facing our fears, making bold moves, and living life without apologies. Join us, but you've got to drop your BS, forget posturing, and be ready to explore the comical dysfunctions of our lives as gay men 40+ years of age!

Information

  • Creator
    Rick Clemons
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    300
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 Rick Clemons
  • Show Website
    40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.

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