Sex, Here & Now

sexhereandnow
  • 5.0 (17)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Sex, Here & Now is a podcast rooted in sex positivity, inclusivity, and honest conversations about the realities of sex and modern relationships. The goal is simple: to inform, to educate, and to clear up the misconceptions that continue to dominate our culture about intimacy and relationships. We live in a world that is still wildly sex negative, shaped by shame, purity culture, misinformation, and outdated scripts about what intimacy “should” look like. This podcast exists to challenge that. I want to create a space where we can talk openly about desire, communication, consent, kink, monogamy, non-monogamy, pleasure, dysfunction, body image, and everything in between without judgment. By highlighting diverse voices, challenging myths, and nurturing open dialogue, my hope is to show that sex does not have to be scary and we can, in fact, have a more sex positive culture.

  1. 3D AGO

    Matt's Musings: Please, Let Them Reject You!

    This episode is for anyone who has ever felt the sting of rejection and wondered what it says about them. I get real about my own experiences, from the subtle brush offs to the more obvious hits, and how those moments can stick with us longer than we would like. Here is the shift I want you to take with you. Rejection is not a verdict on your worth, it is information. It is clarity. It shows you where you do not fit so you can stop trying to force yourself into spaces that were never meant for you. We talk about the trap of chasing validation, the fantasy that if someone just gets to know you they will change their mind, and why that mindset keeps you stuck. Then we move into something more grounded. Confidence that comes from within. The belief that you deserve to be here just as much as anyone else. This is about letting people opt out, so the right people can opt in. It may still sting, that part is human, but it does not get to define you. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    6 min

  2. 6D AGO

    Expert on Expert: Victoria Byler Helping Men Relearn Masculinity

    I sat down with Victoria Byler, LPCC, owner of Revive Counseling, for a conversation that feels especially important right now. We dive into men, masculinity, and what it actually means to show up emotionally in a world that often teaches men to shut parts of themselves down. We talk about how shame shapes male identity, why vulnerability can feel so threatening, and what therapy looks like when men are finally given permission to feel instead of perform. This episode explores the pressures men face, the misconceptions around masculinity, and how emotional connection is not a weakness but growth. Whether you are a man trying to understand yourself better, someone who loves a man, or a clinician wanting deeper insight into working with male clients, this conversation opens the door to curiosity, compassion, and honest reflection. You can find Victoria on Instagram @revive_with_v Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    35 min

  3. MAY 15

    Matt's Musings: Your Friends Don't Know What's Best For You

    This episode might feel like a bit of a bait and switch, but stick with me. Your friends are great. They love you, support you, hype you up, and probably have way too many stories about your past that they love bringing up at the worst times. There is real connection there, and a lot of vulnerability. But here is the question we are exploring today, should they be your go to source for advice about sex and relationships? In this episode, we unpack how all of us were raised in a sex negative culture and how that shapes the advice we give and receive. Just because someone is confident or experienced does not mean they are informed. A lot of what gets passed around as “advice” is actually rooted in hurt, bias, or a few past experiences that turned into rigid rules. This is not about cutting your friends out. It is about getting more intentional with whose voice you give authority to when it comes to your body, your boundaries, and your relationships. We talk about how to stay grounded in your own values, how to get curious about where advice is coming from, and how to move away from inherited scripts so you can build something that actually works for you. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    5 min

  4. MAY 12

    When Sex Feels Out of Control

    Today’s episode dives into one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics I get asked about all the time, sex addiction. Or maybe more accurately, what people think sex addiction is. We are breaking down why the term is not officially recognized in the DSM-5, what clinicians actually look for when someone feels out of control, and why frequency alone is not the right question to be asking. If you have ever wondered, “Am I addicted to porn?” or “Is something wrong with me for thinking about sex this much?” this episode is for you. We explore the difference between behavior and function, how shame plays a massive role in how people interpret their sexuality, and why labeling something as an addiction can sometimes shut down curiosity instead of creating understanding. This is not about minimizing struggle. There are absolutely people who feel stuck in patterns that feel compulsive and distressing. But the goal is not to pathologize sexuality. The goal is to understand it. If you are questioning your relationship with sex, this episode will help you slow things down, get curious, and start asking better questions. You are not broken. You are human. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    7 min

  5. MAY 5

    Listener Questions: Why Do Men Suck?

    Today’s episode is a fun one. I am answering listener questions that range from how I got started as a sex therapist all the way to the bold question, why do men suck. We get into what I actually love about this work, including why spreading sex positivity continues to be at the core of everything I do, even with all the different roles that come with running a private practice. I also share a bit about my path into the field, from early experiences to burnout and eventually finding my way into sex therapy through AASECT. We talk about frustrations in the field, both the real ones like billing and the bigger cultural challenges around how we view sex, relationships, and autonomy. There is also a deeper conversation about the messaging boys grow up with and how that shapes men, relationships, and emotional connection. To wrap it up, I answer a really relatable question about feeling frustrated when a partner is always on their phone and what might actually be underneath that feeling. As always, this episode is about curiosity, reflection, and building more awareness in our relationships. If you want to submit a question for a future episode, head over to sexhereandnow.com/home and ask away. Resources If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    9 min

  6. MAY 1

    Matt's Musings: Just Get Pegged Already!

    In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt dives into a topic that still makes a lot of people uncomfortable to even think about, pegging. Not just what it is, but why so many people are curious about it and what that curiosity actually means. This is not about pressure or pushing anyone to try something they are not interested in. This is about understanding your body, challenging outdated ideas about masculinity, and learning how to have honest conversations about sex with your partner. Matt walks through where this curiosity comes from, why it has nothing to do with sexual orientation, and how to explore it in a way that feels safe, grounded, and connected. If you have ever been curious but nervous to bring it up, or if you are trying to better understand your partner, this episode is for you.   If you’re looking for a high-quality lubricant that actually enhances the experience instead of distracting from it, I’ve got you covered. 👉 Click here to try Überlube When you use that link, you’ll receive a Free Überlube Sachet added to your order (U.S. only). Using the link also helps support the podcast, so it’s a win-win. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    7 min

  7. APR 28

    The One Activity All Couples Need To Do

    What if one simple exercise could completely change how you understand your sexuality and communicate your desires? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I break down one of the most foundational tools I use with clients and one that I believe everyone should try: the Yes, No, Maybe list. This deceptively simple exercise helps you explore your sexual interests, boundaries, curiosities, and limits by sorting experiences into three categories. While it sounds straightforward, the impact can be profound. The Yes, No, Maybe framework builds sexual self awareness, reduces shame, and creates a shared language for consent and communication in relationships. I walk you through how the exercise works, why “I don’t know” is actually a valid and important answer, and how this practice helps individuals and couples move away from guessing and toward clarity. We also talk about how mismatched desires are not relationship failures, how curiosity strengthens intimacy, and why consent is something that evolves over time rather than something decided once. Whether you are single, partnered, monogamous, or non monogamous, this episode offers a practical way to better understand your erotic map and build more honest, sustainable sexual connections. Grab a pen, open your notes app, and get ready to learn something new about yourself. Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    14 min

  8. APR 21

    Expert on Expert: Julie Labanz Breaks Down The Harm of Purity Culture

    On this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I sit down with my colleague and friend Julie Labanz for a conversation that feels both overdue and incredibly necessary. We dive into the lasting impact of purity culture and how so many of us are still untangling the messages we absorbed about sex, worth, shame, and “goodness.” Even if you did not grow up in a religious household, purity culture has shaped the air we breathe. It influences how we talk about bodies, how we experience desire, and how we respond to pleasure. Julie and I explore how these early scripts follow people into adulthood and into their relationships, often without them even realizing it. From there, we shift into a topic that shows up in almost every long term partnership: desire discrepancy. What happens when one partner wants sex more often than the other? How do we talk about it without turning it into a scoreboard? We unpack the myths that tell us mismatched desire means something is broken and instead offer a more grounded, compassionate framework. This episode is honest, practical, and rooted in the work we both do every day with clients. If you have ever struggled with shame around sex or felt confused by shifting levels of desire in your relationship, this conversation is for you. As always, stay curious. You can find Julie on Instagram @beknowntherapy Are you a healthcare professional or mental health therapist and looking for sex therapy continuing education? Get 10% of your first course here by using code podcast10 A list of sex education, sex therapy, and relationship resources here Sign up for my online class here You can now watch the full video podcast on YouTube! Let's get social: Website / Instagram / YouTube Please make sure to subscribe and rate my podcast!

    39 min
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5
out of 5
17 Ratings

About

Sex, Here & Now is a podcast rooted in sex positivity, inclusivity, and honest conversations about the realities of sex and modern relationships. The goal is simple: to inform, to educate, and to clear up the misconceptions that continue to dominate our culture about intimacy and relationships. We live in a world that is still wildly sex negative, shaped by shame, purity culture, misinformation, and outdated scripts about what intimacy “should” look like. This podcast exists to challenge that. I want to create a space where we can talk openly about desire, communication, consent, kink, monogamy, non-monogamy, pleasure, dysfunction, body image, and everything in between without judgment. By highlighting diverse voices, challenging myths, and nurturing open dialogue, my hope is to show that sex does not have to be scary and we can, in fact, have a more sex positive culture.

Information

  • Creator
    sexhereandnow
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2026
  • Episodes
    49
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2019 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Sex, Here & Now