Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Marcy Larson, MD
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When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.

  1. 3D AGO

    Episode 342: Still Standing - Jake's Mom

    Before Angie lost her son Jake, she used to say something that I think many of us have said — or at least thought. If something ever happened to Jake, you would just have to bury me with him. Period. End of discussion. There was no way. And then the unthinkable happened. Jake was Angie's only child, her greatest surprise and her greatest blessing. Born in August of 1995, he grew up to be a man of quiet, steady faith — the kind that didn't ask for recognition, that just lived itself out in the way he treated people, the way he loved his wife Hannah, the way he'd get genuinely excited talking about heaven. He loved the outdoors, he loved to hunt and fish, and Angie always called him her simple man. In fact, when he got married in 2020, their mother-son dance was to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." On March 8th, 2023, Jake was on his way to work when he was killed in a car accident. He was twenty-seven years old, just two years into his marriage, and days away from closing on the house he and Hannah had planned and saved for together. Now, three years later, Angie is still here. Not because it has been easy. Not because the grief has softened into something manageable. But because one foot in front of the other, one whispered Jesus at a time, God has held her up when she was sure she could not stand. In this conversation, Angie speaks honestly about what these three years have looked like. The shock that she now understands as a mercy from God. The struggle to pray when the words just wouldn't come. The Bible study group of bereaved moms that has become her lifeline. The therapist who told her that one of the ways she could honor Jake was to lean into Jesus, because that was Jake. And how after he said it, she started hearing it everywhere. Lean in. Lean in. Lean in. This is an episode about surviving what you were sure would kill you. About faith that isn't tidy or triumphant, but shows up anyway, kicking and screaming sometimes, and keeps going. If you have ever said there is no way I could survive this, this episode is for you. Here is Angie, three years in, still standing.

    1h 1m

  2. MAR 26

    Episode 341: Still His Mama - Raiden's Mom

    When Samantha first came on this podcast in Episode 282, she was only a few months out from losing Raiden. She was raw and fresh in her grief — and yet even then, just four months into her loss, she reached out to ask me about Andy. She stepped outside her own pain to offer comfort to someone further down the road. I knew then that she was someone special. Fourteen months later, she is back. And the question that quietly runs through everything she shares is one that every grieving parent eventually faces: How do I keep being my child's mama when my child is gone? For Samantha, the answer has taken the shape of bubbles. Raiden loved bubbles the way only a little boy can — rain or shine, indoors or out, in the bathtub, in the yard, anywhere and everywhere. That love became the name and the heart of the Raiden Bubble Project, a space Samantha built out of the sudden quiet of life after losing her only child. What started as something to focus on grew into water safety advocacy, autism awareness, and a community where other lost moms feel safe enough to reach out. Her own therapist tells her she has learned things from following along. Mothers she has never met write to thank her. Lost mamas find their way to her, and she holds space for them. She also created the Little Love Lost Mamas, a small close circle of moms who have become like family. And she has been working to bring a memorial arch to her community, a place where anyone can come, padlock the name of someone they love, and know they are not alone. Every single thing she has built is her still parenting Raiden. We also talk about the new baby boy arriving soon, Ryatt. Samantha is clear about something that I think many people need to hear: Ryatt is not a replacement for Raiden. He is someone she gets to share Raiden with. That is the kind of love that doesn't end when a life does. It just finds new ways to live on — in bubbles, in community, and in the quiet, faithful work of a mama who never stopped.

    58 min

  3. MAR 19

    Episode 340: Thankful In, Not For - Mikael's Mom

    In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, I sit down with Leanne, Mikael's mom, for an honest and heartfelt conversation about grief, faith, and life after losing a child to addiction. At the center of this episode is a powerful shift in perspective. After her son's death, Leanne struggled with the words "give thanks in all circumstances." But when reading the words more carefully, she noticed a subtle difference that shifted her understanding. She began to see the difference between being thankful for her circumstances and being thankful in them. Leanne shares her experience loving her son through addiction, the heartbreak of loss, and the reality of grieving a child. She speaks about the tension between faith and pain, and how grief becomes something that stays, rather than something to overcome. In this episode, we talk about: Child loss and grief after addiction and overdose The meaning of "thankful in, not for" Grief as an ongoing presence in daily life Faith, anger, and healing after loss Writing and poetry as tools for processing grief Leanne also shares about her new book, Tattered Hearts and Hopeful Souls, a collection of devotional reflections and poetry that explores grief, faith, and healing. Her writing offers comfort and language for bereaved parents navigating life after loss. This episode is a reminder that grief does not disappear. But over time, we can learn how to carry it. And even in the hardest circumstances, there can still be moments of meaning, connection, and quiet gratitude.

    53 min

  4. MAR 12

    Episode 339: 8:15 - The Moment Everything Changed - Chantal's Parents

    In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, Marcy speaks with Jean and Shelly about the loss of their daughter, Chantal, and the grief journey that followed after losing a child to cancer. Jean remembers the exact moment everything changed: 8:15, the time Chantal died. That moment became the dividing line between the life they once knew and the life that followed. Together they share the long and difficult experience of Chantal's cancer diagnosis, the exhausting treatments that followed, and the heartbreak of losing a child. They also talk about how grief continued to unfold in the years afterward and how healing slowly takes shape over time. Jean reflects on something many parents feel deeply after the death of a child — the instinct to fix things and protect the people they love. His book, Dads Can't Fix Everything, grew out of that realization and explores the helplessness many fathers feel when faced with a loss that cannot be repaired. Music has always been an important part of Jean and Shelly's lives together. After Chantal's death, that part of their world felt quiet for a time, but eventually music began to return, offering another way to carry love and memory forward. Shelly also shares a moment that surprised her. Around the five-year mark in her grief journey, she realized that life felt recognizable again. It wasn't the life they once had, and grief was still present, but she began to feel like herself again. In this conversation they discuss: • losing a child to cancer • how grief evolves over time • the different ways parents process loss • music and writing as ways of expressing grief • and the ways families continue honoring the child who died Nearly two decades later, Chantal is still remembered in simple but meaningful ways. Each year friends and family gather on her birthday for pizza and Caesars — her favorite — raising a glass and remembering the girl who continues to shape their lives. This episode is a powerful reflection on grief, love, and learning to live with what cannot be fixed.

    1h 10m

  5. MAR 5

    Episode 338: Scars & Seasons - Keyan's Mom

    After six and a half years and more than 300 episodes, I took a month away from the podcast to rest, spend time with my family, and tend to my own heart. When it felt right to return, there was only one person I wanted to talk with. Stephanie — Keyan's mom — was the very first bereaved mother I ever interviewed when this podcast began. Even before that, she was someone I met in a grief support group just weeks after Andy died. She was further down the road of child loss than I was, and I remember quietly watching her, wondering how she was still standing. Somewhere in that watching was a small hope: If she can do this, maybe I can too. Now, eight and a half years into her grief journey, Stephanie shares honestly about what life looks like today. She talks about the days that still knock her off her feet, the complicated guilt that can come with laughing or enjoying time with her living children, and how grief doesn't disappear—it changes shape. For five years, Stephanie poured herself into serving other grieving families at Starlight Ministries. It was good work. Holy work. But somewhere along the way, the work that once helped her heal began to crowd out her own healing. As her therapist told her, "Anything you give energy to takes away from your healing energy." So she stepped away. We talk about what it means to reassess. To recognize when something that once brought relief no longer does. To admit that even good, sacred things can become too much. Together we talk about: • what it means to be years into grief and still hurting • the tension of holding joy and sorrow at the same time • the freedom of allowing grief to change as the years pass • the difference between being healed and being cured This episode is about scars, seasons, and the quiet courage it takes to keep learning your grief as it changes. If you are years into loss and wondering why it still hurts sometimes… you are not alone.

    1h 5m

  6. FEB 26

    Episode 337: Surviving the Long Haul - Gwen

    In this fourth and final episode of the February educational series, Gwen Kapcia of grief-guide.com focuses on long-term grief coping and the practical ways we can expand our ability to live with loss. Grief impacts every part of us — physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. When loss first happens, our "coping range" narrows. We feel overwhelmed more easily. Small stressors feel enormous. Our bodies are exhausted. Our thoughts can spiral. In this episode, Gwen explains how intentional care in each area of our lives can help widen that coping range again. She discusses: How grief affects the body and nervous system The role of sleep, movement, and physical care The impact of negative thought patterns and "mental tapes" How gratitude and forgiveness expand emotional capacity Why isolation deepens suffering — and connection restores strength The importance of tending to your spiritual life, even when faith feels fragile This episode offers practical grief support, emotional education, and gentle encouragement for the long haul. Healing does not mean the loss disappears. But with steady tools and compassionate awareness, we can learn to carry it in a way that is sustainable. If you are navigating child loss, suicide loss, or any significant grief, this conversation offers grounded guidance and hope for the road ahead.

    58 min

  7. FEB 19

    Episode 336: Family Grief & The Weight of Big Emotions - Gwen

    Grief is deeply personal — but it never happens in isolation. In Part 3 of this four-part educational grief series, Gwen Kapcia of grief-guide.com explores how loss impacts family dynamics and why each person in a family often grieves differently. One may withdraw. Another may need to talk. A child may crave routine while a parent feels shattered. The same loss — expressed in different ways. Gwen gently explains how grief can strain communication, shift roles within the family, and create misunderstandings — especially in the early months after a death. She also shares why shared acknowledgement, honest expression, and steady routines can help families move toward stability again. This episode also addresses the "big emotions" of grief, including anger, guilt, shame, jealousy, loss of identity, and even spiritual struggle. These reactions are not weaknesses — they are human responses to love and devastation. If you have ever wondered whether your grief is "normal," or why your family seems out of sync, this conversation offers reassurance, language, and practical guidance. Healing may not look the way it once did, but connection, understanding, and meaning are still possible. *If you would like a coupon code for resources or private sessions with Gwen, please email either marcy@andysmom.com or gwen@grief-guide.com

    57 min

  8. FEB 12

    Episode 335: What Shapes Our Grief - Gwen

    In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, grief educator Gwen Kapcia of grief-guide.com continues her four-part educational series on grief. In Part 2, Gwen focuses on the many factors that influence grief and the way individuals experience loss. Grief does not follow a single path. Personality, life history, coping styles, cultural background, belief systems, support networks, and the circumstances of the death all shape how grief shows up. Gwen explains why people grieve differently and why comparison can be harmful during the grieving process. This episode offers both education and reassurance, especially for bereaved parents who may feel pressure to grieve a certain way or on a specific timeline. By understanding the factors that influence grief, listeners are encouraged to approach themselves—and others—with greater compassion and patience. This is Part 2 of a 4-part educational series with Gwen Kapcia, created to help listeners better understand grief and support healing without judgment.

    54 min
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About

When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents and well as those who support them.

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