Mindfully Gay Podcast

John Cottrell & Jerry Buie

Welcome to the Mindfully Gay Podcast hosted by Jerry Buie and John Cottrell. Listen to these heart-to-heart conversations that transcend the ordinary. Guided by a simple yet impactful questions, John and Jerry unravel a tapestry of emotional dialogues. They delve courageously into the essence of what it means to take risks as a gay man, navigating through the intricate pathways of bravery, vulnerability, and the ultimate quest for self-acceptance. Their personal narratives of courageously facing fears and embracing their true selves are not just stories, but powerful testaments to the resilience and vibrancy of the gay experience.

  1. May 22

    Rewriting the Gay Agenda (Epi 61)

    Send us Fan Mail Rewriting the Gay Agenda Aired May 22, 2026 What if the “gay agenda” was never what culture, politics, and religion said it was? In this powerful episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, John and Jerry reclaim one of the most loaded phrases in queer culture and give it an entirely new meaning. “Rewriting the Gay Agenda” is a bold, heartfelt conversation about gay identity, queer authenticity, internalized shame, coming out, self-acceptance, healing, and living truthfully in a world that has often tried to define LGBTQ+ people from the outside in. With humor, vulnerability, and wisdom, John and Jerry unpack how the phrase “gay agenda” was historically used as a fear-based political and religious talking point—often tied to anxiety around gay rights, same-sex marriage, LGBTQ visibility, adoption, religion, and queer existence in public life. But instead of rejecting the phrase, they ask a deeper question: What if gay men got to write their own agenda? This episode moves from cultural commentary into deeply personal storytelling. John and Jerry reflect on their own early experiences of being gay—when survival often meant hiding, suppressing desire, performing straightness, or trying to “fix” what was never broken. They talk openly about the emotional cost of living under old narratives shaped by fear, religion, shame, family expectations, and external validation. From there, the conversation evolves into something more liberating: a new vision of the gay agenda rooted in authenticity, connection, mindfulness, self-knowledge, intimacy, compassion, spiritual growth, and radical self-acceptance. Along the way, they explore questions many listeners may be asking themselves right now: What am I really seeking? Where am I still performing? What would a more mindful, aligned life look like for me? How do I stop living for approval and start living from truth? John and Jerry also explore why gay men sometimes struggle to show kindness toward one another, and why real dialogue, vulnerability, and community matter so much. They suggest that the true “gay agenda” is not a conspiracy at all—it’s a personal commitment to living fully, consciously, and without apology. This is an episode for anyone navigating queer identity, healing from internalized homophobia, self-worth, coming out later in life, religious trauma, gay male culture, authenticity, or the search for deeper alignment and purpose. @mindfully_gay (Instagram)

    1h 3m
  2. May 8

    Sex as Currency: The Hidden Dynamics of Gay Male Connection (Epi 60)

    Send us Fan Mail Sex as Currency: The Hidden Dynamics of Gay Male Connection Airs May 8 What if the way we connect as gay men has been shaped more by survival than by intention? In this thought-provoking episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie explore a powerful and often unspoken dynamic within gay male culture: the idea of sex as currency. Why do so many interactions between gay men—whether at the gym, on dating apps, or even at casual social gatherings—carry an underlying sexual expectation? Where does this come from, and how does it influence our ability to form meaningful connections? Drawing inspiration from a viral social media conversation, John and Jerry unpack how growing up in the closet, navigating shame, and living within a heteronormative culture may have shaped the way many gay men relate to one another. They discuss how sexuality—while something to celebrate—can sometimes become a gateway to validation, belonging, or worth. This episode offers a nuanced and honest look at: Why sexuality can feel like a form of “currency” in gay male spacesHow everyday environments can carry subtle (or not-so-subtle) sexual undertonesThe balance between celebrating sexual freedom and creating space for non-sexual connectionThe impact of cultural shame, religious conditioning, and internalized beliefsHow to build authentic friendships, intimacy, and community beyond expectationJohn and Jerry don’t shy away from complexity. Instead, they invite listeners to reflect on their own experiences and consider a new possibility: connection that isn’t transactional, but intentional. Whether you’ve ever questioned dating culture, felt pressure in social spaces, or simply want deeper connection within the LGBTQ+ community, this conversation offers insight, awareness, and a refreshing perspective. 🎧 Download and listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify 📺 Watch the full video episode on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast @mindfully_gay (Instagram)

    59 min
  3. Apr 24

    Internalized Homophobia: The Stories We Tell About Ourselves (Epi 59)

    Send us Fan Mail Internalized Homophobia: The Stories We Tell About Ourselves (and Each Other) Aired April 24 What if the hardest judgment you face isn’t coming from the outside world—but from the story you’ve learned to tell about yourself? In this episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie name a pattern many gay men quietly carry: internalized homophobia—the inherited beliefs, fears, and assumptions that can shape how we see ourselves, how we relate to other gay men, and how safe we feel showing up in community. John and Jerry explore how internalized homophobia often hides in plain sight: The urge to measure yourself against heteronormative “standards” of masculinity, worth, and belongingThe way painful experiences can turn into sweeping beliefs like “gay men can’t be trusted” or “I don’t fit in”Why so many gay men feel isolated from other gay men, even when they crave connectionHow social media comparison can intensify shame, exclusion, and the feeling that you’re “not enough”The nervous system fears behind simple moments—like why saying “hello” at the gym can feel loaded with anxiety or rejectionThis conversation is also deeply practical. John and Jerry share how to start interrupting the narrative loop—through small acts of courage, real-world connection, and community spaces that aren’t centered on partying or performance. From gym interactions to social groups, they reflect on how testing your assumptions in real life can dissolve the myths that keep you stuck. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong, if you’ve judged yourself for being “too much” or “not enough,” or if you’ve pulled away from gay community out of fear—this episode offers language, compassion, and a path forward. 🎧 Listen and download the audio episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 📺 Watch the video podcast on YouTube: Mindfully Gay Podcast. @mindfully_gay (Instagram)

    1 hr
  4. Apr 10

    More Than Pride: What Queer Community Needs Now (Epi 58)

    Send us Fan Mail What does queer community really need right now—and what happens when Pride becomes more than a parade, a slogan, or a once-a-year celebration? In this special on-location episode of The Mindfully Gay Podcast, hosts John Cottrell and Jerry Buie step outside the studio and head to the Utah Pride Center in downtown Salt Lake City for an eye-opening conversation with Executive Director Chad Call. Together, they explore what it means to build authentic LGBTQ+ community in a time marked by political pressure, cultural shifts, financial uncertainty, and a growing hunger for connection. This episode goes beyond surface-level ideas of Pride and gets to the heart of what many queer people are searching for right now: belonging, support, visibility, joy, healing, and meaningful community spaces. Chad offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the Utah Pride Center serves the LGBTQ+ community through youth programs, senior gatherings, therapy access, support groups, social events, volunteer opportunities, and grassroots outreach across the state of Utah. John, Jerry, and Chad also discuss the changing needs of queer people today. Why are more people looking for community spaces that are not only about struggle, but also about celebration, creativity, friendship, and queer joy? How do LGBTQ+ organizations stay responsive when different groups within the community have different needs? And how can listeners support queer spaces that are working to unite, empower, and celebrate people in real and lasting ways? The conversation also takes on difficult but necessary topics, including the current challenges facing Pride organizations across the country, the loss of corporate sponsorships, the importance of community-based funding, and the question of how LGBTQ+ spaces can remain inclusive while responding to urgent political realities. Throughout the episode, John and Jerry continue the Mindfully Gay mission of asking honest questions, making room for nuance, and amplifying voices across the queer community. If you’ve ever wondered what a Pride Center actually does, why queer community spaces still matter, or how we can show up for one another in a more thoughtful and sustainable way, this is an episode you won’t want to miss. @mindfully_gay (Instagram)

    1h 10m
4.8
out of 5
22 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Mindfully Gay Podcast hosted by Jerry Buie and John Cottrell. Listen to these heart-to-heart conversations that transcend the ordinary. Guided by a simple yet impactful questions, John and Jerry unravel a tapestry of emotional dialogues. They delve courageously into the essence of what it means to take risks as a gay man, navigating through the intricate pathways of bravery, vulnerability, and the ultimate quest for self-acceptance. Their personal narratives of courageously facing fears and embracing their true selves are not just stories, but powerful testaments to the resilience and vibrancy of the gay experience.

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