79 episodes

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Pillow Talks Vanessa & Xander Marin

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

    Sex Confessions: The Good, The Bad, And The WTF

    Sex Confessions: The Good, The Bad, And The WTF

    Need a good laugh today? Everyone knows how stressful the holiday season can be, so if you need to lighten the mood or just chase away the cold weather blues, you’re in the right place.
    We crowdsourced anonymous sex confessions from our Instagram audience, and cherry-picked the very best ones to share in this revealing, hilarious, and sometimes shocking episode. Get ready for outdoor sex hijinks, dating app mishaps, on-the-job orgies, the trouble with technology, and more mayhem involving mothers than you ever wanted to know.
    So throw it on while you road trip to see the fam. Let it play while prepping your pies. Just make sure no one’s asleep in the house, because the “lol” is real this time.
    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode79
    Links & Resources:
    Foreplay Guides
    Next Level Intercourse
    What Does It Mean If I Have A Sex Dream? - YouTube
    Bisexual In A Straight Relationship - YouTube
    You can go to JULIECARE.CO to learn more or find Julie at your nearest Walmart today.

    • 49 min
    Initiation: What You And Your Partner Are Doing Wrong - And How To Get It Right

    Initiation: What You And Your Partner Are Doing Wrong - And How To Get It Right

    Initiation is SUPPOSED to feel sexy and enticing. When we see it on TV, it always looks so easy. One partner looks at the other from across the room, you can see in their eyes how much they want each other, one partner presses the other up against the wall and it’s game on! But for so many of us, initiation feels more like an annoyance than a seduction. We polled our audience on Instagram and discovered that at least half of our audience regularly gets frustrated by their partner’s initiation tactics.
    Initiation can be tricky because emotions can run high for both partners for very different reasons. One partner could be trying to feel connected, while the other is balancing cooking dinner, kids schedules, unreturned emails, and just not being in that headspace. Or maybe your partner waits to initiate until the 11th hour, when you’re desperate for sleep after a long day.
    In this episode, we examine both sides of failed initiation attempts. We share real life examples of some traps that we’ve personally fallen into along the way. And, most importantly, we offer simple solutions for both initiator and the exasperated partner. This is a fantastic episode to listen to with your partner - or to play loudly from the other room when they’re around!
    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode74
    Links & Resources:
    Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life
    Initiation 101
    Foreplay Guides
    Next Level Intercourse
    Better, Hotter, More
    Mental Load Workbook
    Sex Drive Types
    Episode 38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?
    Episode 73: Do You Ever “Owe” Sex To Your Partner?
    Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow

    • 59 min
    Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Orgasms

    Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Orgasms

    There are few things in life we’re more passionate about than orgasms! We want you to understand them, have them, give them, and enjoy them! With so much misinformation out there, it can be tricky to separate fact from fiction. So we decided to create The Orgasm Episode, vulva owner edition!
    We polled our Instagram audience for all the orgasm questions you want answered. We talk about everything from questions about clitoris size to squirting to wet dreams. Wanna know how to even identify an orgasm? Have you ever asked yourself why it seems so much easier for penis owners? We cover these hot topics and more as we dish the honest-to-goodness truth about the big O, and give you resources to help on your journey. And if you stick around to the very end, you’ll even get the answer to one of our more controversial questions - “Does Vanessa have an orgasm EVERY time she has sex?”.
    Links & Resources:
    Episode 11: How Vanessa Turned Her Orgasm Struggles Into A Sex Therapy Business!
    Episode 49: The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It)
    Finishing School
    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode77
    Go to GreenChef.com/pillow599 and use code pillow599 to get $5.99 per meal on your 1st box—and your 1st box ships free!

    • 56 min
    How Much Do You Really Want It? The Sex Drive Episode

    How Much Do You Really Want It? The Sex Drive Episode

    Do you want a higher sex drive? Bet you said, “yes!” without thinking twice. 74% of our Instagram audience did. Most of us feel self-conscious about how rarely we desire sex, and believe that we’re supposed to have a stronger libido.
    But if you’re really honest with yourself, do you truly want more desire? Only 8% of our Instagram audience said they’d do whatever it takes to have a higher sex drive. And we’ve found that whenever we offer sex drive resources to our community, very few people actually use them. (This episode contains a fascinating sneak peek at one of the biggest flops in our business!)
    So what’s going on here? In this episode, we dive deep into the sex drive disconnect so many of us are struggling with. We’ll bust some of the biggest - and most damaging - sex drive myths, and give you the honest truth about libido. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of what you truly want, and a clear path on how to get there.
    Links & Resources:
    Rediscovering Desire
    Sex Drive Types
    Foreplay Guides
    Next Level Intercourse
    Butt Stuff
    Better, Hotter, More
    Episode 73: Do You Ever Owe Sex To Your Partner
    Survivor’s Guide
    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode76
    You can go to JULIECARE.CO to learn more or find Julie at your nearest Walmart today.

    • 50 min
    Am I Being Unreasonable?

    Am I Being Unreasonable?

    You love your partner, for better or worse, but there’s just that THING that gets under your skin.
    Maybe it’s something they say all the time, maybe it’s a bad habit that they refuse to address, or something bigger like house duties.
    Whatever it is, you just can’t seem to “get over it” and you have found yourself wondering, “Am I being unreasonable?”
    We reached out to our Instagram audience for their biggest pet peeves and frustrations, and damn did you guys have some good ones! In this episode, we’ll help you uncover possible missing perspectives, give advice on how to move forward, and even validate some the worries because spoiler alert: so many of these are not as unreasonable as you would think!
    Links & Resources:
    Episode 46: The Hygiene Episode: What To Do If Your Partner Isn’t Taking Care Of Themselves
    Mental Load Workbook
    Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 55 min
    Are We…Growing Apart?

    Are We…Growing Apart?

    You come home after a long day, you see your partner, but you don’t say anything more than “hi” to each other. Something hilarious happened at lunch, but you don’t see the point in sharing it with your partner. You sit down to dinner, but have nothing to say to one another.
    You find yourself thinking, “How did this happen? Is this normal? This can’t be what a relationship is supposed to be like…”
    Well guess what? Not only has 90% of our Instagram audience admitted to growing apart in a relationship, but 1 in 3 of them are going through it right now.
    Growing apart is so scary. You can’t understand how this happened, especially because you used to be so close. You wonder if you’ve already drifted too far to fix it. You’re afraid of the possibility of breaking up.
    If you’ve ever found yourself feeling more alone with your partner than without, or if you miss them even when they are right next to you, then you HAVE to listen to this episode.
    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode74
    Links and Resources:
    Check out our 30 Day Connection Challenge at Connection Challenge Episode 38: You Want Connection, Your Partner Wants Sex. Who Comes First?
    Thanks Cozy Earth. Go to CozyEarth.com and get 35% off sitewide when you use the code PILLOWTALKS

    • 49 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
1.2K Ratings

1.2K Ratings

gabbsgirl ,

A staple podcast

Just discovered this podcast and I already love it! Super entertaining and valuable information. PS, Vanessa’s laugh is contagious and cute.

Mknottr2 ,

Great Convo Starter!

I found this show from someone I follow and I instantly fell in love with it! I’ve even gotten my boyfriend hooked on it. It’s been a great way to navigate conversations in our relationship and put to words to what we’re experiencing. I love hearing the two different view points from Vanessa and Xander. I think they do a good job at giving well rounded view points on various topics. Bonus that they have other resources available to dive deeper on a topic. All in all, one of my favorite podcasts and it’s the been the opening door to more conversations around sex and relationships! 🔑🚪❤️‍🔥

Jalyson28 ,

Favorite couple, favorite podcast!

Single gal here! 🙋🏼‍♀️ Found Vanessa through the healthier together podcast and have been following her and Xander ever since! Their mission is to help couples but as a single person I am still thoroughly enjoying and learning so much. My next partner is going to be a very lucky dude and I will most definitely be sharing their insta and podcast with him. Couldn’t recommend their podcast enough - they cover so many important topics, give the best actionable advice, always make me laugh and give me hope for a future healthy, happy, sexually fulfilling relationship. Their guides are fantastic too - like I said… future dude is going to be a very lucky one 😉
Listen to their podcast NOW and follow on insta. You will not regret it!! Thanks you two!!! 💕💕💕💕

Top Podcasts In Health & Fitness

Scicomm Media
Jay Shetty
Aubrey Gordon & Michael Hobbes
Lysa TerKeurst
Ten Percent Happier
Lewis Howes

You Might Also Like

Ryan and Brittany Ostofe
Landyn Hutchinson
Abby and Amy
Cat & Nat
Dear Media, Sarah Nicole Landry
Dr. Emily Morse