The Estranged Heart

The Estranged Heart
  • 4.8 (101)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.

  1. 16h ago

    EP272: Don't Look At Me Like That!

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores what happens when a seemingly small interaction between a parent and adult child suddenly carries the emotional weight of decades. Using a recent interaction with her own mother as a starting point, Kreed examines why adult children can become intensely reactive around their parents even after years of therapy and healing work and why parents may be pulled into old relational states at exactly the same time. This episode explores the difference between reacting to today's event and responding to the accumulated history of a relationship, how implicit and relational memory shape our reactions, why family roles can survive for decades, and why understanding a reaction does not automatically excuse the behavior that follows. Kreed also examines an important question for both sides of estrangement: Are we responding to the person standing in front of us today or to the person we remember them being? INSIGHTS Why the sentence may be new while its meaning is decades old How the body can recognize an old relational pattern before conscious thought catches up Why healing doesn't mean never being activated again The difference between the past intruding on the present and the present actually repeating the past Why parents may see one incident while adult children experience an entire relational archive How parents can be pulled into younger relational states too How family roles such as "the difficult one," "the fragile one," or "the one who can handle it" survive into adulthood How curiosity about meaning creates more possibility for repair than arguing about words Why adult children and parents both have responsibility for examining the old stories they carry about one another A central question from this episode: When an old family dance begins again, can you recognize the music soon enough to choose a different step? RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  2. Aug 30

    EP271: Why Can't You Just Let It Go?

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores one of the most common and often most painful questions in complicated family relationships: Why can't you just let it go? After a recent conversation about the decades-long history between Kreed and her sibling Kreed examines why remembering and naming relational history isn't necessarily the same thing as holding a grudge. For someone who grew up cast as the “problem child,” being told in adulthood to stop rehashing the past can recreate the very family dynamic that caused harm in the first place: your reaction becomes the problem while the context behind your reaction disappears. Kreed also brings this conversation directly into parent–adult child estrangement. When an adult child continues talking about the past, are they refusing to move forward or are they trying to determine whether the relationship they're being invited back into actually understands what went wrong? And importantly, when does healthy processing become unhealthy rumination? Takeaways: Silence is not necessarily evidence of healing, and talking about the past is not necessarily evidence of being stuck. There is an important difference between processing the past and prosecuting the past. Healing doesn't require erasing relational history. The goal is integration: understanding what happened without allowing it to run the present. The wound doesn't have to disappear from your story. It just needs to stop running your story. RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  3. Aug 23

    EP270: The Grace We Give

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed shares a deeply moving letter originally published by Dr. Joshua Coleman, written by an estranged mother reflecting on her relationship with the mother who abandoned her and the daughter from whom she is now estranged. At the heart of the letter is a question that reaches far beyond estrangement: Can we tell the full truth about how someone hurt us without reducing that person to the harm they caused? This episode explores the difference between understanding and excusing, and what it means to hold accountability, impact, context, boundaries, and humanity at the same time. Why understanding is not exoneration and context does not erase impact How curiosity can help us see the person behind the behavior without denying our own lived experience Why someone else's suffering does not have to be required for our suffering to be legitimate The difference between accountability and reducing another person to a verdict How multiple truths can coexist: You hurt me. You had your own wounds. Both matter. The difficult question at the center of the episode: Am I asking for a kind of humanity that I am unwilling to extend to someone else? RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  4. Aug 19

    EP269: Shame - gasoline, not water

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the dynamics of shame in parent-child relationships, highlighting how shame can hinder genuine understanding and repair. This episode offers insights into recognizing shame-based communication and fostering healthier interactions. Takeaways Shame is often unintentional and can be rooted in fear and terror. The shift from behavior-based feedback to character judgments triggers shame. Shame activates protection responses like defensiveness and withdrawal. Effective communication requires distinguishing between feedback and verdicts. RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  5. Aug 16

    EP268: What TikTok Taught Me

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the complexities of family estrangement, social media's impact on understanding human relationships, and the importance of emotional maturity in reconciliation. Key Topics The impact of social media on perceptions of estrangement The importance of holding multiple human experiences simultaneously The difference between understanding, validation, and endorsement The danger of binary thinking in family conflicts The need for nuanced conversations about pain and accountability Strategies for creating safety and capacity in difficult conversations RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  6. Aug 12

    EP267: Invisible

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart podcast, Kreed explores the impact of emotional neglect and the importance of curiosity in healing family estrangement. This episode highlights how patterns of disconnection are passed down and how parents and adult children can foster understanding through genuine curiosity. Takeaways Most family patterns are stored in the nervous system, not consciously remembered. Relational patterns are often automatic, like balancing on a bike. Parents may parent from their inherited nervous system without awareness. Absence of curiosity creates a gap that affects future generations. RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  7. Aug 9

    EP266: Did They Really Know?

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart, Kreed walks through why "knowing better" quietly conflates two different things:  awareness that something was missing and access to a practiced alternative and why that gap matters more than intent does. "You knew better. You just didn't do better." It's one of the sharpest sentences an adult child can hand a parent and it sounds airtight. In this episode, Kreed takes it apart, along with a second claim making the rounds in parenting content: that some parents raise children out of obligation instead of desire. This one applies whether you're the parent trying to understand what you did or didn't have access to, or the adult child trying to understand why "and they loved me" and "and they harmed me" haven't felt like they could sit in the same sentence. Key Takeaways: "Knowing better" and "having access to better" are not the same thing.  Harm doesn't require intent to be real, and it isn't the same claim as abuse.  Regulation - not love, not intention - determines whether Both/And is possible.  RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you.

  8. Jul 26

    EP265: One Relationship. Two Experiences.

    In this episode of The Estranged Heart Podcast, Kreed explores one of the most painful and perplexing questions estranged parents ask: How can my adult child remember our relationship so differently than I do? She introduces a perspective - that there was never just one relationship. There were always two: the relationship the parent experienced and the relationship the child experienced. Rather than asking whose memories are "right," Kreed invites listeners to consider a different question: What was it like to be my child inside the relationship I remember? Through a relational lens, she explains why parents often remember the relationship through their intentions, sacrifices, and responsibilities, while adult children remember it through their emotional experience, sense of safety, and whether they felt truly seen. This episode challenges the assumption that shared events create shared experiences and explores how curiosity - not certainty - can become the first step toward greater understanding and, when possible, reconciliation. In this episode, you will learn: Why parents and adult children often carry two very different experiences of the same relationship. The difference between remembering events and remembering emotional experiences. Why understanding another person's reality does not require abandoning your own. Takeaways 1. There was never just one relationship. Parents and children often experience the same family through entirely different emotional realities. Both perspectives can be genuine without being identical. 2. Intentions and experiences are different kinds of truth.A parent's loving intentions do not automatically determine how their child experienced the relationship.  RESOURCES & SUPPORT Facebook Support Group (facilitated by Kreed) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup One-on-One Services Private coaching Consulting Mediation services Connect with Kreed: Website: theestrangedheart.com Email: hello@theestrangedheart.com Support the work: Buy Me a Coffee (donation platform) Disclaimer: Kreed Revere is not a licensed therapist. Nothing in this podcast should be considered or taken as therapy. If you need therapeutic support, please seek out a therapist near you. In this episode, you'll learn:Key Takeaways

See All (276)

Trailer

4.8
out of 5
101 Ratings

About

Support and community for navigating the emotional storms of parent and adult child estrangement and repairing and transforming relationships with one another in healthy and productive ways.

Information

  • Creator
    The Estranged Heart
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    276
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © The Estranged Heart
  • Show Website
    The Estranged Heart

You Might Also Like