NonMembers Only

Erin Azar, Mike Hourani
  • 5.0 (320)
  • Sports
  • Updated Weekly

NonMembers Only is a sports(ish) variety show for curious people who aren’t already in the know. Every week, we curate the niche sports, pop culture, and internet stories worth knowing - and when we get access to the worlds behind them, we take you with us.

  1. 4d ago

    #259 - Starting a Fantasy Football League, Fake Duke Student, & Inhaling Live Fish

    We kick off the episode live and in person by announcing our new fantasy football team, the "Pepto Pugskins," and discuss some hilarious punishments for the league loser (only if it's us), including taking the SATs, spending 24 hours in a Waffle House, or competing in a bodybuilding show. We also celebrate Mike's birthday at Hotel LBI, recounting the "What Would You Do?" mystery of the missing complimentary Prosecco and the terrifying moment Bucky almost choked after licking some birthday cake icing. After wishing everyone a Happy National Coloring Day, Erin shares her latest neighborhood battle as the self-appointed street mayor, circulating a petition after the borough removed access to the bay, leading to several injuries. We also share a legendary Dan story, detailing the moment he accidentally inhaled a live fish while body surfing in the ocean. Next, we tackle the tech nightmares of Erin's parents cell phones, recounting the malware masquerading as calendar apps and the relentless full-screen pop-up ads plaguing Erin's mom's Samsung device. Moving to the skies, we react to the wild footage of a buff 67-year-old man getting completely mummified in duct tape in his first class seat on an American Airlines flight after assaulting passengers and shouting slurs. We also give a massive shoutout to Evie's new cocktail book, Drinks for Every Taste, celebrate the former AMC popcorn rebel Darius who now hooks people up with extra McDonald's nuggets, and follow up on Nike's NYC rent-paying 100m street race that ended up being entirely dominated by D-1 athletes rather than everyday runners. In the health and fitness world, Mike vents about his struggles with bodily awareness during corrective jumping exercises assigned by Sam, and Erin shares her desperate goal to finally fix her terrible sleep schedule by going to bed at 10:30 PM. We also react to a piece of the Ritz-Carlton awning from the Eagles' Super Bowl 52 celebrations being sold on Facebook Marketplace for $2,200, and discuss the allegations that the New England Patriots used their video board to create offset goalposts to disorient opposing kickers. For "Erin's Tea Time," we break down the insane story of Angel Murdoch, a former Love Island contestant who elaborately faked being a Duke University Physician Assistant student by posing in scrubs outside dorms and stealing actual students' photos. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we smile at a wholesome viral video of a little kid holding up a tiny catch of the day from a boat as an entire waterfront restaurant erupts in cheers for him.

  2. Sep 7

    #258 - Team Struggle Run Book, DoorDash Accidents, & Female Urinals

    We kick off the episode on National Buy a Book Day with a massive announcement: Erin has officially submitted the final draft of her upcoming book, which is slated for release in August 2027. Erin & Mike share a few personal updates, including the surprisingly stressful experience of getting an "A+" from the clerk on his DMV Real ID form, a shoutout to Sourdough Sabrina for a successful weekend selling goods at the local market, and a major shore update regarding a tense, multi-day police standoff over the neighborhood Sunfish sailboats. On a much more serious health note, Erin opens up about recently being diagnosed with melanoma on her shoulder, detailing the scary biopsy process and urging all listeners to prioritize their yearly skin checks. In the running world, we marvel at Ali, an elite runner who just broke the three hour barrier at the Sydney Marathon (2:59:42) while 32 weeks pregnant—though she admitted her biggest logistical hurdle was timing her bathroom breaks. Speaking of bathroom breaks, we review a bizarre new female urinal introduced at an Irish music festival that requires users to squat over a short wall while making direct eye contact with strangers, which we firmly decide is a terrible design. We give an update on Callaway Golf's controversial ad featuring Good Good. Wrapping up the episode, we discuss a wild social experiment where a man sat on a park bench waiting for a stranger to tie his shoe for $10, and debate the ethics of walking up to a massive car accident just to retrieve your perfectly intact DoorDash order. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we recount the wholesome viral story of a woman filming her husband meeting his online gaming friend of nine years in person for the very first time to go fishing.

  3. Aug 31

    #257 - Wheelchair Rugby Gold, LoveSac Drama, & Robot Olympics

    We kick off the episode celebrating National Eat Outside Day and mixing up some creatine electrolytes in a Hydro Jug to fight off brain fog before diving into some major rants. Mike vents about annoying "see what's new" software pop ups on Riverside. Mike explains a bizarre shipping error where he mysteriously received three identical, limited edition watches for his birthday despite his wife Sam only paying for one. Shifting to sports, we celebrate the US Wheelchair Rugby team—featuring previous podcast guests Chuck and Sarah—winning the World Championship for the first time in 16 years after defeating Australia 57-51. We also discuss Nike's Lower East Side 100-meter street race where the fastest sprinter gets their NYC rent paid for a month (up to $4,000), and debate a viral story about four 18-year-old New Jersey hikers who were billed what we consider a very reasonable $1,000 for a nine-hour rescue in New Hampshire. We also reluctantly acknowledge the fast-approaching NFL and fantasy football season, which unfortunately signals the start of Erin's cold weather seasonal depression. In "Erin's Tea Time," we break down a disastrous week for corporate marketing. We cover Callaway Golf's controversial ad featuring a man shoulder-checking a woman for a club (which they blamed on a YouTube production company), Tarte Cosmetics sending influencers highly offensive PR packages with their faces marked up for plastic surgery, and LoveSac's embarrassing decision to mock comedian Deric Cahill with tiny gardening gloves after he made a viral video about their exhausting 25-box couch assembly. In the tech world, we review the unhinged Humanoid Robot Games in Beijing and a "robot" house cleaner that we think is actually being controlled by underpaid overseas laborers who are essentially scanning your home's layout. We also laugh at our favorite corporate one-liners to use at the office. Finally, in "No Bad, No Sad," we highlight the wholesome viral moment of 34-year-old "Heather Skater" inviting all of Denver to a local park to cheer her on as she happily fell her way through her very first roller skating attempt.

  4. Aug 24

    #256 - Tinter Battles World Championships

    This week, we are officially "Tint Boys" broadcasting straight from a transformed warehouse in Glendale, California, for the global Tinter Battles window tinting championships. We immerse ourselves into the intense, WWE-style subculture of competitive window tinting, complete with pre-competition online trash-talking, NASCAR-style matching team jerseys, and heavyweight champion belts. We hit the competition floor to interview Cody from Tex Window Tinting about his mid-competition broken squeegee, lending his toolbelt to a friend whose luggage was lost, and his high-tech "Tint Buster" backpack. We also catch up with Carlos, the CEO of Tinter Battles, who explains how he combined his musical performance background with his tinting career to give these hardworking professionals the rockstar platform they deserve. After watching the intense flat glass and Paint Protective Film (PPF) heats, we officially give ourselves tinting nicknames: "Squeege.E" and "Mikey No Bubbles," and definitively declare that window tinting is a sport that belongs on ESPN. Taking a break from the competition, we did some LA exploring, starting with a trip to Ace Hardware for the last pack of Pokémon cards before finally experiencing the famous grocery store, Erewhon. Despite expecting $20 grapes, we were surprised to find the produce prices pretty normal—though the $165 branded hoodies and $100 lotions definitely lived up to the hype. After consulting with the in-store sommelier for some wine, we proudly embraced our new status as "Erewhon girlies". Later, we retreated to the hotel to order some Panda Express and had a gaming session where Mike quickly grasped the mechanics of Fortnite, even while Erin got targeted and eliminated twice in a single round. To round out our West Coast trip, we engaged in some "business business" by visiting the studio of the GroupChat podcast. We recap the incredibly pristine bathrooms and share what it was like to sit in and watch the two brothers record their tech and finance show. While Erin felt a little out of her depth listening to the highly educated business banter, we loved getting a behind-the-scenes look at how another successful podcast operates.

  5. Aug 17

    #255 - Death Diving, Legend of Kevin’s Truck, & Sleeping on Garage Floors

    We kick off on National Thrift Shop Day with Erin literally pouring sweat after Dan opened the garage doors to unpack from six chaotic weeks away at the shore. She breaks down the disastrous end to their beach trip: after the borough removed their boat ramp, her mom Judy took a nasty tumble trying to climb the bulkhead and ended up in a packed, terrifying hallway bed in the ER. To make matters worse, Judy hobbled out of the hospital before getting her painkillers, leaving the entire extended family, 16 people and a dog, crammed into a 3 bedroom house. Erin spent the night sleeping on the garage floor next to a flashing electric car charger and a kicking toddler.  In sports news, we introduce the chaotic new street game "Don't Touch the Can," marvel at the terrifying flips and belly flops of Norwegian Death Diving, and celebrate a guy in Cleveland who just broke the world record for the fastest mile while pushing a Thule stroller clocking in at an insane 4:17 while his baby just happily kicked around inside. We also discuss the upcoming Australian Netflix documentary on the viral Olympic breakdancer Raygun, and debunk a fake viral video that falsely claimed a hiker was charged $70,000 for a helicopter rescue in Yosemite. Moving into tech and marketing, we dive into a wild conspiracy theory that AI companies are secretly paying creators massive sums to start a TikTok trend of reciting phrases with different emotions just to train their voice models. Speaking of insane tech money, we touch on a tech podcast allegedly getting a $70 million buyout, before Erin unleashes a massive rant against BMW for forcing unskippable video ads onto their cars' dashboards and the absolute misery of new CAPTCHA tests asking users to match animal environments. We then review a hilarious story out of New Jersey where police actually disguised themselves as bushes to catch 74 drivers using their cell phones. Finally, we wrap up with "No Bad, No Sad," featuring a legendary viral post from a Japanese man discovering the American phenomenon of having a “truck guy” where moving a sofa costs exactly one pizza, reminding us that Dan is officially our neighborhood's "Kevin".

  6. Aug 10

    #254 - Courtside WNBA, Ted Lasso Trip, & Dribbling Disaster

    Episode 254 opens in person at the shore on National Spoil Your Dog Day with Bucky. Before diving into recent travels, Erin and Mike preview their upcoming trip to LA for the Tinter Battles window tinting championships, where they secured media passes, and plan to interview the CEO. Erin then breaks down her whirlwind coast-to-coast trip to LA, which started with her binging all three seasons of Ted Lasso after discovering the hit Apple TV series originally evolved from a three minute Premier League commercial created by an ad agency. After enjoying United's Polaris Lounge and flying first class to LA, Erin was picked up by a chauffeur who misplaced his debit card, forgot where his car was parked, and accidentally drove to the wrong Marriott. Erin made her way trinketless to the LA Sparks WNBA courtside game held to promote Ted Lasso Season 4, where 7,000 replica "Believe" signs were handed out, and she met up with creators including Molly Markle and the Bellairs (who dressed in full Ted Lasso costumes). Before the game, Erin hit it off with a woman who turned out to be the global head of Adidas Basketball, explored the VIP courtside lounge and its marble bathrooms featuring mahogany "wet floor" signs, cried during a retired player's jersey ceremony, and accidentally caused a brief panic when she tried to dribble a ball on the court. After FaceTiming Mike and Sam from the court, Erin later spotted actor Jeremy Swift (who plays Leslie on Ted Lasso) at the airport lounge on her flight home. To close out the episode, Mike and Erin share a wholesome "No Bad, No Sad" story about NFL star JJ Watt. After a fan tweeted about being too shy to ask JJ Watt for a photo when they ate breakfast near each other in NYC, Watt saw the tweet, asked where the fan was hanging out, showed up at O'Hara's bar, and joined him for a Guinness.

  7. Aug 3

    #253 - USATF Outdoor Championships, Woodhall's Interview, & Police Standoff

    In this episode of NonMembers Only, Mike and Erin record in-person on the streets of New York City while covering the USATF Outdoor Championships at Icahn Stadium on Randall's Island. The city trip starts with typical urban adventures, from navigating packed hotel elevators and complaining about the grueling trek to Randall's Island, to picking up media credentials at an FDNY training facility where an Italian worker was completely baffled by Erin’s "Mrs. Space Cadet" persona. Trackside, they break down the major drama surrounding Hunter Woodhall, who was disqualified for his 400m final for using an "illegal technology" starting foam block, protested by racing anyway, and later won gold without the block, despite an awkward call out from the stadium announcer, before launching 15 feet in the air during Erin's interview and insisting she keep his gold medal. They also touch on the NYC Mayor's 500 ticket giveaway, Aliyah Armstrong’s bedazzled spikes and mom coach, NBC commentator Lewis Johnson remembering Erin’s cologne question from two years ago, and an exclusive interview with Tara Davis-Woodhall in her custom 1-of-1 Nike tassel outfit, where Erin skipped race questions to show off her pull up progress. Back at the hotel, Mike and Erin become hypnotized by competitive ESPN juggling from Paris, before Erin unleashes a massive "Tea Time" saga regarding a 5 hour beach standoff with police. After cops pulled her 12-year-old daughter out of the house to question her about Sunfish sailboats and told Erin to "look up the ordinance," Erin went deep into DEP public trust doctrines, drafted a formal complaint letter, suffered severe stress diarrhea, filed an OPRA request, and stood her ground against town officials attempting to clear small boats off their dead end street. To wrap up the episode, they recount getting trapped in Times Square traffic next to eight deafening, popping motorcycles, explain the sheer panic of accidentally filming a Dick's Sporting Goods brand confessional horizontally instead of vertically right before hotel checkout, and meet up with "Business Business" Regan as she arrives with London tea while Erin prepares for her upcoming trip to LA for the Ted Lasso premiere and a courtside WNBA game.

  8. Jul 27

    #252 - Surprise Ted Lasso Invite, Sailboat Rescue, & Cycle Ball

    Happy National New Jersey Day and apologizing for "winging it" while living in temporary shore chaos with random neighborhood kids wandering into the house. We recap a wild week that included breathing in Canadian wildfire smoke and surviving an unannounced flash hurricane that flooded the streets, floated shoes and bikes, and washed un-secured drywall from the controversial LBI mega house directly into the bay. The beach badge checkers are also out in full force, prompting Erin to sprint into the ocean in street clothes to evade them for 45 minutes before discovering the rules changed to require badges even for surfers. Another event of the week, however, was Dan's three hour sailboat rescue where he had to jump into the stormy bay to tie a bowline knot and fix his broken Sunfish boat while saving a beginner sailor who blew downwind. We also file a formal complaint about Dan asking Erin to fetch ambiguous tools from his five different toolboxes, recount a neighbor dropping off sourdough bread wrapped in twine mid-recording, and recap the chaos of police and fire showing up for an alarm while the homeowner's daughter was 30 seconds away from singing opera in Prague. In sports and pop culture, we discuss the "5K Guy" who faced internet backlash for running a 5K in his World Cup seat before clarifying he was safely in a brand sponsored section. Erin also drops a massive announcement about scoring an Apple TV brand invite to the Ted Lasso Season 4 premiere and a courtside WNBA game in LA. We introduce a new sport called "Cycle Ball"—aggressive indoor soccer played on bicycles—and react to a Red Bull stunt featuring a stuntwoman jumping from an extreme height into a pile of hay. We also debate a viral video of an elite runner mom waving off her clueless husband and kids when they ran onto the course 15 feet before the finish line, and we hype up the Philadelphia Parallel Parking Championship featuring an "under duress" category. Finally, we vent our frustrations over a gut health company stealing Erin's video about bloating and adding a creepy, glitchy AI spokesperson to sell their product. After reading through a list of hilarious blue collar insults, we share an update on the Cyclospora parasite outbreak. We wrap up with "No Bad, No Sad," celebrating an elite Uber driver named Rob with over 14,000 rides who ended up eating drive thru food, playing board games, and chilling in a jacuzzi with his passengers.

See All (260)

5
out of 5
320 Ratings

About

NonMembers Only is a sports(ish) variety show for curious people who aren’t already in the know. Every week, we curate the niche sports, pop culture, and internet stories worth knowing - and when we get access to the worlds behind them, we take you with us.

Information

  • Creator
    Erin Azar, Mike Hourani
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    260
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Erin Azar, Mike Hourani
  • Show Website
    NonMembers Only

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