A HOLY MESS | Purpose, Recovery, Trauma, Life Coaching, Shame, Regret

Dani Sumner | Christian Life Coach, Spiritual Director
  • 5.0 (181)
  • Christianity
  • Weekly

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place! Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity. Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose. There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help. Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet. If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place. We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

  1. 1d ago

    249.5 Struggling with what others think about you? 1 quick step to help you.

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → calendly.com/danisumner   Struggling with what others think about you? 1 quick step to help you.   Worried about what everyone thinks of you? Dani shares the simple tool that's helped her, her kids and her clients with healing from people pleasing and self doubt: pick three people who love you, believe in you and want what's best for you. Give them a seat at your table and run your big decisions through them. The naysayers don't get a vote. If you're ready to take your power back, 1:1 coaching with Dani is a great next step. In this episode, Dani talks about: Choosing the three people who get a seat at your table Why author Brennan Manning is one of hers Philippians 2:5 and living for an audience of one Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call: calendly.com/danisumner. 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. Find out more about Dani at danisumner.com. 🤍

  2. 5d ago

    249. How God Can Use Your Pain for Good- Finding Hope in Hard Times

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → calendly.com/danisumner How God Can Use Your Pain for Good: Finding Hope in Hard Times Dani's son Zach hit a hard, heartbreaking season, so she and Gary got him out of Dodge and flew to Hawaii to help him heal. Through a string of God-ordained moments, he landed a visit with University of Hawaii football, his dream school, and committed on the spot. His first words in the car? "Wow, look what God did." Almost 16 years sober, Dani shares why she's now grateful for her own rock bottom, and invites you to look at your hard thing and ask, "God, how can this be the gateway?" If you're ready to heal, 1:1 coaching is a great place to start. Ready to use your story to help others? Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification was built for you. In this episode, Dani talks about: How a hard season opened the door to Zach's dream school Romans 8:28 and why God redeems the lemons he didn't cause Seeing your suffering as a gateway instead of a boulder Ephesians 3:20 and praying bigger prayers Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or go straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to use your story for others. If this episode gave you hope, leave a review and share it with a friend who's still waiting on their lemonade. 🤍

  3. Oct 28

    248. Healing From People Pleasing: Become Unavailable to Self-Abandon

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani →  https://calendly.com/danisumner Healing From People Pleasing: Become Unavailable to Self-Abandon You said yes when you meant no. You ran twelve errands for everyone else before you ran one for yourself. Everyone made it onto your calendar, and you hoped there would be time left over for you. Now you’re past exhausted and wondering where you went. If you’re healing from people pleasing, Dani’s recalibration teaching was made for you. She plants one phrase in the ground: become unavailable to self-abandon. No more death by a thousand cuts. No more saying yes out of guilt or old conditioning. Dani walks through how she builds her calendar with herself on it first, what white space looks like and why your nervous system is begging for it, and why joy is something you practice and protect every day. She also reminds you that having the ability to do something doesn’t make it your responsibility. Learning how to stop people pleasing is how you start moving forward, and your best hours belong to you and God. If you want real support taking them back, 1:1 coaching with Dani is built for exactly that. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why becoming unavailable to self-abandon is the real work of healing from people pleasing Scheduling yourself first: how Dani builds her calendar and why it changed everything White space, why your nervous system needs it, and how to build it into a busy season Your “joy window” and why joy is a daily practice you have to guard The daily pill principle: why christian recovery and self-care aren’t phases you graduate from “Just because you have the ability doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility,” and how to live that when guilt shows up Glad you’re here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at danisumner.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don’t have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who keeps putting herself last. 🤍

  4. Oct 24

    247. Your Dreams and desires are God’s will and purpose for your life. Finding Faith To Be Courageous.

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner Your Dreams and Desires Are God’s Will and Purpose for Your Life. Finding Faith to Be Courageous. You’ve spent so long living for other people that you don’t even know what you want anymore. Maybe you gave it away slowly. Maybe it was taken. Either way, you stopped dreaming and started surviving. If you’re healing from people pleasing or self doubt, this one’s for you. On a car ride, Dani tells the story of a gas station stop in Ventura and a woman headed to Nevada with two kids, a dog and not enough money to get there. Dani filled her tank, bought snacks and sandwiches, and pulled $300 from the ATM. She’ll tell you she’s no saint. She’s just done the work to get out of scarcity, so generosity comes easy now. The desires in your heart are there on purpose: to give more, write the book, become a coach, invest, say hi to the stranger. God planted them, and finding your purpose starts with trusting that. The “how” is none of your business yet. Do your work, stay curious, take the next step. If you’re ready to stop living small and start moving forward, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that conversation starts. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why she filled a stranger’s gas tank and handed her $300 cash at a Ventura gas station How scarcity keeps you from being the generous person God made you to be The candy bar story, and what it means when people pleasing has left you not knowing what you want Why your desire isn’t disqualified just because someone else has already done it Healing from self doubt by letting go of the “how” and trusting God with it How a real estate deal reminded her God is still working on desires she surrendered years ago Glad you’re here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear that the desire in their heart is still there for a reason. 🤍

  5. Sep 30

    246. Choose Your Hard: It's Either Hard to Heal or Hard to Suffer | Acknowledge It, Appreciate It, Allow It: Your New Framework for Hard Seasons

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → calendly.com/danisumner Choose Your Hard: It's Either Hard to Heal or Hard to Suffer | Acknowledge It, Appreciate It, Allow It: Your New Framework for Hard Seasons You're at the happiest place on earth, you open one email, and your brain goes straight to worst-case scenario. That's where Dani was when a surprise tax bill landed in the middle of a family trip to Disneyland. This one comes from inside her coaching community, shared because it was too good to gatekeep. The tool that helped her find her footing came from Betty, a prayer warrior in her 90s, who calls it Triple A Faith: Acknowledge, Appreciate, Allow. Name the hard and fight just as hard to name the good. Find the lesson and the people God brings through a rough season. Then let God be God. Dani lands the whole thing on Guardians of the Galaxy, the ride where she once pulled a shoulder muscle holding on, and this time rode it with her arms in the air. Every season asks something hard of you. It's either hard to heal or hard to suffer, so choose your hard. If you're ready to stop white-knuckling and do the healing kind of hard with real support, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that starts. Book at aholymess.com. In this episode, Dani talks about: A surprise tax bill at Disneyland and the worst-case spiral that followed Why trauma survivors' brains jump to catastrophe, and why very few things are the end of the world Betty's Triple A Faith: Acknowledge the hard and the good, Appreciate the lesson, Allow God to be God Healing a money scarcity mindset that says it's never enough "Choose your hard" and why suffering with purpose beats suffering without it Riding Guardians of the Galaxy hands free, and what surrender actually feels like Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who's been holding on too tight. 🤍

  6. Sep 23

    245. Your Call From God Is Not a Conference Call: Stop Living Under the Tyranny of Other People's Opinions | When Someone Judges Your Faith: How to Take Your Power Back Without Getting Bitter

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → calendly.com/danisumner Your Call From God Is Not a Conference Call: Stop Living Under the Tyranny of Other People's Opinions | When Someone Judges Your Faith: How to Take Your Power Back Without Getting Bitter What do you do when someone you love judges your faith or questions your calling from God? Dani recorded this one in the car on the drive home from LA, still processing a moment from the night before. A family member called her faith "Diet Coke" to his "Coke," and it hit a nerve. She gets honest about why it triggered her, and about what she found in herself once the sting wore off. The opinions that cut deepest rarely come from strangers. They come from the people you love and respect most. Dani shares the story of a client who was at the top of his career in his 30s, felt called into ministry, and got pulled back into business because family and colleagues drowned out his own voice. She also revisits the priest whose words at 16 carried more weight than God or her own intuition, and what that cost her. Here's the truth: your call from God is not a conference call. The people who love you don't get a vote. If you're ready to hear your own still small voice again, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that work starts. Book at aholymess.com. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why a "Diet Coke" comment about her faith triggered her, and why the anger didn't last The opinions that wound you most come from people you love, not strangers A client who left the top of his career for ministry, and what pulled him back How a priest's words at 16 outranked God and Dani's own intuition for years What to do with well-meaning people who weren't on your call from God Why seeking counsel from people who play small keeps you small too Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who's been waiting on someone else's permission. 🤍

  7. Sep 2

    244. One Degree of Change: The Self-Care Habits That Actually Move the Needle to Help Your Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Health

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner You're taking care of everyone else's needs, grinding through obligations, and somewhere along the way the simple stuff got buried: sleep, water, a walk, the massage you keep pushing off. Dani recorded this one fresh off the massage table, frizzy hair and all, and she came with something on her heart. Your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health are not optional maintenance. They are the work. Whether you're in recovery, navigating anxiety, processing a hard season, or just trying to function like a human, the simple things you keep skipping are actually the big things. Dani gets real about the whack-a-mole of mental health, why "this is how it's gonna be forever" is a lie, and what it means to stop setting up camp in Victimville. She talks about being seen and validated AND getting the kick in the ass it takes to actually move through the hard stuff rather than living in it. The journey is the healing, and Emmanuel, God with us, is in the mess with you right now. If you're ready to stop skipping the deep work and actually move through it with someone in your corner, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that happens. Start at aholymess.com.   In this episode, Dani talks about:   She recorded this right after a massage — and what that act of self-care says about the whole episode's message The whack-a-mole of mental health, and why "this is how it's gonna be forever" is the lie you need to stop believing Why being seen and validated matters AND why Dani won't let her clients (or you) set up permanent camp in Victimville Why 70% of even her business coaching sessions end up being about inner work, not strategy One degree of change: the small, unglamorous things that tell your soul it matters Emmanuel, God with us, in the muck — not in spite of the struggle, but right in the middle of it   Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

  8. Aug 19

    243. From Shame to Purpose: Why Your Story Is Someone Else's Medicine

    📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner Embracing the Messiness of Life: Why Your Story Is Someone Else's Medicine Dani is fired up today. Fair warning: if little kids are nearby, AirPods in. You can't numb your pain without also numbing your joy. When you go numb on one end of the emotional spectrum, you go numb on all of it. Real healing means building the capacity to feel all of it, and here's what Dani knows for certain: we've all survived 100% of our worst days so far. C.S. Lewis said it best: you can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. For years Dani wanted to rewrite her story, undo what happened, undo what she'd done. That was a fool's errand. The work was never going back. It was learning to embrace the broken, fragile parts that had lived through hell and letting God breathe life into them. And here's the thing that changes everything: God wants to use the hardest things you've been through to help someone else. You don't need to be fully healed. You might just have a little limp. That limp is a war wound, and it taught you something. Revelation 12:11 says it plainly: by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, people are healed. Your mess is not for nothing. Helping others is the medicine. That's exactly why Dani created the Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification: for the people who've lived through the school of hard knocks and are ready to turn that wisdom into something that helps others do the same. Joel 2:25: God will restore the years the locusts have eaten. He's not done with you. In this episode, Dani talks about: Why you can't numb your pain without also numbing your joy, and what building emotional capacity actually looks like "We've all survived 100% of our worst days so far" and what that means for the days ahead The C.S. Lewis quote that changed Dani's relationship with her own story "Never trust a man without a limp": why your wounds are your greatest wisdom and your most powerful tool for helping others Why helping others is sometimes the exact medicine you need to heal yourself, and what Revelation 12:11 has to do with it The Messy Life Transformation Certification: for school of hard knocks graduates who want a framework for turning their story into real transformation for others Glad you're here, Dani Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone. If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

See All (252)

Trailer

5
out of 5
181 Ratings

About

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place! Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity. Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose. There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help. Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet. If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place. We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

Information

You Might Also Like