You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist

Stephanie Winn
  • 4.4 (173)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast at the intersection of psychology and culture that intimately explores the human experience and critiques the counseling profession. Your host, Stephanie Winn, distills wisdom gained from her practice as a family therapist and coach while pivoting towards questions of how to apply a practical understanding of psychology to the novel dilemmas of the 21st century, from political polarization to medical malpractice. What does ethical mental health care look like in a normless age, as our moral compasses spin in search of true north? How can therapists treat patients under pressure to affirm everything from the notion of "gender identity" to assisted suicide? Primarily a long-form interview podcast, Stephanie invites unorthodox, free-thinking guests from many walks of life, including counselors, social workers, medical professionals, writers, researchers, and people with unique lived experience, such as detransitioners. Curious about many things, Stephanie’s interdisciplinary psychological lens investigates challenging social issues and inspires transformation in the self, relationships, and society. She is known for bringing calm warmth to painful subjects, and astute perceptiveness to ethically complex issues. Pick up a torch to illuminate the dark night and join us on this journey through the inner wilderness. You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist ranks in the top 1% globally according to ListenNotes. New episodes are released every Monday. Three and a half years after the show's inception in May of 2022, Stephanie became a Christian, representing the crystallization of moral, spiritual, and existential views she had been openly grappling with along with her audience and guests. Newer episodes (#188 forward) may sometimes reflect a Christian understanding, interwoven with and applied to the same issues the podcast has always addressed. The podcast remains diverse and continues to feature guests from all viewpoints.

  1. 2d ago

    219. Why ROGD Teens Tune Out Parents' Warnings — and the Alter-Casting Fix

    Why does your teen tune you out? It might have to do with the role your message unconsciously casts her in. "Alter-casting" refers to the way every message you send implicitly assigns a role or identity to the person you're speaking with. If the role you cast your child in conflicts with how they want to see themselves, your message will be rejected — no matter how accurate, loving, or urgent it is. I walk through a concrete example: a mother warning her teenage daughter about predators online. The mother's intention is protective love. What the daughter hears is: "You think I'm a naive, helpless child." That identity is intolerable to an adolescent fighting for autonomy — and so the message fails entirely. I explain how this same dynamic plays out when parents share detransitioner videos with their kids, and why that approach almost always backfires for this exact reason. The episode also covers practical tools from ROGD Repair, including the alter-casting Venn diagram (mapping the overlap between what you see in your child, and what they see in their idealized self-image, even if aspirational); the strategic use of self-deprecating humor and strategic naivete; and the accusation audit — a technique for front-loading anticipated criticism in a way that actually invites your child into a more generous, gracious response. I close with a broader reflection on what this work really is: seeing beneath the performance to the real person underneath, and helping them become who they're meant to be. This podcast episode doubles as an ROGD Repair bonus lesson. It can be found in the course here, along with homework questions to help you personalize the material. If you're a parent navigating these issues in your family, ROGD Repair can help you work smarter, not harder, to get through to your teen. Get access to over 120 lessons like this and more. Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take half off your first month at ROGDrepair.com. [00:00:00] Start[00:01:00] What Altercasting Is and Why It Matters[00:02:15] The Teen and the Predator Warning: A Case Study[00:05:00] Why Sharing Detransitioner Content Backfires[00:07:00] How to Cast Your Child in a Role They'll Accept[00:07:45] The Altercasting Venn Diagram Exercise[00:11:00] Why Failed Conversations Make the Next One Harder[00:12:00] Strategic Naivete and Self-Deprecating Humor[00:13:00] The Accusation Audit Tool[00:15:30] Reading Your Child's Self-Presentation Without Reacting[00:18:00] Early Intervention and the Cost of Waiting[00:26:30] Accepting Reality as the Path to Self-Actualization ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    33 min

  2. Jun 15

    218. Why Your Teen Thinks in Extremes — And What You Can Do About It

    In this solo episode, I'm diving into one of the most pervasive and underappreciated cognitive patterns I see across ROGD families: black-and-white thinking. It's the tendency to categorize everything in terms of two mutually exclusive extremes — all or nothing, perfect or ruined, success or failure — with no middle ground. I explain how this pattern is a normal feature of adolescent brain development, but becomes significantly amplified in kids with ADHD, autism, OCD, or anxiety — conditions that are highly comorbid with gender identity distress. I walk through real-world examples of how this thinking shows up in everyday family life, from refusing to go on a trip because homework isn't finished, to concluding that body discomfort during puberty means something is fundamentally wrong and must be medically corrected. I also explore how excessive screen use creates a vicious feedback cycle that stunts emotional intelligence and body awareness, leaving teenagers even more stuck in binary thinking. From there, I offer practical tools for parents: thinking out loud to model nuanced reasoning, scaffolding executive functioning through backward planning, and using "parts language" to help teens recognize and hold contradictory feelings simultaneously. I close by connecting all of it back to the gender question — because the same cognitive skill that helps a teen tolerate ambiguity in one area is the skill that can eventually let them hold space for uncertainty about their own identity. This solo episode doubles as a bonus lesson in ROGD Repair. Where this lesson is found in the course, it comes with a companion article, summary, and questions for reflection to help you personalize the material. Get this and 120+ more lessons on parenting gender-confused youth at ROGDrepair.com and use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take half off your first month. [00:00:00] Start[00:00:45] What Is Black-and-White Thinking?[00:01:45] Amplified in Neurodivergent and ROGD Kids[00:03:00] Body Discomfort Filtered Through All-or-Nothing Thinking[00:03:30] How Screens Make It Worse[00:06:30] Why Parents Must Restructure Screen Access[00:08:00] Modeling Nuance: Thinking Out Loud[00:11:00] Using Parts Language with Your Teen[00:12:30] How This Pattern Drives Gender Identity Conclusions[00:14:00] Building Tolerance for Ambiguity Over Time ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    17 min

  3. Jun 8

    217. "Gender Identity" as a Shell: What the Alter Ego Does for Your Child & How to Help Them Desist

    In this solo episode, I share one of my favorite metaphors for understanding how desistance actually unfolds in practice — because it rarely looks the way most parents hope it will. Many parents carry a fantasy version of desistance in their heads: a tearful moment of confession, an apology, a sudden reversal. That's almost never what happens. What actually happens is slower, messier, and far less dramatic — but still hopeful, if you know what you're looking at. The metaphor I use is the hermit crab. When a hermit crab outgrows its shell, it must find a new one before abandoning the old one. That terrifying moment of exposure between shells is something the crab instinctively avoids. For your trans-identified child, the alter ego identity is that old shell — it provides psychological structure and protection, answers the question "who am I?", and is doing real work for them even when it's causing harm. Desistance doesn't happen until a new shell exists to replace it. I walk parents through what those building blocks actually look like — moments of femininity, embodiment, taste, competence, nurturance, and authentic connection — and why it's so important not to connect those signs directly to gender. The way you respond to those building blocks either reinforces them or demolishes them. I also expand the definition of identity-building beyond gender expression to include real-world skills, relationships, experiences, and sources of self-esteem. The goal isn't just for the old shell to fall away — it's for your child to become someone who doesn't need a label to answer the question of who they are. This episode doubles as a bonus lesson in ROGD Repair. Where it can be found in the course, it also comes with a companion essay based on the transcript, a summary of key points, and reflection questions to help you personalize the material and apply it to your situation. Join today for access to lots more content like this! Enroll today at ROGDRepair.com. [00:00:00] Start[00:01:00] The Fantasy vs. Reality of Desistance[00:01:45] The Hermit Crab Metaphor Explained[00:03:00] Recognizing the Building Blocks of Desistance[00:06:30] Your Role as a Parent During This Phase[00:09:45] Identity Formation Beyond Gender Expression ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    14 min

  4. Jun 1

    216. Creating Conditions for Desistance: A Parent's Guide to ROGD Recovery

    In this solo episode, I pull back the curtain on the work I do the rest of the week as an ROGD parent coach. Most parents arrive with one goal in mind: convince their trans-identified child to stop believing in gender ideology. I explain why that's the wrong place to put your energy, and why I won't help you do it as a first step. The belief is downstream. There are two goals that actually matter, and they have to be held in the right order. The first is preserving bodily integrity — keeping your child intact and unaltered for as long as possible, because medicalization is the part of this story that does permanent damage. The second is creating the conditions that support your particular child's desistance: helping her want, on her own, to step away from the identity and reclaim the developmental years she's losing to building up an alter ego. I walk through what desistance actually looks like in practice — rarely a dramatic confession, more often a gradual, face-saving off-ramp through ally identities, sexuality labels, or shifting friend groups. I introduce the frame from my essay "The Load-Bearing Delusion": the identity isn't a free-floating belief you can argue away, it's propping up something fragile underneath. Pull on it and your kid holds tighter. Then I get practical about leverage. So much of what parents try to control — beliefs, bodies, social worlds — isn't really theirs to control. I map out what is: the emotional climate of your home, your tone, the structure and rules, the money, your own nervous system, and your vision of who your child can become. This is the foundation for the relationship you're building for fifteen years from now. This episode comes with a companion essay derived from the transcript. If you'd prefer to read rather than (or in addition to) listening, visit my Substack. [00:00:00] Start[00:01:00] The Two Goals: Reframing the Work[00:04:00] Starving Samantha, Feeding Ryan[00:07:00] What Desistance Actually Looks Like[00:13:00] The Load-Bearing Delusion[00:16:00] Where Your Real Leverage Lies[00:27:00] Regulating Yourself and Holding the Vision ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    38 min

  5. May 25

    215. Disenfranchised Dad, ROGD Kid: When Fathers Get Sidelined in Their Own Family

    In this short solo episode, I introduce you to a figure who shows up again and again in my ROGD parent coaching work: the disenfranchised dad. He's usually a decent man — hardworking, opinionated, loves his kids — but somewhere along the way he ended up on the outside of his own family's emotional life, looking in. His wife is the emotional center. The kids bring everything to her. He drifts to the periphery and starts commenting on dinner from across the room, and the family rolls its eyes. I unpack how this pattern develops: a temperament mismatch between a Gen X dad and a more sensitive child, a marriage dynamic where mom gradually takes over the kids' inner lives, and a cultural script that has trained fathers to undervalue their own role. I look at what this does to children — including how it can show up in trans-identified boys who opt out of masculinity entirely, and in trans-identified girls carrying an unread longing for a father's protective love. Most importantly, I talk about repair. The way back isn't a grand sit-down conversation; it's hundreds of small moments of presence, side-by-side time, and putting down the running commentary. Moms can help by stepping out of the gatekeeper role and letting dads back in. If you've been on the edge of your family for years, this episode is for you. If you’re a parent navigating these dynamics in your own family, I created ROGD Repair with you in mind. This podcast episode doubles as an ROGD Repair bonus lesson. In the course, it can be found here, along with a companion essay and reflection questions to help you personalize the material. There’s lots more content like this for you in the program. It’s the closest thing to working with me one-on-one as a coach. ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    25 min

  6. May 18

    214. Too Buddhist, Not Self-Hating Enough: Counseling Whistleblower Suzannah Alexander

    In this episode, I sit down with Suzannah Alexander — counseling-education whistleblower, writer of the Substack Diogenes in Exile, and now organizer with the National Association of Scholars. Suzannah enrolled in a Tennessee counseling master's program after 25 years as a stay-at-home parent, only to discover that what was being taught wasn't psychology at all. It was demographics, identity politics, and what she eventually came to call a totalitarian philosophy dressed up as "multicultural competency." We unpack the moment that broke her trust in the program: when she described the Buddhist practice of the non-self — focusing less on your own identity so you can extend loving kindness toward an aggressive client — three separate professors told her, within 48 hours, that this was "invalidating to other identities." She was ultimately deemed unsafe for practicum because she hadn't sufficiently absorbed the program's values around whiteness, privilege, and cultural deference. From there, the conversation widens into the structural picture. Suzannah walks us through CACREP, the accrediting body that's been quietly building a near-monopoly on counseling education, the ACA Code of Ethics that's now baked into most state licensure boards, and the consortium of organizations that decided — without testing whether any of it produces better clinical outcomes — that critical social justice ideology would be the "professional identity" of American counseling. We talk about why this matters for patients, what it does to the people who would have been excellent therapists, how we might build alternative training pathways and apprenticeship models outside the current system, and why the problems of the 21st century — including AI psychosis — will demand the kind of pioneering, free-thinking practitioners this ideology is actively driving out. Suzannah Alexander is the External Affairs Coordinator for the National Association of Scholars. She came to this work after blowing the whistle on ideological indoctrination in the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Master's program at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. Since that experience, through work with FAIR, she has spearheaded OCR complaints against the counseling accreditation body CACREP and Colorado State University, where her reporting work drew attention to the Whitelash Study, documenting public humiliation of white social work students due to their race, and the disparagement of minorities as not good enough to succeed on their own. Now she is focused on policy measures to curtail accreditor and higher education overreach that are threatening free speech on campus. Substack Diogenes in Exile: https://www.diogenesinexile.comX/twitter: https://x.com/DiogenesInExileYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@DiogenesInExileMinding The Campus: https://mindingthecampus.org/author/suzannahalexander/National Association of Scholars: https://www.nas.org [00:00:00] Start[00:04:59] What She Found In The Program[00:14:32] Steel-Manning Critical Social Justice[00:18:39] Pushed Out Before Practicum[00:24:05] The Bitter Irony Of Buddhism Rejected[00:34:37] Realizing The Problem Is Bigger[00:41:02] Counseling Futures And The Historical Roots[00:47:09] Who Gets To Be Okay?[00:56:37] What CACREP Is And Should Do[01:00:25] Microaggressions And Borderline Thinking[01:05:47] The CACREP Monopoly Explained[01:14:38] ACA Code Of Ethics And The Need For Alternatives[01:22:52] Mia Hughes Parallel And A Field Breaking Down[01:26:43] AI Psychosis And 21st-Century Problems[01:30:22] Building New Networks Outside The System ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    1h 48m

  7. May 4

    212. The Most Dangerous Moment: The 30 Seconds That Determine Whether Your Child Opens Up Again

    Instead of a long-form interview, this week I'm reading you an essay I wrote called The Most Dangerous Moment in the Conversation: What To Do and What Not To Do When Your Child Finally Opens Up. It originally appeared inside ROGD Repair, my comprehensive program for parents of trans-identified youth, and I wanted it to reach more people. If your child is living inside a trans identity, most of the time she shows you nothing — composed, contained, deliberately blank. And then one day, out of nowhere, a seam shows. A flash of urgency. A disproportionate demand. A flicker of alarm about who will be at a party. These are what I call fractal windows: ordinary-looking moments where the entire architecture of the anxiety organizing her life becomes briefly visible. In this episode I unpack what those moments actually are, why they matter, and how to handle them without slamming the door shut. The core tool I want to put in your hands is the empathic guess — a tentative, careful statement that names what your child might be feeling, without diagnosing, arguing, or correcting. I walk through what to say, what not to say, and why the 30 seconds after she finally says something real just might be the most dangerous point in the entire process. That's where almost every parent's instincts pull them in exactly the wrong direction — toward defending themselves, correcting the factual or ideological distortions, or winning the point. I'll explain why staying in the emotional register (instead of the logical one) is the whole game, why "permission to buy time" is one of the most underused parenting tools, and what you are actually building over many such conversations: a pattern in your child's nervous system that says: I opened up to my parent, something okay happened, I could do that again. [00:00:00] Start[00:00:25] When Your Child Finally Opens Up[00:01:33] Fractal Windows And The Cost Of A Trans Identity[00:03:24] The Outermost Knot: Why You Can't Say It All At Once[00:04:13] Introducing The Empathic Guess[00:05:05] Stay In The Emotional Register, Not The Logical One[00:06:33] When The Empathic Guess Lands: The Walls Come Down[00:07:50] The Pull To Correct Ideological Distortions[00:08:47] Why You Are Not Endorsing By Not Arguing[00:09:36] Listen, Reflect, Don't Defend[00:10:24] Permission To Buy Time[00:11:10] What You're Really Building: A Nervous System Pattern[00:11:40] About ROGD Repair And Today's Experiment[00:14:44] Closing Thoughts ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

    16 min

  8. Apr 27

    211. Mia Hughes: Trans as an Extreme Overvalued Belief — Cracking the Code

    In this episode, I welcome back Mia Hughes — director of Genspect Canada, senior fellow at the Macdonald-Laurier Institute, and one of the sharpest writers on the gender scandal — to dig into the framework she calls "trans as an extreme overvalued belief." Mia walks us through the history of the overvalued idea, from Carl Wernicke in 1892 to Paul McHugh's post-9/11 application of the concept to ideologically driven violence, and explains why this psychiatric category — sitting between delusion and obsession — finally makes sense of the trans phenomenon in a way no other diagnosis ever has. We trace the Dutch origins of medical transition in the 1970s, the moment psychiatry "gave up" on these patients, and how WPATH's 2010 de-psychopathologization statement re-engineered a mental illness into a celebrated identity — triggering, in Mia's view, the social contagion that followed. I bring my clinical lens to the conversation, exploring transference and countertransference, neuroplasticity, the hijacking of dopamine through "gender euphoria," and why so many therapists get this wrong in both directions. We close on Mia's anorexia parallel and what it teaches us about loosening the grip of a pathological belief — gently, indirectly, and without the parent in the line of fire. Mia Hughes specializes in researching pediatric gender medicine, psychiatric epidemics, social contagion and the intersection of trans rights and women’s rights. She is the author of The WPATH Files, a senior fellow at the Macdonald-Laurier Institute and director of Genspect Canada. She co-hosts the Beyond Gender podcast with Stella O'Malley and Bret Alderman, available on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Follow her on X @_CryMiaRiver. Follow her Substack @CryMiaRiver. Mia first appeared on this podcast in episode 107. Exposing Gender Malpractice: Mia Hughes on the WPATH Files, Medical Ethics, & Informed Consent. Books mentioned in this episode:• The Extreme Overvalued Belief by Tahir Rahman• Good Girls: A Study and Story of Anorexia by Hadley Freeman [00:00:00] Start[00:02:13] Trans as an Extreme Overvalued Belief[00:07:13] From 9/11 to Anders Breivik[00:11:13] Neuroplasticity and Adolescent Meaning-Making[00:18:52] Defining the Trans Overvalued Belief[00:22:52] The Dutch 1970s: When Psychiatry Gave Up[00:31:00] Countertransference and the Therapist's Role[00:38:35] WPATH's Fortress and the True Believer[00:43:20] Re-Psychopathologization Campaign[00:45:45] How HBIGDA Became WPATH[00:50:13] DSM-5, ICD-11 and the Sleight of Hand[01:02:08] Hacking Dopamine and Gender Euphoria[01:06:27] The Anorexia Parallel[01:13:13] What Therapists Get Wrong[01:28:45] Putting Cracks in the Belief[01:35:26] Helping the Part That Wants Out ROGD REPAIR Course + Community gives concerned parents instant access to over 120 lessons providing the psychological insights and communication tools you need to get through to your kid. Now featuring 24/7 personalized AI support implementing the tools with RepairBot! Use code SOMETHERAPIST2026 to take 50% off your first month. PODCOURSES: use code SOMETHERAPIST at LisaMustard.com/PodCourses PRODUCTION: Looking for your own podcast producer? Visit PodsByNick.com and mention my podcast for 20% off your initial services. MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.  ALL OTHER LINKS HERE. To support this show, please leave a rating & review on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe, like, comment & share via my YouTube channel. Or recommend this to a friend! Learn more about Do No Harm. Take $200 off your EightSleep Pod Pro Cover with code SOMETHERAPIST at EightSleep.com. Take 20% off all superfood beverages with code SOMETHERAPIST at Organifi. Check out my shop for book recommendations + wellness products. Show notes & transcript provided with the help of SwellAI. Special thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our theme song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude and permission. Watch NO WAY BACK: The Reality of Gender-Affirming Care (our medical ethics documentary, formerly known as Affirmation Generation). Stream the film or purchase a DVD. Use code SOMETHERAPIST to take 20% off your order. Follow us on X @2022affirmation or Instagram at @affirmationgeneration. Have a question for me? Looking to go deeper and discuss these ideas with other listeners? Join my Locals community! Members get to ask questions I will respond to in exclusive, members-only livestreams, post questions for upcoming guests to answer, plus other perks TBD. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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About

A podcast at the intersection of psychology and culture that intimately explores the human experience and critiques the counseling profession. Your host, Stephanie Winn, distills wisdom gained from her practice as a family therapist and coach while pivoting towards questions of how to apply a practical understanding of psychology to the novel dilemmas of the 21st century, from political polarization to medical malpractice. What does ethical mental health care look like in a normless age, as our moral compasses spin in search of true north? How can therapists treat patients under pressure to affirm everything from the notion of "gender identity" to assisted suicide? Primarily a long-form interview podcast, Stephanie invites unorthodox, free-thinking guests from many walks of life, including counselors, social workers, medical professionals, writers, researchers, and people with unique lived experience, such as detransitioners. Curious about many things, Stephanie’s interdisciplinary psychological lens investigates challenging social issues and inspires transformation in the self, relationships, and society. She is known for bringing calm warmth to painful subjects, and astute perceptiveness to ethically complex issues. Pick up a torch to illuminate the dark night and join us on this journey through the inner wilderness. You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist ranks in the top 1% globally according to ListenNotes. New episodes are released every Monday. Three and a half years after the show's inception in May of 2022, Stephanie became a Christian, representing the crystallization of moral, spiritual, and existential views she had been openly grappling with along with her audience and guests. Newer episodes (#188 forward) may sometimes reflect a Christian understanding, interwoven with and applied to the same issues the podcast has always addressed. The podcast remains diverse and continues to feature guests from all viewpoints.

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