How To Deal With Grief and Trauma

Nathalie Himmelrich
  • 4.9 (29)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

You can't go through life without experiencing loss and trauma the question is how do we deal and live with the grief and pain? Join Nathalie Himmelrich, grief expert and author, talking to people who have experienced grief and trauma first-hand. If you want to be inspired by others who traveled through their grief and trauma, found that healing is possible, and came out the other end knowing they can survive and thrive in life after loss. For more info: www.nathaliehimmelrich.com

  1. 6d ago

    Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: How to Build Real Support for Grieving Families | 207

    Send us Fan Mail Today, 15 October, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In this episode I move beyond what to say and focus on how to build support around a grieving family, and how to keep it going over time. For grieving parents, I share practical questions to help you find the right support for yourself, ways to support each other as a couple when you grieve differently, and how to include and protect your other children. For grandparents, aunts and uncles, I introduce the Circles of Support model and its simple rule: comfort in, dump out. For supporters, I walk through how support needs to change from the first days to the first weeks, months and years. And for friends, I share the story of firefighters and builders, so you can ask yourself honestly which one you are, or whether you are neither. I close with an invitation to join the International Wave of Light tonight at 7 pm. "Support is not a single act. It is a relationship that continues." Who this is for: Parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings. Friends, colleagues and professionals who want to support a grieving family not only in the first days, but for the long term. In this episode Finding the right support for yourself after the death of your babySupporting each other as a couple when you grieve differentlyIncluding and protecting siblingsCircles of Support for grandparents and the wider family: comfort in, dump outHow support needs to change: the first days, weeks, months and yearsFirefighters and builders: which kind of friend are you?The Wave of Light, 15 October at 7 pmChapters 00:00 Intro October 15 Wave of Light 01:32 Welcome & Overview02:42 Support Does Not Arrive by Itself04:05 For Grieving Families: Support for Yourself07:31 Spread Your Support08:30 Support for Each Other as a Couple10:50 Your Other Children12:54 Speak Up14:13 The Wider Family: Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles18:24 Supporters: Support Over Time21:08 Friends: Are You a Firefighter or a Builder?25:17 Continuous Support26:21 The Wave of LightCircles Mentioned in this episode Circles of Support (blog): nathaliehimmelrich.com/circles-of-support/Episode 106, When Loss Reshapes Our CircleEpisode 205, PAIL Awareness Month: Dos and Don'tsEpisode 201, Grief and TimeBook: Grieving Parents: Surviving Loss as a CoupleBook: Bridging the Grief GapAccess free resources: nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub If this episode helped you, please rate the podcast with five stars and leave a short review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It takes less than a minute and helps other grieving families find these conversations. Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

  2. Oct 9

    Breast Cancer Awareness Month: The Hidden Grief and Trauma of Breast Cancer | 206

    Send us Fan Mail October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and most of what we see is about early detection and survival. Both matter. But there is a side of breast cancer that rarely makes it onto a poster: the grief and the trauma. The losses that happen long before, and very often without, any death. The fear that stays in the body after treatment ends. And the quiet exhaustion of the people standing beside someone who is ill. In this episode, I map out how many people are affected worldwide, including men, and then look at breast cancer through two lenses. As grief: the losses of body, hair, trust, fertility, intimacy, identity and an assumed future. And as trauma: the "before and after" moment of diagnosis, medical trauma, fear of recurrence, and why your nervous system is protecting you, not failing you. I speak to people who have been diagnosed, to partners, families and friends, to those living with metastatic breast cancer, and to those who have lost someone to breast cancer. "You can be deeply grateful to be alive, and deeply sad about what you have lost. Both are true. Both are allowed." Who this is for: Anyone who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, at any stage, women and men. Partners, children, parents and friends walking alongside them. People living with metastatic breast cancer. Anyone grieving someone who died of breast cancer. And professionals who support them. In this episode: How many people breast cancer affects worldwide, including menThe losses no one calls griefWhen a diagnosis becomes trauma, and fear of recurrenceYou don't have to be brave all the timeFor partners, families and friends: what helpsLiving with metastatic breast cancerIf you have lost someone to breast cancerA short grounding practiceChapters: 00:00 Intro Breast Cancer Awareness01:19 Welcome04:01 The Statistics06:15 Grief and Trauma07:37 The Losses No One Calls Grief11:45 When a Breast Cancer Diagnosis Becomes Trauma14:01 What Does Trauma After Breast Cancer Look Like15:57 SSP Safe and Sound Protocol16:25 You Don't Have to be Brave All The Time17:51 If You Are Supporting Someone With Breast Cancer20:57 Men Experiencing Breast Cancer21:30 People With Metastatic Breast Cancer23:26 If You Have Lost Someone Through Breast Cancer1528.7208321528.72083225:29 Closing Exercise27:30 Where To Go From Here29:22 Where to Find Support30:12 If You Are Affected Episodes mentioned: 15 Amie Lands, 72 Hope Edelman, 74 Diana Richardson, 75 David Kessler, 106 Friendship After Grief and Trauma, 111 Anticipatory Grief, 114 Disenfranchised Grief, 117 Secondary Loss Grief, 134 Identity-Related Grief, 136 Non-death Loss, 163 When the Body Learns Danger, 170 Single-Incident Trauma, 171 Medical and Birth Trauma, 190 Mourning Someone Who Is Still Alive, 197 Deb Dana, 201 Grief and Time, 207 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness (next Wednesday). Full archive: nathaliehimmelrich.com/episode-overview-latest-episode-first/ Support lines:  Switzerland, KrebsInfo 0800 11 88 11 Germany, Krebsinformationsdienst 0800 420 30 40 UK, Breast Cancer Now 0808 800 6000 USA, American Cancer Society 1-800-227-2345 (24/7) Australia, Cancer Council 13 11 20Access free resources: nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub If this episode helped you, please rate the podcast with five stars and leave a short review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It takes less than a minute and helps others find these conversations when they need them. Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

  3. Oct 1

    Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month: Dos and Don'ts for Bereaved Parents and Supporters | 205

    Send us Fan Mail 31 Days PAIL Companion: Start here October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and on 15 October, families worldwide light a candle at 7 pm for the International Wave of Light. In this episode, I look at where this month came from, why pregnancy and infant loss remains one of the most silenced losses, and what both grieving parents and their supporters can do differently. I bring together the 2025 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness mini-series (episodes 142 to 157), its guest conversations and paired episodes for parents and for supporters, and turn them into two clear lists of dos and don'ts. One for you if your baby has died. One for you if you are standing beside someone whose baby has died. I also share a personal note fifteen years after the death of my daughter Amaya, offer simple ways to mark 15 October, and point you to the exact episodes in the archive to return to, depending on where you are right now. "You do not need the perfect words. What hurts most is not the clumsy sentence. It is the silence." Who this is for: Parents who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss, at any time. Partners, grandparents and siblings. Friends, colleagues and professionals who want to support bereaved parents without saying the wrong thing. In this episode: The history of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month and the Wave of LightA recap of the 2025 PAIL mini-series, episodes 142 to 157Dos and don'ts for grieving parentsDos and don'ts for supporters, including what to say and what not to sayWays to mark 15 OctoberWhere to start in the archiveEpisodes mentioned: 142, 144 to 157 (PAIL Mini Series), 201 Grief and Time. Full list: nathaliehimmelrich.com/pregnancy-and-infant-loss-awareness-mini-series/ Access free resources: nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub If this episode helped you, please rate the podcast with five stars and leave a short review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It takes less than a minute and helps other grieving parents find these conversations. Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

  4. Sep 23

    The Questions We Ask About Memory After Grief and Trauma | 204

    Send us Fan Mail Grief and trauma both change how memory works, and almost everyone going through either one ends up asking the same handful of questions. In this episode, we go through eleven of the most common ones: five about what trauma does to memory of the event itself, and six about what grief does to memory of the person who died. For each one, we look at what the research and clinical literature say is happening, so the goal isn't to explain the pain away, but to show these are documented, well-understood responses, not signs something is wrong with you. Chapters 00:49 Most Asked Questions on Grief and Trauma02:10 Most Asked Questions Regarding Trauma 02:37 Most Asked Questions Regarding GriefOn trauma and what people remember: 03:50 Trauma: Why Can't I Remember Key Parts?05:15 Why Are Some Details Razor-sharp and Others Just Gone? 06:54 Is My Memory Even Accurate, or Am I Making It Up?09:30 Why Does It Feel like It's Happening Again, Right Now?10:51 What Are These Images and Sensations That Keep Intruding on MeOn grief and the memory of the person they lost:  12:19 Grief: Will I Forget Their Voice, Their Face, Their Smell?14:12 Why Can't I Stop Thinking about Them?15:40 Why Do I Keep 'seeing' Them, or Dreaming They're Still Alive?17:30 Am I the Only One Afraid That Other People Will Forget Them Too? 19:32 Why Do I Feel Guilty about My Memories of Them, Either Way?22:00 Why Does the Longing Still Come in Waves, Even Years Later Related Episodes E87 Grief Dreams and What They Can Tell Us with Dr Joshua BlackE201 Grief and Time: What 15 Years Taught Me About Loss vs. GrievingSources and Citations General memory science (Harvard Health): Memory — Harvard HealthMemories: Learning, remembering, (not) forgetting — Harvard HealthFlaws of normal memory — Harvard HealthTrauma and stress (Harvard Health): Protect your brain from stress — Harvard Health, featuring Dr Kerry Ressler, Harvard Medical SchoolGrief and bereavement (Harvard Health): How to deal with grief — Harvard Health, featuring David H. Rosmarin, McLean HospitalHow to overcome grief's health-damaging effects — Harvard Health, featuring Dr Eric BuiGetting stuck in long-term grief — Harvard Health, featuring Sue Morris, Dana-Farber Cancer InstituteBeyond bereavement — Harvard HealthOn the specific trauma-memory questions: Top questions about trauma, PTSD, and therapy — Dr Valentina Stoycheva, STEPS (Stress & Trauma Evaluation and Psychological Services)Fragmented memories: how trauma can cause memory loss — domesticshelters.org, featuring Dr Edie ZusmanCommon myths about memory for trauma — Rachel Goldsmith and M. Rose Barlow, University of OregonOn the specific grief-memory questions: The fear of forgetting — Maria Kubitz, Alive in MemoryAdults' reactions to bereavement — NCBI Bookshelf, citing Lindemann (1944) and Beverly Raphael Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

  5. Sep 17

    Grief, Shame, and the Soul's Work: A Conversation with Francis Weller Part 2 | 203

    Send us Fan Mail This is Part 2 of the Conversation with Francis Weller. If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, start here. There are voices in the grief world that stop you in your tracks — not because they are loud, but because they carry something true. Francis Weller is one of those voices. I have followed his work for some time, moved by the depth of his writing and the rare quality of his presence, and I have long wanted to bring him into this conversation. Today, that moment has arrived, and I am genuinely looking forward to what we will explore together. Francis brings to this work something that is not easy to name but impossible to miss — a willingness to sit inside the hardest human experiences without rushing toward resolution, and a gift for language that meets grief where it actually lives. In this episode, we cover 02:37 Trauma and Grief04:09 Titrating the Trauma to Work With Grief12:00 Where Did the Interest in Soul, Ritual, etc. Start?13:44 What Has Claimed Me?18:03 The Gift22:22 First Steps to Care For Your SoulAbout today's guest Francis Weller is a psychotherapist, writer, and soul activist. Author of the bestselling The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief and In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. His writing and voice have appeared in anthologies, journals, and media such as Anderson Cooper's All There Is podcast, The Sun, Utne Reader, Kosmos Journal, and Ruminate. He is currently completing his fourth book, Facing the World with Soul and Why It Matters. Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

    Grief, Shame, and the Soul's Work: A Conversation with Francis Weller Part 2 | 203

  6. Sep 11

    Grief, Shame, and the Soul's Work: A Conversation with Francis Weller Part 1 | 202

    Send us Fan Mail There are voices in the grief world that stop you in your tracks — not because they are loud, but because they carry something true. Francis Weller is one of those voices. I have followed his work for some time, moved by the depth of his writing and the rare quality of his presence, and I have long wanted to bring him into this conversation. Today, that moment has arrived, and I am genuinely looking forward to what we will explore together. Francis brings to this work something that is not easy to name but impossible to miss — a willingness to sit inside the hardest human experiences without rushing toward resolution, and a gift for language that meets grief where it actually lives. In this episode, we cover 06:00 Becoming Acquainted With the Customs of Sorrow and Grief07:06 People Feeling Sorrow Differently - Why?08:38 The Two Primary Sins of the Western World09:51 Places to Take Grief to11:19 Grief is Never Far12:08 Cultivating an Apprenticeship with Sorrow21:22 My Anchor in Grief24:09 Learning to Trust Grief27:04 Every Human is a Carrier of Grief34:05 What Happens on Grief Retreats?About today's guest Francis Weller is a psychotherapist, writer, and soul activist. Author of the bestselling The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief and In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. His writing and voice have appeared in anthologies, journals, and media such as Anderson Cooper's All There Is podcast, The Sun, Utne Reader, Kosmos Journal, and Ruminate. He is currently completing his fourth book, Facing the World with Soul and Why It Matters. Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

    Grief, Shame, and the Soul's Work: A Conversation with Francis Weller Part 1 | 202

  7. Sep 3

    Grief and Time: What 15 Years Taught Me About Loss vs. Grieving | 201

    Send us Fan Mail This episode is different. Instead of sitting across from a guest, I am the one in the chair. Fifteen years ago, my daughter Amaya was born at 34 weeks and 5 days — about five weeks early — alongside her identical twin sister, and died two days later after we made the hardest decision of our lives. In this solo episode, recorded on the anniversary itself, I walk you through that week in the NICU — and then through what fifteen years of time has, and hasn't, done to my grief. My intention isn't to dwell on the loss itself, but on the question underneath it: what does time actually do to grief? I share the distinction I've come to rely on with my own clients — that loss is a fact, unchanging, while grieving is a living process that keeps changing shape. I also look at how memory itself works, why some moments from that week are as vivid today as they were then, and why fifteen years haven't erased the sadness — nor should it. "Loss is a fact. It will not change, as much as you want it to. Grieving, however, is a process — and this is why I prefer 'grieving' over 'grief.'" If you're carrying a loss that people expect you to be "over" by now, if you've ever been told time heals all wounds and wondered why it hasn't for you, or if you support someone whose grief doesn't fit a tidy timeline, this episode is for you. Free resources mentioned in this episode are available at nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub, including the Beginner's Guide to Dealing with Grief and Trauma. Rate this podcast five stars if it helps you feel less alone. It takes thirty seconds and helps more grieving and traumatised people find this show when they need it most. Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

  8. Jun 21

    Grief and Trauma Podcast: 4-Year Anniversary Edition | 200

    Send us Fan Mail On the 21st of June 2026, this podcast turns four years old. In this anniversary episode, I step away from the interview format to speak directly to the people who have made this show what it is: the guests who gave their time and their honesty, and the listeners who showed up week after week — in the hardest seasons of their lives — and kept listening. This episode is a thank-you, a reflection, and a request. I talk about what four years of conversations about grief and trauma have taught me, what I have witnessed in the impact these conversations have had on listeners, and what I am asking of this community as we move into year five. If this podcast has ever helped you — even once — this episode is for you. And if you know someone who is grieving, please share it with them. Leave a review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | wherever you listen Send me a message: Use the ‘Send a Text’ button in the show notes Full episode archive: nathaliehimmelrich.com/episode-overview-latest-episode-first/ If this podcast is helping you, please consider leaving a 5-star review — it helps more people find this content when they need it most. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome 00:49 Today's episode 4th anniversary 02:26 Part 1: The guests 05:10 Part 2: What I have witnessed in these conversations 07:44 Part 3: What this has made possible for listeners 10:50 Part 4: A request 12:15 Please leave a review Support the show 💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.  🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!💛 Socials   Instagram   FacebookFind Support Resources  💜 For Grievers – Resources https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/💜 Support – Offers - free and paid  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources-hub/

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About

You can't go through life without experiencing loss and trauma the question is how do we deal and live with the grief and pain? Join Nathalie Himmelrich, grief expert and author, talking to people who have experienced grief and trauma first-hand. If you want to be inspired by others who traveled through their grief and trauma, found that healing is possible, and came out the other end knowing they can survive and thrive in life after loss. For more info: www.nathaliehimmelrich.com

Information

  • Creator
    Nathalie Himmelrich
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    217
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 How To Deal With Grief and Trauma
  • Show Website
    How To Deal With Grief and Trauma

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