Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Heather Shannon

Sex For Couples is a podcast for committed couples who feel stressed, guilty, or frustrated about their sex life—and want to feel excited, close, and playful again. New episodes are released every Monday. Hosted by Heather Shannon, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with 19 years of experience as a counselor and coach, the show breaks down the emotional and psychological reasons intimacy fades and what actually helps couples reconnect. Heather has been featured on BloomTV and quoted in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, SELF, Glamour, and more. She is a Gottman-trained couples counselor, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and has spent 13 years as a practicing Buddhist. Through both solo and guest episodes, Sex For Couples offers approachable advice, open conversations, and helpful tools so couples can communicate better about sex, reduce shame and stigma, and enjoy rediscovering each other. This podcast isn’t about performance or perfection—it’s about helping couples stop overthinking sex and start having fun with it again. For more on Heather's work, visit HeatherShannnon.co. NOTE: This show was formerly called "Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon" and was renamed on Valentine's Day, 2026. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

  1. 6D AGO

    How to Fix Mismatched Libidos Without Pressure or Resentment

    Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think. In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going. If you’ve ever felt like: Your partner “should” want sex moreYou’re constantly navigating pressure or rejectionEmotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life …this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently. What You’ll Learn: Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacyThe hidden ways higher desire partners create pressureWhy emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sexHow to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressureThe role of childhood conditioning in your sex life Guest Resources Mentioned: Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage AdviceMonica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/ ❤️ Ready to improve your sex life? Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship: 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com Or, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation: 👉 https://HeatherShannon.co This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    45 min
  2. APR 27

    3 Ways Non-Monogamy Goes Wrong (And Why It Feels So Unsafe)

    Thinking about opening your relationship—but already feeling tension, anxiety, or uncertainty? You’re not alone. For many couples, conversations about non-monogamy or open relationships quickly become overwhelming. One partner may feel excited and ready to explore, while the other feels hesitant, worried, or emotionally unsafe. In this episode, I break down why that happens—and how to approach non-monogamy in a way that actually supports your relationship instead of destabilizing it. Because the truth is: 👉 Non-monogamy isn’t the problem. 👉 The issue is how couples navigate it—especially when emotional safety isn’t fully established. 🔑 What You’ll LearnWhy non-monogamy often feels unsafe early on (even when both people are open to it)The #1 mistake couples make: moving too fast—in conversations or actionsHow non-monogamy can quietly become one-sided (and lead to resentment)Why staying surface-level in communication creates more insecurityWhat it actually takes to build emotional safety in open relationshipsWhy even doing everything “right” won’t make the process perfect—and what to expect instead ❤️ Who This Episode Is ForThis episode is especially helpful if: You’re just starting to discuss non-monogamyOne of you is excited—and the other is unsureYou’ve tried opening things up and it didn’t go wellYou want to explore ethically without damaging trustYou’re navigating differences in sexual desire, curiosity, or identity 🧭 Free ResourceWant help figuring out what non-monogamy could actually look like for you? Download my Quick Start Guide to Non-Monogamy Options—a practical overview of different relationship structures and ways to explore safely: 👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/ELDCt5tG 💬 Work With MeIf you want support navigating this with your partner—especially if things feel tense, confusing, or emotionally loaded—I can help. I specialize in helping couples work through: navigating non-monogamy, kink differences, and mismatched libidos. 👉 Book a consultation here: https://HeatherShannon.co 🔗 Keywordsnon-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, how to open a relationship, non-monogamous relationship advice, relationship communication, emotional safety in relationships, polyamory, swinging, sexual compatibility, couples therapy, intimacy coaching This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    24 min
  3. APR 20

    Why Non-Monogamy Can Save Your Relationship

    Non-monogamy is usually seen as something that destroys relationships. But what if, in some cases, it can actually save them? In this episode, I’m talking with a non-monogamy expert about a perspective that challenges everything most couples have been taught about love, sex, and commitment. We explore how Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) and Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM) can sometimes be a more honest and sustainable way to navigate real relationship challenges—especially when it comes to mismatched libidos, unmet needs, and resentment. This isn’t about telling you to open your relationship. It’s about helping you think more clearly about: What you actually needWhat your partner can realistically provideAnd what options exist beyond the default model of monogamy We also get into: Why expecting one person to meet all your needs can create pressure and disconnectionHow resentment builds when sexual needs go unmetThe difference between choosing monogamy vs defaulting into itHow people navigate open relationships, polyamory, and other forms of non-monogamyThe role of honesty, communication, and emotional security in polyamorous relationshipsWhy some couples explore swinging, swingers communities, or other forms of shared sexual experiencesThe emotional realities (not just the fantasy) of ethical non-monogamy We also talk about the different roles partners can play—and why one person often can’t be everything for you over time. Whether you’re firmly monogamous, curious about ENM, or somewhere in between, this episode will give you a new lens on relationships, desire, and what it actually means to get your needs met. 🔗 Links & ResourcesTake the quiz: Discover what’s really causing your intimacy issues 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com Request a consultation for Heather's Pathway To Passion Coaching Program 👉 https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite Learn more about our guest Cidney Green and buy her new book All 3 Of Me 👉 https://www.all3inme.com/ This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    53 min
  4. APR 13

    3 Mistakes Couples Make When Sharing Sexual Fantasies

    Thinking about sharing a sexual fantasy—but worried your partner will see you differently? This is where most couples unknowingly start creating distance instead of deeper intimacy. In this episode, we break down the 3 biggest mistakes couples make when sharing sexual fantasies—and why these patterns often lead to pressure, resentment, or emotional disconnection instead of closeness. If you’ve ever struggled with how to talk about sex, navigate kinks or fantasies, or handle differences in desire, this episode will give you a clear framework for doing it in a way that builds trust, emotional safety, and a more satisfying sex life What You’ll LearnHow shame around sexual fantasies creates distance in relationships Why avoiding conversations about sex limits intimacy and connection The hidden risk of pushing a fantasy too quickly after sharing it How pressure and urgency can lead to coercion (even unintentionally) Why your partner’s reaction is shaped by conditioning—not you The truth about being “sex-positive” without abandoning your boundaries How to handle mismatched sexual interests in a healthy way Ways to explore fantasies without being 100% sexually compatible Key TakeawaysOpen communication about sex is essential for long-term intimacyFantasies require consent, pacing, and emotional safetyShame, pressure, and people-pleasing are the biggest intimacy killersYou can accept your partner’s desires without participating in everythingGreat sex lives aren’t about perfect compatibility—they’re about how you navigate differences together Chapters 0:00 Introduction to the topic of sharing sexual fantasies and the common issues couples face.1:05 Introduction to the three biggest mistakes couples make.2:02 Mistake #13:23 Importance of openness and being sex-positive.4:19 Benefits of discussing sex more frequently.5:16 Normalizing conversations about sex.6:34 Importance of consent and communication in sexual relationships.7:31 Variety and novelty in long-term relationships.8:28 Understanding each other fully through sharing fantasies.9:27 Mistake #212:04 Mistake #316:03 Encouragement to maintain personal boundaries.21:32 Exploring fantasies in a healthy way.22:52 Conclusion and encouragement to seek help if needed.Resources & Next StepsIf you’re noticing patterns like holding back, pushing too fast, or going along with things that don’t feel right, that’s exactly what I help couples work through. 👉 Take the quiz to discover your relationship pattern and what’s really driving your sexual disconnect: https://TheBetterBedroom.com 👉 Want personalized support? Apply for a free consultation for my Pathway to Passion coaching program: https://HeatherShannon.co This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    25 min
  5. APR 6

    Why You Get Anxious During Sex (Even When You Want It)

    You want sex. You care about your relationship. But when things actually start to happen… something shifts. You get in your head. You feel anxious, disconnected, or unsure of yourself. And sometimes, you walk away wondering why it didn’t feel as good as you hoped—or even feeling shame or guilt. In this episode, I’m joined by sex therapist and Certified IFS Therapist, Patricia Rich, to unpack what’s really going on beneath that experience. Because it’s not just about libido. And it’s not something you can fix by trying harder or “being more confident.” We’re diving into how different “parts” of you can take over during sex—pulling you out of the moment, creating tension, and leaving you feeling disconnected from your own desire. Once you understand this, everything starts to make a lot more sense. 💡 What You’ll LearnWhy anxiety shows up during sex (even when you genuinely want it)How “parts” of you can override your desire and create inner conflictThe difference between being present vs. going on autopilot during sexWhy you might feel regret or disconnection afterwardA simple way to start reconnecting with yourself in the moment Chapters 00:00 Introduction to IFS and Sex Therapy 02:45 Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) 05:34 Exploring Parts in Sexuality 08:27 Vulnerability and Intimacy in Relationships 11:22 Self-Led Sexuality and Awareness 14:12 Curiosity and Differentiating Parts 17:05 Practical Application of IFS in Sexuality 23:21 Exploring Vulnerability and Playfulness 25:41 Navigating Safety and Judgment in Relationships 28:07 Understanding Parts and Their Needs 32:13 The Complexity of Human Emotions 36:28 Communication and Vulnerability in Relationships 41:06 The Goldilocks Approach to Therapy 44:58 Training and Resources for IFS in Sexuality 👩‍⚕️ About the GuestPatricia Rich is a sex therapist and certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and consultant. She specializes in helping people understand their inner world so they can experience more connection, clarity, and ease in their relationships and sex lives. 🔗 Learn more about Patricia’s work: https://patriciarich.com (update if needed based on exact link you prefer) Want Help Applying This?If this episode resonated with you, there are a couple ways to go deeper: 🔥 Take the Free QuizFind out what’s actually keeping you stuck: 👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com 💫 Work With MeIf you’re ready for personalized support, my Pathway to Passion coaching program helps you reconnect with your desire, improve communication, and create a sex life that actually feels good again. 👉 https://HeatherShannon.co 🎧 Loved This Episode?Make sure you’re following the show so you don’t miss future episodes on emotional intimacy, desire, and building a better sex life in your relationship. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    51 min
  6. MAR 30

    How To Figure Out Your Top Turn-Ons: A Simple Guide To Better Sex

    Sick of not knowing what you want in bed? Download The Free Sexy Scorecard now - https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/km5Dd3rf Figure out your sexual self so you can communicate better with your partner and experience more pleasure together. In this episode:Discover how understanding your current patterns can open doors to new experiencesLearn why stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to deeper connectionsFind out how curiosity can be your best friend in exploring desiresGet practical tips for trying new things without any pressureHear stories about how surprises can lead to delightful discoveriesCreate and share your own "treasure map" of interests with your partnerEmbrace lifelong learning and celebrate your evolving relationshipNavigate fears with kindness and authenticity Timestamps: 00:00 - Breaking free from routines and finding joy in the bedroom 02:14 - How comfort zones can be cozy yet limiting 03:37 - Recognizing patterns and opening up to new possibilities 05:02 - Keeping the conversation alive about what you truly desire 06:25 - Letting curiosity guide you past limiting beliefs 07:55 - Personal stories of growth and learning at any age 10:01 - Fun ways to categorize and explore your pleasures 11:27 - Crafting your own "pleasure menu" to savor life 12:23 - How desires change and grow over time 14:15 - Exploring safely and authentically, with a gentle touch 15:42 - Embracing surprises as clues to what lights you up 17:37 - Turning insights into shared moments of joy 19:03 - Keeping a "treasure map" of your evolving desires 21:13 - Understanding and celebrating your partner's journey too 22:38 - Remembering there's no "right" way—just your way 23:07 - Final thoughts: Celebrating sexuality as a lifelong adventure Resources & Links:Request a free consult for Heather's Pathway to Passion coaching program: https://HeatherShannon.co Sexual Exploraion Scorecard (Free Download) Take the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut quiz! https://TheBetterBedroom.com This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    25 min
  7. MAR 23

    How to Explore Your Attraction to Other Women (While Married to a Man)

    What happens when you feel attracted to another woman… but you’re in a committed relationship with a man? For a lot of women, this curiosity brings a mix of excitement, confusion, and uncertainty. You might wonder what it means, whether it’s worth exploring, or how to even begin without creating problems in your current relationship. In this episode, I’m joined by Genevieve LeJeune, founder of Skirt Club—a global community for bicurious and bisexual women—to talk about what this experience is actually like in real life. We get into the most common obstacles women face when exploring attraction to other women, why this can feel so hard to navigate, and what helps women feel safe enough to be honest with themselves and try something new. We also talk about: Why so many women discover this curiosity later in lifeThe difference between performance and genuine desireWhat makes exploration feel safe (and what doesn’t)How women navigate this while staying in a relationship with a manWhat it’s actually like to connect with another woman for the first time This is a grounded, real conversation about curiosity, identity, and creating space for parts of yourself that may have been pushed aside. Chapters00:00 -Overview of the community for bicurious women.01:30 - Genevieve LeJeune's journey from personal experience to creating a global movement.02:14 - The importance of removing men to foster genuine expression.04:27 - Tips and advice for women beginning their journey.13:50 -Navigating monogamy and non-monogamy in women's exploration.16:42 -How diverse age ranges influence openness to exploring sexuality.19:42 - Workshops and resources for building sexual confidence.22:17 - The impact of media portrayal on perceptions and expectations.33:30 - The role of shared vulnerability in healing and confidence.41:00 - Encouragement to explore sexuality with courage and authenticity.Links Check out Skirt Club: https://skirtclub.co.uk/ Schedule a free consult with Heather for the Pathway to Passion coaching program: Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call https://HeatherShannon.co Take the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    43 min
  8. MAR 16

    3 Reasons You Don’t Feel Desired by Your Partner

    You can have a loving partner who compliments you, supports you, and chooses you every day—and still feel completely undesired. The surprising truth is that the problem usually isn’t your partner’s attraction… it’s how desire is being interpreted and received in your relationship. Feeling sexually desired is one of the most powerful emotional experiences in a relationship. It boosts confidence, deepens connection, and brings energy into your partnership. But many people in long-term relationships quietly struggle with the opposite feeling: “My partner loves me… but I don’t feel wanted.” In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist and intimacy coach Heather Shannon explains why feeling desired can be more complicated than it seems. Even when your partner appreciates you and cares deeply about the relationship, subtle psychological patterns can block you from actually feeling their attraction. Heather breaks down three common reasons people stop feeling sexually desired by their partner, and how shifting your perspective can dramatically change how you experience attraction, connection, and intimacy. What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy feeling desired is partly an internal experience, not just something your partner createsHow an external locus of control can unintentionally make you feel rejected or unwantedThe subtle ways your partner may already be choosing you and expressing attraction that you might be missingHow old beliefs about worthiness or attractiveness can block you from receiving desireWhy couples often experience “mixed signals” around attraction even when both partners care deeplyHow body image, stress, and life transitions (like parenting or aging) can impact your ability to feel wantedPractical ways to start receiving your partner’s desire instead of dismissing it Want Help Improving Your Sex Life?If you’re struggling with mismatched libidos, emotional disconnect, or feeling unwanted in your relationship, Heather works with couples and individuals to address the deeper psychological patterns behind intimacy issues. Learn more about her Pathway to Passion coaching program and request a free consultation at: 👉 https://heathershannon.co Take the Why You're Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com 🎧 Subscribe to Sex for Couples for weekly conversations about sex, intimacy, and emotional connection in long-term relationships. Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/66GEEzOy8zIeXQoyMQKmdV Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-for-couples-with-heather-shannon/id1656078749 YouTube - https://youtube.com/@askasexcoach This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

    30 min

Trailer

4.9
out of 5
164 Ratings

About

Sex For Couples is a podcast for committed couples who feel stressed, guilty, or frustrated about their sex life—and want to feel excited, close, and playful again. New episodes are released every Monday. Hosted by Heather Shannon, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with 19 years of experience as a counselor and coach, the show breaks down the emotional and psychological reasons intimacy fades and what actually helps couples reconnect. Heather has been featured on BloomTV and quoted in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, SELF, Glamour, and more. She is a Gottman-trained couples counselor, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist and has spent 13 years as a practicing Buddhist. Through both solo and guest episodes, Sex For Couples offers approachable advice, open conversations, and helpful tools so couples can communicate better about sex, reduce shame and stigma, and enjoy rediscovering each other. This podcast isn’t about performance or perfection—it’s about helping couples stop overthinking sex and start having fun with it again. For more on Heather's work, visit HeatherShannnon.co. NOTE: This show was formerly called "Ask A Sex Therapist with Heather Shannon" and was renamed on Valentine's Day, 2026. This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

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