The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations

DeborahKat
  • 5.0 (6)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Semimonthly

Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!

  1. Beyond Technique: The Art of Loving Dominance with Master Hines

    May 29

    Beyond Technique: The Art of Loving Dominance with Master Hines

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with longtime BDSM educator, mentor, and professional dominant Master Hines. We explore what power exchange can teach us about desire, trust, presence, and the kind of connection that makes sex and relationships feel more alive.   Master Hines shares how he first found his way into BDSM through a desire to become a better lover, and how mentorship, community, and decades of experience shaped his approach to dominance. Throughout the conversation, we talk about the changes in the BDSM community over time, the difference between topping and dominance, what makes a powerful scene, and why good BDSM is not about the toy, the technique, or the performance, but the quality of connection between the people involved.   In this conversation, Master Hines shares his perspective on loving dominance, rough body play, primal play, authority exchange, and the deep responsibility that comes with holding power in an intimate space. We also explore how BDSM can create catharsis, healing, and a kind of spiritual presence when people feel safe enough to be fully in their bodies and fully with each other. This episode is an invitation to look beyond the surface of kink and understand BDSM as a practice of love, attention, trust, and deeply embodied connection Connect with Hines Website: https://lovingdominance.com/ Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    51 min
  2. Where Your Desire Went and How to Get It Back with Julie Merriman

    May 14

    Where Your Desire Went and How to Get It Back with Julie Merriman

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex counselor, educator, and author Julie Merriman. We explore what happens to desire when you have spent years taking care of everyone else while your own body, pleasure, and sense of aliveness slowly fade into the background. Julie shares how her work grew out of decades of supporting women through burnout, along with her own experience of hitting that wall in midlife and finding her way back to feeling again. Throughout the conversation, we talk about the shame so many people carry around sex, how a dysregulated nervous system shuts down desire, and why so many women end up in performance instead of actually experiencing pleasure. In this conversation, Julie shares simple ways to begin reconnecting with your body, including awareness practices and what she calls pleasure mapping as a way to rediscover sensation without pressure. We also talk about fake orgasms, honesty in relationships, and how intimacy deepens when you start telling the truth about what you actually feel and want. This episode is an invitation back into your body, where desire, connection, and pleasure can come back online in a way that feels honest and alive. Connect with Julie Website: https://www.juliemerrimanphd.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.juliemerriman/  A free Gift The desire Fire Reset https://rebrand.ly/yuhuhuq Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    46 min
  3. What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton

    Apr 17

    What It Means To Be A Man Right Now with Geoff Laughton

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Men's Coach and Co-Founder of The Undaunted Man, Geoff Laughton. We explore what's really happening for men right now when it comes to desire, identity, and connection, and why so many relationships can look fine on the outside while feeling disconnected underneath. Along the way, we spoke about how Geoff's own journey through burnout, long-term partnership, and decades of working with individuals and couples shaped his perspective. Throughout the conversation, we explore how relationships move through different phases over time, how parenting and life stress impact intimacy, and why many couples find themselves disconnected after years of putting everything else first. We also get into what he calls the "masculine dilemma," including how men navigate changing expectations, disconnection from purpose, and confusion about what it means to be a healthy man today. Geoff shares what he sees in his work with men around loneliness, people-pleasing, and lack of direction, and we talk about what actually helps—community, self-awareness, and reconnecting with both strength and emotional depth. If you've found your relationship shifting over time, or you've questioned desire, connection, or how to show up as a partner today, this conversation offers a clear way to understand what's happening and how to move forward. Connect with Geoff  Website: www.theundauntedman.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theundauntedman/ A free e-book called Solving The Masculine Dilemma www.theundauntedman.com/path Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    1h 4m
  4. Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit

    Apr 10

    Marriage, Motherhood, and the Myths We Inherit

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with intimacy and relationship coach Marga Bardinski. Together, we explore how relationships evolve over time, how identity shifts through major life transitions like marriage and parenthood, and what it really means to create intimacy on your own terms. Throughout the conversation, Marga shares her journey into motherhood and how it challenged her assumptions about identity, partnership, and autonomy. Along the way, Deborah reflects on her own experience of preparing for marriage after decades in partnership, unpacking the unexpected beliefs and conditioning that surfaced. Together, they examine how roles like "wife," "partner," and "mother" carry inherited meaning and how those meanings can be questioned, reshaped, or released. In this conversation, Marga speaks to the importance of slowing down, listening to the body, and developing the courage to express desire clearly. She also highlights the role of conscious choice, whether in relationships, parenting, or personal identity, and the power of creating frameworks that support connection, curiosity, and growth. Marga offers us a grounded approach using embodiment, communication, and the ongoing practice that is required to build intimacy that is honest and alive throughout a long-term relationship so that you can stay connected to yourself while building deeper, more authentic relationships. Connect with Marga  Website: https://www.turnonnl.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/turnon_the_netherlands/ Newsletter: https://turnonnl.activehosted.com/f/93 Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935

    1 hr

  5. Mar 18

    Why Receiving Pleasure Feels So Hard (And How to Change It) with Darshana Avila

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner, and speaker Darshana Avila. We explore why receiving pleasure can feel so hard—and what begins to shift when you learn how to come back into your body and your truth. Along the way, we spoke about how her early experiences in marriage, spirituality, and sexuality led her to question the disconnect so many of us feel. Through her journey into tantra, trauma work, and somatic practice, we explore how identity, conditioning, and lived experience shape our capacity to receive, not just give, in intimacy. We also get into how people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and a lack of felt safety in the body make it difficult to stay present with pleasure. Darshana shares what it actually takes to build that internal sense of safety, and we talk about how receiving is a skill you can learn—not something reserved for a lucky few. If you've ever found yourself over-giving, disconnecting during intimacy, or unsure how to let yourself fully receive, this conversation offers a grounded and practical way back—to your body, your pleasure, and your power. Connect with Darshana Website: https://darshanaavila.com Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@darshana-avila  Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935  
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox 
https://deborahkat.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=428b26a12a8810bb5012792c3&id=ff89fb0d94

    48 min

  6. Mar 10

    Sex After Menopause: Why Midlife Couples Struggle with Mark Platten

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men's work leader and founder of the Integral Man Institute Mark Platten. Mark shares how his decades of work guiding men through rites of passage—and his lived experience walking alongside his wife through menopause—led him to focus on the often-overlooked transition midlife couples face when bodies, identities, and sexual dynamics begin to shift. Throughout the conversation, Mark and I explore how menopause and andropause reshape intimacy in long-term relationships, why so many couples feel blindsided by these changes, and how unspoken expectations about sex can quietly erode connection. Along the way, we talk about the archetypal transitions men move through in midlife, the emotional impact of hormonal changes for both partners, and why so many couples find themselves struggling to navigate this phase without guidance. Mark shares insights from his work with men about upgrading the "tools" we bring into relationship as we age—moving from youthful patterns of fixing, performing, or proving ourselves into deeper connection, communication, and vulnerability. We also discuss how honest conversations about desire, aging bodies, and shifting needs can open the door to a richer and more intimate phase of relationship after menopause. This conversation offers a grounded and compassionate look at a stage of life that many couples experience but rarely talk about—and how facing it together can deepen intimacy rather than end it. Connect with Mark Website:  https://integral-man-institute Gift: 5 Conversations All Midlife Couples Need to have -https://integral-man-institute.mykajabi.com/Conversations-for-Midlife-Couples  Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935  
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox 
https://deborahkat.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=428b26a12a8810bb5012792c3&id=ff89fb0d94

    51 min
  7. Reclaiming Pleasure and Desire After Trauma with Dr. Emma Smith

    Feb 25

    Reclaiming Pleasure and Desire After Trauma with Dr. Emma Smith

    Dr. Emma Smith about how trauma, shame, and cultural conditioning can distort intimacy — and what it actually takes to reclaim pleasure, desire, and connection in an embodied, sustainable way. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Emma shares her journey from trauma therapy into sex therapy, and explains why healing doesn't end when symptoms disappear. Along the way, we explore how the nervous system prioritizes survival over pleasure, why many people lose touch with desire after trauma or chronic stress, and how cultural messages about "good" and "bad" sexuality create deep layers of shame that can disconnect us from our bodies and our relationships. Dr. Emma also offers powerful insights into what healing really looks like in practice: learning to recognize bodily signals of yes and no, cultivating curiosity instead of judgment, and rebuilding intimacy through small, accessible moments of pleasure. She explains how compassion toward ourselves opens the door to reclaiming desire, and how couples can shift from criticism and defensiveness into deeper connection by reconnecting with their own internal turn-on first. At its core, this conversation is a reminder that no matter where you're starting from, possibility exists — and reclaiming pleasure is not about fixing what's broken, but about returning to your humanity, your curiosity, and your capacity to experience aliveness. Better sex is a practice — and you can begin again anytime. Connect with Dr. Emma Smith Website:  https://soliloquie.co/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/emmasmithphd  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JerseyEJ  Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935  
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox 
https://deborahkat.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=428b26a12a8810bb5012792c3&id=ff89fb0d94

    42 min
  8. What Keeps a 37-Year Relationship Alive with the Open-Nesters

    Feb 20

    What Keeps a 37-Year Relationship Alive with the Open-Nesters

    In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Open Nesters co-hosts, speaker and consciousness facilitator Tessa and entrepreneur and DJ Amir. Together, they explore what it means to stay open — to each other, to pleasure, and to possibility — through decades of partnership, parenting, and evolving sexual expression. They share the story of their 37-year relationship, including how they kept their connection alive while raising three children, how their "open nest" mindset emerged, and how their journey into non-monogamy unfolded over time. Along the way, they reflect on the role of playfulness, intentional date time, communication, and honest conversations about desire, as well as the challenges and growth that come with redefining relationship agreements. Throughout the conversation, they offer a grounded perspective on long-term intimacy: that sexuality is fluid across the lifespan, that knowing your own pleasure is essential, and that thriving relationships require ongoing intention, curiosity, and a willingness to stay engaged even when things feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. This episode is an invitation to see long-term love not as something that fades, but as a living practice that can deepen, expand, and remain vibrant well into later chapters of life. Connect with The Open-Nesters Website: https://theopennesters.com Podcast: https://theopennesters.com/episodes/ Email: tessa@theopennesters.com Connect with Deborah Skool Community: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290/about Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935  
Sex and Relationship tips direct to you Inbox 
https://deborahkat.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=428b26a12a8810bb5012792c3&id=ff89fb0d94

    42 min
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5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Sit down with Tantra teacher and professional Dominatrix Deborah Kat as she interviews experts in sex, intimacy and relationship. These rich and dynamic conversations share each guest's wisdom, caution and encouragement to support you to have the Better Sex you crave!

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