The Happiest Lives Podcast

Jill M. Lillard
  • 4.9 (97)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

The Happiest Lives  was designed for Christian women who want to stop being disappointed in their relationships and feel more loved and loving.  Here you will learn to think better, feel better, and love better. This podcast is hosted by Jill M. Lillard, MA LPC, a licensed counselor and Gottman Certified Couples Therapist.  Jill has been helping people manage their minds, process their feelings, and have better relationships for over 25 years.  For application exercises and support in applying the concepts learned on the podcasts, get your FREE podcast guide www.myhappyvault.com/podcastLearn more at www.thehappiestlives.com  Discover tools at  www.myhappyvault.com.Contact Jill at jill@thehappiestlives.com.

  1. 4d ago

    BONUS: What God Is Teaching Me Right Now

    How do you trust God when everything in your life seems to be changing? This episode is a little different than my usual teaching episodes. Instead of continuing a series, I wanted to invite you into my own quiet time and share what the Lord has been teaching me in real time. As I was journaling through a season of transition and reading 2 Corinthians 8:1–15, one phrase kept coming back to me: “They gave themselves first to the Lord.” While Paul is writing about generosity, I realized God was using this passage to challenge the way I was holding onto familiar seasons, relationships, and expectations. If you’ve ever found yourself grieving a season you loved, wondering what’s next, or learning to trust God in the unknown, I hope this conversation encourages you to loosen your grip and place yourself—and your future—back into God’s hands. In This Episode Why unexpected grief often accompanies healthy life transitionsWhat 2 Corinthians 8 taught me beyond financial generosityThe difference between holding on and trusting GodWhy familiar seasons can be difficult to releaseHow God often prepares us for what’s next before He reveals what’s nextOne question I’ve been asking myself during this seasonKey Takeaways Grace changes more than what we give—it changes how we hold our lives.Surrender often comes before clarity.It’s possible to grieve a season while still trusting God with the future.God often prepares our hearts before He changes our circumstances.Every season is an invitation to give ourselves to the Lord again.Series Note This is a special bonus episode outside of our regular monthly series—a personal reflection on what God has been teaching me during my own time in Scripture. Keywords Christian podcastTrusting God in transitionChristian encouragement2 Corinthians 8Letting go and trusting GodSeasons of lifeIf you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

  2. Jul 24

    E159: Remain in the Spiral

    What do you do when anxiety takes over, and you can’t stop the spiral? You know the pattern. Something happens — a shift in your body, a moment of tension in your marriage, a number in your bank account — and before you’ve had a single conscious thought, your mind is already assigning meaning, the shame is already rising, and you’re reacting from a place you didn’t choose. The spiral moves faster than your intentions do. Most of us have been trying to outrun it. This episode is about something different. The gap between trigger and reaction is small. Most of us blow right past it. But that gap is where the Spirit lives — and learning to pause there is one of the most significant things you can practice. This isn’t a coping strategy. It’s abiding in its most raw and necessary form. This is the final episode of the Simply Remain series, and it brings everything home. We talk about the everyday spiral and the longer dormant seasons — the empty nest, the aging parent, the chapter of life that feels unrecognizable. In all of it, the invitation is the same. Remain. In This Episode • Why the spiral is not evidence that something is wrong with you — it’s an invitation to abide • The pattern behind every trigger: sensation, thought, emotion, reaction • The gap between trigger and reaction and why that’s where God lives • The difference between shame that drives you deeper and the Spirit that leads you gently back • The four P’s: Panic, Pause, Pray, Praise — a practice for the hardest moments • What pruning actually means and why the Father works through his Word, not the trial alone Key Takeaways • The spiral is the curriculum — your hardest moments are where abiding becomes real • Romans 8:26 — the Spirit intercedes in your weakness. That gap is not empty • Shame drives you deeper. The Spirit leads you back. You can tell them apart by where they take you • Some seasons are longer than a spiral — dormant winters where the root is still doing its work underground • The branch that holds on in winter is the branch that flourishes in spring Series Note This is episode four of the Simply Remain series. Start with Episode 156 for the full arc — or listen to this one wherever you are today. Keywords • How to stop anxiety spirals as a Christian woman • Abiding in Christ when life feels hard • What to do when you feel overwhelmed and anxious • Christian women perimenopause emotional health • Remaining in God during difficult seasons • John 15 abiding in the vine If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    E159: Remain in the Spiral

  3. Jul 17

    E158: God in the Laundry

    Do the ordinary tasks of my day actually matter to God? You’re doing all of it — the meals, the laundry, the emails, the driving, the remembering. And somewhere in the middle of it a question surfaces. Does any of this actually matter? This episode is about what happens when we move through our lives productive but not present, and what abiding in the ordinary actually looks like. Through the story of Brother Lawrence and the theology of Andrew Murray’s The True Vine, this episode reframes the mundane as the very place God is forming you. The laundry isn’t the obstacle to your spiritual life. It is your spiritual life. In This Episode •Why productivity without presence leaves us spiritually exhausted •How Brother Lawrence practiced God’s presence in unglamorous ordinary work •What Psalm 16 teaches us about security and presence in our assigned portion •How Murray reframes pruning as God’s precision formation in everyday life •The three questions that help you abide in the ordinary instead of just endure it Key Takeaways •The ordinary moments of your day are not the obstacle to your spiritual life — they are your spiritual life •Abiding is a connection you maintain in the middle of the doing, not a feeling you chase •The laundry is the pruning — God is actively forming you in the mundane moments •The fruit grows while you remain connected to the vine — not when you finally finish the list Series Note Episode three of the Simply Remain series, which began on episode 156. Keywords •Abiding in God in everyday life •Christian women and spiritual exhaustion •Finding God in the ordinary •Spiritual formation in daily routines •John 15 abiding and fruit •Andrew Murray The True Vine If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    E158: God in the Laundry

  4. Jul 10

    E157: Stop Trying To Act Spiritual

    What does it mean to abide in God when your quiet time feels empty and your spiritual life feels flat? You’ve been showing up — reading your Bible, praying, doing all the things — and something still feels off.  This episode is about what’s actually happening when that occurs. Not what you’re doing wrong. What’s actually going on. We go deep into John 15 to unpack what Jesus actually meant when he said remain in me — why the fruit that grows from genuine abiding was never meant to just feed you, and what it looks like to stay when everything in you wants to fix the flatness or conclude that God is gone. Abiding is not a feeling you achieve. It’s a posture you return to. In This Episode •Why doing all the right spiritual things can still leave you feeling completely disconnected •What John 15 actually says about dependence, pruning, joy, and friendship with God •Why reading God’s word alone doesn’t produce transformation — and what has to be added •How the fruit of abiding flows outward and feeds others not just yourself •Why hormonal shifts can affect your spiritual life in ways nobody warned you about Key Takeaways •Chase the feeling and you end up performing. Stay in the posture and the fruit takes care of itself •The Word has to abide in you — not just pass through you •Grace positions you in the vine. Faith keeps you there. The fruit grows as the overflow of both •The flatness in your quiet time might be the Father pruning — not evidence that something is wrong •The fruit you bear isn’t yours. It’s Christ’s life flowing through a branch that stayed connected Series Note Episode two of the Simply Remain series. Start with episode 156 or jump in here — either works. Resources Song: Abide by Dwell Music The True Vine by Andrew Murray Keywords •How to abide in God •Spiritual disciplines and faith •Feeling disconnected from God •John 15 abiding in Christ •Perimenopause and spiritual life •Andrew Murray abiding in Christ If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    E157: Stop Trying To Act Spiritual

  5. Jul 3

    E156: Simply Remain

    Are you exhausted from chasing outcomes that never quite deliver the peace you’re after? Underneath every goal is a feeling — security, love, peace, worthiness. And that feeling is already available to you through abiding in Christ, not through achieving.  In this episode Jill opens a new series called Simply Remain, anchored in John 15 and Andrew Murray’s The True Vine. She names the works of the flesh we don’t recognize because they look like diligence, introduces the idea of hard moments as portals into faith rather than detours around it, and shows what remaining actually looks like in a real moment of grief and loneliness. In This Episode •Why the fruit of the Spirit is not a to-do list •How to trace any outcome back to the feeling underneath it •The works of the flesh that look like virtue but quietly deplete you •What remaining in Christ looks like in a real hard moment •Why your hardest circumstances are doorways into abiding Key Takeaways •You’re chasing the feeling underneath the outcome — and it’s already available through abiding •The branch has one job: to stay •Striving and controlling are works of the flesh — they never deliver what they promise •Your hard moments are portals, not interruptions Series Note Episode 1 of the Simply Remain series, based on John 15 and Andrew Murray’s The True Vine. Keywords •Abiding in Christ •John 15 vine and branches •Fruit of the Spirit •Christian podcast for women •Overcoming striving and perfectionism •Spiritual growth for women If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    E156: Simply Remain

  6. Jun 26

    155: What Church Hurt Is Forming in You- David and Absalom

    How do I stop letting church hurt define me? You’ve probably spent a lot of time thinking about what happened. Who was wrong. What should have been done differently. And honestly, you’re probably right about most of it. But here’s the question that doesn’t get asked enough: what is the experience forming in you? Not just what happened — but who are you becoming while you’re processing it? In this final episode of the church hurt series, Jill walks through the story of Absalom from 2 Samuel 13 — a man who witnessed a serious injustice, watched it go unaddressed, and carried it in silence for two years. What happened next is one of the most sobering pictures in Scripture of what unprocessed pain can do in a person’s life. Not because he was wrong about what happened. But because being right didn’t protect him. This episode isn’t about minimizing what was done to you or rushing to forgiveness before you’re ready. It’s about keeping your eyes on Jesus in the middle of it — doing what’s yours to do, releasing what isn’t, and trusting God with the rest. In This Episode •Why being right about what happened doesn’t automatically protect you from what carrying it does to you over time •The story of Absalom, Tamar, and David from 2 Samuel 13 — and what it shows us about unprocessed pain •The difference between processing your hurt and just circulating it •Why stuffing it down doesn’t work — and what to do instead •How to identify what’s actually yours to do and how to surrender the rest to the Lord •Practical steps for moving forward without losing Jesus in the process Key Takeaways •Seeing something clearly doesn’t make you free of it — freedom requires bringing it to the Lord •Silence is not neutral. What you carry without addressing will eventually move in a direction you didn’t choose •There’s a difference between processing pain and recycling it — and one leads somewhere, the other doesn’t •You can do what’s yours to do and trust God with the outcome, even when the outcome isn’t what you wanted •The goal isn’t to minimize what happened — it’s to make sure your heart doesn’t become the bigger problem Series Note: This is episode 4 of a 4-part series on church hurt. You can start here or go back to the beginning — each episode stands on its own. Keywords: church hurt healing, Christian women faith, how to forgive church hurt, processing spiritual pain, church trauma recovery, emotional health faith If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    155: What Church Hurt Is Forming in You- David and Absalom

  7. Jun 19

    154: Why You Can‘t Let It Go (especially when its church)

    Have you ever left a church situation feeling like you couldn’t quite shake it — even after time passed? In this episode, Jill sits down with a panel of three women who have all experienced some form of church hurt. But this conversation isn’t about who was right or wrong. It’s about what was happening inside them — the grief, the rejection, the slow shift from hurt to resentment — and what it actually took to process it without becoming someone they didn’t want to be. These women are honest. One stayed at her church. One left. One was in leadership when everything fell apart. Their stories are different, but the inner work they each had to do looks more similar than you’d expect.  If you’ve ever sat in a church pew watching someone through narrowed eyes, replaying a conversation you can’t let go of, or felt like you left a church but carried it with you anyway — this episode is for you. In This Episode • What it looks like when hurt quietly shifts into seeing someone as an adversary • How three women processed church hurt in very different circumstances • Why staying and leaving can both leave things unresolved • What it means to reconcile your own heart when the other party won’t • The role of community, counseling, and intentional inner work in healing • How church hurt can shape the way you trust, lead, and show up — without you realizing it Key Takeaways • You can leave a church without leaving the experience — healing requires intentional work either way • Forgiveness is a choice that doesn’t require an apology to begin • The question isn’t just what happened to you, but who you’re becoming as a result • Processing hurt in community — not alone — makes a real difference • The pain doesn’t have to write your story; God can redeem it if you let him Series Note: This is part 3 of the Church Hurt series. Next week, the series closes with a look at the story of David and Absalom — and what it reveals about what happens when pain goes unprocessed. Keywords: church hurt healing, Christian women podcast, processing church trauma, forgiveness in the church, emotional health faith, leaving a church, church conflict recovery If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    154: Why You Can‘t Let It Go (especially when its church)

  8. Jun 12

    E153: Your Pastor Is Human

    Have you ever been in a church situation where something felt off, raised it, and had it go nowhere — and now you’re trying to understand why? You can’t have an honest conversation about church hurt without looking at leadership. The structure around leaders and the humanity inside them shapes everything.  In this episode Jill starts with something that sounds obvious but rarely gets said honestly — pastors are human. Fully, vulnerably human. And when that reality doesn’t have the right support around it, things drift. Slowly. In ways nobody sees coming. Jill walks through what church structure was actually designed to look like, what Scripture says about accountability in leadership, and what the story of Saul teaches us about how good people with real callings end up somewhere nobody intended. In This Episode •Why leadership is lonely in ways most congregations never see •What the New Testament actually says about church structure and accountability •How gradual drift happens — and why it’s harder to catch than outright failure •Why the contrast between Saul and David is the most important part of the story •What “if you don’t choose humility you will be humbled” looks like in real life Key Takeaways •The structure around a leader exists to protect them — not limit them •Drift looks like a series of small reasonable decisions until suddenly it doesn’t •Scripture cares more about what happens after failure than whether failure happened •Anointed doesn’t mean infallible Series Note Part 2 of the Church Hurt series. Keywords church hurt, pastor leadership, church accountability, spiritual drift, toxic church, Christian leadership If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected. Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com

    E153: Your Pastor Is Human
See All (162)

4.9
out of 5
97 Ratings

About

The Happiest Lives  was designed for Christian women who want to stop being disappointed in their relationships and feel more loved and loving.  Here you will learn to think better, feel better, and love better. This podcast is hosted by Jill M. Lillard, MA LPC, a licensed counselor and Gottman Certified Couples Therapist.  Jill has been helping people manage their minds, process their feelings, and have better relationships for over 25 years.  For application exercises and support in applying the concepts learned on the podcasts, get your FREE podcast guide www.myhappyvault.com/podcastLearn more at www.thehappiestlives.com  Discover tools at  www.myhappyvault.com.Contact Jill at jill@thehappiestlives.com.

Information

  • Creator
    Jill M. Lillard
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    162
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Happiest Lives Podcast
  • Show Website
    The Happiest Lives Podcast

You Might Also Like