I Believe

Joel K. Douglas
  • 4.4 (14)
  • Philosophy
  • Updated Weekly

Philosophy from the American Experiment | A Spotify Rising Star Podcast joelkdouglas.substack.com

  1. 3d ago

    Return Tomorrow | A Warehouse, a Granddaughter, and a Great Society

    Her eyes open at five twenty-eight. She lifts her head and switches the alarm off before it kicks on at five thirty. She’s up and moving. Chores to do. Coffee, dishwasher, shower, lunchbox. Their apartment is a one-bedroom in Lakewood, Colorado, on the west edge of Denver. Third floor. She starts the coffee maker and showers while it runs. On the refrigerator door, under a magnet, a printed listing for a two-bedroom on South Ammons Street. Four hundred ten thousand. Beneath the price, handwriting in blue ink: eighty-two thousand down. Below that a column of dates and smaller numbers, one for every month they’ve lived here. The paper has yellowed at one corner. She pours coffee into a steel travel mug, grabs her lunch, takes the stairs, and scrapes frost off the windshield with a plastic dustpan she keeps behind the seat. She drives west on Alameda with the defrost on high. At Kipling she turns north. On her right, Lakewood Park Tennis Center. On her left, a fence. Chain link, eight feet, three strands of barbed wire on top. It runs past the first stoplight. It runs past the second. There’s a gate with a guard shack and a yellow crossing arm, and a white sign that says United States Government Property. The fence keeps going. It takes her a full mile to run out of fence. She doesn’t look at it. It’s been there her whole life. At six twenty, she badges into the warehouse. The reader beeps. Inside the break room, on the long table by the time clock, somebody has laid out nine folders in three neat rows. New hires start today. She’s been here four years. She knows what’s in the folders. Act I. The Wage The safety video runs eleven minutes. She can hear it through the break room wall, the same narrator, the same music, while she tapes the first boxes of the morning. Nine new people in there with their folders open. At seven forty, the break room door opens, and the trainer walks in. His name is Dave. He’s holding his own copy of the folder, open to the tabs. Tab one is the handbook, he says. Tab two is your direct deposit. Tab three is your benefits election. Health kicks in at ninety days, dental at one eighty. Don’t wait on the paperwork, it doesn’t backdate. Tab four, he says, is community resources. Food assistance, Medicaid, child care assistance, help on the winter heat bill. The applications are in there, filled out down to the signature line. Plenty of folks use them the first year. Nothing to be embarrassed about. He says it the way he said the part about the fire exits. She takes one of the nine, a young woman named Reyna, out to the floor and trains her on the scanner. Point, squeeze, wait for the beep. The screen above the aisle shows a number; that number is the building’s rate. Green means the shift is on pace to meet their quota. She’s never seen it red for a whole shift. Somewhere around ten, the number turns green and stays that way. At lunch she eats what she packed at five fifty. Reyna sits across from her with a vending machine sandwich and asks if the insurance is any good. It’s insurance, she says. The deductible is four thousand. You’ll want the paycheck to clear before you pick a plan. Reyna nods and writes something in her folder. At the end of the table, one of the other new hires has his folder open to tab four. He’s copying numbers off a pay stub that isn’t his yet, from the sample page, doing the eligibility math with the folder’s own pencil. First shift. He hasn’t clocked a full day. The horn ends lunch at twelve thirty. Everybody stands at once. Act II. The Plant The afternoon starts out like the morning. Point, squeeze, beep. The screen stays green. Nothing in the building gets made in the building. It comes in full and goes out full. They work on line three. By last break, Reyna runs two under her rate. First day. The belt on line four goes down midshift. Nobody in the building can fix it. The tech comes Thursday, from Phoenix. Nothing to be done, that entire line goes home early. The horn releases the shift at four thirty. In the parking lot her phone buzzes. A text from the storage place on West Colfax. Your autopay of eighty-nine dollars was successful. Thank you for being a valued customer. She was headed there anyway. Two plastic totes in the trunk. Christmas decorations, going back until December. Unit two fourteen. She rolls the door up and the cold air inside smells like cardboard. The totes go on the shelf her husband built from scrap the first winter. Behind them, the rest of it. Her mother’s cedar chest. A kitchen table on its side, six chairs zip-tied to the legs. A crib in pieces, wrapped in a moving blanket, that was her mother’s before it was hers. In the back corner, under a second blanket, the lathe. It’s a South Bend, cast iron, older than everyone she knows. It took four grown men and a rented dolly to get it in here. She pulls the blanket square where it’s slipped off the tailstock, and under her hand there’s a small brass plate, screwed to the base, stamped with three words. War Production Board. She doesn’t know how to run it. Nobody living in the family does. She rolls the door down and clicks the padlock. Her grandmother calls while she’s still in the lot. She puts her on speaker and pulls out into traffic. You eat yet? Her grandmother says. I’m driving home to eat. You’re still paying for that unit. I’m still paying for it. You ought to sell that machine. You’d get something for it. Nobody’s run it in ten years. I’m not selling the lathe, Grandma. Her grandmother is quiet for a second. Then she says, your grandfather ran that lathe thirty-one years at Gates. Nights, at the end. They were going to throw it away, so he took it for his woodworking. Gates got the machine from the ammo plant, surplus sale. My mother made bullets out by you, on Kipling, the whole war. Rode the bus from Tenth Avenue, three shifts going around the clock, twenty thousand people out there. Half of them were women. I know, Grandma. It’s all offices now, her grandmother says. Anyway. You two are coming Sunday. We’re coming Sunday. Bring some folding chairs if you can. They’re in the unit, she says. I was just looking at them. Good, her grandmother says. Then you know right where they are. Act III. The Ledger Friday, twelve oh five. Reyna sets the folder next to her lunch and asks if she has a minute. The application is filled out down to the signature line, like Dave said. What’s left is the list on the back page. Proof of who you are. Proof of where you live. Proof of what you make, thirty days of it. I don’t have thirty days, Reyna says. I have four. There’s a line for that. Employer statement. HR prints it, you ask at the window. Reyna writes that on the folder. Then they schedule you an interview, she says. It’s a phone call. Keep your phone on you at break, and if you miss it, call back the same day. Don’t wait. Did you do all this, Reyna asks. She folds the wax paper over the half of her sandwich that’s left. My first year here, she says. Yeah. She takes her phone, puts it speaker up on the table, and calls the number. It starts with a recording: Last year we proudly served more than one hundred thousand Colorado families. The horn goes. Everybody stands at once. Sunday, her grandmother’s house smells like a roast that went in at seven. A brick ranch off Garrison, two bedrooms, one bath, a furnace that runs loud. Her grandmother has lived in it fifty-eight years. Her husband carries the folding chairs in from the trunk and sets them up at the long side of the table. The game is on low in the front room. Broncos Chargers. A small group watching it. Any luck on a house, her grandmother says, passing the potatoes. There’s a two-bedroom on Ammons we like. What are they asking? Four hundred ten. Her grandmother sets the potatoes down. Your grandfather paid seventeen thousand five hundred for this house, she says. Nineteen sixty-eight. Back then he made nine thousand a year. We lived on one paycheck, pinched every penny, but I didn’t work until your mother was in school. Nobody says anything. In the front room a whistle blows and the crowd complains. After the pie her grandmother stands and favors the new knee, and waves off help before anyone offers it. The knee’s fine, she says. Better than the old one. Four hundred dollars, that’s what the whole thing cost me. Medicare and the supplement took the rest. Four hundred, for a knee. Her grandmother brings out an old photo of her mother in a heavy machinery apron. Dirty. She brought out an old picture or two every time they ate Sunday dinner. This is my mother, your great-grandmother. She rode a bus to a three-shift line and came home tired. She went to work sick or tired or hurt, didn’t matter. They weren’t supposed to, but she got married the day before your great-grandpa left on the ship, and she told me she felt like she was making ammunition for him, and she wouldn’t let him run out. The work was hot and she was on food rations. Everybody was. Almost no meat, no butter. Then, when her husband came home, they wanted to get their own place right away, but there were no homes for sale anywhere. They lived in a shack for a year until houses started popping up. She likes the story every time she hears it. You need anything before we go, she asks her grandmother at the door. Groceries this week, anything. I’m fine, her grandmother says. Check comes next Wednesday, the house is paid, what do I need. She hands them the leftovers in a grocery bag, roast and potatoes in butter tubs, and tells her husband to take the chairs back to the unit. Then she looks at her granddaughter for a second longer than usual. When I’m gone this house is yours, she says. You know that. Grandma. I’m saying it so you know it. Act IV. Payday Friday is payday. The deposit lands at six in the morning while she’s scraping the windshield. That night after

  2. Jul 21

    What Counts | A Rancher, a Charging Station, and a Twelve-Million-Dollar Letter

    A family, driving north out of Denver. They left before light. Mom’s driving. Yellowstone tomorrow. Lamar Valley and the bison and wolves and trout. Tonight, the Sheridan Inn. The car planned this stop in Buffalo before they crossed the Platte. It planned every stop. Dad has the atlas open on his knees, the paper kind. Nobody’s looking at it. Two kids in the back. A yellow dog between them with his chin on the armrest. Somewhere past Kaycee the little one got carsick. Mom keeps empty cups up front for it, and she passed one back without looking. The windows are down now, summer heat and wind noise, and nobody’s saying why. In one mile, exit right. Charging stop. Buffalo, Wyoming. The chargers sit at the Miller Travel Center across the street from the Best Western. Eight stalls, white posts, painted lines. Mom backs in on the first try. Dad’s out of the car before it stops rocking. He takes a deep breath and clicks the cable home. The screen says thirty-five minutes. The kids step out slow. The dog tows the boy toward the grass strip at the edge of the lot, nose down, working. A good stop. Restrooms, coffee, a rack of postcards with bears on them. Everything works, and everything worked the whole way up, and it’ll work the whole way to the park. Somebody built all of it so that it would. A pickup comes down Sixteen pulling a stock trailer. You hear it before you see it. Nobody in the lot looks up except the dog. Leave the family at the charger. They’re fine. Go with the truck. Act I. The Bearing The same morning begins in the dark at both ends of the road. Four thirty, and the kitchen light’s the only one on for eleven miles. Coffee going. She’s up. She always is. The talk is the day’s work, not the letter that’s sitting on the table. Pairs come off the north lease today. The grass up there is done, and the section east of town has been resting since May. Move them today, or watch them walk it to dirt by Friday. The letter’s been on the table since Tuesday. It came certified, from a company out of Denver with a name that doesn’t say what it does. They want to buy the place. All of it, deeded ground and leases and water, and the letter names the number they’d pay. He read it once, standing up, and set it down, and neither of them has touched it since except to move it off the spot where the coffee goes. In a good year, this place clears a hundred and twenty thousand dollars. The number in the letter is not that kind of number. He takes the letter off the table on his way out. Not to do anything with it. It just doesn’t seem like something you leave lying around, the way you wouldn’t leave a loaded rifle on the porch. It rides on the dash. Jesse’s already at the truck. Red heeler, ears up, been waiting in the dark by the left rear tire since the kitchen light came on. Chores first, then town, because the baler’s down and the hay is nearly ready. The parts counter at six forty five smells like oil and popcorn from yesterday. The bearing he needs is backordered ten days. The counter man is a good man. He offers the other way out: the whole assembly, in stock, four hundred and change, upgraded, better than the old one ever was. He stands there maybe a minute. It’s not four hundred dollars against zero. It’s four hundred dollars against ten days of July, against what a rebuilt bearing costs, against how many seasons the old assembly has left anyway. He’s done this math his whole life, standing at this counter, in about this light. The old assembly has two good years in it. The bearing wins. So. Order the bearing. Borrow the neighbor’s baler in the meantime, which will cost him a favor, and favors get paid back in this county at par. Nobody calls it anything. There’s no form for it. But that minute at the counter is an audit, and everything that comes onto the ranch passes one just like it or it doesn’t come. The truck passed one. The trailer passed one. The dog passed one years ago. Out of the lot, up through town, and onto Sixteen with the empty gooseneck rattling behind. The chargers go by on the right. Eight stalls, white posts, painted lines, two cars on them with plates from somewhere else. His eyes do what a cattleman’s eyes do with any pen, any chute, any gate: measure it. The approach, the spacing, the turnaround. Thirty two feet of truck and trailer, and stalls drawn for sixteen. There’s nothing to think about, so he doesn’t think about it. North out of town the pavement gives out to gravel, and the gravel to two-track, and the two-track climbs to where the pairs are scattered across the last of the lease grass, heads coming up one by one at the sound of the diesel they know. Two hundred and fifty miles south, a family out of Denver is passing Chugwater, and their car is already counting on one of those stalls in Buffalo. Act II. The Measure The north lease is forty minutes of gravel and another ten on two-track, a section and change of short grass running up against the timber. The grass is done, time to move on. The pairs know the truck and start drifting toward the corrals before he’s got the gate. As soon as the driver’s door is open, Jesse is out and running. Before he’s in the saddle, she’ll be out of sight, bring in any pairs not with the main group, and come back loping, tongue hanging out the side of her mouth. Ray’s flatbed is already at the pens. Ray runs the neighboring lease and they work it together every year, no money in it, just the arithmetic of neighbors kept square. Ray’s cows wear collars now. He put them on two years ago when the math got undeniable, what the collars cost against what three miles of cross-fence was going to cost, and the fence never got built and never will. Nobody from any government office asked him to do it. Nobody sends him a form about it. The collars either paid for themselves and held his cows off the creek bottoms or they didn’t. They did, and that was the whole conversation. They work the pairs quiet. Hooves in the dust. Cows calling calves. Not much else. Jesse does most of the work. She’ll get the fat off his ribeye at supper. First load on. Ray talks for a minute about the sale barn and goes back to his flatbed. While Ray’s talking, without exactly deciding to, he takes the letter off the dash and puts it in the glovebox. Town is twenty-five minutes with a load on. Through Buffalo, Wyoming Public Radio comes over the speakers. The state’s federal charging program has yet to break ground. Twenty-six point eight million allocated, the announcer says, while the chargers already running, including Buffalo’s, were built by private companies. With zero chargers built, the state asked Washington to call the corridors complete. Then the weather, hot, and cattle prices, high. He’s watching his mirrors as he approaches the interstate by the travel center. Eight stalls, a car from Colorado on the cable, a yellow dog working the grass strip with a boy on the other end of the leash. The trailer rattles and the stalls go by at thirty. Small town. When the chargers went in, they got talked about at church for a month, same as everything else. Now they’re just the thing across from the Best Western. His eyes do what a cattleman’s eyes do. Measure. Every stall drawn for a car. You can’t back up to a charger pulling a cattle trailer. There’s nothing to think about, so he doesn’t. The east section is six miles on the other side of town, deeded ground, and it’s been resting since May, which is the only reason today works at all. Grass is there. Water is the problem. The section has one good well at the north end and nothing at the south, so the south half grazes short or doesn’t graze, and every dry August he hauls water to it in a tank on the flatbed, four hundred gallons at a trip. There’s a fix for that, and it’s not a mystery; it’s pipe. He heard about a grant and applied for it in the spring. Cost share, water development. There’s a conservation plan on file with his name on it, and the woman at the office says the money should be obligated when the government’s new year starts in October. Then the engineer. Then, if there’s a backhoe left in the county, dirt. If you asked the program today, it would say truthfully that the dollars are on track to be obligated. The way it works is he fronts the money and gets paid back after the work passes inspection, which is fair enough if you have the money to front. Fronting it means this fall’s steer money is spoken for until the government pays him back. He thinks maybe he’ll be able to break ground in November. The grass needs water in July. So the tank he’ll use again this August is the four hundred-gallon one on the flatbed, and the pipe exists in a plan, in a filing cabinet, in town. He unloads the first load through the north gate, and while the pairs sort themselves out and go to grass, he checks the well. The pump kicks on. On the pole above it there’s a meter with the co-op’s name on the tag, and the co-op’s name has been on this place longer than he has. Nineteen thirty six, a grange hall not far from here, and a man from the power company stood up in front of a room of ranchers and told them what everybody with credentials knew. Two thousand dollars a mile to string line to country like this, and no way it ever pays it back. He wasn’t lying. It was his honest math. The ranchers formed a cooperative, borrowed the money from the government at cost, hired their own crews and set their own poles, and built it for eight hundred and twenty five dollars a mile. They paid the loans back over decades, at a default rate under one percent. Nobody measured the program by how many meetings it held. The measure was whether the lights came on and whether the loan got paid. The lights came on. The loan got paid. The pump runs. He pays that outfit every month, ninety some years later. Two more loads before supp

  3. Jul 14

    Item Six

    The agenda is one page. Somebody ran it through the copier this afternoon and the toner is going, so item six is fainter than item five. You can read it anyway. Outside the county annex, there are nine pickups, a sheriff’s Tahoe, and a Buick that belongs to a woman named Arlene who has kept the minutes of this commission for thirty-one years. It is a Tuesday in March on the high plains of Nebraska. The wind is doing what the wind does. Inside, the fluorescent lights hum over four rows of folding chairs. Usually there are three people in them. Tonight there are twenty-six. There is a coffee urn on a card table by the door. It is older than some of the commissioners. Nobody has touched it. Item one is a culvert. Item two, a road easement. Item three is the ambulance service contract, and it runs long, because everything about the ambulance runs long in a county with one of them. Item four is approved without discussion. Item five is the fairgrounds. The grandstand roof failed inspection in October, and the bid to fix it came back at one hundred ninety thousand dollars, and the room takes this news the way you take news about a roof. Somebody says the fair is in July. Somebody else says everyone knows that. Then the chairman squares his papers and reads item six. Item six is a line in the county budget. One hundred twelve thousand dollars. It covers an office in the basement of this building: two salaries, a truck, a phone that gets answered. The line has been in the budget for one hundred and nine years. Tonight the commission decides whether it stays. Act I. Scene One. Nebraska The chairman reads item six the way he read item five, like reading a phone number. County appropriation, University of Nebraska Extension, interlocal agreement, one-hundred-twelve thousand dollars. He asks for a motion for discussion. It comes from his left. Then, a second. He does what the law of Nebraska requires him to do and opens the floor. Twenty-six people shift in their brown metal folding chairs. The extension educator goes first, because it is her office, and she has done this every March for nine years. Her name is Dana Fruehling. The university pays her salary. The county pays for everything that she needs to do her job: the truck, the basement office, the two women who run it, the phone. She has a photocopied annual report. She opens with the sentence that’s the cornerpost of the argument. You can hear that she likes it. The law says the work exists to aid in diffusing among the people of the United States useful and practical information on subjects relating to agriculture and home economics, and to encourage the application of the same. Land-grant university extension. Teaching people practical information they would otherwise never know. She gives the year. Two hundred forty soil samples. Thirty-one pesticide applicators certified. A hundred and six kids in 4-H. Somewhere north of nine hundred phone calls, logged by hand because the county never bought the software. Commissioner Ben Hollis waits until she sits down. Hollis sold crop insurance out of the same storefront for thirty-one years, which means he has read more balance sheets than anyone else in the room, including the bank. He is going to make the best argument anyone makes all night, and he is going to make it quietly. He says he has voted for this line eleven times. He says Dana does the work and everybody knows it. Instead of raising his voice he takes off his glasses. The whispers stop. I can tell you what we spent, he says. Eleven budgets, add it up, it’s north of a million dollars. What I can’t tell you is what we bought. Samples got tested. Kids showed their steers. The phone got answered. And in those same eleven years this county lost four hundred people, the school consolidated with Ainsworth, and there are six buildings on Main Street you could buy for back taxes. So show me. I’m asking honestly. Show me the line where the county changed because we kept that office open in the basement. Nobody answers him right away. It’s a fair question, and the room knows it. The woman with the binder stands up. She has been waiting since item one. Name, Carol Ann Vasek. Her binder has a green clover on the front. Eleven years of papers she doesn’t need to read. She says her oldest showed hogs in that program, and judged livestock, and stood up at contests in Lincoln and talked to strangers with his hat off, and he is twenty-six now and he came back. He works cattle and he does the books for three neighbors and he coaches the judging team on Tuesdays. She says: you all keep asking what brings our kids back. I am standing here telling you the one thing that brought mine home: 4-H. A rancher named Albers takes the floor after her and talks for ninety seconds about the drought year, the hay that came off the Petersen place, the call he made at seven in the morning because something told him not to feed it. Nitrates. Dana sent a sample for a test that afternoon. He runs a hundred and forty pairs. He says: you want to know what the office does, it answered the phone, and I still have a herd. Hollis puts his glasses back on. He says gently that he is glad about the herd. That nobody is arguing Dana doesn’t answer the phone. He is asking a different question, and he’d like somebody to answer the one he asked. And then old man Rasmussen, who has been coming to these meetings since before Arlene kept the minutes, cuts through all of it. A hundred and nine years, he says. This county has paid for that office for a hundred and nine years, my dad paid it and his dad paid it, and I would bet anyone in this room a dollar that nobody can say why we started. Act I. Scene Two. Boll Weevils Nineteen oh three. Terrell, Texas. The boll weevil is eating the South. It crossed the Rio Grande a decade ago and it takes the cotton, farm by farm, county by county. Nothing anybody knows will stop it. The federal government has a man named Seaman Knapp who knows something nobody in Washington believes: farmers distrust everything Washington knows. And he has an idea. Knapp doesn’t mail out a pamphlet. He finds one farmer, Walter Porter, with seventy acres. He asks Porter to work part of his land a new way. Weevil-resistant practice, Porter’s own tools, Porter’s own hands, Porter’s own risk. The neighbors can watch or not watch as they please. They watch. The field pays. And the neighbors believe it, because it didn’t happen in a college or in a pamphlet. It happened in the real world, across the fence, to a man they shared Sunday supper with. Knapp says: what a man hears, he may doubt. What he sees, he may possibly doubt. But what he does himself, he cannot doubt. That is the whole invention. County extension. That is the office in the basement. Because the knowledge was real, and it was locked up. In nineteen fourteen, colleges know how to double crop yields, and the average farm has never heard of any of it. Yields are flat. Soil is failing. Young people are leaving rural America in numbers that frighten the government enough that a presidential commission studies the countryside and comes back warning that the movement toward the towns, left alone, will sterilize the open country. So Congress makes a bargain, and the bargain has three parties. Washington pays a share. The state college pays a share. And the county pays a share, because the men who wrote it wanted the knowledge to live where the farmers live, in the courthouse, down the hall from the assessor, behind a door you could walk to. A person, not a pamphlet. The work is one tool, instruction and demonstration, the Porter farm written into federal law. The gap between what was known and what was done was the whole problem. Close the gap and the country lives. For a long time, that was true. In the annex, Carol Ann Vasek is halfway through a sentence about the fair. Act II. Scene Three. The Annex …the fair, which her family has worked every July since her oldest was nine. The fair doesn’t die if the office closes, she says. But somebody at this table explain to me who teaches the kids how to show. What happens to the fair if the kids stop, she asks. She sits down. The commissioner on the chairman’s left, the one who made the motion, asks Dana about the field day in August. The soil health one, out at the research plot. Dana says four people came. She says it’s on page six. She reports everything: the nine hundred phone calls and the folding chairs and the field days, it all goes in the report. Somewhere in the minutes Arlene is keeping, this same item appears in March of nineteen eighty-six, and March of nineteen sixty-one, and every March back to when the minutes were kept in ink that no one has looked at for years. The chairman asks Dana if she wants to respond to Commissioner Hollis before the board moves on. Eleven years. North of a million dollars of the county people’s money. What did we buy. What difference did it make. She closes the annual report and stands with it. She says she can’t point to a line in the budget that says, because of this office, that family stayed, or that herd lived, or that kid came home. What she can hand him is a list of what stops on April first. Thirty-one applicator cards. That card is federal law. There’s an online course now, sixty dollars, if you’ve got broadband and the patience for it, and half the men holding those cards have neither. Without this office, the in-person clinic is three counties away. The 4-H clubs can’t hold a bank account or sign the fairgrounds contract or insure a livestock show without the university standing behind them, so you don’t end 4-H with a speech, you end it with paperwork. And the phone. She looks at Albers when she says the phone. Then she opens the report again, to the front page, and reads the sentence a second time. To aid in diffusing among the people of the United States useful and practical informa

  4. Jun 23

    The Art of the Deal

    The shouts pass over the water to Lincoln. He sits there, silent. The man who, more than any other, overstepped his authority in a time of war. Habeas corpus suspended. A nation half at arms. And the question underneath all of it, whether any nation so conceived and dedicated could long endure. He broke the limit. But he never pretended he was above it. He answered to the Congress, to the ballot, to the cost, and he paid that cost in the open for the only stake that could justify it. The Republic. Real power accepts its limits. Performed power breaks them, and breaks the one thing we can’t rebuild: Our power to say no. Humidity on the night air. The statues of Washington and Jefferson and Lincoln and Roosevelt look down on the South Lawn of the White House. There, a cage. A hulking structure of steel and chain link named The Claw. Seven fights tonight. Men punching and kicking and choking each other on the grass where children roll Easter eggs in the spring, steps from the Oval Office. A million-dollar restoration commitment waited for the grass. Ruined by morning. The president comes out of the Oval and down the colonnade beside the man who runs the fights. Dana White is smiling. Behind them, four thousand people. Cabinet secretaries. Generals. The Secretary of Defense. The Vice President. Mark Zuckerberg. Active duty troops in the seats. The Zac Brown Band sings the national anthem. The Blue Angels and Thunderbirds come over the house low and loud, and the president raises his hand and salutes. A chant starts somewhere in the dark. U-S-A. U-S-A. The broadcast goes out on Paramount. Closed captioning brought to you by TrumpCoins dot com. Limited quantities available now. It is the fourteenth of June. The Republic is two hundred and fifty years old this year. The president is eighty years old today. He wrote a book about power called The Art of the Deal. In that book, the deal is the close. The handshake, the signing, the moment in the room with the cameras running. The deal is the thing they watch you win. The spectacle. The theater. The entertainment. There is an older book about real power. The loudest move on the board is the weakest one, and a man who has to show you strength has already lost it. The statues keep looking down. They knew the difference between the two books. It is why we carved them in stone. Act I. Two Books He saw his name on everything. On the towers. On the steaks. On the water bottles and the ties. On the airplane that brought him in. Gold letters. His letters. Big enough to catch the light. A thing was not his until his name was on it. Then it was his. Then all men knew it. That was the book he had written. The Art of the Deal. A deal was a hand coming out. A flash. Men leaning in so they would be in the picture. Hold it. There. That was the one. They hung the picture on a wall. But a picture on a wall is quiet. A quiet thing dies. So there had to be another one. Another hand. Another flash. Another tower. Another name in gold. A man was only as strong as the last picture. The last picture was already fading. So the man was always late. Always running. Always losing the thing he had just won. It was a loud way to live. Loud and bright and over. And it had to be seen. A handshake in private never happened. A name in the dark was no name. He knew this as other men know weather. He had never done a thing that did not need a witness. The other book had no gold on it. It did not shine. It was old and plain and small enough to put in a coat pocket. Another book of Art. Of War. It did not ask to be looked at. He did not like that about it. He opened it and read a little. The words were old. They had crossed too much time to be in a hurry. They spoke of ground and water and waiting. They spoke of the fight won before the fighting. They spoke of not striking when the shape of things was already moving for you. He shut the book. Outside, the river moved below the house. He went down and stood on the bank. The water moved without hurry. It didn’t strike the bank. It took the low places. It went around stone. It slid under the willow roots and carried leaves and silt and small sticks and the cold of the mountains. It was going the way he needed it to go. He could have let it go. There was no one there to see that. There was no flash. No hand to shake. No wall to hang the picture. The river made no speech. It did not say his name. He watched it and felt nothing happen. That was the trouble. Nothing happening looked like losing. Long later than any man could live, the water would have the rock. It would not take it in one morning. There would be no sound of surrender. No one would know the hour. The rock would simply be smaller. Then smooth. Then the canyon would be there, and men would stand at the edge and call it beautiful. The river would not have signed it. He looked back at the house. The two books were still on the table. One had his name on it, the other did not. He knelt and put his hand in the water. It was colder than he thought. He closed his fist hard and stood. The water ran out between his fingers. Act II. The Siege There was a real river, and it was running his way. By the winter of that year, Iran was coming apart from the inside. The money was worthless. A man’s wages on Monday would not buy his bread on Friday. The women walked bareheaded into the street. They had cut their hair and burned the cloth the state put between them and the world. Girls had done it too, in schoolyards, with the cameras watching and the men with guns close enough to come for them. The people went into the streets in numbers the country had not seen since the revolution that made it, in every province, and the regime answered the only way it knew, and still they came back the next night, and the next. A government that must shoot its own people is a failing one. No one had to push it. It was going down on its own, and all we had to do was wait on the bank and watch. The night before the strikes, a man went on television and said the word peace. The talks had been running for weeks, led by Oman. A deal was within reach. On the table: Iran would never stockpile the material for a bomb. Inspectors would have the run of the place. The enriched uranium already in the country would be blended down and turned to fuel and made irreversible. It was not signed. It was a hand, extended. The thing his own book is built on. A hand coming out, across the table, in the room. We did not take it. He reached into the water and he closed his fist. It came the next night, all at once. The supreme leader, killed in his house. His family with him. While the smoke was still going up, a message went out to the Iranian people, telling them the hour of freedom was at hand, telling them to rise up and finish it. Regime change, announced from a podium, as a thing we had come to do. The regime that was falling on its own, for free, we now had to knock down ourselves, in front of everyone, so that everyone could see who knocked it down. And then the water did to him what he could not see coming. Iran had cards left to play, and one was made of water. The Strait of Hormuz, a narrow throat, a fifth of the world’s oil moving through it. They closed it. We ran a blockade. We sent the Navy to walk the ships through by force and called it Project Freedom, and the oil did not move, and the price of everything climbed, and week after week we spent another show of force to hold a thing that yielded nothing. The man who could not believe that power was water was being beaten, now, by water. By a current he could not strike and could not reopen and could not sign. So he went to the table after all. Versailles. Iran set the terms. They handed us the plan in April. The nuclear question, the only one we ever said mattered, unanswered. The toughest question set aside for later. We released billions of dollars for them. We agreed to help rebuild what we had spent the spring destroying. In exchange they opened the strait they had closed, the strait that was only ever closed because we refused to wait on the bank. We had a better deal in February. We tore it up to get a worse one in June. And the man went out and told the crowd it was a big day for world peace. He held up his fist, dripping, to show them how much of the river he had caught. Act III. Curtain It cost a great deal and bought almost nothing. Iran is far away. They were never coming for us. The strait will open and the oil will move and the price of gas will fall and you will forget the name of the war by autumn. You’ll not lose any sleep. Here is the thing to keep you up. There is a room where they decide whether the country goes to war. The men who built it had just finished a war against a king, and they put the power to start the next one in the hands of the many, not the one, because they had seen what the one does with it. The room was empty. No one came to it before the bombs fell. No one stood in it and made the case to the people, the way you are supposed to make the case before you spend their sons. The president did not come. And the men and women who keep the room, whose whole job is to keep the room, let him go around it, and said nothing, and watched the water drain from his fist. Later, when it was safe, they voted. The war was already lost. The thing was already done. They didn’t vote on whether to do it. That vote would have had their names on it. They voted on whether to make him stop, a vote they had counted beforehand and knew would lose, and they cast it into the air where it could not land on anyone, and they went home and told their districts they had tried. So now the room stays empty. The next man knows the way around it. He watched. Once we asked a man to be king. He had won the war. The crowd was his. He could have kept it. He gave it back, and went home to his farm, and that is the only reason there is a country here to write about. He made h

  5. Jun 16

    Man Eaters

    The mess. Mid rats. He came in a couple minutes early. He ate fast, at a table that became a hospital bed for the wounded, and then he cleared his tray and dishes and moved into the narrow passage with the pipes running low overhead, ducking his head around them. Up the metal stairs to starboard. A couple of minutes with the sea before the watch. The deck was nearly empty. In a few minutes the others would join him, shadowed faces moving through the dark. He stood at the rail to watch the sea under the dark sky. Clouds. Stars. The wake ran out like a long trail behind the ship, two glittering edges. In the morning he would commune with the sea again, and the wake would have a bright spine where the sun shone along it, further and further until the sea stopped being water and became sky. Forward of him a younger sailor stood the rail, eyes on the water, a phone cord running from his chest into the dark. The boy would relieve him. Then the watch. Below him the ship hummed, scopes and gauges and green light on men’s faces. Up here there was only his eyes and the water. He watched for the thing that would come out of the trail in the dark that the machines could not catch, and when he saw it he would call it down the wire to a man he could not see. He knew the man would answer. Nothing came for hour after hour. You stood there for a thousand nights so that you would be there on the one night it did. No thanks for the thousand. No one would know about the one. The wind crossed the swell and laid whitecaps on water. He smelled salt in the air. Act One. Brasada The brush did not care that he had left, or that he had come home. It just was, gray and low and thick, mesquite and blackbrush and cenizo that flowered purple after the rain but was not purple now. The ground under it, white dust that stayed on his boots. Nothing in the country was soft. The catclaw reached out and took his sleeve. He stopped and worked the thorn loose and then went on. By midmorning the heat had settled in. A caracara sat the fence post and watched him. To the south the river and past the river more of the same. He had stood the watch a long way from here. He had thought about this ground and what it would mean to come back. Now he was on it, hot and full of hooks, and he was glad to be here. His father was at the pens. He never asked the boy to help him do a job he could do himself, which was nearly everything. He did not ask how long the boy was home. He did not look up from the gate he was wiring shut. A plane flew overhead, low. “Cow’s calf is off in the tasajillo,” the old man said. “She’s bawling for it.” They found it in thick brush, in the only shade for a quarter mile, lying down. It was small and it did not get up. The son went down on one knee in the white dust and saw the navel and the wound. Wet and dark and moving. He knew. The wound was full of them, packed in tight and working deeper, head down, feeding, and the smell came up off it sweet and wrong and turned his stomach. He did not pull back. He looked at the small animal and the small mouths in it. He held the phone over the navel of the calf and took the picture and did not look at it. “Screwworm,” the old man said. Then he said, “We’ll doctor it,” and went for the truck. He cleaned it and picked them out and dressed it. The rider came up the road in the heat of the afternoon while they were still at it. Horses could go where you could not take a truck, and the rider wore leather to the knee against the thorns. He came this way every week, working the river and the ranches along it, looking at what crossed and what strayed. The watch. He looked down at the calf and at the navel they had cleaned, and his face changed, and he asked to see the picture, and the son gave him the phone. The rider looked at it a long moment. Then he made his calls, quiet, off to the side. He had hoped he would not have to. “Got word last week to watch the river hard,” he said. “Somebody south of here saw something.” He took some larvae from the dust. After that it moved fast. The sample went somewhere far north the old man had never seen. And then more planes. They came over low in the early morning, day after day, working a pattern above the brush, and the son stood out in the white dust and watched. He knew what they were carrying. Flies. Sterile. They would drop them out over the country by the millions so that the ones already here would breed to nothing and burn out. The cure and the sickness were the same bug, one barren and dropped from the sky onto the other. The son went back to the calf. It lived. First they fed it with bottles and then it got up on the fourth day and went to the cow. The wound dried and began to close. By the end of the week it ran from him along the fence and the old man watched it and was satisfied. “All that,” the old man said that evening on the porch. “Government flying airplanes around. Dropping bugs out of an airplane. Over one calf.” He drank his coffee. “And the calf’s fine. Hell, I doctored a hundred calves in my life and never needed the government to help me do it.” “You never saw one before,” the son said. “Never had to.” He finished the pot into his cup. “Man depends on a thing he can’t see and can’t fix, he’s not a free man anymore. He’s just waiting on somebody else to keep doing him a favor.” He drank. “I never wanted to be that man.” “You’re not wrong,” the son said. “The day they quit, we’re in trouble.” He watched the calf along the fence. “But the day they quit isn’t this day. This day the calf’s alive because a man in Panama didn’t quit. And a pilot you’ll never meet didn’t. The most you and I could do tonight was clean a wound. The rest of it we can’t do.” The old man thought about that and judged it foolish. “Hell of a thing,” he said. “Spend a man’s taxes on something that don’t happen.” He finished his coffee and went in to bed. The son stayed out on the porch. He had stood a great many watches full of things that did not happen. He knew what they cost and who paid for them. The cost wasn’t money. It was that a man who never stood the watch got to believe, his whole life, that there had never been anything out there in the dark at all. Act One and a Quarter. The Line Moscow. February. The cold came through the wall behind him. Someone in Washington had cabled a small question. Why do the men across the way behave as they do? He sat down to answer it. He filled one page and started another. The thing across the way did not hate them over this quarrel or that. Not the kind of quarrel men settle and forget. It hunted an enemy because it needed one. Take the enemy away and it would find another, because without an enemy it could not explain itself to its own people. He saw. Wrote it down. The answer ran too long for the wire. He broke it into five parts and sent them through one after another. The clerk worked the key deep into the night. Moscow to Washington. Piece by piece. He did not know if anyone would read it the way he meant it. He sent it anyway and went to bed. He said we could not beat the thing head-on. The trying would break us. He said we should stand at every place it tried to widen. Hold there. Wait. Let it spend itself against its own nature. The thing carried the seed of its own ruin and would rot from the inside if we only denied it room. Men on the far side had to hold too. They needed roads and radios and law. They needed officers who would answer when called, and clerks who would send the message, and pilots who would fly the route. They needed men who could see the thing when it came. We could not be their backbone forever, but we could bring tools and money and time, and we could leave them able to hold their own ground. He could not prove it and that was the trouble. Hold and wait looked like weakness to good men, and good men told him so. He could read the enemy one way and they could read it another, and no one could open the thing up and see who was right. He held it on faith and argued it the rest of his life and never got to be sure. Far south, another man chased an insect, and the insect gave him the proof the other man never got. He could not poison the screwworm off the land. It bred faster than he could kill it. It bore him no malice. It was hungry, and it would never stop being hungry. So he stopped trying to kill the ones in front of him. He took hold of one thread, even though other men laughed at it. The female mates only once in her life. He reared the flies by the thousand. Fed them gamma rays until they could not breed. Turned them loose to find the wild ones. The wild female spent her one mating on a barren male. Her young never came. The next brood came fewer. The one after that thinner still. The thing emptied itself out of a country without a shot, not from a blow of force, but from its own breeding turned against it. He tried it first on a small island two miles off Florida. He dropped the barren flies by the thousand and watched the count fall. Then the count quit falling. The island sat two miles out, and the mated females flew back across the water faster than the barren males could empty them. So close. It didn’t take. The line had a far side he did not hold, and the fly walked back across it from the country next door. So he looked for ground with no country next door. He found it forty miles out in the warm sea. He flew the same barren flies down from Orlando, packed in paper bags, and ran the same lines a mile wide over the brush, week after week. This time the count fell and kept falling. Four generations of it. Then one morning he read the trap and nothing answered. He read it again before he believed it. Here was the proof the other man died wanting. Hold the line, deny the thing room, and it ruins itself from the inside. Neither man knew the other. Neither knew their idea was

  6. Jun 9

    Latrines

    Behold again the stars. The light. The stairs down. Down. There are no windows in the basement of the residence hall. The light comes from tubes that hum in the ceiling. It does not change, the same at five in the morning as at noon. He could work an entire spring semester down here and never once know what the sky was doing. He lets himself in with the key on the loop at his belt. The door shuts behind him. The hum of the fixtures, the only sound in the part of the building that is awake. He fills the bucket at the mop sink. Warm water. It will be gray inside the hour. He wheels the cart down the tiled row to the elevator. The squeaky casters have needed oil since before he started this job and he has stopped hearing them. He begins on the third floor at the far end, where the rooms are worst, because the morning can only get better after those. He works the stalls first. He doesn’t think much about what the weekend has left him. It’s the same every Monday. He mops. Wrings the mop. Sets the yellow sign across the door though no one will come for an hour. He does the work the way it needs done because there is no reason to do it the other way. A bathroom is clean or it is not. A great and shining institution cannot have filthy bathrooms, and so the bathrooms are clean. Who would clean them? And so he does. It’s not the hardened waste or urine on the floor or vomit or hair or broken glass or cups or mud or the smell that beats him. It’s the wall under the hand dryers. The hot air throws water off wet hands and the water carries what is on them, and over the years it streaks down into the paint, a yellow bloom low on the wall in the shape of everyone who ever made the mark and walked out. He scrubs. He has scrubbed since September. He found the cabinet with the stronger chemical and used the stronger chemical. The bloom lifts a shade. It’s the color of piss, but it’s been scrubbed clean. The supervisor is an older man who has been in the building longer than some of the faculty. He stops on his round and looks at the wall and tells him kindly to give it another go. The supervisor believes the wall comes clean. It is his building and his name on the schedule, and he cannot allow himself to believe it will never come clean. Even though he knows only paint will make the wall white again, the boy gets back to it. He works the brush in tight circles. The chemical bites the back of his throat. The musty heat of the room comes up through his jeans. Above him the dryers wait their turn. He scrubs it again. It does not come clean. Act I. No Windows Ten O’Clock. The boy’s hands, clean and resting on a table on the second floor, where there are windows. He showered. Changed his shirt. The cart back in its closet, yellow sign hung above the mop sink. None of the morning is on him now. Not the smell or the chemical, nothing a person could see. The room is comfortable in a way the basement was not. The light moves through clouds outside. He takes a seat where he can watch it. There are nine of them and the professor. They are reading Rawls. The professor asks a question he is fond of. Imagine you do not know who you will be. Rich or poor. Gifted or ordinary. This family or that one. You must choose the rules of the society before the curtain lifts and you are told which life is yours. He lets it sit. Would you choose this one? The boy across the table answers first. He almost always answers first. This boy’s room is on the third floor. A corner suite, good light, and two windows. The nearest bathroom to his is the worst room in the hall. The third-floor boy doesn’t know that anyone knows this. All he knows is that the room is clean when he wakes. He has never wondered who cleans it. No reason he would. The world arrives each morning already ready for his use, the way it always has. The loud boy says society is just. He speaks well. He says that the door is open to anyone and that the ones who walk through it do so because of who they are, not who they were. On the other side of the door is a place that doesn’t ask where you came from, only what you can do. No one hands you anything here. The boy who scrubbed his bathroom at five stays silent. He could say something. He knows the thing you would say. He read it in this very seminar, three weeks back. They had all read it. There are as many students here from the top percent of the country as from its entire bottom three-fifths. He knows which part he came from. He cleans bathrooms at five in the morning. He could lay it out for them now. He does not. The attention is not on him and he would rather keep it that way. He folds his hands. Watches the cloud move across the light. The seminar runs its hour. The professor is not cruel. Not one of them is lying. But the room cannot see. Up here, the room believes everyone here is equal. The corner room boy believes the door is open because when he walked through it, it was open. The professor believes the question is still a question. Only the boy with the mop sees both parts of the building, and he says nothing because there is nothing to say that the room will hear. The professor closes the book. The hour is up. The boy from the third floor gathers his things and goes, and does not look at him on the way out, the way you do not look at what you do not know is there. At five tomorrow, he will be scrubbing the wall again. At ten, he will be back in this chair. He is the only one at the table who is both, and no one at the table knows it, and that is the stain. Act II. The Dark Page There is a window. At night the window is a black square with his reflection in it, not a view. He sits at the desk in the dark so as not to wake his roommate. The light comes off the screen and the cursor waits on him. The assignment. Six pages. Take the veil of ignorance and test it against a life. He can finish the essay in an hour. He has it in his head already. He starts. “Behind the veil, not knowing whether we will be rich or poor, we would build a society that protects the worst off, since any of us might be the worst off.” True. He keeps going. He writes that protecting the worst off does not have to mean the dishwasher and the surgeon take home the same pay. It means the dishwasher’s kid gets a fair run at the surgeon’s job. He thinks of a runner’s analogy and writes that fast runners should be allowed to run. He believes a piece of it. After all, in a classroom, he is a fast runner and has always been. That’s how he came to be at this university. He has known since he was small that his mind closes on a problem faster than the room around him, and he cannot pretend otherwise. He also knows there are slower runners, and you can’t make a slow runner fast. He writes that the rules should clear the track so a man or woman willing to run can get somewhere. This is what justice owes a person. Not the finish line, but a fair run at it. He reads it back. It is clean. Correct. He cannot find a false sentence in it. And it is a lie. Not in what it says. In what it leaves out, which is the whole of his own life. He is fast. And he cleans the bathroom at five. Both. No one cleared the track for him; he ran it carrying a mop, at an hour the corner-room boy will never see, and he is going to make it anyway, and the essay he just wrote would say that proves the system works. The fast runner ran and won. It is a lie. He keeps at the philosophy and the philosophy keeps beating him. Reward the runner who’s willing to run. Fine. But who handed the runner the will? The ability to run with the pain in your side. The discipline to run the sprints, quarter mile after quarter mile. He didn’t build the part of himself that works. It came down to him, from a mother, from somewhere, set before he could choose it, the same as the fast came down to him. Praise a man for trying and you’re praising him for something somebody handed him. Turn it the other way, though, and it’s worse. If trying comes down to pure luck, then nothing is earned, by anyone. A world that hands the man who runs and the man who sits the same bread will get a great deal less running. He has seen it. He knows the difference between a man who works and a man who waits, even if neither one chose the engine he was born with. The philosopher can prove on paper that no one earns anything. The boy who cleans the floor at five has seen too much to believe him, and could not tell you why. The old king had it three thousand years ago and the seminar hasn’t caught up. The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise. Not because the swift aren’t swift. Because the race was never the only thing happening. Time and chance happen to us all. It goes through his mind but he doesn’t write it down. The professor wants Rawls, not an old king. He looks at the clean, correct, lying page, and he does the only thing there is to do with a thing that will not come clean. He turns it in. Act III. The Stage The professor hands the papers back on a Tuesday. He saves the boy’s for last, and he means to discuss it. He sets it down and taps it and says it is good work, but that he lost the thread at the end. The connection to Rawls fell apart. Would the boy say a little more about what he was reaching for. The room glances at him. He could give them the quick easy version. He has it in his head already. But he can’t quite get to it. Instead he says he wasn’t reaching for anything. He says he was trying to write down what he already knew and couldn’t make sense of. He doesn’t say this out loud, but he knows it in his gut because he cleans the bathrooms, but putting it into words is…is… They wait. He knows it the way he knows the weight of a mop bucket, and they don’t. He says: you asked us to imagine not knowing who we’d be. He says he doesn’t have to imagine it. He says the man who wrote the question didn’t have to imag

  7. Jun 2

    The Drought Sale

    A man selling good cows is not happy about it. Wednesday morning in May. He pulls into the gravel lot at half past seven. The sun is up but the cold has not gone. Winter is fighting summer. Some days in May might reach the 80s, some days snow. His breath hangs in the air and catches on the bill of his hat. Jesse stands on the seat and watches the door. The lot is full. It should not be full. Wednesday is not a normal sale day in May. Today is a drought sale, and the trailers are lined up in rows he has not seen in this lot in years. Goosenecks and bumper-pulls. Plates from three states. Some of the trailers have cows in them with calves still wet at their sides. The market is so busy there aren’t enough pens to hold all the groups. The ranchers unload, and the cattle move straight through the alleys into the sale ring, then onto a different truck. A rancher does not haul a wet calf to a sale barn unless something is wrong. He kills the engine. Sits a moment. The check he is about to get is already in his head. The math is bad and the math is the math. Twenty-five head in the trailer. Cows he had not planned to sell for years. Good cows. Bred back. The snow and the grass didn’t come this winter and the hay he would need to carry them through summer is gone or priced past what the check from October will cover. Some years he might have been able to buy hay from Missouri and ship it, but fuel prices are way high because some strait on the other side of the world is closed, so that doesn’t pencil out. He has run the numbers a hundred times since April. There is no version where he gets to keep them and still make money. He steps down. The gravel crunches. Jesse, Bentley mark on her forehead, stays in the cab. The brand inspector is at his post off to the left of the building. Same man. Carhartt and a brown ballcap. He looks up and nods. He has been doing this a long time and he has never seen a Wednesday like this one. He does not say so. He does not need to. Inside, the pay window. Three ladies behind it. One of them smiles at him the way she has smiled at him for twenty years. He touches the brim of his hat. Through the door to the arena. The stairs are tall and the bleachers are full. Men he knows. Men he does not. Coffee in styrofoam. The smell of diesel and pine shavings and manure that his father knew and his grandfather before him. The auctioneer is already going. He climbs up. Finds a seat. Watches. The buyers are in the front row. He counts them. Three. There should be more. He drove four hours past Buffalo to get to a barn that has eight on a good day. Today there are three, and none of them are looking up. A heeler trots up the aisle. Red, with a bad left ear. She sniffs his boot. Moves on. The cows come through. Cow calf pairs, mommas still wet from calving with their calves in the pen behind them. A man two rows down has his hand over his mouth. The auctioneer’s chant rises and the gavel falls and rises and falls again. His turn comes. Twenty-five head out of the trailer. Black, good condition, papers clean. The gate opens and they come through in a knot, hooves and dust, and the man with the flag moves them into the ring. The chant starts. A nod from the buyer for the Nebraska feedlot. A nod from Oklahoma. The Colorado man does not look up. The pause. The gavel. The price is the price. He walks down. Goes to the pay window. The lady he knows slides a check across the counter. She doesn’t smile. He folds the check and puts it in his shirt pocket and thanks her and touches his hat and walks out. The trailer is empty when he gets to it. Jesse stands up on the seat and waits for him to open the door. He sits a moment before he turns the key. The lot is still full. Other men are still in the bleachers. Cows in the holding pens behind the building are bawling for the calves they came in with, the calves now in different pens behind different trailers belonging to men they have never met. He has played the game for thirty years. His father played it for forty. His grandfather homesteaded the ground. It was never designed for him to win. He starts the truck. Pulls out of the lot. Four hours home. He has all afternoon to think about it. On the drive home, he passes a sign for a high school football field. He doesn’t think about it. He should. Act I. Hope in the North A Sunday in January, a sports bar in Detroit, a man in a Lions jersey watched his quarterback take a knee. Jared Goff at quarterback. Three years before, the Lions and Rams had swapped quarterbacks. The Lions sent Matthew Stafford to Los Angeles. The Rams sent Goff to Detroit along with two of their best draft picks for the next two years to make the deal go through. The NFL holds one draft a year. Every team picks new college players in turn, worst team first, best team last, the rule that has built competitive balance in the league for ninety years. Los Angeles gave up its top picks in two of those drafts to get Stafford. Two years of the league’s best mechanism for building a future, handed over for one quarterback. The Lions took the deal because they hadn’t won a playoff game in thirty-two years and had nothing left to lose, and because the picks the Rams handed over were what they needed to build a team around the quarterback nobody else wanted. Then, 2022. HBO put new head coach Dan Campbell’s fiery speeches on ‘Hard Knocks’ and the city took to him right away. The team started one and six that year, and then won eight of their final ten games. A year later. On this Sunday, in the wild card round of the 2023 playoffs, the Lions were ahead of the Rams by three with two minutes on the clock. Goff dropped back. He threw a first down to Amon-Ra St. Brown, a fourth-round receiver every other team had a chance to take, a receiver Detroit had taken because the rules of the draft put him in their pile when nobody else wanted him. The first down moved the chains. The clock kept running. Then the victory formation. Goff under center. The snap. The knee. Clock running. The crowd on its feet. The man at the bar with his hand on his beer and his eyes on the television and his throat closed. The Rams fans somewhere far away, already gone. The man at the bar had grown up watching the Lions lose. His father had grown up watching the Lions lose. Thirty-two years. The Lions had been the worst-run franchise in American sports. The rock bottom of those years came in 2008 when they became the first team in NFL history to lose every game of a season. Detroit was the punchline of every joke about American decline and the people who lived there had been told by everyone who had never lived there that the city was finished. The man at the bar had not moved on. And on this Sunday in January, his team was taking a victory knee in a playoff game. The league was built for this. The teams had the same salary cap. The same revenue from the same national television deal. The same weighted draft order that gave worse teams better picks the next year. Rules written so that thirty-two years of losing could be ended by good drafts and good decisions and a fair chance. The Lions did not win the Super Bowl that year. They lost the divisional round the next week by three points, on a kick as time expired. The season didn’t need a trophy. The season had done the work. Detroit had been crushed by shuttered auto plants and fights between capital and labor. The Lions gave them reason to keep going. The man at the bar would carry that reason into his Monday morning. Into the rest of the winter, into the next season and the season after that. Whatever else the Lions did or did not do, the man at the bar had been given back the thing that had been taken from his city for thirty-two years. A country, like a city, has to be allowed to keep what it has earned. Our founding documents are our rules. The rules say we the people, for the people. They claim a kid born in a leaky trailer can raise her children in a warm house, with food on the table, in a good school district. They are either true, or they are the most spectacular lie ever committed to paper. Competition does not happen naturally. The principle is older than football, and the league did not invent it. It has to be designed. Enforced. Maintained, year after year, against the gravitational pull of consolidation, because consolidation is what every winning team and every winning company would prefer if the rules allowed it. The rules aren’t focused on the teams. They’re focused on the people. At the start of every season, any fan can believe their team can win a playoff game. The salary cap does not celebrate competition. It is an admission that without it, the Steelers and the Patriots and the Chiefs would eat everyone, and the product would die. The NFL’s design isn’t perfect. The Patriots ran the AFC East for two decades. The Chiefs have run the AFC West for most of the last ten years. The Packers under Lombardi won five championships in seven seasons. Talent clusters. Coaches and quarterbacks and general managers cluster with talent. The design can’t stop Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes from being great quarterbacks. The design constrains the time over which a team can dominate everyone else. Imperfect is not the same as failed. And it took many years to build consensus. In February of 1936, Bert Bell, owner of the worst team in football, proposed that the league’s college player draft be run in reverse order. Worst team picks first. Best team picks last. The richest owners in the room would lose the freedom to outbid Bell for college talent. They would lose the path to permanent dominance. Bell argued that without the rule, the strongest teams would consolidate talent year over year, the weaker teams would fold one by one, and a league without competitive balance would lose its audience. The vote was unanimous. The first NFL draft was held two days later. The reverse-order dr

  8. May 19

    We Are All Republicans, We Are All Federalists

    Dr. Nick van Terheyden had bone pain that he could not explain. He was fifty-eight, a physician in Maryland. A specialist ordered a $350 blood test for vitamin D deficiency. The test came back positive. The deficiency was severe enough that if left untreated, it would lead to osteoporosis. Van Terheyden’s insurer was Cigna. They refused to pay for the test. The corporate medical director who signed the denial letter said the test wasn’t medically necessary. Van Terheyden read the letter, looking for the clinical reasoning. There was none. Only generic language, a response from a machine. He filed an appeal. A second medical director upheld the denial. To reimburse van Terheyden for the test that had come back positive, van Terheyden would have to prove he had a vitamin D deficiency before the test had been done. He kept investigating. Cigna used a system that flagged mismatches between billing codes and acceptable diagnoses. It let the company’s medical directors deny claims in batches without opening a patient’s file. Internal documents later showed that the doctor who rejected van Terheyden’s claim rejected roughly sixty thousand claims in a single month. Over a two-month window, Cigna physicians denied more than three hundred thousand payment requests. The average review took 1.2 seconds. It took seven months and an external medical review to force the insurer to pay the $350. Two years passed. On December 4, 2024, a man named Brian Thompson stepped out of a New York hotel and was shot dead on the sidewalk. He was the chief executive of UnitedHealthcare. Shell casings left behind were inscribed with three words: deny, defend, depose. Across demographic lines, Americans began telling their own stories. Denials, delays, bankruptcies, deaths. The shooter had read the same files Dr. van Terheyden had. So, it turned out, had millions of others. The event left a question America still cannot bring itself to ask out loud. What would it take to build a healthcare arrangement Americans can actually live with? Act I. The Body In Centerville, Ohio, Tim Anderson watched his wife die for three years. Doctors diagnosed Mary Anderson with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. ALS destroys motor neurons one at a time. The body loses the ability to walk, then to swallow, then to speak, then to breathe. The mind stays. The patient is awake for all of it. By the end, Mary could no longer move her arms or her legs. She could no longer eat without help. Her voice was going. Her physicians prescribed equipment to help her breathe and to help her speak. The Andersons were insured through UnitedHealthcare. UnitedHealthcare denied both claims. Tim Anderson appealed. The company denied the appeals. He appealed again. The denials continued. The medical necessity of the equipment was not in dispute among Mary’s doctors. The diagnosis was not in dispute. The progression of the disease was not in dispute. The only substance in dispute was whether the insurer would pay. The Andersons could not get coverage for the machines that would have helped Mary breathe or speak. Toward the end, Mary communicated by blinking when Tim held up pictures. The family relied on donations from a local ALS group to cover what their insurance had refused. She died in 2022. After the shooting on the sidewalk in New York, Tim Anderson spoke to a reporter. He said this: “The business model for insurance is don’t pay. When Mary could still talk, she said to me to keep fighting this. It needs to be exposed.” The Andersons live in red, rural Ohio. Tim Anderson is sixty-seven. He worked his whole adult life, paid his premiums, raised his family. He didn’t enter the healthcare debate through ideology. His wife’s battle brought him into it anyway. Eight hundred miles south, in Jefferson, Georgia, Luke Seaborn opened a shop to restore classic cars. Seaborn was fifty-four. He had been trained as a chemical engineer and had spent years in corporate work before leaving to do what he loved. The shop was small. The private insurance market for a small business owner in rural Georgia was punishing. For himself and his son, the premiums were close to impossible. In 2023, Georgia’s Republican governor Brian Kemp launched a program called Pathways to Coverage. It was a Medicaid waiver with a work requirement. Eligible Georgians could enroll if they could prove they were working, studying, or volunteering at least eighty hours a month. The program was designed as a conservative answer to Medicaid expansion. It tied coverage to personal responsibility. Seaborn enrolled. He believed in what the program said it was. He was grateful for the coverage. When the governor’s office asked him to film a promotional video, he agreed. He stood in his shop, surrounded by vintage Fords, and praised Pathways as a blessing. The governor used the footage to argue that work requirements foster independence. Then the program began to fail him. Seaborn logged his eighty hours every month, as required. In November, the state canceled his coverage. The state had quietly introduced a new form. It required enrollees to periodically re-enroll by re-entering the same information in a different format. Only an insurance executive Seaborn had met during the promotional shoot could restore his benefits. He had to call her directly. A few months later, a software glitch stopped his text alerts. He logged into the portal in March and discovered his coverage was set to terminate on April first. The state said he had missed an annual income statement. His policy was not yet due for renewal. He could not reach a caseworker by phone. He paid out of pocket for his family’s medications while he tried to fix it. The Pathways program had cost Georgia taxpayers more than eighty-six million dollars by then. More than fifty million had gone to Deloitte Consulting to build the portal. The program had enrolled barely three percent of those eligible. Seaborn said this to a reporter: “I am so frustrated with this whole journey. I did what I was supposed to. But that wasn’t good enough.” Two Americans. Different states. Different tribes. Different illnesses and programs. UnitedHealthcare denied Mary Anderson’s breathing machine. The State of Georgia’s Medicaid portal canceled Luke Seaborn’s coverage. One was private corporate denial. One was public administrative failure. They are the same failure. In both cases, a working American did what the system asked. Paid the premiums. Filed the forms. Logged the hours. Played by the rules of the arrangement. In both cases, the arrangement failed to honor its own terms. The diagnosis, the mechanism, the grief. These are not partisan. The conservative rancher’s widow and the conservative small-business owner are not the only Americans this happens to. The diagnosis runs the country. Healthcare administration, then, is not a debate. It is a machine. Act II. The Architecture In Holly Springs, Mississippi, Dr. Kenneth Williams runs the only hospital within twenty-five miles. Williams is a family physician and the chief executive of Alliance HealthCare System. Holly Springs is in Marshall County. Marshall County has about thirty-eight thousand people. The next-closest hospital is a long drive. Williams has been there since 1999. Sixty to sixty-five percent of his patients are on Medicare. When Medicare Advantage came into the program in 2006, the math of running his hospital changed. For five years before that, Alliance had been profitable. After Medicare Advantage took hold, the hospital lost almost two million dollars in a single year. Denials came in patterns Williams had not seen before. Insurers rejected treatments his physicians ordered. Insurers a thousand miles away shortened stays his physicians said were necessary. The denials killed a geriatric psychiatry program Alliance had built to serve the county’s elderly. The hospital had to close it. Williams was blunt about the system and the insurers. “I knew that our hospital couldn’t exist under the payment system it is under right now,” he said. About the insurers he went further: “They don’t want to reimburse for anything. Deny, deny, deny. They are taking over Medicare and they are taking advantage of elderly patients.” The hospital had already ended inpatient care in March 2023. Then they had to close the only emergency room in Marshall County in April 2024. Williams kept what he could: outpatient services, the clinic, the lab. The architecture had dismantled the rest of his hospital, floor by floor. When a reporter asked him who suffered from the closures, he answered in two words. “My patients.” Williams does not know Dr. Nick van Terheyden. He has never read the ProPublica investigation of Cigna’s algorithm. He has not seen the internal documents showing what 1.2 seconds per claim looks like on a corporate scorecard. He does not need to. He has watched the same gears grind his county for more than twenty years. He watched it kill a psychiatry program for elderly people in rural Mississippi. He watched it nearly kill the hospital itself. The Maryland physician saw the algorithm. The Mississippi physician saw the cemetery. This is the architecture America built. Whether by design or by negligence, we built it. A patient gets sick. A doctor orders a test or a treatment or a piece of equipment. A system designed to find reasons not to pay reviews the order. A doctor does not. The reviewing doctor, if there is one, does not open the file. The system issues the denial. A second reviewer hears the appeal and upholds the first. The patient appeals again, if the patient has the time and the literacy and the energy. Most do not. The question this architecture raises is older than the architecture itself. Who decides? Who has the authority to decide what shall be done with a human body? The person whose body it is, the doctor she has chosen to examine her, or a corporate med

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Philosophy from the American Experiment | A Spotify Rising Star Podcast joelkdouglas.substack.com

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  • Creator
    Joel K. Douglas
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    144
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Joel K. Douglas
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    I Believe