Losing a child, a parent, a distant cousin: the data says your grief isn't the same, and neither is what helps. In this episode, I'm speaking with Dr Candice Mace, a clinical psychologist, research supervisor and sessional academic at Deakin University and The Cairnmillar Institute, where she also completed her Doctorate of Psychology (Clinical). Candice's clinical and academic work centres on grief, loss and trauma, and her doctoral research, in collaboration with Dr Russell Deighton, demonstrated the effectiveness of the Integrating Grief Program Victoria, a telephone-based grief counselling service delivered in partnership with Griefline. Her first study, published in Death Studies, found that brief telehealth grief counselling significantly reduced psychological distress among 197 people bereaved by sudden or traumatic death. Candice explains why grief found her before she found it, walks through the difference between the acute and adaptive phases of grief using her ball in the box analogy, and makes the case for why the popular five stages of grief were never actually designed to describe bereavement at all. We get into why grief research has historically been so thin, what changed when Prolonged Grief Disorder was added to the DSM in 2022, and why grief itself isn't a disorder, it's a normal response that can sometimes need specialised support. We spend real time on what her research actually found: brief telehealth counselling helps, but not equally for everyone. Losing a child produced the highest and most persistent distress of any relationship type. Cause of death mattered too, with cancer and drug overdose bereavements arriving with the highest initial distress, for very different reasons. And counterintuitively, people with only medium levels of social support sometimes did better than those with high support, because not all support is the support a grieving person actually needs. Candice closes by sharing her own experience of grief after losing her sister, and what she has learned about tolerating grief rather than locking it away. What you'll hear in this episode: Why grief found Candice before she found it, and how counselling hundreds of bereaved people at Griefline shaped her research questionsThe difference between acute and adaptive grief, and Candice's ball in the box analogy for how grief changes over time, not in size but in how often it gets triggeredWhy the five stages of grief were never designed to describe bereavement at all, and why treating them as gospel can make people doubt their own griefWhy grief has historically been under-researched, and what changed once prolonged grief disorder was added to the DSM in 2022What the Integrating Grief Program Victoria actually is, how Victoria Police refers people into it, and who it isn't designed forWhy brief telehealth grief counselling worked, but not equally for everyone: the surprising role of relationship to the deceased, cause of death, age and social supportWhy losing a child produced the highest and most persistent psychological distress of any relationship type in the dataWhy cancer and drug overdose deaths arrived with the highest initial distress, for very different reasons, and what happened to that distress over six sessionsWhy medium levels of social support sometimes outperformed high levels, and what that reveals about the difference between well-meaning help and useful helpWhat complex or prolonged grief actually looks like in Candice's clinical work, and how it differs from grief that simply hurtsCandice's own experience of grief after losing her sister, and why she now believes in tolerating grief rather than locking it awayConnect with Dr Candice Mace Website: https://macecp.com.au/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/candice-mace-11943b24/ Resources Mentioned Calling in Grief Calling in Grief: A retrospective analysis of the effectiveness of a telehealth grief counselling program through a community-based organisation by Candice Mace and Russell McKenzie Deighton, published in Death Studies. Read the research on PubMed Integrating Grief Program Victoria (IGP-V) A partnership between Victoria Police and Griefline providing grief support for people affected by a death. Learn more about IGP-V Griefline Free grief and loss support, information and resources for people experiencing grief. Visit Griefline Lifeline 24/7 crisis support for anyone experiencing emotional distress or a crisis. Visit Lifeline Australia Beyond Blue Information and support for people experiencing anxiety, depression or a difficult time. Visit Beyond Blue The Compassionate Friends Australia Peer support for parents, siblings and families following the death of a child, sibling or grandchild. Visit The Compassionate Friends Australia Support After Suicide Support, counselling, groups and resources for people bereaved by suicide. Visit Support After Suicide StandBy – Support After Suicide Free support for people, families and communities affected by suicide bereavement across Australia. Visit StandBy Remember: you may not be ready to die, but at least you can be prepared. Take care, Catherine We'd love to hear from you. Send us a text :-) MY LOVED ONE HAS DIED, WHAT DO I DO NOW? Our guide, ‘My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now?’ provides practical steps for the hours and days after a loved one's death. Download it here. SUPPORT SERVICES If you're feeling overwhelmed by grief, find support through our resources and bereavement services here. The free 3-minute Critical Info Check helps you see what you’ve already got covered — and what your next step could be. Three minutes. One next step. Go to gettingstarted.criticalinfo.com.au Every Tuesday at 7pm, I host Critical Chat Tuesdays — free, online conversations where you can ask questions or just listen. No pressure. No expectation. Because this isn’t about planning for “someday” — it’s about being ready for whatever life throws your way. Join anytime at criticalinfo.com.au/events Support the show YOUR NEXT STEP Take the free 3-minute Critical Info Check to see what you’ve already got covered — and what your next step could be. https://gettingstarted.criticalinfo.com.au/ NEED SUPPORT? The Critical Info Resource Hub connects you with organisations and services offering grief, bereavement and other practical support. https://criticalinfo.com.au/support/ KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING Join Critical Chat Tuesday, a free online conversation every Tuesday at 7pm Melbourne time. Find out more: https://criticalinfo.com.au/events IF SOMEONE HAS DIED If someone you love has died, our After-Death Guide — My Loved One Has Died, What Do I Do Now? — provides practical guidance to help you navigate what needs to happen next. https://criticalinfo.com.au/product/my-loved-one-has-died/ LEARN MORE https://criticalinfo.com.au/ For resources mentioned in this episode, check the links and information provided in the episode description.
