The Human Intimacy Podcast

Humanintimacy
  • 4.6 (18)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

  1. 3d ago

    How to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Questions Every Couple Should Be Asking (Episode #122)

    How to Strengthen Your Relationship: The Questions Every Couple Should Be Asking Podcast Summary Relationships rarely fail because couples stop caring. More often, they struggle because they stop asking the questions that create understanding, connection, and growth. In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the questions every couple should be asking to strengthen their relationship, improve communication, and build deeper emotional intimacy. Rather than focusing solely on relationship advice, they discuss how meaningful self-reflection and intentional conversations can help couples gain clarity about where they are, where they want to go, and how they want to show up for one another. Topics include rebuilding trust, creating emotional safety, vulnerability, attachment, relationship expectations, annual marriage check-ins, and navigating life's unexpected challenges. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss how experiences such as betrayal, infertility, parenting stress, health concerns, and other major life transitions often force couples to reevaluate their priorities and rediscover what matters most in their relationship. Listeners will learn how thoughtful questions can uncover hidden assumptions, increase self-awareness, reduce resentment, and strengthen connection. The episode also explores the relationship between safety, trust, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy, drawing on insights from attachment theory, relationship research, and neuroscience. Whether you're recovering from betrayal, working through conflict, or simply seeking a stronger and healthier marriage, this conversation offers practical tools to help you create more meaningful and intentional relationships. What You'll Learn Why the question "What are we doing?" can transform a relationship How relationship goals evolve over time The importance of annual marriage check-ins How trust, safety, and vulnerability influence connection Why major life events often require couples to reassess their relationship The role of self-awareness in relationship success How asking better questions leads to deeper emotional intimacy Practical journaling and reflection exercises for couples How to identify and address unspoken resentments Why relationship growth requires intentional effort Key Questions from This Episode What are we doing in this relationship? Why do I want to be in this relationship? What kind of relationship do I want moving forward? How am I showing up as a partner? Am I being the person I want to be? What am I feeling right now? How often am I listening versus defending? What conversations have we been avoiding? What do I want our relationship to look like one year from now? How can I contribute more positively to our relationship? Resources Mentioned Relationship Research & Attachment John Gottman & Julie Gottman Stephen Porges Peggy Vaughan Jim Collins Recommended Reading The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Eight Dates Attached Secure  Learn more @ HumanIntimacy.com

    28 min

  2. Jun 3

    Affair, Addiction, or Something More? Understanding the Story Behind Sexual Betrayal (Episode #121)

    Affair, Addiction, or Something More? Understanding the Story Behind Sexual Betrayal Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most confusing and emotionally overwhelming questions couples face after betrayal: Was this “just” an affair, or is there something deeper happening? Together, they discuss the critical importance of understanding the full story behind sexual betrayal before attempting relationship repair. The conversation explores the differences between infidelity, compulsive sexual behavior, pornography addiction, emotional affairs, and trauma-driven patterns, while emphasizing why proper assessment and professional support are often essential. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explain how secrecy, deception, and incomplete information impact the betrayed partner’s nervous system, often leading to anxiety, hypervigilance, and worst-case-scenario thinking. They also discuss why premature couples therapy can sometimes do more harm than good when active betrayal or addiction is still occurring. Additional topics include: The progression of sexual behaviors Sexual history timelines and formal disclosures Trauma reenactment and attachment wounds The Zeigarnik Effect and unresolved emotional pain The impact of pornography and online sexual behaviors Why understanding the roots of behavior matters for healing How assessment tools help therapists identify deeper patterns This episode offers compassionate guidance for individuals and couples trying to make sense of betrayal, while reminding listeners that healing becomes possible when the full story is brought into the light. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Directory IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) SexHelp Therapist Directory Topics Discussed Sexual History Timelines Formal Therapeutic Disclosure Emotional Restitution Letters Betrayal Trauma The Zeigarnik Effect Trauma Reenactment Attachment Injuries Stabilization Before Couples Therapy Sexual Dependency Inventory (SDI) Sexual Digital Media Inventory (SDMI) Additional Human Intimacy Resources Human Intimacy Dr. Kevin Skinner

    32 min

  3. May 27

    Confident Conversations: Teaching Children Healthy Intimacy, Connection, and Emotional Safety (Episode #120) (with Dan Oakes)

    Confident Conversations: Teaching Children Healthy Intimacy, Connection, and Emotional Safety (with Dan Oakes) Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner sits down with Dan Oakes to discuss parenting, healthy sexuality, emotional connection, and prevention in today’s digital culture. Dan shares insights from his new book, Confident Conversations: Teaching Your Children to Develop Healthy Intimacy, which helps parents navigate difficult but essential conversations about sexuality, intimacy, attachment, and emotional regulation. Together, they explore how many parents feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality because they themselves were never taught how to approach these conversations in healthy, emotionally connected ways. The discussion reframes sexuality not as something shameful, but as a normal human drive connected to attachment, connection, and emotional intimacy. Dan explains how shame becomes attached to core human urges and how this can create cycles of restriction, secrecy, binge behaviors, anxiety, and compulsive pornography use. Using relatable metaphors and attachment-based principles, the conversation highlights the importance of replacing shame with openness, emotional safety, and co-regulation. The episode also explores: the connection between shame and anxiety, how pornography functions as a “supernormal stimulus,” why novelty and dopamine influence compulsive behaviors, the importance of emotional connection in prevention, and how parents can build trust and emotional safety with their children. Dan shares five foundational parenting principles from his book: Build trust above all else Protect the home environment Teach progressive developmental facts early Model healthy affection Respond with calm rather than fear or shame Throughout the conversation, Dr. Skinner and Dan emphasize that prevention begins with connection, emotional safety, and courageous conversations. The episode offers practical guidance for parents, grandparents, therapists, and educators seeking to help children develop healthy intimacy, emotional resilience, and meaningful human connection in a highly digital world. Resources & References Mentioned Book Confident Conversations: Teaching Your Children to Develop Healthy Intimacy — Dan Oakes Researchers & Concepts Sue Johnson — attachment and emotional responsiveness Niko Tinbergen — supernormal stimulus theory Co-regulation and auto-regulation research Attachment and emotional bonding principles Novelty, dopamine, and compulsive behavior research Shame cycles and compulsive sexual behavior patterns Key Topics Discussed Parenting and healthy sexuality Shame versus healthy sexual development Emotional regulation and attachment Pornography and supernormal stimuli Anxiety, shame, and compulsive behaviors Co-regulation and self-regulation Human intimacy and emotional connection Prevention strategies for pornography addiction Building trust with children Healthy affection and attachment Digital culture and emotional isolation Emotional safety in families

    34 min

  4. May 20

    Emotional Safety After Betrayal: Understanding Emotions, Trauma, and Relationship Healing (Episode 119)

    Emotional Safety After Betrayal: Understanding Emotions, Trauma, and Relationship Healing Podcast Summary In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the connection between emotional safety, betrayal trauma, emotional regulation, and relationship healing after infidelity or sexual betrayal. Many individuals struggling with betrayal trauma, anxiety, emotional disconnection, or relationship conflict often suppress their true emotions by saying “I’m fine” while internally feeling overwhelmed, hurt, angry, anxious, or emotionally exhausted. In this conversation, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why emotional honesty and emotional congruency are essential for rebuilding trust, emotional intimacy, and healthy communication in relationships. The episode examines how shame, emotional shutdown, avoidance, and trauma responses interfere with connection and healing. Listeners will also learn about emotional contagion, nervous system regulation, co-regulation, and the importance of creating emotionally safe relationships where both partners can openly express their feelings without fear of judgment, defensiveness, or rejection. Topics discussed include: Betrayal trauma recovery Healing after infidelity Emotional regulation in relationships Relationship communication skills Emotional safety and trust rebuilding PTSD symptoms after betrayal Emotional disconnection in marriage Co-regulation and nervous system healing Shame and emotional shutdown Understanding contradictory emotions after betrayal Emotional intelligence and self-awareness How unresolved emotions impact intimacy and connection Whether you are recovering from betrayal trauma, struggling with emotional intimacy, or trying to strengthen communication in your relationship, this episode provides practical insights into understanding emotions, rebuilding trust, and creating deeper human connection. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman A foundational book on emotional awareness, emotional regulation, empathy, and developing healthier relationship skills. The Choice by Edith Eger Discusses emotional healing, resilience, trauma recovery, and understanding core emotional experiences. The work of Brené Brown Especially her research on vulnerability, shame, emotional connection, and authentic relationships. Stephen Porges and Polyvagal Theory Understanding nervous system regulation, emotional safety, co-regulation, and trauma responses in relationships. Thich Nhat Hanh Referenced for his teachings on deep listening, mindfulness, emotional presence, and compassionate communication. Al Siebert Concepts on resiliency, emotional flexibility, and the “both/and” approach to emotional experiences. The Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) Course A structured framework designed to help couples heal from betrayal trauma, rebuild emotional safety, improve communication, and strengthen intimacy. Human Intimacy Resources and Courses Human Intimacy Additional Resources for Betrayal Trauma & Relationship Healing Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Understanding attachment styles, emotional needs, and relationship dynamics. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk A leading resource on trauma, nervous system responses, emotional regulation, and healing. Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson A guide to emotional bonding, attachment, and strengthening relationships after emotional injuries. Addo Therapy & Recovery Resources Therapy, betrayal trauma recovery support, couples counseling, anxiety treatment, mindfulness resources, and emotional healing support.

    37 min

  5. May 13

    Sex After Betrayal: Navigating Sexuality, Safety, and Connection (Episode #118)

    Sex After Betrayal: Navigating Sexuality, Safety, and Connection In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Marianne Michaelis explore one of the most confusing and emotionally charged topics couples face after betrayal: sexuality after discovery. Why do some couples stop having sex entirely while others become more sexual after betrayal? What does it mean if a betrayed partner still desires intimacy? And how do couples navigate sexuality in ways that are emotionally safe and healthy? Together, they discuss the impact betrayal has on sexual desire, emotional bonding, pornography, hypersexuality, shame, and the confusion many individuals feel surrounding intimacy after discovery. The conversation introduces the concept of “sexual self-mastery” and emphasizes the importance of awareness, communication, emotional safety, and intentionality in rebuilding intimacy. This episode offers compassionate guidance for individuals and couples trying to better understand their sexuality, emotions, and relationship dynamics during recovery and healing. Resources Mentioned The Betrayal Bond by Patrick Carnes Sensate-focused therapy concepts Sexual self-mastery Emotional regulation and communication skills Pornography and relational intimacy research HumanIntimacy.com

    34 min

  6. May 6

    Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About the Affair? Understanding Rumination, Triggers, and Healing After Betrayal (Episode #117)

    Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About the Affair? Understanding Rumination, Triggers, and Healing After Betrayal In this important episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most common and painful questions after betrayal: “Why can’t I stop thinking about it?” Together, they unpack the neuroscience and emotional reality behind rumination, intrusive thoughts, PTSD responses, triggers, and nervous system dysregulation after sexual betrayal and affairs. The conversation helps both betrayed and betraying partners understand why the mind and body struggle to “move on,” even when logic says the relationship may be improving. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss how betrayal disrupts safety, attachment, and reality itself, often leaving the betrayed partner feeling emotionally flooded, hypervigilant, and stuck in repetitive thoughts. They also explain how healing requires more than simply stopping behaviors—it involves nervous system regulation, emotional attunement, compassion, consistency, and deeper relational repair. Listeners will also learn practical tools for responding to triggers, including grounding exercises, journaling, movement-based trauma release, self-attunement, parts work, emotional regulation, and therapeutic approaches such as EMDR and ART. This episode offers hope, validation, and practical guidance for anyone struggling with intrusive thoughts after betrayal trauma. Key Topics Covered Why betrayed partners experience rumination and intrusive thoughts PTSD and betrayal trauma responses The difference between logical understanding and nervous system safety Why triggers continue even after behavior stops Emotional flooding and nervous system dysregulation How betraying partners can respond in healing ways Self-compassion and trauma recovery Tools for emotional regulation and trauma release Parts work and self-attunement EMDR, ART, and trauma-informed healing approaches Recovery capital and building support systems Resources Mentioned The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Brené Brown – research on exhaustion and uncertainty Jill Bolte Taylor – emotional processing concepts Calming the Emotional Storm by Sheri Van Dijk EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges Internal Parts Work / Self-Attunement Approaches Recovery Capital framework Human Intimacy Podcast episode on Empathy vs. Compassion Upcoming Course Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) — 12 Week Course Join Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis for the upcoming Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) course beginning May 7th. The course is designed to help couples heal from betrayal trauma through a structured process focused on: Safety Emotional regulation Accountability How to measure and create relational repair Compassion Rebuilding intimacy Learn More & Register: The Intimacy Repair Method (12-Week Online Course)

    35 min

  7. Apr 29

    Crucial Moments: How Couples Can Navigate Triggers Without Destroying Connection (Episode #116)

    Crucial Moments: How Couples Can Navigate Triggers Without Destroying Connection Episode Overview What happens when a trigger hits in your relationship—and everything escalates? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis break down what they call “crucial moments”—those intense emotional experiences where couples either move toward healing or fall back into painful patterns. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in the same argument, feeling unheard, or overwhelmed by emotional reactions, this episode will help you understand why those patterns happen—and how to change them. Why Triggers Feel So Overwhelming When a trigger hits, your brain shifts into survival mode. The amygdala activates, your nervous system becomes dysregulated, and your ability to communicate effectively drops. This is why: Conversations escalate quickly You repeat the same arguments You feel misunderstood or dismissed Your partner becomes defensive or shuts down Key Insight: You cannot create connection when your body is in a fight-or-flight state. The Missing Step in Relationship Repair Most couples try to fix the relationship while they’re emotionally flooded. Dr. Skinner emphasizes a critical principle: Stabilize yourself first. Then engage your partner. Without emotional regulation, even the best communication tools won’t work. Common Mistakes Couples Make During Conflict Many couples unknowingly reinforce disconnection during triggers. Watch for these patterns: 1. Marathon Conversations Trying to resolve everything in one conversation while both partners are overwhelmed 2. Defensiveness Disguised as Empathy Statements like: “I didn’t mean to hurt you” “I’m sorry you feel that way” These often feel minimizing instead of supportive 3. Relying Only on Your Partner for Regulation Expecting your partner to calm you down when they may also be triggered 4. Repeating the Same Cycle Having the same argument over and over without new tools or awareness How to Respond in Triggered Moments (What Actually Works) 1. Pause and Regulate Before responding, ask yourself: Am I emotionally stable right now? Is my body calm enough to have this conversation? If not, step away and regulate first. 2. Use Outside Support Sometimes your partner is not the right person in that moment to help you regulate. Consider: A trusted friend A support group A mentor or sponsor This can help you return to the conversation with clarity. 3. Shift from Reactivity to Curiosity Instead of reacting, try: “Help me understand what you’re experiencing” “Tell me more about what you’re feeling” This lowers defensiveness and builds connection. 4. Take Responsibility for Your Emotional Response Your emotions are valid—but how you express them matters. Healthy communication includes: Emotional honesty Self-awareness Respectful expression Understanding the Power Struggle in Relationships After betrayal or disconnection, couples often fall into power imbalances: One partner holds information or control The other feels uncertain, hurt, or reactive True healing requires moving away from: “One-up / one-down” dynamics And toward: Mutual honesty, vulnerability, and accountability Why Some Couples Stay Stuck for Years If you feel like you’re not making progress, it’s often due to: Incomplete or staggered disclosure Lack of emotional regulation skills Repeating patterns without addressing root issues Avoiding deeper vulnerability Key Insight: Without new skills, the same patterns will continue—no matter how much you talk. A Better Way Forward Healing doesn’t come from saying more—it comes from learning how to show up differently. That includes: Regulating your nervous system Communicating with clarity and compassion Practicing new patterns consistently Building emotional safety over time Key Takeaways You cannot be relational when you are emotionally dysregulated Personal stabilization is the foundation of relationship repair Triggers require skillful responses, not reactive ones Both partners play a role in creating change Progress comes from practice, not just insight Resources Mentioned in This Episode Intimacy Repair Method (IRM) Course Emotional Regulation & Nervous System Awareness Structured Disclosure Process Role Play Practice for Communication Skills Call to Action If your relationship feels stuck in repetitive conflict, you don’t have to keep guessing. The Intimacy Repair Method Course provides a step-by-step process to help couples: Rebuild trust Improve communication Create lasting emotional connection 📩 Have questions or topics you’d like us to cover? Email: info@humanintimacy.com

    33 min

  8. Apr 22

    How Do You Know You’re Making Progress After Betrayal? Understanding Safety, Awareness, and Real Change (Episode #115)

    How Do You Know You’re Making Progress After Betrayal? Understanding Safety, Awareness, and Real Change In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn explore one of the most common—and emotionally loaded—questions couples ask after betrayal: *“How do we know if we’re actually making progress?”* Healing doesn’t follow a straight line. Many couples feel stuck in a painful cycle of “two steps forward, three steps back,” leaving them wondering if anything is truly changing. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn break down what real progress looks like—not through checklists or surface behaviors, but through a deeper, more meaningful shift: **perceived relational safety**. They discuss how the body plays a central role in detecting safety through what is often called a “gut feeling,” drawing on concepts like neuroception from Stephen Porges. Listeners will learn why healing requires more than logical reassurance—and why the nervous system must begin to *feel* safe before true connection can return. Through a powerful role-play, they demonstrate the difference between reactive, defensive conversations and regulated, productive ones. This real-life example highlights how self-awareness, emotional regulation, and vulnerability can transform conflict into connection. They also address: Why some betrayed partners struggle to trust even when their partner is “doing everything right” The impact of shock versus gradual awareness in discovery How deception can distort one’s internal sense of safety Why stabilization must come before meaningful repair How consistency—not perfection—builds trust over time Ultimately, progress is not measured by the absence of conflict, but by how couples navigate it. When both partners develop awareness of their internal experiences and learn to communicate those experiences safely, healing becomes not only possible—but measurable. If you’ve ever questioned whether your relationship is moving forward, this episode offers clarity, validation, and a roadmap for what real progress actually looks like. Key Resources & Mentions The Intimacy Repair Method (IRM)   A structured approach to healing after betrayal, focusing on safety, stabilization, and rebuilding connection. Perceived Relational Safety Scale (PRSS)   A practical assessment tool to help individuals and couples measure how safe they feel in the relationship and track progress over time. Polyvagal Theory & Neuroception – Polyvagal Theory   Developed by Stephen Porges, this framework explains how the nervous system detects safety or threat and influences connection and emotional regulation. HumanIntimacy.com   Access courses, assessments, and resources to support healing and relationship repair. 12-Week Intimacy Repair Course   A guided program with role-plays, assessments, and step-by-step instruction to help couples rebuild trust and connection. --- Key Takeaway Progress isn’t about doing everything perfectly—it’s about creating consistent, safe, and honest interactions where both partners can begin to feel, not just think, that change is happening.

    36 min
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Ratings & Reviews

4.6
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Humanintimacy
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Human Intimacy Podcast

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