The Human Intimacy Podcast

Humanintimacy
  • 4.6 (18)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

  1. 2d ago

    After Betrayal: What is the Voice of the Betraying Spouse (Episode #137)

    What Is the Voice of the Betraying Spouse? After betrayal, the person who caused the harm may wonder whether they still have the right to express their feelings, disagree, set boundaries, or acknowledge when something hurts. At the same time, the betrayed partner needs space for their pain, anger, and trauma to be heard and understood. In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore a difficult but important question: What is the voice of the betraying spouse? The conversation examines the difference between accountability and self-punishment, why shame can cause the betraying spouse to lose their voice, and how defensiveness can prevent the betrayed partner from feeling truly heard. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore the idea that two things can be true at the same time. The betraying spouse must take responsibility for deception, dishonesty, and the pain their actions created. But accountability does not mean they no longer have feelings, needs, or a voice—or that they deserve to be demeaned, threatened, or abused. Healthy repair requires both partners to move toward emotional safety, honesty, and respect. They also discuss what happens when the betraying spouse hears statements such as “You never loved me.” Rather than immediately becoming defensive, the challenge is to listen for what may be underneath the words: “You hurt me deeply. Can you understand and feel my pain?” At the same time, the betraying spouse needs healthy places to process their own emotions. Therapy, recovery groups, and trusted support can provide space to work through shame, hurt, and discouragement without expecting the betrayed partner to carry those emotions while they are still healing. Ultimately, relational repair isn't about one person having a voice while the other remains silent. The goal is to gradually create a relationship where two people can show up, two voices can be heard, pain can be expressed without causing additional harm, and accountability and compassion can exist together. Resources Intimacy Repair Method Learn more about the Intimacy Repair Method and resources for betrayal trauma, betrayed-partner healing, acting-out partner recovery, and rebuilding relational intimacy. Human Intimacy Explore additional relationship resources and episodes of the Human Intimacy Podcast.

  2. Sep 16

    When Your Partner Won’t Engage in Healing: Finding Clarity When Values and Recovery No Longer Align (Episode 136)

    When Your Partner Won’t Engage in Healing: Finding Clarity When Values and Recovery No Longer Align Episode Summary What do you do when your partner refuses to discuss the betrayal, avoids recovery, or no longer seems to share the values that once defined your relationship? The uncertainty can become its own source of pain. You may feel trapped between pursuing answers, walking on eggshells, and remaining in a relationship where you no longer know what your partner believes or intends to do. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explore what happens when couples face significant differences in values, sexuality, honesty, and commitment to recovery. They distinguish between a genuine change in values, uncertainty about what someone believes, and the struggle to bring behavior back into alignment with deeply held values. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, differentiation, and honest communication. When you cannot control your partner’s choices, you can still clarify what matters to you, identify what you need from a relationship, and determine what you are—and are not—willing to accept. Difficult truth may lead to painful decisions, but it also gives each partner the information needed to move forward with greater integrity. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Facing the Shadow by Patrick Carnes — A structured guide for beginning recovery from compulsive sexual behavior and understanding the divided or “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” experience that can accompany addiction. Twelve-Step Recovery — The episode discusses concepts from the Twelve Steps, including distorted thinking, recovery, and the possibility of a spiritual awakening. The Prodigal Son — Luke 15:11–32 — A biblical account of someone who “came to himself,” recognized where his choices had taken him, and began moving toward a different way of living. Additional Support The Intimacy Repair Method — Resources for understanding betrayal trauma, rebuilding safety, strengthening accountability, and repairing relational connection. Human Intimacy — Courses and resources for individuals and couples seeking healing and healthier intimacy.

  3. Sep 9

    Betrayal Withdrawal: When Sexual Secrecy Creates Emotional Abandonment (Episode #135)

    Betrayal Withdrawal: When Sexual Secrecy Creates Emotional Abandonment Episode Summary What happens when a partner senses that something is wrong but cannot explain the growing distance? They may reach for connection, initiate affection, or ask what has changed—only to be told that everything is fine. Over time, repeated rejection and denial can cause them to question their perceptions and wonder whether something is wrong with them. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, introduce the term betrayal withdrawal to describe the emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual withdrawal that can accompany hidden sexual behavior. They examine how shame, secrecy, preoccupation, and emotional dysregulation can pull the betraying partner away from the relationship, leaving the unsuspecting partner feeling rejected, confused, and profoundly alone. After discovery, the direction of withdrawal may change. The betrayed partner may protect themselves by creating distance, while the partner who previously withdrew may suddenly want connection. Stopping the harmful behavior is essential, but it does not immediately repair the attachment wound or erase years of loneliness. Reconnection begins with honesty, accountability, and the willingness to witness the full impact of the betrayal. Through disclosure work, an impact letter, emotional restitution, professional support, and repeated efforts to remain present, couples can begin building a bridge across the distance. This work takes time and rarely unfolds perfectly—but each honest, emotionally present response can become a step toward greater safety and connection. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner — A couples-based guide to rebuilding honesty, trust, connection, and intimacy following sexual betrayal. Treating Sexual Addiction: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery by Dr. Kevin Skinner — Explores unwanted sexual behavior, shame, loneliness, recovery capital, and the process of lasting change. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson — Introduces an attachment-based approach to understanding emotional disconnection and the underlying question, “Are you there for me?” Hardwired Behavior: What Neuroscience Reveals About Morality by Laurence R. Tancredi — Referenced in connection with the neurobiology of bonding, attachment, and sexual motivation. Additional Support The Intimacy Repair Method — Learn about a structured, trauma-informed approach that helps couples move from the crisis of betrayal toward stabilization, emotional safety, accountability, restored trust, and deeper connection. Human Intimacy — Explore additional courses, assessments, podcasts, and educational resources for individuals and couples navigating betrayal and relationship repair. When betrayal withdrawal has created a deep attachment injury, these conversations may be difficult to navigate without support. A therapist trained in betrayal trauma and couples repair can help both partners approach the process with greater structure and emotional safety.

  4. Sep 2

    Why Is Healing Taking So Long? Navigating Trust, Setbacks, and Different Paces After Betrayal (Episode #134)

    Why Is Healing Taking So Long? Navigating Trust, Setbacks, and Different Paces After Betrayal Healing after betrayal rarely follows a straight path. Even when both partners are trying, progress can feel slow, uneven, and difficult to recognize. In this listener-question episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explain why recovery requires more than simply stopping the behavior. Lasting healing involves creating new emotional and relational patterns while allowing the nervous system time to experience safety again. They also explore how couples can distinguish between ordinary human mistakes, recovery slips, and a return to the patterns that made betrayal possible. The response often reveals as much as the mistake itself: defensiveness and minimization deepen uncertainty, while ownership, empathy, and meaningful course correction help restore trust. Additional questions addressed include: Why does healing take so long, even when both partners are working? How should couples define slips, relapses, and recovery expectations? Why can seemingly small inconsistencies feel so threatening after betrayal? How should a partner respond when the same questions keep returning? What happens when one partner wants connection and the other is not ready? How can couples determine whether they still share the same values and desire for reconciliation? Healing cannot be forced or rushed. It develops through honesty, consistent follow-through, patient responses to difficult questions, and repeated experiences that allow both the mind and body to recognize that something is genuinely changing. Resources Intimacy Repair Method — Learn about a structured approach to rebuilding safety, trust, and connection after sexual betrayal. IRM for Couples Intensive — Explore focused support for couples working toward relational repair. RISE: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal — A guided healing course for betrayed partners. Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner Rebuilding Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner The Developing Mind by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel — A resource for understanding how relationships and experience influence the brain. The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk — An exploration of how trauma affects the brain, body, and nervous system. Learn more and find additional courses at Human Intimacy. Have a question you would like addressed in a future episode? Email info@humanintimacy.com.

  5. Aug 26

    After Betrayal: Supporting Individual Healing and Relational Repair (Episode #133)

    After Betrayal: Supporting Individual Healing and Relational Repair Episode Summary Learning the full truth about a betrayal can be an important step, but it does not immediately restore safety or connection. Even after disclosure, the betrayed partner may continue experiencing fear, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, disrupted sleep, and uncertainty. These are understandable trauma responses—not signs that they are failing to heal or refusing to move forward. In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explore the different needs that emerge after betrayal. The partner who broke trust is responsible for addressing the behaviors and patterns that led to the betrayal, pursuing meaningful recovery, practicing consistent honesty, and learning to respond compassionately to the pain their choices caused. The betrayed partner’s focus is not on fixing the relationship or managing their partner’s recovery. It is on receiving support, understanding what has happened to their mind and body, establishing needed boundaries, and caring for themselves as they regain stability. This healing is not the same as forgiveness, reconciliation, or moving on before they are ready. When sufficient safety and stability have been established, couples may also begin learning how to communicate, respond to one another’s needs, and determine what relational repair could look like. That process cannot be rushed, and it does not replace the individual responsibility each partner carries. Healing develops gradually through support, honesty, accountability, and consistent action. Resources The Intimacy Repair Method — A structured approach to helping individuals and couples move from the crisis of betrayal toward stabilization, safety, trust, and relational repair. IRM for Couples Intensive — Learn about focused support for couples who are ready to work toward greater understanding, safety, and connection. Human Intimacy — Explore additional podcasts, courses, assessments, and resources related to betrayal trauma, recovery, and relationship healing. Invitation You do not have to rush your healing or navigate every part of this experience alone. To learn more about individual healing and couples work after betrayal, visit IntimacyRepairMethod.com.

  6. Aug 19

    Between Discovery and Disclosure: Seeking Truth Without Causing More Harm (Episode #132)

    Between Discovery and Disclosure: Seeking Truth Without Causing More Harm Episode Summary After betrayal is discovered, the need for answers can feel immediate and overwhelming. The betrayed partner is trying to understand their reality, while the partner who broke trust may be unprepared to provide a complete, coherent, and honest account. When these conversations happen without preparation, couples can become trapped in cycles of questioning, defensiveness, freezing, partial answers, and painful trickle truth. In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explore the difficult period between discovery and a formal therapeutic disclosure. They explain why slowing the process down does not mean denying the betrayed partner information. Instead, the goal is to gather the truth thoroughly, prepare for difficult questions, and reduce the risk of additional confusion and relational injury. The conversation also addresses why the question “Why did this happen?” requires more than a quick explanation. Understanding the deeper story may involve examining coping patterns, shame, trauma, sexual history, and personal choices—while maintaining responsibility for the harm caused. Listeners will learn how emotional regulation, appropriate boundaries, written questions, professional support, and a structured disclosure process can help couples move toward greater clarity, accountability, and safety. Resources & Links The Intimacy Repair Method™ for Couples — Coming Soon The upcoming IRM for Couples program will provide a structured approach to help couples strengthen emotional regulation, interrupt reactive cycles, rebuild safety, and develop healthier ways of communicating after relational injury. Learn more and watch for updates at IntimacyRepairMethod.com. Find a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) Couples preparing for a therapeutic disclosure may benefit from working with clinicians trained in betrayal trauma, compulsive sexual behavior, and the disclosure process. Find a provider through IITAP. RISE: Hope and Healing From Sexual Betrayal A 12-week guided course for betrayed partners offering assessment, education, and practical tools for managing trauma responses and moving toward healing. Explore the RISE course. RECLAIM: Healing From Pornography and Rebuilding Your Life Support for individuals working to understand and change pornography-related patterns, secrecy, shame, and unhealthy coping strategies. Explore RECLAIM. The Human Intimacy Podcast Find additional conversations about therapeutic disclosure, betrayal trauma, emotional regulation, relationship safety, and rebuilding trust. Listen to the Human Intimacy Podcast. Questions for Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn Listeners may submit questions for consideration in a future episode at info@humanintimacy.com. Closing Invitation If you and your partner are caught in repeated cycles of questioning, freezing, defensiveness, and unresolved pain, you do not have to navigate this process alone. The upcoming IRM for Couples program is designed to help couples slow these interactions down, regulate difficult emotions, communicate more productively, and create a clearer path toward truth, safety, and repair. Learn more at IntimacyRepairMethod.com.

  7. Aug 12

    Betrayal Trauma Is Not Codependency (Episode #131)

    Betrayal Trauma Is Not Codependency Episode Summary For years, partners who have experienced sexual betrayal have sometimes been labeled as codependent or “co-addicted.” But is that an accurate way to understand what happens after betrayal? In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the important difference between betrayal trauma and codependency. They discuss research showing that the trauma symptoms experienced by betrayed partners are distinct from codependency and explain why labeling a betrayed partner as codependent can unintentionally shift responsibility away from the person who engaged in deception or betrayal. At the same time, codependent patterns can exist in any relationship. Kevin and MaryAnn explore what happens when we become afraid to speak honestly, avoid conflict, enable unhealthy behaviors, lose our sense of identity, or depend on another person to determine our worth. The conversation also explores the importance of differentiation—learning to remain connected to others without losing yourself. Healing means recognizing what belongs to you, taking responsibility for your own growth, setting healthy boundaries, developing your voice, and refusing to take responsibility for another person's choices. Ultimately, healthy relationships are not built by losing ourselves in another person. They are strengthened when two people develop a clear sense of who they are while learning how to love, support, and connect with each other. Resources Facing Codependence — Pia Mellody A foundational resource for understanding codependency, its origins, and developing a healthier sense of self. Codependent No More — Melody Beattie A classic resource for recognizing codependent patterns, developing boundaries, and learning healthier forms of self-care. The Other Side of Infidelity — Dr. Kevin Skinner | TEDxRiverton A presentation exploring the often-overlooked experience of betrayed partners and the traumatic impact of sexual betrayal. Learn More About Healing as a Couple If sexual betrayal has affected your relationship and you are trying to understand how to move forward together, learn more about the Intimacy Repair Method™. The Intimacy Repair Method provides couples with a structured approach for rebuilding emotional safety, restoring trust, understanding each partner's experience, and creating greater connection after betrayal. Visit IntimacyRepairMethod.com to learn more about resources, courses, and opportunities for couples.

  8. Aug 5

    Betrayal Rage: How to Regulate Overwhelming Emotions Without Abandoning Yourself (Episode #130)

    Betrayal Rage: How to Regulate Overwhelming Emotions Without Abandoning Yourself Episode Summary After betrayal, many people experience a level of anger or rage that feels completely unfamiliar. They may yell, lash out, throw things, or feel an intense desire to make their partner understand the depth of their pain. When the moment passes, shame often follows: Who am I becoming? Why can’t I control this? In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, explain why betrayal rage is often a natural trauma response. When the nervous system perceives overwhelming threat, the brain can become flooded and shift into fight, flight, or dissociation. Understanding this response does not excuse harmful behavior, but it can replace shame with compassion and create an opportunity for change. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore how betrayed partners can recognize triggers, create a pause between emotion and action, and listen for the deeper pain beneath the rage. They also discuss how the partner who caused the betrayal can remain accountable and emotionally present without becoming defensive or escalating the conflict. Healing does not require eliminating every trigger. It means learning how to recognize what is happening, respond in ways that reflect your values, and develop a plan for moments when emotions become overwhelming. Key Ideas Betrayal rage is often an involuntary trauma response to deception, loss, humiliation, abandonment, and emotional threat. Understanding the biological response helps reduce shame, but it does not make physical, verbal, or emotional harm acceptable. Emotional flooding limits the brain’s ability to reason, empathize, and communicate productively. Choice begins with awareness: recognizing triggers creates space between the initial reaction and what happens next. Rage may function as a protector, defending a more vulnerable part that feels rejected, powerless, foolish, or not enough. Healthy regulation may include grounding, journaling, physical movement, support from others, planned timeouts, and professional help. The partner who caused the betrayal can help by acknowledging the injury, accepting responsibility, and remaining present when it is safe and productive to do so. Resources & Links Mentioned in the Episode Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner Includes the “Five Whys” exercise discussed in the episode for identifying the beliefs and pain beneath intense emotional reactions. Learn more at Human Intimacy. Emotional Flooding—The Gottman Institute Learn how elevated physiological arousal interferes with listening, reasoning, and productive communication: Understanding Emotional Flooding. The Resiliency Advantage by Al Siebert, PhD Explores resilience as the ability to experience adversity while learning how to respond, adapt, and move forward: The Resiliency Advantage. Additional Support Trauma Inventory for Betrayed Partners A free assessment developed by Dr. Kevin Skinner to help betrayed partners identify and better understand their trauma symptoms: Complete the TIBP. 100 Days to Healing After Sexual Betrayal A structured program offering education and practical support for recovery following betrayal: Explore the program. IRM Couples Intensives An immersive experience for committed couples who need personalized support as they work to restore safety, strengthen communication, and move forward after betrayal: Learn about upcoming IRM Couples Intensives. Invitation If betrayal has left you and your partner feeling overwhelmed or stuck in painful patterns, an Intimacy Repair Method Couples Intensive may help you understand what is happening and develop a clearer path forward. These intensives provide focused guidance, personalized couples sessions, and practical tools for rebuilding emotional safety and connection. Learn more about upcoming IRM Couples Intensives.

See All (137)

Ratings & Reviews

4.6
out of 5
18 Ratings

About

Intimacy is a fundamental human experience that goes far beyond romantic relationships. Join us as we dive into the deep and multifaceted layers of human connection, exploring everything from friendship and family bonds to self-love and vulnerability. Through thought-provoking conversations with experts, personal stories, and practical advice, we’ll uncover the secrets to nurturing meaningful relationships in a fast-paced digital world. From exploring trust and fostering emotional intimacy to navigating conflicts and rediscovering oneself, we’re here to discover the essence of what it means to truly connect with others and ourselves. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, gain insights into human behaviors, or simply crave a meaningful conversation that enriches your understanding of human connection, you won’t want to miss a single episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast.

Information

  • Creator
    Humanintimacy
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    137
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Human Intimacy Podcast

You Might Also Like