The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

I am the emotionally underdeveloped partner in my marriage. My partner is trying to explain the attachment styles to me, but I don’t know why him teaching it makes it so much harder to hear and take to heart. I’m new to your podcast, but I’ve watched several of your reels on social media. I’m thankful you guys are here, and hope that by listening to y’all I will grow into the emotionally mature wife I need to be.

When it comes to reviews, I'm generally of the mindset that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” but I felt it would be irresponsible not to speak out. I wanted to give The Love Doc a chance because I’ve been thinking a lot about love, attraction, and connection recently, and I was curious to hear a real discussion between two women on these topics. I figured that since one was a social psychologist, there would certainly be some science involved. I was wrong. What I heard in the two episodes I selected was a narrow, prescriptive worldview masquerading as expertise. They don’t describe psychology; they describe their personal preferences. In one episode, they discussed dating in the modern world, referring to a man’s need to ask a woman on a “proper date within three days,” touting “strong masculine energy,” calling wounded masculine energy “cowardice,” and even peppering their remarks with a few “blehs” when mentioning men who didn’t have definite plans when asking them out and had the gall to ask them what they might like to do. I was appalled to hear someone with a background in psychology speak this way. This is not science; it is not research; it is not evidence-based; it is not grounded in social psychology; it’s their personal dating preferences, repackaged as universal truths. This is not to say that a psychologist can’t have personal preferences, but when those preferences are presented as the standard for healthy masculinity, they’re stepping out of their lane. The language they use—“cowardice,” “lack of masculine energy,” “wounded masculine energy,” and, let’s not forget, “bleh”—is not therapeutic; it is shaming. Shame is the opposite of what helps people build confidence. By treating the subject this way, they reduce something complex and nuanced to something they evidently view as simple as ‘just be confident.’ In doing so, they ignore the very real social forces that make confidence difficult—the expectations women put on men, including pressures about appearance, finances, leadership, emotional stoicism, and “initiating everything.” I had hoped to hear real psychology, but instead I heard the same old tired pop-psych dating rhetoric. All I can say is that I am very grateful for my beautiful, loving wife of 36 years, who didn’t treat me like a gender-role audition when we met but initiated with me and responded to me as an individual with whom she quickly formed a real connection. I truly hope that the conversations in The Love Doc have taken a turn towards being more supportive and positive since the episodes I listened to. It would be great to see a focus on more constructive dialogue.

This is mostly an infomercial with just a touch of actual content.

Love the insight, so refreshing!! Thank yall so much!!