Midlife Unfiltered: The Season Of Me

Midlife Unfiltered
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  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Take back your power and choose yourself in midlife. Exploring often taboo topics and busting outdated stereotypes with your hosts, Anita & Erica. midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

  1. I Say "Should" A Lot. Why Is That? And What Might Help.

    3d ago

    I Say "Should" A Lot. Why Is That? And What Might Help.

    Shouldland. You know it well. We know you do because we feel it too — that all too familiar place where we should do this, should do that. Feel as if we should because […]. You fill in the blank. Erica and I don’t know any midlife women who have not felt the weight of ‘shoulds’. In midlife especially, they feel overwhelming and heavy, as if we’re surrounded by them, with demands lobbing in from every direction. Performance and Expectations. Self-imposed? Are they true, are they real? Have you ever stopped to ask why? Our Bodies Are Keeping Notes Our somatic signals are real. Our body takes in the effects of acting on so many shoulds, and eventually it starts signalling, subtly at first. The clenching jaw. Tense shoulders. Tight hands. But our body is persistent, always looking out for us. Eventually those signals become so loud, so disruptive, we have little if any choice but to listen and change. So why do we feel the need to push through when our body is signalling otherwise? Lived Experience I talk about the recent experience of a dear friend who has hit burnout and what she’s done to restore her sense of self, to find herself again. Her brave actions. Not all change needs to be this extreme, but it is important to recognise that small acts of kindness to ourselves can be a priority. And worth asking: what are the consequences if I don’t? The Language of Shoulds If we drop the language of ‘should’, what else becomes available? Noticing when we say it and how many times a day is a powerful start. If we stopped using that word, what alternatives take its place? Does it change the way we feel, react and respond? The words that stand in its place: I want to. I desire to. I feel like I have to. Do I want the outcome? I don’t want to do this. What feels more true? There’s something empowering that happens when ‘want’ replaces ‘should’. The Drivers of Shoulds The guilt. The shame. The (perceived) judgement. The learned behaviour. Societal expectations. We call the familiar ones out, based on conversations Erica has with her clinic clients. And the influence of control — because when we are ‘shoulding’, we are seeking to control something. Not that we’d put it on others (typically), but we put it on ourselves. Putting the brakes on automatic should-pilot is significant. Change always starts with awareness — pausing to check in when something’s not working or feeling the way we thought it would. What Might Help An exercise from Brené Brown’s I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) asks us to articulate how we would and wouldn’t like to be perceived. Our unwanted identities. Working through that highlights what we’re trying to control. For example: I don’t want to be perceived as lazy — so I’ll ‘should’ upon myself any time there’s a risk of looking that way. I’m controlling for that identity. Because a good woman isn’t just sitting around doing nothing, is she? Aligning with our values is, yet again, invaluable here. They’re the guideposts that help us identify which shoulds we can release and let go of. What deserves our attention and when. The Postmenopausal Gift of Less Shoulding Giving less f*cks is real. I speak from lived experience — comparing my early-40s self (where Erica is now) to my almost-60-year-old self. Something to look forward to. Stay Curious Stay curious about when you should, and what you’re shoulding about. And please — stay playful with it. This isn’t something else to feel like you should think and act on perfectly (whatever that is). Could you banish ‘should’ from your vocabulary entirely? Resources * Find Erica at ericawebb.com.au * 📚 I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) — Brené Brown Thank you to everyone who tuned into our live video and for listening here! If you found it helpful — or think a friend might — please share it on. 🩶 Join us for our next live video next week. We’ll be talking about a common autoimmune condition - Hashimoto's disease. With Jo sharing her lived experience. See you then. Anita xx This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    35 min
  2. Leaking, Prolapse, Painful Sex. Let's Talk About Your Pelvic Floor with Pelvic Physiotherapist, Michelle Murphy.

    May 20

    Leaking, Prolapse, Painful Sex. Let's Talk About Your Pelvic Floor with Pelvic Physiotherapist, Michelle Murphy.

    These problems are far more common than most of us realise and far less talked about than they should be. There’s a group of muscles working hard for us every single day that most of us never give a second thought to, until something goes wrong. Problems more common than you might think. Almost 4 in 10 women and 2 in 10 men experience urinary incontinence - with 7 in 10 of those people under 65. Around 1 in 30 experience bowel incontinence (Continence Health Australia). Common? Yes. But they are not an inevitable part of aging. Our Pelvic Floor. A rather complex group of muscles, together with fascia, ligaments, connective tissue, nerves and blood vessels. It literally holds up our bladder, bowel and for us women, our uterus, along with all their entry and exit points. The number of times a day those organs are called upon, all supported by this one hardworking structure we rarely think about, just because it’s down there. We don’t like talking about down there much do we? Hmm. Not today! That’s what Michelle Murphy, a pelvic physiotherapist with over 20 years of clinical experience, joins me to talk about our pelvic health - our Pelvic Floor in this very insightful and eye opening podcast chat. Michelle’s passion for helping us understand and treat pelvic floor problems absolutely shines through. A refreshing no shame approach to a topic we really should be talking about a lot more. And so, we are. What We Talk About In This Episode Pelvic Floor 101 - Anatomy and Function What even IS the Pelvic Floor? The parts that make up the Pelvic Floor, where they sit and what they do for us - literally the heavy lifting it does for us every day. Michelle also shows us with her clinical 3D model to illustrate, the complexity of this underappreciated, hard working part of our anatomy. Common Pelvic Floor Problems & How To Know That You Have Them The symptoms you might be experiencing that indicate that you might have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PDF). Problems that involve: * Bladder - leakage, frequency, urgency * Bowel - leakage, constipation, urgency + the Poo Chart (Bristol Stool Chart) * Sex - pain with intercourse, * Prolapse - what it is, why it happens, how it can feel and how common it is. The Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM) - what it is, causes and symptoms. The influence it has on the Pelvic Floor. Not all problems need to be painful. But that they may hurt us in other, very real ways. The Emotional Load of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (PFD) The embarrassment, shame and self-blame that so often comes with these problems - and why we need to leave them behind. What Can Help Your Pelvic Floor Problems may be common but that does not mean they are normal. Nor does it mean that nothing can be done to help. This is Michelle’s bread and butter as a specialist Pelvic Floor physio. * Pelvic Floor Exercises - the first line of defense because yes, they absolutely work. * The right exercises, done the right way, ‘dosed’ correctly and done consistently. * To Kegel or not to Kegel? Michelle clears up the confusion. * Knowing Your Baseline - the status of your Pelvic Floor muscles and how a Pelvic Floor Physio can assess this with you. * The Exercise Trap - The Overactive Pelvic Floor - it’s important to strengthen but it’s equally important to know how to relax these muscles. Athletes and women who have suffered with pelvic pain may be unknowingly holding tension there, which causes problems. * Vaginal Devices - The Pessary - Michelle shows us a pessary, a device she helps women to fit and remove that gives them great prolapse support. Helpful if they are not eligible or qualify for surgery. What to do now to protect and preserve our Pelvic Floor health - For Future Me We wind the clock forward and talk openly about what can happen as we age - both women and men. The convergence of needing to pee (or poo) often in the night + heightened risk of UTI’s (urinary tract infections) + poor bone health + falling and fracturing bones + dementia. An all too common story. The Importance of Preserving Your Baseline because if it drops, it’s much harder to get it back. And keeping it takes work! Worth it? Absolutely. For Future Me. Where To From Here? Michelle recommends doing the Australian Pelvic Floor Questionnaire. A series of super easy to answer questions to help determine where your baseline might be at. You’ll find a PDF link to it in the Resources section below. Final Thoughts Your Pelvic Floor does a lot of heavy lifting for you, every, single, day. Functions and support we take for granted, until it’s gone. It’s inevitable that as we age, that our Pelvic Floor will weaken. But we can do much to improve, protect and preserve it. It may be common, but it’s not normal. And you don’t have to just put up with it. For now and for Future You. About Michelle Murphy Michelle Murphy is an Australian pelvic health physiotherapist, educator, owner of Mercy Physiotherapy and founder of Impact HQ. With 20+ years’ experience, she empowers women through evidence-based education on pelvic health and menopause. Her mission: to bring awareness and understanding of Pelvic Floor health because it’s not spoken of nearly enough, it’s under-diagnosed and under-treated. It extends well beyond her clinic walls. That’s why this podcast chat :) Michelle is a newby on Substack so reach out and welcome her in. If you’ve listened to our chat, talk about that! Find Michelle on Substack here. Thank you Michelle. Your passion, enthusiasm, knowledge, experience and dedication to our Pelvic Health is very much appreciated. Resources: The Australian Pelvic Floor Questionnaire - start here to understand your baseline. The Anatomy of the Pelvic Floor - Continence Health Australia 3D anatomical model videos (both female and male). Genioturinary Syndrome of Menopause (GSM ) explained - an article from the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners - Australian Family Physician journal. The Vaginal Pessary - the vaginal device Michelle shows and talks about in this episode. Bristol Stool Chart - to understand if your poo is normal (ideal) and how to recognise if it’s not. Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. I do apologise if the video is grainy at times. It seems choosing High Res is not always optimal. The audio is clear. If you found this episode helpful and think that others might get something out of it, please share it on. To your Pelvic Health. Anita xx This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    46 min
  3. Navigating a Fast Paced Digital Future Including AI with Kiki Hart, our human advocate.

    May 13

    Navigating a Fast Paced Digital Future Including AI with Kiki Hart, our human advocate.

    Personas are nothing new. But they’re not found in abundance in the ‘real world’ either - the offline world we Baby Boomers and Gen X’ers are familiar with. Ask a Gen Z or Alpha and they'll likely just stare blankly. Not because they don't know what you mean, but because for them, it's just...normal Because for them, in their predominantly online world, they are mainstream. Meet Kiki Hart Kiki is a digital persona created by Louise Cooper — born from the digital world, but sharing Louise’s perspective. At around 40 years of age, she’s your guide to navigating technology without losing yourself in it. She observes and informs, so you can decide what to do with it. Exploring how culture, technology and modern life are reshaping identity, attention and relevance. In This Podcast Chat We Talk About How To Think Of Kiki. Regard her as a dedicated resource to lean on, to understand how changes in tech, in the digital age, may influence who we are, how we feel and behave. To inform not instruct. As she explores important topics like: · Wearable tech – Intuition in the age of wearable digital tech · Aged Care (including AI grief bots - yes, that’s a thing) and · Inter-generational Relationships – how connection, relationships and love changes in a digital world Just to name a few. Our Midlife Advantage – we have a foot in both the offline and online worlds and with that, a role to play in bringing the offline human conversations and stories to the increasingly pervasive online space. Our lived experience that brings with it critical thinking, pattern recognition, people skills – skills that are genuinely valuable now and arguably more so, in the future. Being the Custodians of Connection – the real risk of losing meaningful connection with the younger generations because of the digital divide. They are digital natives (Gen Z and Alpha), as Midlifers we are not. A Bit About AI - Artificial Intelligence What it is and how to explore the AI space. We talk about some popular AI options to use and how they each differ. * ChatGPT — Day-to-day tasks and conversation * Gemini — Google’s AI – also good for everyday use drawing on Google’s ecosystem of familiar products * Claude — Especially good for writing and factual summarising * Meta AI — Good for generating images and social media style queries * Perplexity — Great for research; shows its sources clearly so you can cross-check Tip: Each AI has a different “personality” and is optimised for different jobs. Try a few and see which one feels right for you. Smart Tips for Using AI 1. Check who owns it .Understand the company behind the AI and their data policies before you share anything personal. 2. Always fact-check. AI can “hallucinate”. It sometimes confidently gives wrong answers. Ask the same question in different ways to verify. 3. Be mindful of bias. AI learns from your patterns and feeds you more of what you already agree with. Stay curious and actively seek out different perspectives. Ask it for them. 4. Match the tool to the task. Think about what you’re trying to do first - searching for information, creating content, seeking advice - then choose accordingly. We are living through the greatest and fastest period of change in human history. Rather than being overwhelmed or left behind, we can choose to engage - and as Midlifers, we have unique wisdom and skill set to bring. AI needs more data about women to reduce its built-in gender bias. Our voices matter. Let’s be part of shaping this. Anita xx Follow Kiki Hart on Substack and join the conversation. Thank you for being here and for tuning in. See you next week for another podcast chat. If you think someone you know might find this conversation interesting, please share it with them. That would be awesome. Thank you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    47 min
  4. What I Wish Every Woman at 50 Knew About Her Bones.

    May 7

    What I Wish Every Woman at 50 Knew About Her Bones.

    Did you know that up to 62% of women between 50 and 69 in Australia have poor bone health — and most have no idea? Bone loss doesn’t start in your 70s. It starts around our late 20’s and accelerates during the menopause transition, quietly and without symptoms, long before the health system thinks to check. In this Midlife Unfiltered podcast episode, Anita draws on her own lived experience — a retired radiographer with an Osteoporosis diagnosis at 51, and a journey to reverse it without medication — to bust 8 of the most common myths about bone health and give you the knowledge to take action for yourself, right now. Why This Matters. The numbers are hard to ignore. They are Australian numbers but if you’re in a predominantly English speaking country they are likely to be similar for you too: * 62% of Australian women aged 50–69 have poor bone health (osteopenic or osteoporotic) * 10–20% of bone mass is lost during the menopause transition alone (in that 5–10 year period peri and post menopause) * 70% of women over 79 are osteoporotic * $3.5 billion — the annual cost to Australia’s health system for fracture care And yet in Australia, a subsidised bone scan isn’t available until age 70, unless you have a pre-existing risk factor. That’s a 20+ year gap where lifestyle intervention could make a real difference. That’s a 20 year gap you need to advocate for yourself and fill.— but most women don’t even know their bone health status. 8 Myths & Misconceptions — Busted. In this podcast chat Anita talks about 8 Myths and Misconceptions about bone health. To widen your awareness and arm you with conversation kickers to take to your health care team. Myth 1: Poor bone health Is an old woman’s disease. Bone decline starts around our late 20’s and for women, accelerates during our menopause transition. With about 62% of women having poor bone health (13% osteoporosis and 49% with osteopenia) between 50–69, poor bone health is not just what you get in old age. Don’t wait to find out your bone health status. Ask your doctor for a referral for a DEXA scan costs around $120 AUD . You don’t need a referral for a REMS scan. Reports are explained to you on the spot and are sent to your health team. They cost about $200 AUD. Your health fund may cover most of it. Myth 2: Improving Bone health is a quick fix. Bone is slow-changing tissue. Gains take months to years; loss can happen much faster, especially around menopause. Bone health is a long game no matter what your treatment options — the sooner you start, the better. And don’t give up on them! Myth 3: Medication is my only treatment option. Not at all. The LIFTMOR trials (Dr Belinda Beck, Australia) showed targeted strength training can not only slow bone decline — it can reverse it, sometimes better than medication. Plus it builds muscle and improves balance. HRT is also proven to support bone health in women, independent of menopausal symptoms. There’s a link to the LIFTMOR trial in the Resources section below. Note: walking, running, cycling and swimming won’t build bone. You need impact and loading — jumping, stomping, and targeted strength training. Myth 4: Calcium is all my bones need. Calcium matters absolutely, but it needs support with a healthy diet that offers: * Calcium — the building block - 98% of our calcium stores are in our bones * Protein — bones are made of collagen too; essential for strength * Vitamin D — helps bones absorb calcium (low levels can actually draw calcium out of bone) * Vitamin K — helps direct calcium to your bones * Prunes — yes, really. 5 prunes a day for 12 months has been shown to slow bone loss. Prunes have potassium, boron, magnesium, polyphenols as well as Vitamin K which all support bone health. There’s a link to that study in the Resources section below. Myth 5: Bones just hold me up. Bones are living, metabolic tissue and an endocrine organ. They store and release minerals, respond to hormones and nutrition, and even produce hormones — osteocalcin and FGF23 - hormones that affect other organs and systems in your body. Mindset shift- think of them just as you would other important organs in your body. Myth 6: A DEXA scan tells me everything. DEXA scans have been around for about 30 years and have been a valuable tool in understanding bone health status. The standard DEXA scan primarily measures bone density. But because it’s a 2D snapshot of a 3D structure, it misses bone strength. REMS scans (ultrasound-based) measure both and as such give an indication of overall bone quality - density and strength. It produces a Fragility Score that reflects bone quality and fracture risk . Changes show up in 6 months with REMS vs 18 months with DEXA. No GP referral needed for REMS. Bone Turnover Markers (blood tests) can also add useful clues about how much your bones are building or breaking down. Myth 7: My T-score is all that matters. T-scores are a metric used to define bone health status - to diagnose osteoporosis. They are useful, but incomplete. What really matters is fracture risk. Ask your doctor about your FRAX score (10-year fracture probability) and consider a REMS scan to obtain a Fragility Score — these give a far more complete picture and should guide your treatment choices. Fragility Fractures are what we are talking about here. Fractures that happen as a part of living day to day - from lower impact, like tripping over the rug at home and falling over. There is a link to a FRAX tool the Resources section below. It’s country specific so find yours. ⚠️ 2/3 of hip fracture patients in Australia are women with 25% of those women likely to die within 12 months of fracturing. Men fracture less often, but their mortality rate is even higher at 33%. Share this episode with the men in your life and talk to them about getting a bone scan done too. Myth 8: Osteoporosis can’t be reversed. Turn up the volume on this. It’s perhaps the most important (and hopeful) myth of all. Osteoporosis absolutely can be reversed. Consistent, targeted strength training — supervised by a physiotherapist or exercise physiologist — works. It’s not overnight, but the research and real-world results back it up. Anita is living proof. Key Takeaways — Taking Action for Future You * Don’t wait for a fracture or until you are 70 to get a bone scan. Get a bone scan done now! DEXA (~$120) or REMS (~$200), both may be partially claimable through private health. They are worth the investment - for long term mobility and independence - living a longer life well. * Think fracture risk, not just T-score — ask about your FRAX and Fragility Scores * Strength training is non-negotiable — impact and loading is what builds bone but do it under knowledgeable and experienced supervision for safety if you are in poor bone health. * Build your health team — seek a physio or exercise physiologist who specialises in bone health and a GP who will support you to assess and scan early. * Don’t be afraid to change practitioners if you’re not getting current, comprehensive care. Anita shares her story around this, changing endocrinologists and why. * Bones are a long game — the earlier you start, the better the outcome. But it’s never too late to begin. Ever. Resources Mentioned * LIFTMOR Trials — Dr Belinda Beck’s landmark strength training research * REMS Scan Episode — Anita’s full deep-dive on why she switched from DEXA * Prune Study — 5 prunes/day for 12 months and bone health * FRAX Tool — country-specific fracture risk calculator — frax.shef.ac.uk * GP Osteoporosis Framework — for postmenopausal women & men over 50 * Dr Doug Lucas — Optimal Human Health on YouTube (holistic + science-based) * Dr Vonda Wright — YouTube & podcast, musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause * Healthy Bones Australia — Osteoporosis & Fractures in Australia: Burden of Disease Analysis 2023–2033 This episode is for information purposes only and is not medical advice. Always work with your own health team. p.s. the new Substack high res option to record this episode was used which unfortunately may have produced a bit of jumping about. I’m sorry about that. I hope it’s not too distracting. Anita xx . Thanks for reading and listening to Midlife Unfiltered on Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work. If you found this episode helpful, please share it on. Bone heath matters and the gap in awareness and care is huge. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    51 min
  5. I Am a Donor Conceived Person. This is how it's made me feel. Erica's story.

    Apr 28

    I Am a Donor Conceived Person. This is how it's made me feel. Erica's story.

    Hello. This is a very raw and open episode as Erica shares her story. It may be triggering for those of you who are donor conceived, think you might be or if someone you love is. About This Episode The stories about those who are donor conceived are often quite shocking and sensationalised because…well…they make for a ‘good story’. But behind those stories are real people. People, more often than not, struggling with what it means to be donor conceived. This is Erica’s story. Told very openly from the heart, with genuine care and thoughtful insights. Erica’s Story They Looked So Different Growing up, Erica and her sister had often asked their parents about their origin story because they looked so very different. The same answer was always given, shutting down the conversation, implying ‘nothing to see here.’ An answer that understandably for them, never fully satisfied. The Gift That Changed Their Lives Forever As a Mother’s Day gift to herself and to Erica, her sister gifted them both a DNA test. Comparing results it was very obvious that biologically Erica and her sister were very different. Her sister with a considerable amount of Indian origin (50% from one parent) whilst Erica’s was French Canadian and Irish. So the girl’s asked the question again. Finally the Dad who raised them confirmed they were both donor conceived and by different Donor Dads. Unexpected. Profoundly life altering. Disruption. Betrayal. Deception. Grief. Confusion. Trauma. Those are the words that are spoken of in this very honest and open conversation. What We Talk About In This Conversation: Shaken Identity: “I know so little about who I am”. How much of who Erica believed herself to be was wrapped up in where she came from. Loss and Grief: For the relationships she never got to have, might never have. A biological Father she may never meet. Half siblings out there somewhere - and who knows how many of those there are! A Deeply Destructive Disruption: Not told the truth, feels like she’s been living a lifetime of lies. A betrayal that cuts so very deeply. What is the truth? Can she, will she ever find that? So many questions left answered because the records, the information simply isn’t there. The trajectory of what was often regarded as a transaction not thought through beyond to the needs of the children born from it. Lack of Records and Identification of Donors & Births: Donor conception is not as uncommon as you might think. Globally there are millions. Ultimately though, the number is a wild guess. It’s a wild guess simply because records of who has donated, who has conceived and birth records are patchy at best. To add further complication to an already deeply complicated situation, each state, each country has its own record requirements, if they exist at all. When Erica was conceived in the 80’s in Cananda, there were none. As a result, access to personal information for donor conceived people is scarce. Even if you want to find out, it's often impossible. Erica talks about the level of information she’s been able to find out and how she’s gone about finding that. It’s not been easy. “I Have That Man’s Face: And I’ve never seen my face in my family members.” Another layer of identity theft and trauma. Through photo searching (and other means) Erica has found her donor Dad. There is a striking resemblance. Imagine at family gatherings never seeing your face, yourself in others? How do you reconcile that? We go there in this conversation. The Rights Of The Child: Information in the donor conceived world is scarce. The laws protecting and affirming the right of the children who are donor conceived equally scarce. In the past, the rights were firmly protecting the anonymity and privacy of the donor and the recipient. In many countries they still are. But where does that leave those the children of donor conception? Those wanting to find out their origin story not just for themselves but for their children too? Yet another layer of complexity. We go there too. Medical Implications of Not Knowing Her Biological Father: “I know more about my dog than I do myself.” We want to be proactive about our health. That’s why this podcast exists. To encourage self-advocacy particularly around health and wellbeing. Being a late discovery donor conceived person severely impairs what Erica knows about her own health and her children's inherited conditions We talk about how recording keeping for animals has been better documented than for donor conceived children. WTAF! The Question She’d Ask Her Donor Dad Given The Chance: There is one that sits top of mind for Erica. Is it really too much to ask? Where To From Here If you suspect you are donor conceived or know that you are and are not sure where to begin, we see you and are here for you. This is hard. It’s a lot. It can be all consuming. Consider counselling or conversations with an understanding therapist, mindful that not every therapist understands this space, its complexity and challenges. Teaming up with someone who is not familiar might have you spending much of your time educating them. Just sayin’ :) Erica is a certified counsellor here in Melbourne Australia. With her lived experience she is happy to help. Perhaps start by dropping us an email at ‘hello@midlifeunfiltered.com.au’ or send us a Direct Message her in Substack.. If you’re on the search for siblings or any information about your origin story then below in the Resources section we have listed a few places for you to explore. If you are supporting someone on this journey, there are options there for you too. Final Thoughts Erica ends our conversation with thoughtful advice for those of us not walking in the shoes of those who are donor conceived. Compassionate wisdom. What not to say that may be well meaning but may equally well, add to the difficulties of this complex and deeply troubling journey. Resources: * Erica has a considerable list of resources on her website here. Books, podcasts and links to support and groups for donor conceived people. Links she has found helpful on this journey too. https://www.ericawebb.com.au/dcp-counselling * Donor Conceived Australia - https://dca-au-v2.squarespace.com/ * Erica & her sister share their story here on The Inconceivably Connected podcast - Episode 36: A Different Kind Of Father’s Day. Thank you for tuning in! If you think this conversation might be helpful for someone in your life, please share it on. See you next week! Anita & Erica. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    37 min
  6. Nutrient Bioavailability: Why It Matters In Midlife & As We Age with Dietician Maryann Jacobsen.

    Apr 22

    Nutrient Bioavailability: Why It Matters In Midlife & As We Age with Dietician Maryann Jacobsen.

    Eating healthy food doesn't automatically mean your body is absorbing it. I was munching raw spinach for years thinking I was doing my then osteoporotic bones a favour — but only a fraction of that calcium was actually getting in. This episode is about understanding why, and what to do about it. We're diving into Bioavailability. In This Episode of the Midlife Unfiltered Podcast We Talk About * What bioavailability actually means — and why it matters more as we age * The spinach surprise — oxalates, raw vs cooked, and why only 5–10% of spinach’s calcium is absorbed * What influences how well you absorb nutrients — food form, preparation, gut health & smart pairing * The Triage Theory — how your body rations nutrients when stores are low (and why Future You could lose out) * What changes in midlife — declining oestrogen, stomach acid shifts, and microbiome changes * Key nutrients to watch — Vitamin D, Iron, B12 and a few others * How to know if you’re getting enough — the clues to look for in blood tests and biomarkers. So… What Is Bioavailability? Simply put, bioavailability is how much of what you eat, drink, or supplement your body can actually absorb and use. Not just what you consume — what actually makes it into your cells and does something useful. Three things influence it most: * The form your food takes — the source (plant vs animal), and how it’s prepared * Your gut environment — especially stomach acid levels, which change with age * What you pair it with — some nutrients supercharge each other (think Vitamin D + Calcium), while others block each other (oxalates in spinach binding to calcium) The Triage Theory Proposed by scientist Bruce Ames, this is a theory that really hits. When your body is running low on micronutrients, it doesn’t share them equally — it prioritises survival today over your health in 20 years - for Future You. Why We Midlife Women Need to Pay Closer Attention Your 40s and 50s bring real shifts that affect how efficiently your body processes nutrients — even if your diet hasn’t changed. Hormones: As oestrogen declines, so does your body’s ability to convert and absorb key nutrients. Calcium is a good and important example. Lower oestrogen means less conversion and absorption + falling bone density = a double whammy in midlife and beyond. Stomach Acid: About 30% of postmenopausal women have sub-optimal stomach acid. You need that acidic environment to convert nutrients. Less acid = less conversion. Microbiome Shifts: The diversity of your gut bacteria tends to decline with age — and that affects how efficiently you absorb what you eat. The B12 Example - B12 relies on stomach acid to convert properly. With lower acid and fewer animal-based sources in many diets, B12 is one to actively watch. Nutrients Worth Paying Attention To The BIG 3 Vitamin B12: essential for energy, bone, heart and brain health B12 is converted by stomach acids. From there our small intestine absorbs it. So if acid performance is lacking, so too will be our body’s ability to convert and use it. That coupled with the fact that B12 is harder to get in food sources any way it’s one to watch as we age. Iron: Very broadly, about 20% of postmenopausal women are iron deficient — even without monthly blood loss. Maryann shares her own experience with iron deficiency causing anxiety and palpitations. Ask your doctor to test not just serum iron, but also ferritin (stored iron) and transferrin saturation (how well it’s transported). Vitamin. D: is synthesised in our body by sunlight. Food sources that contain it are not so common with fatty fish (D3) leading the charge with high bioavailability. Mushrooms (UV exposed) for plant sources have a relatively good amount of D2 and slightly less bioavailablity than fatty fish. Others to have on your radar K2: Directs calcium to where it needs to go — bones and heart. Found in fermented foods. No official RDI has been set yet, but worth knowing about. Iodine: Found in dairy, seaweed, seafood and iodised salt. Important for thyroid health. Check your country’s RDI (~150 μg/day is common). Magnesium: Easy to fall short on, even though it’s found in seeds, nuts, legumes, and leafy greens. Around 320 mg/day is often recommended — but check what applies to your country. 💡 Quick Tip Use the IOF Calcium Calculator (International Osteoporosis Foundation) to understand your calcium sources and how much you’re actually getting. It doesn’t specifically state bioavailability for each source but it does lean into it generally speaking. And Maryann’s advice? Variety is the go — focus on a wide range of sources to help meet your targets. Where To From Here - Actions To Consider * Educate yourself on important micronutrients, their sources and bioavailability. eg: Spinach (and other oxalate-rich greens) to improve calcium absorption cook it — or swap in higher-bioavailability options like dairy or Chinese mustard greens (yep, they’re right up their in bioavailablity per serve). * Pair smartly — don’t just think about the micronutrients in isloation. Many are better absorbed when paired with others. eg: Vitamin D alongside calcium to significantly boost how much you absorb. Small habit, real difference. * Get blood work done — specifically test Vitamin D, B12, Iron (serum iron, ferritin, and transferrin saturation). * Diversify your diet — A variety of sources covers more bioavailability gaps. * Stay curious about RDIs — many haven’t been updated in 20 years, and they vary by country. Check what applies to you and watch for updates. Please Note: Everything in this episode is information to help you ask better questions — not medical advice tailored to you. We are all different in how our body converts and absorbs nutrients. Please speak with your GP or a registered dietitian to understand what’s right for your specific situation. Resources From This Episode 🎙️ Maryann Jacobsen — Certified Dietitian, founder of Midlife Strong on Substack. Subscribe to get her free Biomarker Guide: “The Essential Blood Tests Women Over 40 Need To Track and Optimise Their Health.” 📖 Maryann’s upcoming book — diving deeper into bioavailability and midlife nutrition. Watch this space! 🔗 IOF Calcium Calculator — International Osteoporosis Foundation — understand your calcium sources and calculate your daily intake. Thank you for tuning in! We hope you picked up a few gems in our conversation. And if you did, share it on! Don’t forget to check out Maryann’s Midlife Strong AND stay tuned for when her book comes out next year. It dives deeper into this very topic. Yes! See you next week! Anita xx This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    54 min
  7. Hormone Disruptors: Sneaky Everyday Chemicals Quietly Messing With Your Health. How to find them so you can Switch them out.

    Apr 14

    Hormone Disruptors: Sneaky Everyday Chemicals Quietly Messing With Your Health. How to find them so you can Switch them out.

    In this chat with Andrea Dahr from Switch Natural we talk about common harmful chemicals that are in soooo many products we use on our skin, cook with, eat and drink in. So sneaky that we are not aware that they’re there, that we’re taking them in. Every. Single. Day. Andrea’s mission is simple. Share information that’s grounded in studies about these toxic chemicals so that you can make an informed choice about what you choose to use. No bias. 100% independent. Why does that matter? Because these every day products are not regulated (unless they are for therapeutic use). The onus is on the companies that make them to disclose if they are using harmful chemicals like known Endocrine Disruptors in their ingredients list. The descriptions used to market them are not standardised either. Something can be called Natural or Clean but that’s open to interpretation with so much latitude in the meaning. It’s confusing. Where is the truth? What ARE we buying? What harm is it doing? Endocrine Disruptors (or EDC’s) are man made chemicals (of which there are 1000’s) used in manufacturing, that mess with our hormones. They do this by pretending to be and act like hormones, block the function of them or influence the amount of them in our body. And they’re everywhere. These sneaky chemicals have made their way into countless products we use every day. Personal care products (like skin and hair care and deodorants), sunscreens (that’s a big one) cookware (non-stick linings like Teflon), plastics, water and food. And because we use them every day, the toxic load compounds over time. The Culprits & Where They Hide: We talk about the more prominent and pervasive nasty ingredients and the every day products they’re found in (to name but a few because there are many). * Phthalates - commonly found in fragrances, some cosmetics & nail polish * Bisphenols (BPA, BPS, BPF) - some “BPA‑free” plastics, certain cosmetics, and some flexible plastics like water bottles * PFAS’s (‘forever chemicals’) - Non‑stick cookware (like Teflon), stain‑ and water‑repellent clothing, waterproof makeup, and some water sources. Honest, practical insights backed up by information from studies and research Andrea has captured over 10+ years and updates daily as required. The Proof and Research: More and more research is being released about these chemicals and their health implications. The work of Dr Shanna Swan is respected, prominent and ground breaking having spent more than two decades studying the impact of environmental chemicals and pharmaceuticals on reproductive and neuro development. She’s linked significant drops in sperm counts and fertility to some of these chemicals. Fertility has dropped more than 50% over the past 50 years worldwide. Geez! Links to her and her work are below. Adrea also has a free Resource Library on her website, Switch Natural. There are handy and informative free PDF’s to download. Handy to have because this topic is HUGE and confusing. They’re great resources to come back to again and again. The Switch Natural App: Because her community were asking so many questions and wanted a way to choose products as they shopped, Andrea decided to create an app so they could make better purchasing decisions. Unlike others that grade the products (sometimes with outdated databases), hers is completely information based and up to date. Here’s how it works: * You download the app (it costs $20USD a year - cheaper than a week of takeaway coffees here in Australia!). * Scan the product ingredients list by taking a photo of it. * A list of known harmful chemicals (if any) appear. * Search for more information about those ingredients on the spot too (using the magnifying glass icon). * Research links about the ingredients. * Alternative products. * Shared findings. It’s designed to grow interactively too. You can ‘add to shop’ products that are not in the app’s database and Andrea then personally reviews them before deciding if they’re to be shared on the app - as a validity check. Most products are available in the USA (but many will ship internationally) so if you’re outside the US feel free to submit yours so that more products available in your country are listed. I will be adding Australian products for sure having started with my No Pong anti odorant (and no, I’m not getting a kick back mentioning it). We Bust Common Myths: Here are some. * Non-toxic products are more expensive - No! As with toxic products there are expensive ones and less expensive ones. Shop around and find them. They’re there. * Product descriptions use legally defined/standardised words eg: Clean or Natural means no harmful chemicals - No. There are no laws that define what it means to be Clean or Natural. It’s a discretionary wording that is basically marketing hype. * All personal care and beauty products are vetted by the TGA / FDA to ensure they do what they claim to be eg: free of harmful chemicals - No. Unless they are regarded as Therapeutic, they are not, so it’s a case of ‘buyer beware’. * Fragrances are safe - No! This is a significant loop hole in ingredient listing department. Synthetic fragrances can hide many chemicals (including phthalates and other EDC’s) under the single label “fragrance” or “parfum”, unless a country has specific “fragrance disclosure” laws. This is because they are regarded as ‘secret formulas’ and as such must remain that way. Some brands will openly list their fragrance ingredients (thankfully). * Sea life and coral reef safe means human safe - no, not always. Some sunscreen products swap the worse reef filters for other chemical UV filters which may still cause problems in humans. If you’re reducing EDC’s for yourself while still protecting reefs, look for a Zinc Oxide mineral‑only, non‑nano, paraben‑free, and fragrance‑free’ formula rather than just a product that’s ‘coral‑safe’ . * Product ingredients stay the same over the years so I’m safe to keep on buying them once I’ve checked them once - no. Product ingredients can change. To be on the safe side always scan (check) the ingredients list for nasties. Using the Switch Natural app makes this very easy. Where to from here? If you are curious about reducing your exposure to hormone disrupting chemicals it pays to look. Read the product ingredients list and find out if they are safe. Andrea’s Switch Natural App is a handy and easy way to do this as an option. Which ever way you choose, just make a start and pick one or two products you use every day. Then decide if you want to switch them out for a non-toxic option. The choice is all yours. Where To Find Andrea and her World at Switch Natural: : Switch Natural Website (SwitchNatural.com) - where there is a free Resource Library. Make a start and download her 50 Clean Swaps Guide. : The Switch Natural App - the first month is free then it’s $20USD a year. : Substack Andrea Dahr (Switch Natural). : Instagram and Facebook look for Switch Natural. The extensive, groundbreaking research of Dr Shanna Swan can be found on her website . There is a Press section that lists some of her papers and the Appearances section is where you can hear and see her in action talking about her research findings on podcasts and YouTube. Documentary: ‘The Plastic Detox’. on Netflix. Thanks for reading Midlife Unfiltered Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Thank you for tuning in! See you next week for our next women’s midlife focused episode. Anita xx This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    51 min
  8. Hair Thinning in Midlife. All Is Not Lost! With Jane Davies, Expert Trichologist.

    Mar 31

    Hair Thinning in Midlife. All Is Not Lost! With Jane Davies, Expert Trichologist.

    This is one of the most fascinating and eye opening conversations I’ve had on the podcast. Because let’s be honest. It’s not a topic we openly talk about, not even with our besties. Jane is one of Australia’s leading Trichologists who looks at scalps and hair all day long. What she doesn’t know about our thinning hair quite frankly, is not worth knowing. In this brilliant chat Jane and I talk about not only the physical aspects of hair loss - how it happens and why but the psychological and emotional impacts it has too. We Explore: » What even is a Trichologist? What is their role in hair and scalp care? Why we should consider having them as part of our health team. {Side Note: for the word nerds among us, the word “trichologist” comes from the Greek “thríx” (or “trichos”), meaning “hair”}. » What Jane sees in Clinic - Jane’s helped 1000’s of women over the years and talks about the most common hair and scalp concerns and conditions she sees. » What a visit to a Trichologist might involve. It’s not your 15 minute in and out. Jane takes us through what a consult with her looks like. Where she takes time and asks a lot of questions to understand: * when you were last happy with your hair * what’s been happening since * medical history * lifestyle * blood test results - Jane will ask for these to be done prior to or part of the consultation process to assess Vitamin D levels (super important (85-90% of her patients have insufficient Vit D for optimal scalp and hair health), iron, fasting insulin, folate, zinc, liver and thyroid status at a minimum * follicle health - magnified under a microscope » The 3 different hair and scalp health team members and the roles they play. Hair dressers (in the front line, picking up changes first). Trichologists focus on hair and scalp concerns. Dermatologists are medical doctors with a broader scope (skin, hair, nails) who consult on complex conditions, prescribe medications and perform procedures. Trichologists and Dermatologists often work side-by-side. Hair Thinning: Is not the same as hair loss. Problems and concerns don’t just pop up overnight, they take years to build before they emerge in our scalp and hair. Because the scalp is part of the body! Our body doesn’t prioritise hair, meaning, if there is an underlying health issue, the body will prioritise directing assistance to other areas where it’s needed more. That’s why hair thinning shows up many years later. Mindset Shift: Don’t just think hair. Think scalp too. About Our Hair: » Hair Physiology 101 - we spoke about our hair follicles and the hair growing cycle; long hair, strong hair, dense hair. Hormonal changes in midlife and how these present in our hair and scalp. Other co-existing conditions like poor nutrition because there is rarely one isolated cause. The healthier the follicle, the better the outcome for optimal hair and scalp health. » Hair Mineral Analysis - absolutely fascinating! Hair record a history of what has been going on in our body broadly, from a biochemical perspective. Rather like rings of a tree. Hair segments preserve a snapshot of hormones, metals, drugs, and stress serving as a barometer of sorts to give clues about how the body is using nutrients essential for hair growth. » Grey Hair - What it is and isn’t. (Hint…it’s not actually grey!). The common deficiencies that can cause this change earlier than expected. And why our hair chooses to do this. » Scalp Health - Our scalps age too! And scalp health is vitally important when it comes to hair thinning and hair health. Jane talks about Oxidative Stress, Inflammation and the impacts on scalp health. Treatments: » What’s in a Trichologist’s Treatment Tool Kit - for when we need help: * Getting the foundations right first - lifestyle influences that contribute to optimal hair and scalp health. Without these in place, all other treatment options will not realise maximum effect. * Topical Minoxidil (in brands such as Regaine and Rogaine) - applied onto the scalp * Laser Therapy - compliments Minoxidil (because they act differently) * PRP (platelet‑rich plasma) - injections of blood‑derived growth factors to stimulate weakened hair follicles * Exosome Treatments - loaded with growth factors and signaling molecules to stimulate hair follicles “It’s not just about making hair. It’s about consistently growing it.” To give our body what it needs to do this - getting those foundations right. Myths Busted: » Hair loss is an older woman’s problem. Jane is increasingly seeing women in their 20’s presenting in clinic. She sees a broad age spectrum of clients. » Hair loss happens overnight - nuh-uh. It’s a long game with underlying causes occurring years before we notice. Sound familiar? Bone health is the same. » Treatments are a quick fix - nope. Hair grows in cycles of about 7 years in duration. Just as the loss takes ages to notice, the repair does too. It’s a long game ladies. » Wash your hair less to preserve scalp health - the opposite it true. A clean, dry scalp is an important way to prevent the impacts of oxidative stress and other antagonists. Your follicles will love you for it. The Silent Conversations We Don’t Have: Hair thinning (and loss) is a common problem and yet, one that we talk about the least. Trichologists go there too, offering vital support along the hair re-growth journey. Not just with physical treatments, but with equally important moral support too. Because the two are inextricably linked and emotional stress is the enemy of hair regrowth and thinning. Final Word - Tips From Jane * Make sure you’re shampooing as often as you can to reduce oxidative stress on the scalp. Clean and dry. * Consider reaching out to a certified Trichologist particularly if you’re noticing your hair thinning. Do it as a preventative too - just like going to the Dentist. * Look after your metabolic health - it underpins hair and scalp health. * Know your Vitamin D number - get it up to 90-130 nmol/L. Where to find a certified Trichologist near you: There is a global network of Trichologists. Institute of Trichologists (IOT) - is a non-profit corporation founded in California in 1974 to promote the study, research and legitimate practice in all aspects of the treatment and care of the human hair and scalp in health and disease. Search its global online register of trichologists to confirm whether a practitioner is certified and upholds the IOT’s standards of training and clinical practice. Association of Professional Trichologists - has an online registry too. Where To Find Jane Davies - The Hair Physio Jane is based in Perth, Australia so you can see her in clinic there. Head to her website to book an appointment. https://www.thehairphysio.com.au Jane does online consults as well if you need a chat. She also has an active presence on Instagram where she shares information and tips. Look for The Hair Physio. Where To From Here? If you found this podcast episode helpful, please share it on. This is a conversation we absolutely need to have. To bust some myths, share the insights, get the right help and dissolve the shame associated with hair thinning and loss. Send us a message if you’d like more conversations about this topic or topics related to it. Like Scalp Health and Hair Loss. Oxidative Stress and Endocrine Disruptors. We’d love to know! Thanks Jane! Thanks everyone! See you next week. Anita xx This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

    50 min
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Take back your power and choose yourself in midlife. Exploring often taboo topics and busting outdated stereotypes with your hosts, Anita & Erica. midlifeunfiltered.substack.com

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