Avoiding My Anxiously Attached Boyfriend

AMAABF
  • 4.7 (3)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to "Avoiding My Anxiously Attached Boyfriend"! (AMAABF). A podcast that delves race, relationships and the LGBTQ+ community.Join the first visual and audio LGBTQ+ podcast hosted by a mixed heritage couple! Get to know Faris (anxiously attached), who's always seeking reassurance, and Josh (Avoidant attached), who self-sabotaged every relationship, until this one! No matter how hard he tried. This podcast came to fruition from long night chats in the garden with a cuppa, solving all of the world’s issues. Originally, starting as a podcast in our garage, to a beautiful studio in London. We want this podcast to be a place our beautiful listeners can enjoy, have a laugh and escape yaylity! So, join us and subscribe for new episodes every MONDAY! Peace, Love, and Rubber Gloves. 

  1. 4d ago

    Closeted Men, Bacha Bazi & Queer South Asians: Saad Zain

    In this episode, we’re joined by Saad Zain for an honest and at times provocative conversation about growing up gay across Pakistan, Kazakhstan, Dubai and London and what queer life can really look like in cultures where sexuality is rarely spoken about openly. Saad opens up about knowing he was gay from an early age, growing up surrounded by shame around his sexuality and why he believes there’s a huge difference between what happens behind closed doors and what people are willing to accept publicly. We get into his now infamous claim that “everyone in Pakistan is gay”, the contradictions around gay sex and masculinity across Pakistan and the Middle East and the darker reality behind practices like Bacha Bazi and dancing boys. We also explore Pakistan’s complicated relationship with gender and sexuality, including the history and visibility of the Khwaja Sara community and the impact British colonial rule had on attitudes towards gender diversity. Saad reflects on growing up gay in Kazakhstan, sneaking into gay clubs at just 13 and later navigating a London gay scene where he says being openly gay once felt like a “white privilege”. From racism and fetishisation in gay spaces to feeling pressure to assimilate, reconnecting with his Pakistani identity and questioning how inclusive queer spaces really are, Saad shares how his relationship with both his culture and sexuality has changed as he’s got older. Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    Closeted Men, Bacha Bazi & Queer South Asians: Saad Zain

  2. Aug 25

    Pretty Boys, Modelling & Coming out: Tyrell Trey

    In this episode, we’re joined by Tyrell Trey for an honest conversation about modelling, sexuality, mixed-race identity, music, dating and the long process of figuring out who you actually are when you’ve spent years becoming what other people expect from you. Tyrell opens up about entering the modelling industry at just 16, going from feeling like the “ugly” kid growing up in a predominantly white area to being signed, modelling in Milan and suddenly having his appearance become his career. We then get into sexuality and identity. Tyrell talks about growing up mixed-race and gay, learning to become a “chameleon” depending on the space he was in and why being perceived as masculine or “straight passing” comes with its own expectations. Music has become a way for Tyrell to move away from those expectations and back towards himself. He takes us inside his writing process, explains how he uses phonetic singing to find melodies before lyrics and talks about finally releasing music that’s been sitting unheard for years, alongside what’s coming next. Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    Pretty Boys, Modelling & Coming out: Tyrell Trey

  3. Aug 18

    Black Masculinity, Hookup Culture & The Gay Blueprint: Andrew Akuruka

    In this episode, we're joined by Andrew Akuruka, author of The Gay Blueprint, for an honest and at times challenging conversation about gay identity, masculinity, race, sex and the expectations we place on ourselves and each other. Andrew opens up about knowing he was gay from a young age, but only coming out to his Nigerian mum decades later. He reflects on growing up around religion, fearing that his mum’s love might be conditional and the unexpectedly emotional moment that followed when he finally told her he was gay. We also unpack Andrew’s complicated relationship with masculinity and what it means to be both Black and gay. From feeling like he didn't fit traditional stereotypes of gay men, to questioning whether he was performing masculinity to protect himself, Andrew explains how becoming a father and confronting his own ideas around gender helped him start unlearning some of those expectations. The conversation then turns to dating and fetishisation within the gay community. Andrew talks about being desired as a masculine Black man, the stereotypes attached to Black men sexually and the moment he realised there was a difference between being wanted and actually being known. Finally, things get a little more heated as we debate hookup culture, sex positivity, self-love, accountability and whether the gay community needs to rethink some of the behaviours we've normalised.  Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF OR @farisandjosh

    Black Masculinity, Hookup Culture & The Gay Blueprint: Andrew Akuruka

  4. Jul 28

    A*POP, Top Shortage & Heartstopper

    After months of back-to-back guests, we're finally back with a solo episode... and there's a lot to catch up on. From sneaking into Tyla's exclusive A*POP listening party in London and sharing our first impressions of her new album, to debating Beyoncé, Jay-Z and celebrity culture. We also dive into one of the biggest debates in the LGBTQ+ community: is there really a "top shortage", or are gay men simply conditioned to associate masculinity with attraction? We unpack why DL men are so desired, the stereotypes surrounding tops and bottoms, masculinity, femininity, Heartstopper, queer identity and the expectations placed on gay men. Whether you're here for Tyla, LGBTQ+ culture, queer dating, pop culture, masculinity, Heartstopper or simply a chaotic catch-up with us, we hope you enjoy this episode. Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    A*POP, Top Shortage & Heartstopper

  5. Jul 20

    Queer Africans, Masculinity & IKAG: Blessing Kingsley

    In this exclusive episode, we're joined by I Kissed A Girl season two's Blessing, one of the breakout personalities from the series. Known for her confidence, warmth and unapologetic masculinity, Blessing opens up about her journey on the show, finding community with other masc lesbians and why I Kissed A Girl became far more than just a dating experience. From navigating life inside the Masseria and challenging stereotypes around masculine-presenting lesbians, to reflecting on the support she found from the other contestants, Blessing shares what it was really like representing a side of the LGBTQ+ community that is still rarely seen on mainstream television. She also reveals the emotional impact of seeing her Nigerian mum join her on the show and why that moment became one of the most healing experiences of her life. The conversation then becomes deeply personal as Blessing opens up about growing up Black, queer and masculine, learning to embrace every part of her identity and rejecting the idea that masculinity belongs to men. We discuss race, representation, Black masculinity, African families, queer visibility, vulnerability, healing your inner child and why seeing yourself reflected on screen can change everything. If you enjoyed I Kissed A Girl, are interested in LGBTQ+ stories, identity, representation and honest conversations about race, masculinity and family, make sure you subscribe and check out the rest of our I Kissed A Girl special this week. Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    Queer Africans, Masculinity & IKAG: Blessing Kingsley

  6. Jul 15

    Secret Relationships, Indian Identity & The Messy Masseria: Nikita Bharath

    In this exclusive episode, we're joined by I Kissed A Girl season two's Nikita Bharath for her first ever podcast appearance. As the only contestant from the series still in a relationship, Nikita finally opens up about finding love with Pippa, keeping their relationship secret for almost a year and what really happened after the cameras stopped rolling. From navigating multiple connections, love triangles and the final kiss-off, to building a relationship away from the cameras, Nikita reflects on her experience inside the Masseria and why taking things slowly became the foundation of her relationship with Pippa.  The conversation then becomes deeply personal as Nikita opens up about growing up queer, reconnecting with her Indian heritage and learning to embrace every part of her identity. We discuss race, representation, spirituality, Hindu traditions, colonialism, growing up in a predominantly white environment and the impact of being labelled "the acceptable Indian" as a child. If you enjoyed I Kissed A Girl, are interested in LGBTQ+ stories, then make sure you subscribe and check out the rest of our I Kissed A Girl special this week. Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    Secret Relationships, Indian Identity & The Messy Masseria: Nikita Bharath

  7. Jul 12

    Heartbreak, OCD & Kissing Girls: Faye Mcgrath

    Faye McGrath first captured the nation's hearts on BBC's I Kissed A Girl, where her warmth, humour and vulnerability made her one of the standout personalities of the series.  In this episode, Faye joins us to reflect on her experience on the show, navigating rejection in front of the nation and the deeper emotional journey that shaped her long before reality TV.  From falling for Elise, feeling like she was "too nice" for reality TV and unpacking the lessons she took from I Kissed A Girl, Faye opens up about how the experience forced her to confront unresolved childhood wounds, anxious attachment and a lifelong fear of rejection. The conversation then becomes deeply personal as Faye shares her powerful coming out story, growing up knowing she was gay, hiding her identity through school, losing her best friend after coming out and why she genuinely believed saying the words "I'm gay" would change her life forever. We also discuss OCD, ADHD, intrusive thoughts, Pure O, mental health, diabetes, vitiligo and why learning to accept love has been one of the biggest challenges of her life. If you enjoyed I Kissed A Girl, are interested in LGBTQ+ stories, mental health, coming out, relationships, attachment styles, or healing from childhood trauma then make sure you describe to watch the other episode we have coming out this week! Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    Heartbreak, OCD & Kissing Girls: Faye Mcgrath

  8. Jul 7

    Cults, Santería & Reclaiming KFC: Cain Culto

    Cain Culto is a queer artist, musician and creative whose work explores religion, spirituality, masculinity and identity. In this episode, we sit down with Cain to discuss growing up gay in the evangelical church, religious trauma, coming out, deconstructing Christianity and how he transformed years of shame into powerful music and art. From leading worship as a young church leader and preaching against homosexuality, to experiencing psychosis, being hospitalised and undergoing an attempted exorcism, Cain opens up about one of the most difficult periods of his life.  The conversation also explores masculinity, femininity, queer identity, Santería, indigenous spirituality, colonisation, Latino identity, ancestral healing  and why so many LGBTQ+ people are reconnecting with their culture after religious trauma.  Whether you're interested in LGBTQ+ stories, deconstructing faith, queer culture, religion, spirituality or masculinity his conversation offers a thoughtful and honest perspective on identity, healing and self-acceptance. Follow us on Social Media: TikTok: @AMAABF Instagram: @AMAABF

    Cults, Santería & Reclaiming KFC: Cain Culto
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Ratings & Reviews

4.7
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Welcome to "Avoiding My Anxiously Attached Boyfriend"! (AMAABF). A podcast that delves race, relationships and the LGBTQ+ community.Join the first visual and audio LGBTQ+ podcast hosted by a mixed heritage couple! Get to know Faris (anxiously attached), who's always seeking reassurance, and Josh (Avoidant attached), who self-sabotaged every relationship, until this one! No matter how hard he tried. This podcast came to fruition from long night chats in the garden with a cuppa, solving all of the world’s issues. Originally, starting as a podcast in our garage, to a beautiful studio in London. We want this podcast to be a place our beautiful listeners can enjoy, have a laugh and escape yaylity! So, join us and subscribe for new episodes every MONDAY! Peace, Love, and Rubber Gloves. 

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