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You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Torie Wiksell
  • 4.6 (68)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. As a therapist Torie focuses on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. She also grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a complicated relationship with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and find resources that can help at www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

  1. Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts: The Small Stuff That Wasn't Small at All

    2d ago • The Private Feed Only

    Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts: The Small Stuff That Wasn't Small at All

    When you grow up with a toxic parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits, it's not just the loud moments that do the deepest damage. It's also the thousand smaller cuts, the offhand comments that were minimized or dismissed by others, that slowly chip away at how you see yourself. In this episode of You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed, Torie shares one of those tiny cuts that deeply impacted her own sense of self growing up.

    10 min

  2. 6d ago

    Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent

    When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all.  It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along. In this episode you'll learn: Why a parent like this pretends not to understand your boundary, and what they're actually doing when they pull you into the back and forthThe difference between setting a boundary and asking for permission, and why only one of those is your jobThe "side quest" trap, where the whole conversation quietly shifts from your boundary to getting them to approve of itWhat a healthy parent is able to do that yours likely can't, and why that gap isn't something you can close by trying harderHow to get clear on your boundary before you ever bring it to them, so you're not improvising under pressureReady to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/opt-in Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    14 min
  3. Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent

    Jun 8 • The Private Feed Only

    Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent

    When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all. It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing yourself, and wondering if you were the unreasonable one all along. In this episode you'll learn: -Why a parent like this pretends not to understand your boundary, and what they're actually doing when they pull you into the back and forth -The difference between setting a boundary and asking for permission, and why only one of those is your job -The "side quest" trap, where the whole conversation quietly shifts from your boundary to getting them to approve of it -What a healthy parent is able to do that yours likely can't, and why that gap isn't something you can close by trying harder -How to get clear on your boundary before you ever bring it to them, so you're not improvising under pressure Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/vault Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/opt-in

    13 min

  4. Jun 2

    Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss

    You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would.  These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat.  It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries just don't work for them, when the truth is nobody ever taught them the second half of the process. In this episode you'll learn: What a boundary actually isWhy the same boundary lands fine with an emotionally mature person and is a complete disaster with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traitsWhy setting the boundary is only half the workThe piece that finally makes your boundaries stickReady to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.  Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    14 min
  5. Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss

    Jun 2 • The Private Feed Only

    Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss

    You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back. When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would. These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read your boundary as a threat. It's why so many cycle breakers quietly decide boundaries just don't work for them, when the truth is nobody ever taught them the second half of the process. In this episode you'll learn: -What a boundary actually is -Why the same boundary lands fine with an emotionally mature person and is a complete disaster with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits -Why setting the boundary is only half the work -The piece that finally makes your boundaries stick Ready to go deeper? The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

    13 min
  6. Going Through the Motions vs. Actually Healing: What "Doing the Work" Looks Like

    May 29 • The Private Feed Only

    Going Through the Motions vs. Actually Healing: What "Doing the Work" Looks Like

    When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, "doing the work" gets complicated fast. Some of these parents never go to therapy at all, some go but treat it like a performance, and some mock the healing you're doing. In this episode, Torie breaks down what doing the work actually means, why going to therapy or reading self-help books doesn't automatically count, and how to read your parent's patterns as information about what's realistic to expect from the relationship.

    11 min

  7. May 26

    Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all.  When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions.  And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, know exactly what they did, and still walk away wondering if you're the one who got it wrong. In this episode you'll learn: What gaslighting actually isThe difference between an emotionally immature parent, a narcissistic parent, and a parent with BPD when it comes to gaslightingWhy your brain literally cannot make sense of someone calmly insisting a shared event didn't happen, and what it does to copeHow chronic gaslighting turns into long-term self-doubt that gets in your way of breaking the cycleIf you've spent your whole life worried you might be the dramatic one, the sensitive one, the one who remembers things wrong, this episode is for you. The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com/vault. Get access to bonus content and the entire archive of episodes when you subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private  Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist  Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

    13 min

  8. May 26 • The Private Feed Only

    Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

    That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibility for their actions. And it's why, as an adult, you can sit across from someone you love, know exactly what they did, and still walk away wondering if you're the one who got it wrong. In this episode you'll learn: -What gaslighting actually is -The difference between an emotionally immature parent, a narcissistic parent, and a parent with BPD when it comes to gaslighting -Why your brain literally cannot make sense of someone calmly insisting a shared event didn't happen, and what it does to cope -How chronic gaslighting turns into long-term self-doubt that gets in your way of breaking the cycle If you've spent your whole life worried you might be the dramatic one, the sensitive one, the one who remembers things wrong, this episode is for you. The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself. Learn more and get started at confidentboundaries.com Follow Torie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist

    13 min
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4.6
out of 5
68 Ratings

About

Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about toxic parents and dysfunctional family dynamics. As a therapist Torie focuses on supporting the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. She also grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder and understands the uniquely complicated aspects of these relationships. Torie brings a refreshingly relatable perspective to navigating a complicated relationship with a parent who has BPD or narcissistic traits while instilling hope that things can get better and ensuring her listeners they are not alone. Follow Torie on TikTok: tiktok.com/@cyclebreakertherapist Follow Torie on Instagram: instagram.com/cyclebreakertherapist Learn more about navigating complicated parent relationships and find resources that can help at www.confidentboundaries.com Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy, nor is it a substitute for therapy. If you are in a mental health crisis, please contact the Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. You're Not Crazy is a podcast owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.

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