128 episodes
Love and Abuse Paul Colaianni
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- Health & Fitness
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4.8 • 768 Ratings
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Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.
You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.
Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com.
Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/
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When you decide enough is enough - the first step isn't the last
The victim of abusive behavior will eventually reach their breaking point. In that moment, they finally feel like they can take their life back. But they may still not be out of the woods yet during the transition from victim to empowered.
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What change really looks like when the emotional abuser heals
The healed former emotional abuser looks a lot different than the person they used to be. If you've ever accepted a hurtful person back into your life after they said they've changed but notice after a short while that their old behaviors are creeping back in, you might have missed an important clue that they haven't changed at all.
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Feeling discarded when they leave the relationship
Why does it seem so easy for some people to leave a relationship, get into another one, and act as if the one they were in didn't mean anything?
If you've felt discarded and can't stop thinking about what you did wrong, this episode is a good reminder of everything you were doing right. -
When the emotional abuser reaches back out after they've healed and changed
When the emotional abuser apologizes and tries to make amends with their ex-partner after they've done a lot of personal growth and development, should they expect a response from their ex? Is that expecting too much? Or is it time for all to move on and start anew?
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Time with yourself is not only necessary, its required
You give, you adapt, and you change who you are almost to your very core... to what end? When you are overly compassionate to others, you might actually be taking away from yourself. This is as harmful to your mind as a lack of sleep is to your body.
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Emotionally abusive behavior is also physically painful
Victims of emotional abuse can experience physical pain from all the trauma, potentially leading to increased tolerance and resilience of harm. They can gradually lose their identity due to the abuser’s actions, becoming a shell of their former selves.
Customer Reviews
Saving my life
This podcast has made me feel like I’m not alone, or “crazy”. Whenever I feel down I put an episode on. To remind myself what I went through, what that person did to me. Paul has brought so much light into my life. I will never let someone hurt me again. I feel stronger every time I listen to an episode. Thank you so much for your guidance. Your lessons are irreplaceable.
Highly recommend!
I just found this podcast and listened to the episode about the walls that abusers put up. This is so insightful and I highly recommend this podcast to anyone looking for understanding in a difficult relationship.
Latest episode
I’ll start by saying I appreciate this show.
The last episode rubs me the wrong way.
I am in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship. I was always apologizing for years and begging for forgiveness. I’ve been in therapy and have started standing up for myself. I don’t not grovel, apologize, or beg. I now tell him he is in the wrong when he’s abusive and point out he needs to change.
The episode basically says a victim will never blame the abuser and I think that is skewed and can lead to confusion.
A victim can be assertive, know it’s not them, call the abuser out for their behavior, and still be the victim.
At some point you realize that it is the abusers responsibility to get help and change and you stop fawning.
It is the abuser who is causing the relationship problems (I don’t mean normal relationship grievances of course - but the abuse cycle).
Can you clarify this to your audience? So this way if someone hears a victim “blaming” the abuser they don’t start to think the victim is actually the abuser. It is really hard to clarify as I’m sure my SO plays victim to his friend group as well.
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