120 episodes

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.

You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com.

Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/

Love and Abuse Paul Colaianni

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.8 • 739 Ratings

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Love and Abuse gives you the perspective of both the victim and the perpetrator. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.

You'll learn about covert abusive communication that takes away your power. And you'll discover how to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors, such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse, before you are dragged into a game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Get the guide that will tell you exactly what's happening in your relationship over at loveandabuse.com.

Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/

    When you think you're strong enough to get back into the difficult relationship

    When you think you're strong enough to get back into the difficult relationship

    When you reach your breaking point with someone, you might make the decision to leave. During that time, you can regain your confidence and feel your power again. You might even decide to give the relationship a second chance, knowing that if you see any warning signs, you can address them right away. 
    That is until you are once again coerced into staying in a situation that seems destined to go down the exact same path as before. Now what?  

    • 28 min
    How emotional abuse can enter your life like an infection

    How emotional abuse can enter your life like an infection

    Sometimes, you can't see the red flags before you're hurt. Emotional abuse can be like an infection that enters your body. You may not know it's there until a lot of time has passed, and you've invested a lot into the relationship.
    In this episode, I share how emotional abuse acts like an infection entering your body and mind and help you understand the environment in which such an emotional infection thrives. 

    • 25 min
    If you don't know your limits, you wont have any

    If you don't know your limits, you wont have any

    It can be hard to draw a line in a toxic relationship. Don't make your emotional resilience a prison of your own making. Your personal boundaries are there for a reason. Often, the only way things will change is if you do something because they won't 

    • 32 min
    When they go silent and emotionally disconnect from you

    When they go silent and emotionally disconnect from you

    When the emotionally abusive person goes silent in order to make you feel guilty and give them the attention they want, do they have a deeper motive of self-preservation? When abusers use silence to control you, there's a lot going on under the hood. In this episode, I share my personal history of using the silent treatment to control the people I claimed to love. 

    • 35 min
    Should you give in to their perception of you?

    Should you give in to their perception of you?

    Some people are so wrapped up in their need to control you that they completely overlook your worth and importance. They can be so busy keeping you focused on yourself and everything you're doing "wrong," that you might actually start to believe what they're saying about you. 

    • 36 min
    Their past trauma and abuse isn't the immediate issue in the relationship

    Their past trauma and abuse isn't the immediate issue in the relationship

    The emotionally abusive person can have a traumatic past. Their abusive behaviors can have an abusive origin. Is it better to help them address their past to stop their behaviors toward you? It's an important question that you should definitely want to know the answer to. 

    • 31 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
739 Ratings

739 Ratings

patricia micaela bessa ,

Great show to stop the abuser

Boundaries get confused with care and crossing boundaries - cruel behavior, manipulation followed Random acts kindness … it makes you feel crazy
Thankful to Paul to map it out
Very helpful

britstew ,

“ You can only change you” stuff don’t work

So, I have a question, could you explain the reasons with people that are narcissistic and emotionally abusive why the other spouse changing themselves doesn’t make or encourage the abusing/narcissistic spouse want to change? There doesn’t seem to be many people talking about it.

I’ve been there done that, tried it all, and my spouse continued to just be emotionally lazy, toxic, pass the blame, make excuses, continued draining me emotionally, and frankly be turned off by me completely unless he was treated with utter grace no matter how awful he acted, treated me, or how he messed up the money, I wasn’t allowed to get upset because it triggered him. Basically, I couldn’t be any sort of normal in my opinion.

Momma Juana ,

Enlightening

Thank you for such useful tools to define and identify emotions along with beginning steps on how to handle such difficulties.

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