101 episodes

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.

Revealing covert abusive communication that takes away your power. Learn to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse before you are dragged into their game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Download the guide at loveandabuse.com.

Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/

Love and Abuse Paul Colaianni

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.7 • 635 Ratings

Helping you identify toxic communication, emotional abuse, manipulation, and other forms of bad behavior in relationships. Full of tips and advice for your friendships, family, love life, and marriage.

Revealing covert abusive communication that takes away your power. Learn to pinpoint the specific toxic behaviors such as narcissistic abuse and verbal abuse before you are dragged into their game so deep you come out a shell of your former self.

Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook, an assessment and healing guide to help you evaluate the emotionally abusive and manipulative patterns in your relationship. Download the guide at loveandabuse.com.

Transcripts available upon request: https://loveandabuse.com/contact/

    Is just functioning together good enough

    Is just functioning together good enough

    Relationships can survive even when things are bad, but what about when things are never good but just functional? Is just functioning together good enough? Can you make it work? 
    Functioning together can make some of life easier, but not necessarily happier. I explore that topic today.  

    • 19 min
    When you find yourself crawling back to them over and over again

    When you find yourself crawling back to them over and over again

    Why do we return to toxic people over and over again? It's certainly not because we love to suffer. But maybe there's more going on that should be considered. Sometimes knowing the reasons can help you stop the round trips back to someone that doesn't seem to care if you're happy or not. 

    • 41 min
    LAA Insights - Learning what attracts the hurtful people

    LAA Insights - Learning what attracts the hurtful people

    Can low self-worth attract someone that makes you feel lower? Can people-pleasing attract a taker that never stops taking?
    There are many ways to become attracted to someone. But there are attractions that aren't always positive. It's important to know what about them makes them appealing when some qualities can be downright abusive. 
    LAA Insights is an addendum to the regular show that you'll find scattered in between full episodes. On Insights, I pick random emails that I haven't addressed yet and do my best to provide my insights and opinions. 

    • 20 min
    LAA Insights - Is he right about me being the abuser?

    LAA Insights - Is he right about me being the abuser?

    A special episode answering a question from someone who isn't sure if they are the abuser and if they need to work on their own abusive behavior, even though there are clear signs they are being abused as well. 
     
    LAA Insights is an addendum to the regular show that you'll find scattered in between full episodes. On Insights, I pick random emails that I haven't addressed yet and do my best to provide my insights and opinions. 

    • 12 min
    Bonding with people that traumatize you

    Bonding with people that traumatize you

    Becoming dependent on someone can put you at their mercy sometimes. And if they are toxic, you are not only now dependent on them for certain things, but they make sure you continue to depend on them so you never get your wants and needs filled completely.

    It's like a bag of chips... you can never eat just one. You know they're bad for you, but you keep coming back. I talk about our dependencies in this episode and how they can create hard-to-break trauma bonds. 

    • 39 min
    Can depression be used for manipulation?

    Can depression be used for manipulation?

    There can be some good excuses for hurtful behavior. With some excuses, it can be hard to differentiate between fact and fiction. 
    When someone uses their condition or illness to manipulate or control you, it can make it that much more difficult to get out from under their spell. 

    • 30 min

Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5
635 Ratings

635 Ratings

Aross0505 ,

Can’t thank you enough

For the past three years, I’ve been in an abusive relationship with a person who suffers from addiction and comes from a chauvinistic culture. I have a tendency to be overly compassionate to the point I end up desperately trying to understand the other persons feelings while neglecting my own. This podcast brought me a tremendous amount of clarity during times I felt in the dark. There have been many, many times I felt I had no one to go to and have had to suffer in silence. During those times, I would turn to this podcast and the knowledge you shared validated my feelings when my ex would make me feel bad, guilty and/or confused. I finally left my toxic relationship a few days ago and this podcast is the #1 source that is helping me emotionally / mentally pull through and stay strong / certain in my decision. I’m immensely grateful for your work, time and effort you generously dedicate to helping people like me who’ve been suffering in abusive relationships and feel alone. I can’t possibly describe in words how much you’ve helped me and will continue to. What you do here matters. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You’ve been my guiding light.

Nikki-Remake ,

This is Amazing!!!

This is the best thing I have ever come across! When your in the middle of the tornado, sometimes you think your crazy and can’t articulate your feelings. This podcast has helped me so much and I can’t ever recommend it enough!! His voice is smoothing and just what I needed. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!💓

Steph__F ,

An absolute MUST-listen!

This podcast was what finally gave me the ability to understand exactly what was happening to me in my toxic relationship with an extremely manipulative narcissist, to explain what I was experiencing to other people, and to finally get out of the emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive relationship. PLEASE listen to this if you feel in any way that you are in an unhealthy relationship. I say this all as someone who those that know me would describe as strong, intelligent, educated, successful, and independent… and I still got stuck in the trap. It can happen to anyone and you are not crazy or alone. This podcast saved me from going further down a terrible path.

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