Compassion in a T-Shirt

Dr Stan Steindl
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

A podcast exploring the science and practice of compassion. Offers clear and practical advice on how to cultivate compassion and self-compassion from experts in the field. Life can be difficult, and this podcast is designed to help. Compassion in a T-Shirt has featured guests including Professor Paul Gilbert, Professor Terri Moyers, Professor James Doty, Deirdre Fay, Dr Chris Germer, Dr Kristin Neff, Dr Marcela Matos, Dr James Kirby, and more.

  1. 5d ago

    How Self-Compassion Can Change Your Life | Clarissa Rayward

    I think this interview speaks to anyone who has ever wondered whether success has come at too great a cost. After building a successful legal career, Clarissa Rayward reached a point where she dreaded driving to work. Rather than walking away from the profession she loved, she chose a different path—one that led her to rethink success, embrace self-compassion, and ultimately create Happy Lawyer Happy Life. In this conversation, Clarissa shares the deeply personal story behind that turning point, the lessons she learned from burnout and grief, and how those experiences transformed the way she practises family law, leads her team, and lives her life. Together, we explore self-compassion, perfectionism, courage, receiving help, redefining success, and why genuine wellbeing isn't about lowering our standards but creating a life that's sustainable. We also dive into some fascinating questions about compassion in the legal profession. Can compassion exist within an adversarial system? What happens when we shift from asking, "Who's right?" to "What really matters?" Clarissa explains how collaborative practice, curiosity and deep listening are changing the way she helps families navigate separation and conflict. Towards the end of our conversation, we also explore the rise of artificial intelligence and why, despite extraordinary technological change, genuinely listening to another person may become even more valuable. It was particularly meaningful when Clarissa reflected on what it felt like to simply be listened to—a timely reminder that compassion often begins not with advice, but with understanding. Whether you're a lawyer, psychologist, healthcare professional, leader, parent, or simply someone trying to build a meaningful life, I think you'll find something valuable in Clarissa's wisdom. If you enjoy conversations exploring compassion, wellbeing and human flourishing, I'd love you to subscribe to the channel and join us for future interviews and video essays. Connect with Clarissa Rayward Happy Lawyer Happy Life https://www.happylawyerhappylife.com/ Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/6Swqki7ooLQ8fDV1AlhXsY Book https://www.happylawyerhappylife.com/thebook/ Brisbane Family Law Centre https://www.bflc.com.au/ Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:05 The burnout that changed everything 08:30 Early warning signs and perfectionism 13:20 Self-compassion and asking for help 20:00 Redefining success 27:45 The three flows of compassion 34:15 Compassion in family law 41:30 Changing the legal profession 44:45 AI, listening and staying human 47:30 What really matters in life 50:10 Closing reflections 23:47 Final Takeaways Links: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/MLwwJ-NYfYo *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: compassion, selfcompassion, burnout, wellbeing, happiness, familylaw

  2. Jul 25

    Reflective Listening: The Magic Mirror of Compassionate Listening

    What if the most powerful listening skill isn't asking better questions—but making better reflections? In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr. Stan Steindl explores one of the core skills of compassionate communication: reflective listening. Drawing on Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), and the work of Carl Rogers, you'll learn how reflections help people feel understood, organise their thoughts, discover deeper meaning, and often arrive at their own insights. Using the metaphor of an ordinary mirror versus a magic mirror, this episode explains why reflections are far more than repeating someone's words. They become a compassionate way of helping people understand themselves. Whether you're a therapist, coach, healthcare professional, leader, teacher, parent, partner, or simply someone who wants to become a better listener, these practical skills can transform your conversations. If this video was helpful, I'd love for you to like, subscribe, and share it with someone who values meaningful conversations. Small changes in the way we listen can make an enormous difference to the people around us. Timestamps: 00:00 Surface vs Deep Talk 01:06 Questions vs Reflections 02:46 What Is a Reflection? 04:38 Simple Reflections 06:07 Complex Reflection Magic 08:03 Reflecting Feelings 11:38 Reflecting Meaning 14:33 Choosing What to Reflect 16:22 Special Reflection Types 19:50 Drop the Reflection Stems 21:05 Putting It All Together 22:27 Compassion in Action 23:47 Final Takeaways Links: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/2et5eQKwBnA *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: reflectivelistening, compassionfocusedtherapy, compassion, motivationinterviewing, communicationskills, activelistening

  3. Jul 17

    Better Listening Starts With Better Questions

    Most of us think good listening means staying quiet. But great listeners do something else as well—they ask better questions. When someone is struggling, it's natural to want to offer advice, share our own experience, or tell them what we think they should do. But what if, instead of giving another answer, we asked another question? In this episode, I explore one of the most powerful listening skills I know: Ask, Don't Tell. Drawing on compassion, motivational interviewing, and over 25 years of clinical psychology, I'll show you how turning advice into thoughtful questions can help people discover their own wisdom, strengthen relationships, and create deeper, more meaningful conversations. You'll also learn a practical framework of eight different question types—from opening and exploring questions through to strength, possibility and commitment questions—that you can start using immediately in everyday life, whether you're a parent, partner, friend, leader, coach, therapist or simply someone who wants to listen more compassionately. If you've ever wondered how to become a better listener, it might start with asking better questions. Timestamps: 00:00 A childhood question I never forgot 00:50 Why good questions matter so much 01:30 Ask, don't tell: a simple listening shift 02:28 Turning advice into thoughtful questions 03:22 The motivational interviewing mindset 04:19 Open versus closed questions 05:34 Eight question types for better listening 05:52 Opening, exploring and clarifying questions 06:47 Perspective and balancing questions 07:27 Strength, possibility and commitment questions 08:51 Avoiding advice disguised as questions 09:36 The quiet power of curiosity Links: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/pCJN49ez_Mw *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: listening, listeningskills, communicationskills, motivationalinterviewing, compassion, psychology

  4. Jul 11

    Listening Without Fixing: Why Advice Often Backfires

    The more I tried to help, the less effective I sometimes became. It sounds backwards, but years ago I discovered that the harder I pushed with advice, solutions, or persuasion, the more resistance I often encountered. That experience led me to one of the most important lessons I've learned as a psychologist: sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do is stop trying to fix and start trying to understand. In this episode, I explore why our urge to fix is usually well-intentioned, but can sometimes get in the way of genuinely helping. Drawing on Compassion Focused Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, and three fascinating psychological theories—Self-Perception Theory, Psychological Reactance, and Self-Determination Theory—we look at why people are often more likely to discover their own answers than adopt ours. You'll also learn practical ways to become a more compassionate listener by replacing advice with curiosity, reflection, and thoughtful questions that help others find their own way forward. If you've ever found yourself wanting to solve someone else's problems (or wishing someone would simply listen to yours!) I hope this episode gives you a different way of thinking about what it means to help. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Have you ever experienced a conversation where being listened to was more helpful than receiving advice? Timestamps: 00:00 Why Trying to Fix Fails 01:14 The Urge to Fix 02:57 Compassion Means Understanding 03:22 Why Advice Needs Understanding 04:07 How Talking Creates Clarity 05:15 Why We Resist Advice 07:21 Why Autonomy Drives Change 08:23 Listening Is Real Help 09:13 Three Ways to Listen Better 11:02 Listening as Compassion 12:08 A Simple Experiment This Week 12:54 Final Thoughts Links: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/UT29TU1-WQY *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: listening, compassion, compassionfocusedtherapy, motivationalinterviewing, psychology, communication

  5. Jul 10

    The Three Circles Model Put to the Test | Dylan Moloney-Gibb

    Can we actually measure the Three Circles Model? And if we can, what does that tell us about what's happening in our brains, bodies, and emotions? For years, the Three Circles Model has been one of the central ideas in Compassion Focused Therapy, helping therapists and clients make sense of threat, drive, and soothing. But until recently, it had never really been tested scientifically. In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, I'm joined by compassion researcher Dr Dylan Moloney-Gibb to discuss his groundbreaking research, recently published in Behaviour Research and Therapy. Together with colleagues Chase Sherwell, Sasha Lynn and James Kirby, Dylan explores whether the Three Circles Model reflects measurable changes in physiology, using heart rate variability (HRV) alongside the new digital Three Circles app. We explore how the app works, why it may offer advantages over traditional questionnaires, and what happens to threat, drive and soothing when people move through rest, stress, recovery and compassion. We also discuss some surprising findings—including why the compassion exercise didn't produce the changes the researchers expected—and what this might mean for the future of Compassion Focused Therapy, emotion regulation research, and clinical practice. Whether you're a therapist, researcher, student, or simply curious about compassion, neuroscience and emotion regulation, I think you'll find this a fascinating conversation. Timestamps: 00:00 Meet Dr Dylan Moloney-Gibb 02:16 The Three Circles app 02:34 Understanding threat, drive and soothing 07:59 Why this research matters 11:21 Measuring circle dominance 14:03 Is the soothing system more than calmness? 16:45 The Triple R study design (Rest, Reactivity, Recovery) 20:30 The compassion exercise 23:04 What happened to the Three Circles? 28:53 Comparing the circles with heart rate variability (HRV) 31:34 Why balance between the circles matters 38:31 Future directions for research 42:19 What this means for therapists and the future of CFT Links: The Three Circle Model of Compassion Focused Therapy: An Experimental Paradigm to Assess Dynamic Psychophysiological Changes of Emotion Regulation Systems (Moloney-Gibb, Sherwell, Lynn & Kirby, 2026). Open Access at https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2026.105028 Find links to Dylan’s other papers here: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Dylan-Moloney-Gibb Find the Three Circles App here: https://www.threecircles.io/ If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/ZklIRyBzpkY *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: CompassionFocusedTherapy, ThreeCirclesModel, EmotionRegulation, SelfCompassion, HeartRateVariability, HRV, Neuroscience, ClinicalPsychology, Psychotherapy, CompassionScience, MentalHealth, Psychology, PaulGilbert, DylanMoloneyGibb, StanSteindl

  6. Jun 20

    How to Listen Better: 7 Skills of Compassionate Listening

    Most of us think listening is easy. But if we're honest, we often listen with the intention to reply, advise, fix, persuade, or tell our own story. In this follow-up to my recent episode on listening as compassion, I explore what compassionate listening actually looks like in practice. Drawing on ideas from compassion-focused therapy, motivational interviewing, and the work of Carl Rogers, I share seven simple skills that can help us become better listeners in our everyday lives. These aren't just communication techniques. They are ways of creating the kind of safety and understanding that help people feel heard, valued, and less alone. In this video, you'll learn: . Why "No Fixin'" is often the best place to start . How to "Ask, Don't Tell” . Why reflection is one of the most powerful listening skills . How to listen for feelings and deeper meaning . Why silence is often where the real conversation begins . What it means to put your agenda down . Why understanding someone doesn't require agreeing with them Whether you're a therapist, coach, leader, teacher, parent, partner, or friend, these skills can help you have more compassionate and meaningful conversations. As Carl Rogers famously said: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Perhaps something similar is true in our conversations. When people feel accepted and understood, they often find their own way forward. I'd love to hear from you in the comments. Which of these listening skills comes most naturally to you? And which one do you find most challenging? Timestamps: 00:00 Why Listening Is Compassion 00:50 Threat vs Curiosity 01:14 Tip 1 No Fixing 02:13 Tip 2 Ask Dont Tell 04:02 Tip 3 If In Doubt Reflect 05:08 Tip 4 Feelings and Meaning 07:20 Tip 5 Make Friends With Silence 08:16 Tip 6 Put Your Agenda Down 09:10 Tip 7 Understand Without Agreeing 10:15 Key Takeaways and Closing Links: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/oWHmGIjn4FA *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: compassionatelistening, compassion, selfcompassion, empathy, psychology, communicationskills

  7. Jun 12

    Why Listening Is the Most Powerful Act of Compassion

    After the unexpected death of a dear friend, I found myself doing what many of us do when faced with grief. I tried to stay strong. I tried to carry on. But it wasn't until I sat around a campfire with friends—sharing memories, expressing sadness, and listening to one another—that something began to shift. That experience got me thinking about listening. In a world increasingly shaped by social media algorithms, advertising, political polarisation, and the constant pressure to broadcast our opinions, genuine listening can feel surprisingly rare. Yet being heard remains one of the most powerful human experiences we can offer one another. In this episode, I explore listening as an act of compassion. We journey from ancient oral traditions and Indigenous storytelling, through Socrates, Confucius, Carl Rogers, and motivational interviewing, to consider why listening helps reduce defensiveness, soften threat, create connection, and transform isolation into belonging. Listening doesn't necessarily remove suffering. A grieving friend still grieves. A difficult situation may remain difficult. But when people feel heard, something important happens. We feel less alone. We feel understood. And sometimes, that's where healing begins. Timestamps: 00:00 Grief and the urge to hide 00:39 Healing through being heard 01:39 Listening as the core skill 02:07 A world that rewards noise 03:08 Listening across history 05:20 From waiting to real listening 05:56 Carl Rogers and empathy 07:20 Compassion begins with listening 08:19 How being heard changes us 09:57 Listening as a bridge in conflict 11:00 Motivational interviewing basics 11:40 What compassionate listening sounds like 12:35 Why listening matters now 13:28 The gift of listening Links: If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/5dQZymv8lp8 *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: listening, compassion, empathy, psychology, communication, relationships, mentalhealth, wellbeing, connection, selfcompassion

  8. Jun 4

    Teacher Burnout, Stress Contagion & Self-Compassion | Dr Rita Princi-Hubbard

    Teacher burnout doesn't just affect teachers—it affects students too. In this episode of Compassion in a T-Shirt, Dr Stan Steindl speaks with Clinical Psychologist, educator, researcher, and founder of the Institute for Neuroscience and Education, Dr Rita Princi-Hubbard, about compassionate pedagogy, teacher wellbeing, and the fascinating ways stress and emotional regulation can flow between teachers and students. Drawing on her PhD research and her chapter, Teaching the New Teacher with Compassionate Pedagogy, Rita explains why many teachers enter the profession without sufficient training in child development, emotional regulation, trauma, attachment, and self-compassion. She argues that understanding how people work—not just how students learn—is one of the missing pieces in modern teacher education. The conversation explores the concept of "stress contagion" and the bidirectional relationship between teacher and student wellbeing. Rita shares research showing how teacher stress can influence students, how student distress can affect teachers, and why self-compassion may be one of the most important tools for preventing burnout and creating emotionally safe learning environments. Stan and Rita discuss: • Teacher burnout and the growing pressures facing educators • Stress contagion and emotional co-regulation in the classroom • Why teacher wellbeing matters for student wellbeing • Compassion Focused Therapy and the Three Systems Model • Attachment, trauma, and child development in education • The limits of rewards-and-consequences behaviour management • Self-compassion and receiving support as an educator • Heart rate variability research conducted in real classrooms • Compassionate pedagogy and social justice • What teacher education programs may be missing Whether you're a teacher, school leader, psychologist, parent, student, or simply interested in compassion and education, this conversation offers a compelling vision for how understanding, connection, and compassion can help both teachers and students flourish. Timestamps: 00:00 Compassion Meets Education 02:11 Why Teacher Training Falls Short 03:10 Stress Contagion Explained 04:59 Modern Teacher Stressors 10:19 Teacher Shame and Self-Doubt 12:03 Inside the Research Design 15:32 The Eight Module Program 19:51 Self-Compassion for Teachers 25:39 Receiving Help Without Guilt 27:46 Three Systems Model in Classrooms 33:18 Beyond Rewards and Consequences 37:47 Heart Rate Variability Findings 43:14 Compassion and Social Justice 44:47 Redesigning Teacher Education 47:26 Advice for Burnout Beginners 49:43 Closing Reflections and Thanks If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who cares about education, wellbeing, and compassion. Links: Rita Princi-Hubbard’s website: https://www.in-ed.com.au/copy-of-consulting Compassionate Pedagogy in Higher Education: International Perspectives https://www.amazon.com.au/Compassionate-Pedagogy-Higher-Education-International/dp/1911451448/ If you would like to learn more about compassion focused therapy, you can find Dr Stan Steindl's book The Gifts of Compassion here: https://www.ausapress.com/p/the-gifts-of-compassion-how-to-understand-and-overcome-suffering/ Say hi on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drstansteindl Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/StanSteindl Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_stan_steindl/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stan-steindl-150a5264/ Website: https://www.stansteindl.com/ YouTube Video URL: https://youtu.be/D_H0t8YvqMw *Affiliate Disclaimer: Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in no way obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support! Video hashtags: teacherwellbeing, teacherburnout, compassionatepedagogy, selfcompassion, education, compassionfocusedtherapy

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A podcast exploring the science and practice of compassion. Offers clear and practical advice on how to cultivate compassion and self-compassion from experts in the field. Life can be difficult, and this podcast is designed to help. Compassion in a T-Shirt has featured guests including Professor Paul Gilbert, Professor Terri Moyers, Professor James Doty, Deirdre Fay, Dr Chris Germer, Dr Kristin Neff, Dr Marcela Matos, Dr James Kirby, and more.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr Stan Steindl
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    144
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Dr Stan Steindl
  • Show Website
    Compassion in a T-Shirt

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