You Have the Power - The Road to Truth, Freedom and Real Connection

Darla Ridilla

This podcast is for women who are done asking the same question: Why do emotionally unavailable men keep showing up in my life? Hosted by Darla Ridilla, somatic and trauma-informed Relationship and Self-Leadership Coach, this podcast breaks down the pattern most women can feel but struggle to explain. The chemistry is there.The connection feels real.And yet the consistency, depth, and emotional presence never fully arrive. Each episode exposes the difference between emotionally unavailable men and emotionally willing men — and the subtle moments where women override themselves trying to make the connection work. Not through fixing yourself.Through changing how you relate. Here we talk about the moments most women minimize: The tightening in your jaw when he doesn’t follow through.The instinct to soften your needs so you don’t seem “too much.”The quiet decision to stay patient when your body already knows something is off. These moments aren’t small. They are the exact places where women disconnect from themselves and unintentionally keep the pattern alive. Through the Magnetic Connections Pathway — Presence, Agency, and Empowerment — Darla shows how women shift out of managing connection and start responding to reality instead of potential. Because the woman who magnetizes emotionally willing men isn’t performing for love. She’s choosing from clarity. You’re not asking for too much. You’ve just been accepting too little.

  1. 86: Single on Purpose Isn’t a Status - It’s a Standard

    3D AGO

    86: Single on Purpose Isn’t a Status - It’s a Standard

    You keep telling yourself to be patient. To give him time. To not overreact. To understand where he’s coming from. But your body already knows something is off. And the longer you stay… the more you feel yourself slipping. This episode is Part 3 of the Embodiment Series. And we’re talking about what happens after you set standards… …and he doesn’t meet them. Because this is the moment most women fold. Not because they don’t know better. But because being alone feels heavier than staying in something that slowly drains them. Let’s be real: It’s not the dating pool. It’s not your age. It’s the fear of being alone that keeps you tolerating what you already know doesn’t work.  In this episode, we go deeper into what it actually means to be: Single on purpose. Not as a status. But as a standard. This is for you if you are: • In a relationship and questioning what you’re tolerating • Dating and tired of repeating the same pattern • Or standing in that in-between space… knowing something needs to change We talk about: • Why loneliness isn’t the real problem • What your partner’s reaction to your boundaries actually reveals • The difference between missing connection and living in chaos • Why peace starts to matter more than companionship • And what it looks like to choose yourself… even when it’s uncomfortable Because the woman you’re becoming… doesn’t stay where she has to abandon herself just to be loved. She can sit at a table alone… in a room full of people… and feel grounded in who she is. Not waiting. Not hoping. Not proving. Choosing. And from that place? She doesn’t chase connection. She recognizes it. You don’t need more options. You need the courage to stop accepting what doesn’t feel right. You have the power. Now choose like it. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    20 min
  2. 85: The Cost of Standards No One Talks About - Why Everything Feels Harder Before It Gets Better

    MAR 23

    85: The Cost of Standards No One Talks About - Why Everything Feels Harder Before It Gets Better

    You thought raising your standards would make your life better. So why does it feel harder? Why does it feel like everything is falling apart instead of coming together? This is the part no one talks about.  This is Part 2 of a 3-part series on embodiment. When you stop abandoning yourself… you stop being easy to be with. And that comes with a cost. In this episode, we’re breaking down what actually happens when you embody your standards: Why people start reacting differently when you change What it really means when you’re labeled “too much,” “rigid,” or “cold” How raising your standards doesn’t just change behavior… it removes access Why loneliness becomes the biggest trigger to go backBecause here’s the reality: You’re not struggling to know what you want. You’re struggling to hold the line when it costs you something. And sometimes that cost looks like: Walking away from a relationship that isn’t aligned Losing friendships that no longer fit Sitting in loneliness longer than you expected Being misunderstood by people who benefited from the old version of you But the cost of abandoning yourself? It’s higher.  This episode is for the woman who knows she wants more… but feels the pull to go back just to escape the discomfort. We’re going to ground you in what’s actually happening so you can stop questioning yourself and start trusting what you already see. Because: You’re not asking for too much. You’re just done accepting too little. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    31 min
  3. 84: When Your Standards Become Non-Negotiable - Why Emotionally Unavailable Men Stop Qualifying

    MAR 16

    84: When Your Standards Become Non-Negotiable - Why Emotionally Unavailable Men Stop Qualifying

    You’ve tried to communicate better. You’ve tried to be patient. You’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ve wondered… Maybe I’m expecting too much. But deep down, your body already knows the truth. You feel calm when he’s present… and anxious when he disappears. You replay conversations. You explain his behavior to your friends. You tell yourself he just needs more time. But emotionally unavailable men thrive in that space — the space where you keep negotiating with yourself. In this first episode of a three-part series on Embodiment, we’re talking about the moment that pattern finally breaks. The moment your standards stop being something you think about… and become something you live. This is where you stop responding to potential. You start responding to behavior. You stop trying to prove you’re understanding enough, patient enough, supportive enough. And you start standing by your standards with a backbone. In this episode, we explore: • Why emotionally unavailable men create confusion  • What it actually means to have standards with a backbone  • Why his reaction to your standards tells you everything  • The difference between an emotionally unavailable man and an emotionally willing man Because emotionally unavailable men aren’t the mystery. They’re the feedback. And when your standards become non-negotiable… Emotionally unavailable men don’t suddenly evolve. They simply stop qualifying. And the woman you’re becoming? She doesn’t chase potential. She chooses from power. If this episode hit close to home and you’re ready to stop repeating the same relationship pattern, book a Magnetic Connections Call. The link is in the show notes. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    21 min
  4. 83: The Women They Call B*tches: Embrace Your Too Much – A Conversation with Hannah Sol Marie

    MAR 9

    83: The Women They Call B*tches: Embrace Your Too Much – A Conversation with Hannah Sol Marie

    What if the very thing they called you… is the thing that makes you magnetic? In this conversation with Hannah Sol Marie, founder of the Brave Bitches Club, we reclaim the word that’s been used to shrink outspoken women for generations. Too loud. Too bossy. Too intense. Too much. Or… finally unwilling to disappear. Hannah shares her story of leaving an engagement, walking away from conditional belonging, and rebuilding community rooted in truth instead of approval. We talk about what it means to trust your body when it says “this isn’t safe,” even when the future looks perfect on paper. We explore: Why emotionally unavailable men push back when you set the toneHow standards with a backbone reveal who’s actually alignedThe difference between conditional safety and real emotional securityWhy not everyone is meant to resonate with you — and why that’s powerThe courage it takes to show up messy instead of polishedIf you’ve ever been told you’re “too much”… If you’ve felt pressure to soften your edges to be chosen… If you’ve mistaken chemistry for compatibility… This episode is your reminder: You were never too much. You were just negotiating with yourself. When you stop shrinking to maintain connection, the wrong dynamics fall away. Not because you force them out — but because you stop responding to them. And emotionally willing men? They don’t need you to be smaller. They respond to a woman who knows who she is. If this conversation activates something in you, pay attention. That’s your clarity speaking. Done being labeled “too much”? Stop choosing men who need you to be less. Inside my masterclass, I’ll show you how to shift the pattern for good. Three Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men: Link below in the show notes. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    59 min
  5. 82: Clarity Is the Gateway - The Woman You’re Becoming Doesn’t Chase Intensity, She Chooses From Power

    MAR 2

    82: Clarity Is the Gateway - The Woman You’re Becoming Doesn’t Chase Intensity, She Chooses From Power

    You already know. You’ve known for a while. But you keep replaying the conversation. You keep waiting for the follow-through. You keep asking your friends what they think. You keep telling yourself maybe you’re overreacting. You’re not confused. You’re afraid of what clarity will require. Because clarity will cost you. It might cost you the relationship. It might cost you approval. It might cost you the version of you that keeps the peace and calls it “understanding.” In this episode, Darla breaks down why sovereignty depends on clarity — and why so many women stay stuck not because they lack intelligence, but because they’re still negotiating the cost of being clear. You’ll hear: What it really means to stop choosing from hopeWhy emotionally unavailable men thrive on confusionHow to recognize patterns early instead of years too lateWhy calm in his presence but chaos when he disappears is not love — it’s intermittent reinforcementDarla shares the personal story of living in fear for eleven years after leaving an abusive marriage — and the moment clarity finally landed, leading her to make a decision that changed the direction of her life. This episode is not about being fearless. It’s about being decisive. It’s about becoming the woman who no longer circles the same decision for months. The woman who doesn’t chase intensity. The woman who chooses from power. Because emotionally willing men do not create confusion. They follow through. They communicate. They stay when it matters. And when you’re anchored in clarity, you stop auditioning. You start building. If the woman you’re becoming is ready to stop circling the same patterns and start choosing from power, watch the masterclass: Three Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men. I walk you through the Magnetic Connections Pathway — Presence, Agency, and Empowerment — so you can feel steady in your standards, anchored in your decisions, and calm in your relationships. The link is in the show notes. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    19 min
  6. 81: Whole Women Don’t Settle - Why You’re Still Negotiating What You Know Isn’t Enough

    FEB 24

    81: Whole Women Don’t Settle - Why You’re Still Negotiating What You Know Isn’t Enough

    Whole women don’t settle. Not because they don’t want love. Not because they’re bitter. Not because they’ve given up. They don’t settle because once you are whole, emotionally unavailable men stop being attractive. And that’s the shift no one talks about. This episode is about Wholeness — the kind that changes what you tolerate, what you’re drawn to, and who gets access to you. We talk about: Why emotionally unavailable men feel addictive when you’re fragmentedWhy they feel exhausting when you’re wholeThe quiet ways women over-function and explain behavior awayThe pain of realizing you deserve more than you’re receivingThe difference between potential and willingnessAnd what emotionally willing men actually look like in real lifeAn emotionally unavailable man wants access without depth. An emotionally willing man wants partnership. A whole woman knows the difference — and she stops negotiating it. This isn’t about becoming cold. It’s about becoming steady. It’s about being hopeful without being attached. It’s about being Single on Purpose instead of settling for emotional scarcity. It’s about becoming the woman who doesn’t need to be chosen to feel powerful. And here’s the part that matters: You don’t need a lot of men. You just need one who is emotionally willing. Until then? You keep living. You keep building. You stay whole. If you’re ready to step into that version of yourself, watch the masterclass: 3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men Because Wholeness isn’t about trying harder. It’s about becoming unavailable for what isn’t aligned. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    22 min
  7. 80: From People-Pleasing to Self-Leadership - Stop Fixing Men Who Won’t Show Up With Catherine Crestani

    FEB 16

    80: From People-Pleasing to Self-Leadership - Stop Fixing Men Who Won’t Show Up With Catherine Crestani

    If you’ve ever called yourself a “recovering people pleaser,” this episode is going to hit. People-pleasing doesn’t just show up in friendships or family dynamics. It shows up in who you date. It looks like:  Over-functioning. Over-giving. Seeing potential and trying to help him become it. Shrinking your preferences to keep the peace. Calling it loyalty when it’s actually self-abandonment.In this conversation, Catherine Crestani shares how she lost herself in marriage, in business, and in the identity of being the fixer — the one who holds everything together. And here’s the deeper truth: The way you tolerate misalignment in your work is often the same way you tolerate it in love. We talk about:  The fixer identity and how it forms Losing yourself in relationships without realizing it Shedding identities that no longer fit Saying no — even when there’s pushback Why emotionally willing men are drawn to women who have already chosen themselvesEmotionally unavailable men aren’t random. They’re aligned with the version of you that is still managing everyone. When you move from people-pleasing to self-leadership, your relationships change — because you change. This isn’t about fixing him. It’s about choosing yourself. Connect with Catherine Crestani: Website: https://willowhealing.org/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willowhealingsh Podcast - Willow Healing Matters: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/willow-healing-matters-podcast/id1760975061 Substack: https://willowhealing.substack.com/podcast Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    36 min
  8. 79: Stop Tolerating What Drains You - Why Peace Is Not Optional

    FEB 9

    79: Stop Tolerating What Drains You - Why Peace Is Not Optional

    You don’t need more insight. You need less tolerance. In this episode, Darla gets brutally honest about peace — not the performative version that looks good on the outside, but the kind that actually lets your nervous system settle and your life move forward. This is a conversation for women who have been staying because it’s doable. Staying because it’s not that bad. Staying because leaving feels harder than tolerating what’s draining them. We’re talking about emotionally unavailable men — the confusion, the half-connection, the waiting, the low-grade tension that slowly becomes normal. And we’re also talking about emotionally willing men — why peace is the filter that reveals the difference, and why so many women never get to experience that kind of connection because they’re still negotiating with what they already know doesn’t work. This episode weaves together real-life stories about relationships, family dynamics, holidays, motherhood, and the quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly managing emotional environments that aren’t aligned. This is not about fixing yourself. It’s about stopping self-abandonment. You’ll hear why: “Doable” keeps women tiredPeace exposes confusion, inconsistency, and half-connectionWaiting for later is how women stay stuckAnd why peace isn’t passive — it requires choosing differently, even when it’s uncomfortableIf you’re ready to stop tolerating what drains you and start building a life that can actually hold an emotionally willing partner, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Peace isn’t optional. And neither is the life you’re here to live. Connect with Darla Ridilla:  3 Keys to Magnetizing Emotionally Available Men masterclass: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/masterclass Book a Magnetic Connections Call: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/call Website: https://www.highvaluewoman.info Send me an email: highvaluewoman7@gmail.com Sign up for mailing list: https://www.highvaluewoman.info/newsletter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HighValueWoman-m7w LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/darla-ridilla-3179b110/

    24 min
4.4
out of 5
13 Ratings

About

This podcast is for women who are done asking the same question: Why do emotionally unavailable men keep showing up in my life? Hosted by Darla Ridilla, somatic and trauma-informed Relationship and Self-Leadership Coach, this podcast breaks down the pattern most women can feel but struggle to explain. The chemistry is there.The connection feels real.And yet the consistency, depth, and emotional presence never fully arrive. Each episode exposes the difference between emotionally unavailable men and emotionally willing men — and the subtle moments where women override themselves trying to make the connection work. Not through fixing yourself.Through changing how you relate. Here we talk about the moments most women minimize: The tightening in your jaw when he doesn’t follow through.The instinct to soften your needs so you don’t seem “too much.”The quiet decision to stay patient when your body already knows something is off. These moments aren’t small. They are the exact places where women disconnect from themselves and unintentionally keep the pattern alive. Through the Magnetic Connections Pathway — Presence, Agency, and Empowerment — Darla shows how women shift out of managing connection and start responding to reality instead of potential. Because the woman who magnetizes emotionally willing men isn’t performing for love. She’s choosing from clarity. You’re not asking for too much. You’ve just been accepting too little.

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