Story Matters Podcast

Ryan and Emily Baker
  • 5.0 (23)
  • Christianity
  • Weekly

In the Story Matters Podcast, Hosts Ryan and Emily Baker discuss life at the intersection of Theology and Psychology helping listeners to better grasp how their life stories have shaped them.

  1. 5h ago

    62. Good Toil in Every Season? (S5 E10 Paradox 6)

    We wrestle with the paradox of Ecclesiastes and the uncomfortable truth that we cannot control our lives, even though our choices and daily actions still matter. We talk about “toil,” seasons or times of our lives, and the freedom that comes when we trust God’s larger story without demanding immediate results.  • the central paradox of uncertainty alongside real significance  • eternity placed in the human heart yet the limits of human knowing  • why Ecclesiastes gets misread as pessimism or “nothing matters”  • how “toil” is beyond work - all of life, including relationships and healing  • releasing the demand that effort must guarantee an outcome  • a poem as wisdom for naming seasons and responding aptly  • how grief interrupts life and why naming the season matters   • living as mortal and immortal through union with Christ  • lament as a proper response that moves toward God  • resisting results-driven spirituality and choosing trust instead Send us Fan Mail

  2. Nov 3

    61. Q & A: Understanding our Story, Theology & Relationships (S5 E9)

    We take a quick break from Season 5's Paradox Series to answer six listener questions. We lay out the foundations of narrative-focused trauma care and why Story Work matters for Christian growth.  The Questions and their time stamps are: 1:23 I have a friend who has seen the impact “story work” has had on my life and yet at the same time is very resistant to the idea that Christians need to look at their past in order to grow in their faith? What is a starting point or what are some things I can say to my friend? 12:25 What would you say to someone whose identity is so tied to being successful, helpful or needed that they don’t know who they are when they aren’t doing something for others? 17:40 How do you distinguish between a genuine conviction from a belief that developed from shame or trauma. 26:05 What does it mean to honor the good in your family story while still being honest about the painful parts? 27:59 Why can receiving love, encouragement or affirmation be so much harder than giving it? 33:49 How can you tell whether you have actually processed a painful experience or simply learned to talk about it? Some things we end up discussing: • why personal testimony and questions often work better than arguments   • shalom as belovedness in Christ, shalom shattered, sought, restored   • sorting out truth from the internal tone of voice or accusation   • How purity-culture rules (or ANY rules) can distort the gospel  • why receiving affirmation can feel uncomfortable or even costly  • signs you have processed pain versus learned to perform a testimony  • the value of safe friends and leaders who are still doing their own work  If listening to this Q A provokes any questions for you, you can always shoot us an email or send us a message through the podcast app.  So please reach out to us if you would like to do work. Ryan@storymattersinitiative.com or Emily@storymattersinitiative.com Send us Fan Mail

  3. Oct 20

    60. Strive or Rest? (S5 E8 Paradox 5)

    The push to achieve can feel like obedience, and the pull to rest can feel like faith, but being called to both feels confusing.  We sit in the paradox of Christian contentment and righteous striving, and we talk about why one-sided advice and spiritual platitudes leave people stuck, ashamed, or exhausted. We ground the conversation in two popular verses by Paul from his letter to the Philippians, where he names a learned, practiced contentment in plenty and in hunger, and we connect it to the other side of the tension: straining forward, praying “your kingdom come,” and hungering and thirsting for righteousness. From money goals to packed schedules, from singleness to church leadership pressure, we explore how ambition and peace can each become a cover story for what’s happening underneath. Then we go beneath behavior into the body. We name hypervigilance, anxiety, shutdown, and the limbic reactions that can make rest feel unsafe or make striving feel unavoidable. We ask a counseling-style question that gets honest fast: what does it cost you to consider the other side? Finally, we offer a “human-sized” framework, drawing on circles of influence and concern, the Serenity Prayer’s wisdom, and the “already but not yet” tension of redemption and the kingdom of God. Send us Fan Mail

  4. Oct 13

    59. Are You Being Generous or A Good Steward? (S5 E7 Paradox 4)

    Generosity gets complicated fast when the need is real, the ask is specific, and the cost lands on your marriage, your family, or your mental and financial health. Ryan and Emily wrestle with a paradox many Christians feel: Jesus calls us to sacrificial giving, and wisdom literature warns us not to overextend, go into unwise debt, or enable someone else’s dysfunction. We walk through what we call “the bind,” that moment of ambivalence where both options feel true at the same time. We bring Scripture into the tension instead of using it to shut the conversation down, from Proverbs’ competing instructions to Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 8 about giving beyond your means while still giving according to what you actually have. We also pull in Galatians 6, where “bear one another’s burdens” sits right next to “each will have to bear his own load,” and we ask what that looks like in real decisions with money, time, and responsibility. Along the way, we share personal stories from our marriage and stories we’ve been entrusted with, including what happens when “generosity” spends someone else’s resources, or when spiritual language becomes a form of pressure and shame. We talk about being human-sized, resisting a savior complex, and finding a third way we call generous stewardship: open-handed love that stays rooted in wisdom, agency, and clear limits. If this conversation helps you name your own bind, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one situation right now where you need both generosity and a boundary? Send us Fan Mail

  5. Oct 6

    58. Called to Love: With Boundaries or By Remaining? (S5 E6 Paradox 3)

    Wise as serpents and innocent as doves: we explore why love gets confusing when Jesus calls us to be both at the same time. We sit with one of Jesus’ most challenging tensions and ask what that actually looks like when someone is undermining you, harming you, or simply wearing you down. Loving your enemies, honoring parents, forgiving again and again, avoiding toxic people, confronting sin, turning the other cheek. Scripture refuses to give us a simplistic script.  We talk through a pastor who’s told to go on a “love offensive” with divisive elders, and why that kind of counsel can land differently depending on your predispositions from your story. Then we move into the practical markers of a bind: non-negotiable language, anxiety, exhaustion, dread, anger, and the mental replay that will not stop.  We also unpack how our particular survival mechanisms: fight, flight, freeze, fawn lead us to baptize ours with Bible verses or biblical phrases as a cover. Say something! Walk away! Turn the Cheek! Don't let it bother you! Finally, we wrestle with what happens to the “other side” of the paradox after you make a choice. We argue that even when behaviorally you choose one path, spiritually you keep both values present: you can set boundaries while still honoring, create distance while still longing for reconciliation, or stay present while remaining honest about danger. If this gives you language for a relationship you’re carrying right now, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Send us Fan Mail

  6. Sep 29

    57. Is It Them or Is It Me? (S5 E5 Paradox 2)

    The quickest way to get stuck in healing is to force a simple answer onto a complex story. We keep meeting people who hesitate to look at childhood wounds because it feels like blaming parents, excusing bad choices, or losing agency. At the same time, we’ve also seen the “whiplash” where new awareness turns into contempt and everything becomes someone else’s fault. Neither path tells the whole truth, and both leave us trapped. We walk through a core paradox of trauma-informed Christian story work: things happened to us that should not have happened, and we also learned ways of surviving that can become harmful patterns later. You’ll hear us connect the language of protectors, coping mechanisms, and attachment theory with a thicker biblical understanding of sin as anything that is not the way it’s supposed to be. We name two common distortions, self-contempt and others’ contempt, and why both often chase certainty instead of wisdom. From there we move into the felt reality beneath the paradox: ambivalence, the push-pull of two emotions at once. We talk candidly about shame, the body, and why healing requires naming what we’d rather avoid, without ever confusing bodily responses with consent or responsibility for abuse.  We also offer practical questions that help you hold space for your own story and for others, without platitudes or quick fixes. Here are a series of questions we give as a framework of engaging stories with more strength:  1. So, what really happened?  2. What did it cost you?  3. How did you respond?  4. How did that response protect you?  5. What has that response become now in your adulthood?  6. And how are you now invited to live differently?  Understanding what these questions are unpacking AND the answers to them will be a healing process for any of our listeners. We hope these are helpful also for anyone in friendships, care-giving, ministry, or parenting. Send us Fan Mail

  7. Sep 21

    56. To Judge or Not To Judge (S5 E4 Paradox 1)

    “Don’t judge” sounds simple until someone gets hurt, a leader falls, or a friend drops a one-sided story in your lap. We wrestle with the real-world paradox Scripture puts in front of us: Jesus warns against judging others, and yet also says to “judge with right judgment” and Paul also talks about discernment inside the church. We need wisdom that can take-on complexity. We dig into the moment where judgment usually starts: information. Gossip, group chats, news clips, and even documentaries can quietly recruit us into a verdict before we’ve asked a single question. We continue the concept of Season 5 - the practical tool we call a “bind alert” the internal signal that you’re being positioned to take a side. From there we name the next step: choice awareness. Will I seek the other side of the story, set a boundary with the person talking, or pretend I’m neutral while my heart is already forming a sentence? It is so costly to judge rightly. Shame, belonging, and loyalty structures can make silence feel safer. We explore how our early stories shape whether we lean toward harsh judgment or total avoidance, and how “extending grace” can become enabling when harm has been afflicted. We close with Paul in 2 Timothy 4 as a startling picture of maturity: he names evil of someone by name, warns others, and still gives mercy for people who failed him. If this conversation helps you think more clearly, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it. Where do you most need wisdom right now: judging too quickly or refusing to judge at all? Send us Fan Mail

  8. Sep 15

    55. Feeling Stuck? A Conversation Worth Revisiting 30: Intensifying Your Binds! (S5 E3)

    We step back into an older conversation that sets the foundation for our Season 5 on Paradoxes, starting with how to recognize a bind when neither option feels like a true way out.  This is a re-release of Episode 30 "Intensifying Your Binds"  from our 4 part Series on Shame.  We use Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” as an image for how badly we want certainty. Pop culture turns the poem into a pep talk about taking the harder path, but the actual text is full of ambivalence, regret, and that haunting phrase “with a sigh.” We give practical thoughts about decision-making, nostalgia, and why suffering can make us second-guess everything. Instead of bungee-cording out of sadness with quick reassurance, we talk about intensifying the bind and staying with it long enough to find what’s underneath. For us, that leads straight into shame, feeling stuck, the longing for Eden, and the deep need for rescue. If this resonates, please share it with others and subscribe to help others find hope and healing! Send us Fan Mail

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5
out of 5
23 Ratings

About

In the Story Matters Podcast, Hosts Ryan and Emily Baker discuss life at the intersection of Theology and Psychology helping listeners to better grasp how their life stories have shaped them.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan and Emily Baker
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2026
  • Episodes
    62
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Story Matters Podcast
  • Show Website
    Story Matters Podcast

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