Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

Sarah Lowell Harmon

Welcome to Mothering Ourselves Mindfully with me, Sarah Harmon. I am the founder, head teacher, and forever student at The School of MOM. I invite you to take a walk with me to hear insights, inspiration, and practical tools to help you navigate the everyday challenges of raising kids while nurturing your own well-being. Whether you’re deep in the trenches of parenting or looking for a moment of calm amidst the chaos, this podcast is your space for reflection, affirmation, and growth. Let's create new intergenerational patterns for ourselves AND our kids together.

  1. 1d ago

    108. The "If Only..." trap

    If only my partner were more supportive. If only I had a mom or mother-in-law who could help. If only my kids were different. Then I’d finally feel the way I want to feel. In this episode, recorded on the trail the day before we closed the doors to REWIRE, I talk about the “if only” trap. It’s one of the biggest barriers I see to real change in mothers. I share why the problem you think you have is hardly ever the whole problem. I tell the story of two women with completely different partners who were carrying the exact same guilt. And I share the three words my dad wrote on a Post-it that changed how I see my life. Key Points The “if only” trap: waiting for a partner, a mother, a job or our kids to change before we let ourselves feel betterWhy we give outside circumstances way too much credit, both as the problem and as the solutionExhibit A, partners: one mom resents a husband who guilts her about going away, while another feels riddled with guilt even though her husband packs her ski bag. Different partners, same patterning underneathHow it takes one person to change the dance, and why the people around us often shift once we stop relying on them for what we’re seekingExhibit B, time and help: the mom without childcare and the mom with “help” that comes with opinions on how she should spend her time. Different circumstances, same struggleHow victimhood can quietly become a baseline, and why I watch for my own pull toward “ugh” and blame“Own your experience”: what my dad wrote on a Post-it during my sophomore slump in collegeThe three things that change when we take ownership: our lens, how we advocate for ourselves, and the bigger collective feminine journey of no longer having our experience dictated by someone elseA real-life example: asking my sister-in-law for a power walk instead of waiting for permission Quotes “The problem that you think you have is hardly the problem that you actually have.”“Two totally different partners, same patterning running behind the scenes.”“It takes one person in a dance to change the dance.”“If we wait for external things or people to change, we will be waiting a long time to feel the way that we wanna feel.”“Own your experience.”“You don’t need to give me permission anymore.”“Let’s get out of victimhood together.” Resources Mentioned REWIRE is closed for this cohort, but it will open again. Join the waitlist: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistLearn more about REWIRE: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewireSend me a voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom What’s Coming Next While our first REWIRE cohort gets underway, I’ll keep bringing you what we’re working on inside: noticing the patterns that are quietly running the show, and taking ownership of the one thing we can actually change, which is ourselves. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  2. Oct 12

    107. REWIRE questions answered

    Registration for REWIRE closes October 15th, so this is the last episode before the doors close. I’m answering the questions that are probably running through your mind. What does the program actually involve? How is it different from all the therapy and personal growth work you’ve already done? Can you really change a lifelong pattern in seven weeks? How much time will it take? And what are these therapy balls I’m sending you? I’m also asking you to get honest about what’s behind your “maybe later.” Is it a clear, grounded “not right now,” or is it the familiar pattern of putting yourself at the bottom of the list? Key Points What REWIRE involves: seven live calls (or replays), a welcome gift of Yoga Tune Up therapy balls, and a community space where the real work happensThe “Life Lab”: REWIRE isn’t one more thing to add to your plate. You bring what we’re learning into the life you’re already livingWhy every share in the community space helps someone else, and how I bring common themes from there into our live callsHow REWIRE is different if you’ve already done a lot of therapy or personal growth: insight alone doesn’t change how you feel, and this is where psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion, parts work, nervous system healing and yoga come togetherWhy the goal isn’t to “fix” yourself or switch a pattern off for good. These patterns started as survival strategies for a reasonWhat seven weeks actually gives you: working with one pattern in the body, in real time, plus a process you can keep using long after we finishGetting curious about the word “justify”: the rules behind the curtain about money, worth, and what counts as necessary versus indulgentChoosing the “right” pattern to bring (spoiler: there’s no wrong one, and the fear of choosing wrong is a pattern too)Why this work has everything and nothing to do with parenting. Changing what’s happening in you changes what your kids experience with youThe honest truth about time and effort: you can’t get strong if you don’t lift the weightWhy I stopped giving unlimited replay access (and why programs that take access away are the only ones I’ve ever finished)My path from Bikram to Vinyasa to therapy balls, and why the balls gave me a way into my body that movement couldn’t Quotes “It’s living your life that is what you need to do during these seven weeks.” “Every single time you share, it benefits someone else.” “Spoiler alert: you don’t actually want to completely turn those patterns off. They developed as survival strategies for a reason.” “The goal isn’t to leave REWIRE having permanently fixed yourself. That’s actually part of the pattern that we will be rewiring together.” “This work has everything and nothing to do with parenting.” “When it comes to rewiring the human body, we cannot shortcut.” “Is this a very clear, grounded ‘not right now,’ or is this a familiar pattern of putting yourself and the things that matter to you at the bottom of the list?” “I would not want you to sign up out of panic.” Resources Mentioned REWIRE: What You Keep Repeating. Registration closes October 15th. The community space opens a week before we start, and the first live call is Tuesday, October 27th at 1:00 PM Eastern. That’s seven weekly calls, ending December 8th, with replay access through the end of January. Financial support is available, no questions asked. Learn more HERE: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewireRelated episodes: Let’s Rewire Money and Let’s Rewire TimeREWIRE FAQ: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewire#faqSend Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom What’s Coming Next We start October 27th, and registration closes on the 15th. If you’ve been on the fence, take a moment to notice what’s really driving the hesitation, and trust your own discernment. If there’s a logistics question I didn’t cover, send it my way. I hope to see you inside. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  3. Oct 11

    106. What are we rewiring FOR?

    This episode is about something that keeps coming up with women joining Rewire: “I don’t know which pattern to choose.” That question is a pattern too. In this episode I look at how the way we approach the idea of rewiring can show us what most needs rewiring: the need to get it right, self-doubt, time scarcity, money rules, and the fear that we won’t follow through. Then I ask a bigger question. What are you rewiring for? Key Points Why “What’s the right pattern to pick?” is itself one of the most important patterns to noticeSome of the most common patterns women are bringing to Rewire: anxiety, self-criticism, resisting this stage of life, and avoiding big emotionsHow the “am I doing it right?” loop spreads into motherhood, parenting, perimenopause, and life as a wholeHow even reading about a program can show you your patterns around time, money, and self-trust“It’s not about the content, it’s about the process”: what Lynn Lyons’ teaching on anxiety means for rewiring any patternWhy Rewire is not for beginners. It’s a master’s-level, roll-your-sleeves-up space for women who already have some self-awarenessThe rare kind of community where women skip the small talk and go straight to real, soul-level conversationThe “I’ll do it later” pattern: is now really a bad time, or is there never a good time to put yourself first?What I’m rewiring in real time: moving from worst-case thinking toward expecting the best possible outcomeWhy I’d secretly call the program “Rewire for Flourishing,” and how flourishing means feeling all of it, not being happy all the timeThe electrical metaphor: clearing out old, tangled wiring so you can put in a new circuit“Consider it done”: picturing yourself on the other side of your rewiring Quotes “If we zoom out and look at ourselves contemplating the pattern we’re going to pick, that might be the most important pattern of all.” “It’s not about the content, it’s about the process. Anxiety will always find something to be anxious about, because it’s a pattern in you.” “Is it because now really isn’t a good time, or is it because there’s never a good time to put yourself first?” “Flourish does not mean you’re happy all the time. Flourish means you’re angry and you’re sad, but you’re feeling it, you’re trusting it, and you’re embracing your full experience as a human being.” “What if this is the best thing I ever did? What if I get exactly what I need out of it?” “Consider it done. Your rewiring is inevitable, because you’re taking steps to be around people who are in process with you.” Resources Mentioned REWIRE: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewireBook a call to see if Rewire is the right fit: https://paperbell.me/theschoolofmomMessage me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahlowellharmon/Lynn Lyons’ work on anxiety, “It’s not about the content, it’s about the process” (also discussed in my earlier anxiety episode): https://www.lynnlyons.com/Send Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom What’s Coming Next Rewire is starting soon. Whether you join this round or a later one, notice what comes up for you as you think about it, and get curious about the pattern behind it. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  4. Oct 8

    105. Let's REWIRE...Money

    Money is rarely just about money. In the final episode of the Let's REWIRE series, after time, our bodies and anxiety, we're taking on one of the most loaded patterns of all. I share why I believe the mother wound and the money wound are the same wound, why your "money mindset" actually starts in your body, and why knowing a belief isn't the same as changing it. We look at the money messages you inherited, how they're tied to your earliest experiences of needing and receiving, and what relationship with money you want to model for your daughter. Key Points What comes up in your body when you think about spending, receiving, charging for your work, or buying something just because you want itWhy money brings up safety, worth, scarcity, control, deserving and trust all at onceWhy your money mindset comes from your body set, meaning what's happening in your nervous systemThe mother wound and the money wound: how your first caregiving relationship shaped what you expect around needs, receiving, dependence and worthinessReflection questions: Was it safe to need something? Could you receive without earning it? Did you have to be easy, helpful or low-maintenance to be cared for?The money phrases you grew up with ("Money doesn't grow on trees," "Don't depend on anyone financially") and the patterns you watched play outThe collective piece: women haven't been allowed their own bank accounts for very long, so this patterning runs through our lineages and through women as a wholeWhy you can know you can afford something and still feel unsafe spending itThe question to ask next: What relationship with money do I want to practice, and to model for my daughter?How REWIRE touches your relationship with money even if money isn't the pattern you bring, because healing one pattern affects the whole nervous system Quotes "Money is rarely just about money." "Our mindset comes from our body set." "I often say that the mother wound is synonymous with the money wound." "You can logically know that you can afford something, but your body feels unsafe spending it." "Knowing the money belief isn't the same as changing the pattern." "If it's not one thing, it's your mother." "The whole world would change if women, daughters, mothers everywhere could rewire their relationship with money." Resources Mentioned REWIRE: What You Keep Repeating, a seven-week group program. Enrollment is open through October 15th, and we start October 27th: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewireCatch up on the full Let's REWIRE series: time, the body, and anxietySend Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmom What's Coming Next That wraps the Let's REWIRE series. If something in these four episodes hit home, this is your invitation to join us inside REWIRE before doors close on October 15th. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  5. Oct 1

    104. Let's REWIRE...Our relationship with our body.

    In the third episode of our Let's REWIRE series, I'm taking on the loaded topic of our relationship with our bodies. I'm recording on day two of my cycle, low energy and all, and I start by asking you to check your "relationship status" with your body. Then I look at how that status got programmed: through what our mothers modeled, the moments that stuck with us, and a culture with very loud opinions about women's bodies. I share parts of my own story, from my grandmother's first words at the door to being sent to ride the bike at gymnastics. I also talk about how I've rewired my way to a relationship built on respect, and why what we model for our daughters matters far more than anything we say. Key Points A three-part reflection to start: What's your current relationship status with your body? What relationship do you want your daughter to have with hers? And what was modeled for you in your mom's relationship with her body?Why so few mothers I meet describe their relationship with their body as healthy. It's much more often "complicated," critical, frustrated or resistant.How your relationship with your body today comes from programming you took in as a kid, before you had any say in itMy story: my grandmother greeting me with "Oh, you're fat," being one of two girls made to ride the bike after competitive gymnastics practice, and years of journals full of discomfort in my own skinWhere I am now at 44, in perimenopause and post-kids: a relationship built on respect, trust and appreciation, and how that came from rewiringWhy our kids co-regulate to what we embody. My physical reaction when my girls ask "Mom, are you pregnant?" says more than my words ever could.Why the body is our only guaranteed, forever home, and how that inspired the name change from the School of MOM to the Home of MOMThe period "talk" I got (a box of Tampax and a closed door), and how learning about cyclical living changed how I see the female bodyBeing honest about limits: even with the healthiest modeling at home, culture and social media will still reach our kids. We can still make what they see at home the stronger programming.The dual process of REWIRE: we rewire away from the old pattern and rewire for respect, trust, love, appreciation and confidence Quotes "Your relationship with your body today is a product of that programming that has been taught to you back when there was no consent available to you." "This pervasive programming around self-hate, self-criticism, resistance with our bodies, not trusting them, judging them, not feeling safe in them is reprogrammable." "My body and what I model and what I embody is going to be… significantly louder than anything that comes out of my mouth." "It is the only guaranteed relationship we have while we are alive on this planet. It is our only and forever home." "We are given this body… What we do have choice with is how we decide to be in relationship with it." "It is the biggest honor of my lifetime to rewire my relationship with my body, not only for me, but for the lineage of my family." Resources Mentioned Learn more about REWIRE: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewireEarlier Let's REWIRE episodes: our relationship with time and our relationship with anxietyPrevious episodes on cyclical living: SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0p0KL9s8pTo2OkDmgTLewy?si=175813f711724c5f or APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/18-embracing-your-timeline-not-the-calendars/id1771757923?i=1000682124913Send me a voice note: Send Sarah your voice note right HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomGet on our WAITLIST to hear what's changed with our upcoming program: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistSelf-awareness Trap: https://theschoolofmom.com/trapNot sure where to start? Take the Discover Your Dominant Inner Voice Quiz: https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz What's Coming Next In the next (and likely final) episode of the Let's REWIRE series, we're diving into our relationship with money. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  6. Sep 29

    103. Let's REWIRE...Anxiety

    In this second episode of the Let's REWIRE miniseries, I'm talking about one of my favorite topics: anxiety. What if anxiety isn't the enemy? I explain why we don't want to get rid of anxiety, why I actually worry more about people who have none, and how to tell the difference between anxiety that keeps you safe and anxiety that keeps you from living. I also share the Yale study that shows how much our own relationship with anxiety shapes our kids, a personal story about the dead trees in our yard, and the timely message about playfulness from an ancestor session that changed how I think about rumination. Key Points The anxiety pattern: thought loops, catastrophizing, rumination, and trying to get a certainty we'll probably never getWhy anxiety thinks it's being responsible, and thinks you're irresponsible if you don't play out every outcomeAnxiety is here on purpose. We wouldn't be alive without our ancestors' anxietyWhy I'm done arguing about whether anxiety is "technically" an emotion, because it's happening in our bodies either wayHow anxiety lives in the sympathetic nervous system, and why staying stuck there wears us downThe close relationship between anxiety, perfectionism, and the shame underneath them"We work locally and we act globally": when we work with one pattern, we work with manyYou're not causing your daughter's anxiety. She was born with a nervous system. What you model is how you relate to itThe Yale SPACE study: training only the parents worked just as well as CBT for the anxious childAnxiety thrives on avoidance, and why over-accommodating our kids' anxiety backfiresAnxiety means you care about something. Where is it pointing you?Turning anxiety into purpose and action (like finally cutting down the dead branches over our yard)The two parts of the REWIRE process: getting to know and tending the pattern, and strengthening what lives on the other side of itWhy playfulness lives in a state where anxiety can't, and why we turn up the volume on one and turn down the other Quotes "What if anxiety isn't the enemy?" "We want to have enough anxiety online to keep us alive, but not to keep us from living." "You are not causing your daughter's anxiety, because she was born with a nervous system. Don't give yourself that much credit, honestly." "Helping our children handle their anxiety differently begins with changing what we do when their anxiety activates us." "I worry more about the people that have no anxiety." "When you awaken playfulness, the ruminating will fall away." "The goal isn't to eradicate anxiety. It is to understand the role anxiety plays, where it lives in your nervous system, and how we can use it for good." Resources Mentioned REWIRE: What You Keep Repeating, my seven-week program starting in late October 2026: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewireAnxious Kids, Anxious Parents by Lynn Lyons: https://www.lynnlyons.com/anxious-kids-child-anxiety/The Yale SPACE study (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions): https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment-guide/space/Yoga Tune Up therapy balls (part of the REWIRE welcome gift)Episode 102: Let's REWIRE... Time: SPOTIFY or APPLE PodcastsSend me a voice note: Send Sarah your voice note right HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomGet on our WAITLIST to hear what's changed with our upcoming program: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistSelf-awareness Trap: https://theschoolofmom.com/trapNot sure where to start? Take the Discover Your Dominant Inner Voice Quiz: https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz What's Coming Next The Let's REWIRE miniseries continues with our relationship with our bodies. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  7. Sep 24

    102. Let's REWIRE...Time

    “I don't have time. There's never enough time. I'm always behind.” If any of that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. I'm kicking off a new podcast miniseries called Let's Rewire, where we're digging into the hot-button patterns so many of us as mothers are desperate to change — starting with the big one: time. This series is launching right alongside open enrollment for the very first cohort of REWIRE, our seven-week life lab designed to help you close the gap between the mom you know you want to be and actually being her. Because here's the truth I keep coming back to — our daughters aren't inheriting our intentions. They're not inheriting what we know we should do or wish we could do. They're inheriting what we model and embody. And so much of that modeling happens below the level of words. In this episode, I talk about: Why time is at the forefront of almost every conversation I have with moms — and why "I don't have time" is so often really about anxiety, resentment, or self-abandonment in disguiseThe research on communication that stopped me in my tracks: 55% of our impact is body language, 38% is tone, and only 7% is actually our words — which means our nervous system state is doing most of the talking, especially with our kidsThe difference between a perceived lack of time and a real lack of time, and why looking at your screen time is such an uncomfortable (and clarifying) place to startMy own inner "Polly" — my type-A inner planner — and how getting to know the parts of us that manage time can shift us out of victimhood and into ownershipWhy "when I slow down, time slows down" isn't just a nice line, and how our worth-through-busyness programming keeps us stuckWhat actually happens when women are given a full free day (spoiler: it's rarely peaceful at first) and what that reveals about our relationship with restHow to start rewiring this pattern — by turning toward what your nervous system is asking for, instead of trying to white-knuckle your way to more hours A line I keep coming back to: "Our nervous system creates the lens in which we see the world." Same calendar, same to-do list — completely different experience depending on the state we're viewing it from. If you're feeling time scarcity on the daily, I want you to bring that pattern into Rewire with us. That's exactly what this seven-week life lab is for. Resources Mentioned Learn more and enroll HERE: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewire-waitlistSend me a voice note: Send Sarah your voice note right HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomGet on our WAITLIST to hear what's changed with our upcoming program: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistSelf-awareness Trap: https://theschoolofmom.com/trapNot sure where to start? Take the Discover Your Dominant Inner Voice Quiz: https://theschoolofmom.com/quiz What's Coming Next Next up in the "Let's REWIRE" miniseries, we'll dig into another hot pattern moms bring into this work. If time scarcity is a pattern that's alive for you right now, that's exactly what we want you to bring into the Life Lab — theschoolofmom.com/rewire. The time is now. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

  8. Sep 17

    101. Introducing... REWIRE!

    In this episode, I'm finally ready to talk about the big thing that's been cooking behind the scenes: our waitlist doors for REWIRE are opening, and I'm walking you through exactly what this seven-week life lab is and why it's the next evolution of our Mothering Ourselves Mindfully work. I share the backstory on how this program came to be, why insight alone never changes anything, and how you can bring your own pattern — whatever it is — into this process with us starting October 27th. Key Points The backstory: this program started as a general Mothering Ourselves Mindfully waitlist and has evolved into REWIRE, a seven-week life lab, as part of the shift from the School of MOM to the Home of MOMWhy the only thing we can actually change right now, in the middle of so much collective overwhelm, is ourselvesWhy REWIRE is a "life lab" and not another course to half-consume — closing the gap between insight and integrationHow to pick one pattern to bring to the program — body image, anxious rumination, exhaustion and not resting, reactivity with a partner, defensiveness with a mother or mother-in-law, the "A+ student" need to do it perfectlyThe idea of content vs. process (borrowed from therapist Lynn Lyons): it doesn't matter what your specific pattern is, because the process of rewiring is the same for all of usWhy this work happens in the body and nervous system first, not just cognitively — and why talking about triggers isn't the same as rewiring them in real timeWhat the seven weeks actually look like: one live call a week (Tuesdays at 1pm Eastern, starting October 27th) plus an ongoing community space between callsWaitlist bonuses: $100 off, plus two sets of yoga tune-up therapy balls and a cell phone sleeping bag for everyone who joins the waitlist before doors open to the general community Quotes "We cannot give out what we can't give in." "The only thing that we know we can change is ourselves." "Insight is not the same as integration and action." "Your life is your laboratory." "When you learn this skill... you have the skill to be able to apply it to any other pattern." Resources Mentioned Join the REWIRE waitlist for $100 off + a bonus cell phone sleeping bag: https://theschoolofmom.com/rewire-waitlistFAQs on the REWIRE page — including "can I actually change a lifelong pattern in seven weeks?" and "what kind of pattern should I bring?"REWIRE begins Tuesday, October 27th, weekly at 1pm EasternSend me a voice note: Send Sarah your voice note right HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomGet on our WAITLIST to hear what's changed with our upcoming program: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlistSelf-awareness Trap: https://theschoolofmom.com/trap What's Coming Next Over the next few weeks I'll be sharing more about REWIRE before doors open to the wider community. If you're on the fence, get on the waitlist now to lock in the lowest price this program will ever be and grab your welcome gift before everyone else gets access. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes! www.theschoolofmom.com Instagram @the.schoolofmom Book a breakthrough Call

5
out of 5
22 Ratings

About

Welcome to Mothering Ourselves Mindfully with me, Sarah Harmon. I am the founder, head teacher, and forever student at The School of MOM. I invite you to take a walk with me to hear insights, inspiration, and practical tools to help you navigate the everyday challenges of raising kids while nurturing your own well-being. Whether you’re deep in the trenches of parenting or looking for a moment of calm amidst the chaos, this podcast is your space for reflection, affirmation, and growth. Let's create new intergenerational patterns for ourselves AND our kids together.

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