Who Do You Think You Are Talking To Podcast

Jenny Maxwell
  • 5.0 (10)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Hey, I'm Jenny, and if you're stuck in the cycle of overthinking, shutting down, snapping at people you love, or crying at work (again), Who Do You Think You Are Talking To is for you. This is the podcast for people who want to stop reacting on autopilot and start responding with emotional intelligence, especially in tough conversations. You'll learn how to: - manage emotional triggers in real-time - calm your nervous system when you're overwhelmed - stop spiralling after conflict or silence - speak with clarity and confidence—even when it's hard - hold boundaries without over-explaining - repair relationships without losing yourself Whether you freeze, explode, or go into full people-pleasing mode when things get tense, this show will help you feel more grounded, in control, and connected, to yourself and to the people who matter. Every episode offers honest insights, practical strategies, and tools for communicating under pressure, building emotional resilience, and actually enjoying the relationships in your life. If you're ready to change how you show up in conversations, from your partner, to your boss, to your own inner critic, hit follow now so you never miss an episode. Let's take the shame out of speaking up and give you the tools to talk like the grounded, clear, powerful person you already are.

  1. 1d ago

    I Did It By Myself and That's Not The Sad Part

    I heaved a mini fridge out of the car by myself, stopped an argument with one calm sentence, and got a text from my son that stopped me in my tracks. This is what it looks like when you've done enough work on yourself that the hard things stop feeling like they're happening to you and start showing up as proof of something inside you. Episode Description A couple of Sundays ago I moved my youngest, Danny, into his college dorm in Chicago. All by myself. And I want to tell you the real version of that day, not the "oh Jenny, that must have been so hard" version. The mini fridge I heaved out of the car on my own. The Swiffer request I absolutely did not see coming. The one calm sentence that stopped an argument before it even started. The text from my older son Jonah that made me stop and get a little choked up. And then the Monday after, when it all caught up with me and I let it. I'm also giving you this week's action step, something I actually used that day and the day after, when things started to feel hard. And near the end I want to ask you something I'm genuinely curious about, because it's shaping a little thing I'm building right now that I think some of you might need. What you will learn - The difference between hard things happening to you and hard things proving something in you - My go-to 5-5-7 breathing technique for calming my nervous system in the moment (inhale for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 7) - How one calm sentence - "I'm not doing this" - set a boundary and stopped a fight before it started - The pattern interrupters I use when I catch myself spiralling: "stop it, Jen" and "this is happening" - Why I let the hard feelings bubble up instead of pushing them down or performing "I'm okay" - Choosing your hard, because life is hard either way, so it's really just a question of which hard you pick - This week's action step: finding your own phrase to interrupt the spiral before it takes hold Resources If you enjoy these conversations, I send an email every Sunday where I share a little more,some of what I'm learning, what I'm thinking about and things I don't always get to talk about here.  https://dashboard.mailerlite.com/forms/816991/142538089324086821/share Connect With Me - Email me: jenny@jennymcoaching.com - Instagram: @jennymcoaching - LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching If you're still figuring out your own version of "stop it, Jen," send me a message. I'll help you find it.   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    I Did It By Myself and That's Not The Sad Part

  2. Sep 2

    Always available? This is what it's costing you.

    What if being the person who is always available isn't making you more professional; it's actually teaching clients and colleagues to expect constant access to you? Answering emails at night. Responding to messages during dinner. Saying yes before you've even thought about whether you have the time or energy. These habits can look like dedication and reliability. But over time, they can create unhealthy expectations, blurred professional boundaries, resentment and exhaustion. In this episode, I'm talking about how the patterns you repeat at work quietly teach other people how to treat your time — and how to reset those expectations without becoming difficult, unreliable or creating unnecessary drama. WORK WITH ME If you recognise yourself in this episode - knowing a pattern isn't working but still finding it incredibly difficult to change - this is exactly the kind of work I do with my clients. I help people understand what's driving the automatic yes, the over-responsibility and the pressure to keep everyone happy, and then change those patterns in a way that feels calm, practical and sustainable. Ready to change how you're showing up at work and in your relationships? → Your First Step to Change: https://calendly.com/jennymcoaching/initial-call?month=2026-08   If you run a business or lead a team, you are constantly teaching the people around you what they can expect from you — often without realising it. Every midnight email you answer, every request you immediately agree to and every problem you automatically take responsibility for helps establish a pattern. In this episode, I share the story of a client who felt intense pressure to respond to messages immediately. Nobody had actually demanded instant access to her. But she had become so accustomed to being responsive that waiting felt risky. What if a client thought she was ignoring them? What if she lost an opportunity? What if people stopped seeing her as reliable? So she kept responding. At 7pm. At 10pm. At weekends. Sometimes during dinner. And without meaning to, she taught her clients that she was always available. We worked on something surprisingly simple: noticing the urge to respond before acting on it and asking, "Do I actually want to respond right now?" Sometimes the answer was yes. Sometimes it was no. And when she started waiting until morning, something important happened: nothing fell apart. She didn't lose clients or opportunities. Instead, she became less resentful, less exhausted and more in control of her own time and energy. That's what this episode is really about: recognising the professional patterns you may have accidentally created and learning how to establish healthier boundaries at work without a dramatic confrontation. Because being available 24/7 isn't the same thing as being professional. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE → How your everyday behaviour teaches clients and colleagues what they can expect from you → Why answering emails and messages immediately can create an expectation of constant availability → The fear that can sit underneath overgiving, overworking and instant responses → Why changing an established professional pattern can initially feel risky → The simple question that can interrupt your automatic urge to respond → Why stronger boundaries can actually make you more professional, not less → How to reset client and workplace expectations gradually without a big confrontation → What happens when your automatic "yes" becomes your default response → How to identify one professional pattern that is currently costing you time, energy or peace Resources Free Video Guide: How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Or contact me directly - Email: jenny@jennymcoaching.com Connect with Jenny Instagram: @JennyMCoaching LinkedIn: Jenny Maxwell Coaching This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    Always available? This is what it's costing you.

  3. Aug 26

    They learned it from you

    What if the reason someone keeps pushing your boundaries is because, without realising it, you've taught them that pushing works? Every time you give in to keep the peace, stay quiet instead of speaking up, or say yes when you really want to say no, you're communicating something about how you're willing to be treated. The good news? You can teach people something different. In this episode, I'm talking about boundaries, people-pleasing, standing up for yourself and changing unhealthy relationship patterns — particularly the ones that have been playing out for so long they simply feel normal. I share the story of a client who realised that the people around him had learned they could keep pushing because eventually, he would give in. Not because he was weak, but because keeping the peace had become his automatic response. That realisation changed something. Because once you recognise the part you're playing in a relationship dynamic, you also recognise that you have the power to change it. We'll look at what happens when you begin setting boundaries with people who aren't used to hearing no, why they may initially push back harder, and how to hold your ground **calmly, clearly and without creating unnecessary drama**. And there's another layer to this: the people around you are watching how you handle these situations too. Your children, family, friends and colleagues can learn from what you accept — but they can also learn from watching you speak up for yourself. What You'll Learn In this episode, you'll discover:  -   -  How you may unknowingly be teaching people how to treat you -  Why giving in to avoid conflict can create unhealthy relationship patterns -  The difference between keeping the peace and giving away your voice -  Why setting a new boundary can feel uncomfortable at first -  What to expect when someone is used to you always giving in -  How to stand your ground without arguing, fighting or creating drama -  Why a simple sentence like "That won't work for me. What are our options?" can begin changing a long-standing dynamic -  How your behaviour can model healthy boundaries for your children and the people around you -  Why awareness of your own behaviour is the first step towards changing a relationship pattern Remember  You may have spent years teaching someone that you'll eventually give in. That doesn't mean the pattern has to continue. You can start teaching a different lesson with one small moment: speaking up instead of staying silent, holding your ground instead of automatically giving in, or saying: "That won't work for me. What are our options?" You don't need a huge confrontation or a complete overhaul of your relationships. One calm, clear boundary at a time is enough to start changing the pattern.   Resources Free Video Guide: How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Or contact me directly - Email: jenny@jennymcoaching.com   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    They learned it from you

  4. Aug 19

    You're not easy going. You're becoming invisible

    How often do you say "I don't mind," "it is what it is," or "don't worry, I'll handle it" when that's not actually what you mean? These everyday phrases can sound easygoing, flexible and completely harmless. But sometimes they're doing something else entirely: helping us avoid expressing what we really want, how we really feel or what we actually need. In this episode, I'm unpacking the hidden language of people-pleasing — and what can change when you stop disappearing behind comfortable phrases and start using your voice.   For years, I thought saying "I don't mind, you decide" meant I was easygoing and flexible. What I eventually realised was that easygoing and invisible had started to become the same thing. When we constantly put other people's preferences ahead of our own, avoid difficult conversations or keep our feelings to ourselves because we're afraid of creating conflict, we're not just teaching other people that our needs don't matter. We can start teaching ourselves the same thing. In this episode, I'm breaking down eight common phrases we use when we're avoiding saying what we really mean — from "I don't mind" and "it is what it is" to "I have a lot on my plate" and "living the dream." We'll look at what might really be sitting underneath those words, why our brains can treat uncomfortable conversations like danger, and how avoiding conflict can leave us feeling unheard, resentful and stuck. I'll also share a simple way to start expressing your preferences without feeling demanding or difficult, plus one question you can ask yourself whenever you notice that you're about to default to one of these phrases. Because being clear about what you want and need doesn't make you difficult. It makes you visible. What You Will Learn In this episode, I explore:   -  Why saying "I don't mind" can sometimes be a form of people pleasing rather than flexibility -  How repeatedly ignoring your preferences can contribute to feeling invisible or resentful -  The eight everyday phrases that can signal you're avoiding a difficult or uncomfortable conversation -  What phrases like **"it is what it is," "I have a lot on my plate,"** and **"I'll handle it myself"** may actually be communicating -  Why both men and women can fall into patterns of avoiding preferences, needs and conflict -  How to express what you want while still being flexible and collaborative -  Why your brain can interpret emotional discomfort as danger -  The difference between avoiding a conversation and avoiding the feelings that conversation might create -  How unspoken needs and feelings can affect relationships, families and workplaces -  A simple question to help you recognise what you're actually trying not to say -  Why awareness is the first step towards changing people-pleasing and communication patterns -  How one honest sentence can open a conversation you've been avoiding Remember This week, I want you to notice the phrases you automatically reach for. Maybe it's "I don't mind." Maybe it's "It is what it is." Maybe it's "I'm fine," "I've just got a lot on," or "Don't worry, I'll do it." You don't even have to change what you say yet. Just notice it. And when you catch yourself, ask: What am I actually trying not to say right now? That awareness matters. Because being clear doesn't make you difficult — it makes you visible. You have preferences. You have feelings. You have needs. And you have a voice that deserves to be heard. Every time you choose the honest phrase instead of the comfortable deflection, you're practising believing that what you have to say is worth saying. And remember: somebody somewhere is following your lead, so make sure you're leading them somewhere worth following.   Resources Mentioned Free Video Guide: How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Or contact me directly - Email: jenny@jennymcoaching.com   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    You're not easy going. You're becoming invisible

  5. Aug 12

    You've Been Running the Wrong Calculation

    What if the conversation you've been avoiding isn't going to cost you what you're afraid of losing - but could actually give you something you've been missing? When we're unhappy in a relationship, job, friendship or family dynamic, our brains tend to calculate one thing: what could I lose if I make a change? But there's another calculation we rarely make: what could I gain? In this episode, I'm exploring why we naturally focus on what we might lose when we're facing a difficult conversation or big decision and what can change when we start looking at what we might gain instead. I talk about loss aversion, the habit of rehearsing worst-case scenarios, and why the conversations we avoid can become far bigger and scarier in our heads than they are in reality. I also share the story of a coaching client who was rebuilding her life after the breakdown of her marriage. By changing the questions she was asking herself, she moved from feeling powerless and uncertain to creating a life she genuinely felt excited about. If there's a conversation you've been avoiding, a change you're afraid to make, or a situation you know isn't working anymore, I want you to try a different calculation: What might become possible if this actually goes well? What You'll Learn * Why your brain naturally focuses more on potential loss than potential gain * What loss aversion is and how it can keep you stuck * Why we repeatedly rehearse difficult conversations going badly * How imagining a different outcome can change the decisions you make * Why avoiding a difficult conversation can have a cost of its own * How asking "What might I gain?" can shift you from feeling powerless to taking action * Why asking for what you need is an important part of building confidence and self-worth * How having the conversation can change not only your circumstances, but your relationship with yourself Resources Mentioned Free Video Guide: How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Or contact me directly - Email: jenny@jennymcoaching.com Don't forget to listen to episode 87 and episode 88 to complete this trilogy.   Final Thought This week, I want you to ask yourself one question: What is one thing I might gain that I haven't allowed myself to imagine yet? Because the gain isn't only what might happen on the other side of the conversation. The gain is also who you become by having it. Every time you say the true thing calmly, clearly and confidently, you practise believing that what you have to say matters. Every time you ask for what you need, you practise believing you deserve to ask for it. Maybe you've spent long enough rehearsing everything that could go wrong. What if, just this once, you gave yourself permission to imagine what could go right?   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    You've Been Running the Wrong Calculation

  6. Aug 5

    The Real Reason You Haven't Left Yet

    Why haven't you left yet? If you've ever found yourself staying in a relationship, job, friendship or family dynamic that no longer feels right, you're not alone. In this episode, I explore the hidden psychology behind why so many of us stay in situations that drain our energy, confidence and peace. Often, it's not because we truly want to stay, it's because fear, familiarity, guilt or self-doubt quietly convince us that leaving isn't an option. Together we'll unpack the five most common reasons people stay stuck, how these patterns show up in everyday life, and the one question that can help you move from surviving to making conscious choices that align with the life you actually want. Whether you're avoiding a difficult conversation, questioning a relationship, or feeling trapped in a role that no longer fits, this episode will help you understand what's really keeping you there—and what to do next. In this episode, you'll learn: - Why intelligent, capable people stay in situations that make them unhappy. - The psychology behind feeling stuck. - How hope can quietly become a reason not to change. - Why familiarity often feels safer than happiness. - The hidden cost of always protecting everyone else. - How fear of being alone shapes our decisions. - The damaging belief that "this is the best I'll ever have." - Why victim thinking often disguises itself as responsibility. - One powerful question that can help you understand what's really keeping you stuck. - How having one honest conversation can become the turning point for your future. Resources Mentioned Free Video Guide: *How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding* If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Or contact me directly - Email: jenny@jennymcoaching.com Remember  The life you want doesn't begin when everything feels certain—it begins when you're honest about what's really keeping you where you are. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it today. And if you're ready to stop avoiding the conversation that's been weighing on you, don't forget to download Jenny's free guide linked in the show notes. This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    The Real Reason You Haven't Left Yet

  7. Jul 28

    87. What I did when the rug got pulled

    Sometimes life changes in an instant. A relationship shifts. A client leaves. A conversation changes everything. It's in those moments that your mindset is tested the most. What do you do when life takes an unexpected turn? In this episode, I open up about a recent experience that completely caught me off guard. While I'm not sharing the details of what happened, I am sharing something far more valuable, how I chose to respond. Instead of trying to change someone else, questioning my worth, or slipping into victim mode, I leaned on the habits, mindset and boundaries I've spent years building. We explore why difficult moments don't define us - they reveal us. You'll discover how to protect your peace, stay grounded in the middle of uncertainty, and shift your perspective from "Why is this happening to me?" to "What if this is happening for me?" If you're navigating change, disappointment, conflict or uncertainty, this episode will remind you that your greatest strength isn't avoiding life's challenges - it's how you choose to meet them. What You'll Learn In this episode, you'll discover: * Why life's hardest moments test the inner work you've already done. * How to stop trying to change people who aren't willing to change. * Why protecting your personal power is more important than proving you're right. * The difference between reacting emotionally and responding intentionally. * Practical ways to look after yourself when life feels overwhelming, from movement and creativity to rest and reflection. * How shifting from "This is happening to me" to "This is happening for me" can completely change your perspective. * Why the people around you are always learning from how you handle life's challenges. * How choosing wisdom over woundedness can shape the life you create next. Resources Mentioned Free Video Guide: *How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding* If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/ Remember Life will always present moments that challenge us. The question isn't whether difficult things will happen - it's who we choose to become when they do. If this episode helped you feel a little less alone or reminded you of your own strength, I'd love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with someone who needs to hear it today. And remember... Your calm is your superpower. Protect it, trust it, and let it guide your next step.   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    87. What I did when the rug got pulled

  8. Jul 22

    You Were Right. So Why Does It Feel So Bad?

    I Told You So: Why Being Right Can Cost You the Relationship Have you ever watched someone ignore your advice, only for everything you warned them about to happen? That little voice inside your head screams, "I told you so." It feels justified. It feels deserved. But does saying it ever bring you closer to the people you care about? In this episode, I'm sharing why resisting those three words has transformed my relationships—and why choosing connection over being right might be one of the most powerful habits you ever build. We all want to feel heard, valued, and respected. But when someone ignores our advice, it's easy to slip into frustration, resentment, and the temptation to prove we were right. In this episode, I share a personal story about my son, Danny, whose long road trip took an unexpected turn when his truck broke down hundreds of miles from home. It would have been the perfect moment for an "I told you so." Instead, I chose something different—and that single decision created a deeper conversation and stronger connection than I ever expected. Together we'll explore why resentment isn't the real problem, what it's trying to tell us, and how learning to pause before reacting can completely change the way we communicate with the people we love. What You'll Learn * Why saying "I told you so" rarely gives us the satisfaction we expect. * How being right can quietly damage trust and connection. * What resentment is really trying to communicate. * The powerful question I now ask myself before reacting emotionally. * How one small pause can completely change the outcome of difficult conversations. * Why awareness is the first step towards lasting habit change. * Practical ways to respond with compassion instead of proving a point. * How choosing connection over validation strengthens every relationship in your life.   The goal isn't to stop feeling frustrated. It's to stop letting those feelings decide what comes out of your mouth. Every time you pause before reacting, you create the opportunity for a different outcome—one built on understanding instead of resentment, and connection instead of conflict. This week, notice the moments when you feel the urge to say, "I told you so." Ask yourself what matters more: proving your point, or protecting the relationship. That one question could change everything. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to **follow the show** so you never miss a new episode. And if you know someone who always has the perfect "I told you so" waiting on the tip of their tongue, share this episode with them—it might be exactly the perspective they need. Resources Mentioned Free Video Guide: *How to Have the Conversation You've Been Avoiding* If this episode resonated with you, I've created a free video guide to help you take the next step. Inside, I'll walk you through: My MAP framework for difficult conversations. A simple tool that replaces assumptions with information. A practical three-part framework you can use straight away in the conversation you've been avoiding. You can download it at jennymcoaching.com, or simply click this link https://jennymcoaching.com/conversation/   This episode was produced by www.keystepsupport.com

    You Were Right. So Why Does It Feel So Bad?
See All (94)

Trailer

5
out of 5
10 Ratings

About

Hey, I'm Jenny, and if you're stuck in the cycle of overthinking, shutting down, snapping at people you love, or crying at work (again), Who Do You Think You Are Talking To is for you. This is the podcast for people who want to stop reacting on autopilot and start responding with emotional intelligence, especially in tough conversations. You'll learn how to: - manage emotional triggers in real-time - calm your nervous system when you're overwhelmed - stop spiralling after conflict or silence - speak with clarity and confidence—even when it's hard - hold boundaries without over-explaining - repair relationships without losing yourself Whether you freeze, explode, or go into full people-pleasing mode when things get tense, this show will help you feel more grounded, in control, and connected, to yourself and to the people who matter. Every episode offers honest insights, practical strategies, and tools for communicating under pressure, building emotional resilience, and actually enjoying the relationships in your life. If you're ready to change how you show up in conversations, from your partner, to your boss, to your own inner critic, hit follow now so you never miss an episode. Let's take the shame out of speaking up and give you the tools to talk like the grounded, clear, powerful person you already are.

Information

You Might Also Like