Spoil Your Baby

Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum
  • 4.6 (27)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

As a mom, neuroscientist, and a long time expert to parents, almost every expert has it wrong when they say 'don't spoil your baby.' Up until the age of 3, your only job is to spoil your baby with affection, attention, and protection. I promise you it's the best chance for the long term mental health and success of your child. On my podcast, I will interview the leading experts to explain why you need to SPOIL YOUR BABY as well as those that may disagree for a spirited debate. I will also give you the most up to date science-backed tools and tips that will help you to raise your baby for lifelong health and success.

  1. 10h ago

    TAKEAWAYS from Discipline and Development with Dr Vanessa Lapointe | #56

    Why is traditional discipline actually causing anxiety and behavioral problems in our children? Dr. Vanessa Lapointe began her career as a practicing psychologist and mother, having been trained in a behaviorist approach that taught her to squash any unwanted behavior to make it stop. She quickly noticed a profound mismatch between this training and the reality of the children coming into her clinic. Dr. Lapointe observed that many referrals were anxiety-based, and it seemed that the very discipline methods being employed by parents were actually causing the anxiety and leading to challenging behaviors. This realization prompted her to conduct a deep dive into child development, including studying the work of Gordon Neufeld. Her key transformation involved moving away from punishment-focused methods, recognizing that the "downstream fallout" from harsh discipline creates more disruption in children's lives than a compassionate approach. Dr. Lapointe now operates from the developmentalist perspective, focusing on the antecedent—what happens in the environment before a behavior occurs—rather than the consequence. She explains that because babies' brains are immature and lack the necessary wiring for self-regulation and impulse control, their "bad behaviors" are actually developmentally appropriate expressions of overwhelm or excitement. Dr. Lapointe emphasizes that we must approach parenting with compassion, humanity, and heart, ensuring our children can grow up in the way nature intended, without having to recover from their childhood. Key Takeaways Traditional behaviorist discipline, which focuses on stopping behavior, often leads to negative outcomes like anxiety and continued disruption later in life.Focus on the antecedent (the environment and stressors before the behavior) rather than the consequence (punishment) to nurture healthy development.Misbehavior does not exist; all challenging behavior is simply communication of a child's needs or an underlying stress response.Boundaries for babies should define how we hold ourselves within, not how we keep the baby out or make them wait.Compassionate parenting gives us the opportunity to heal our inner child by retemplating our own childhood experiences and emotional reactions. THIS EPISODE REVISITS THE KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM OUR EPISODE 46 - Discipline and Development: The Zero to Three Guide feat. Dr. Vanessa Lapointe - Go listen to the full episode if you want to learn more. ResourcesBooks:Discipline Without DamageParenting Right From the Starthttps://drvanessalapointe.com/child-discipline-booksWebsite: https://drvanessalapointe.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/drvanessalapointeInstagram: @dr.vanessalapointe https://www.instagram.com/dr.vanessalapointeX (Twitter) https://x.com/DrVlapointe Guest Bio: Dr. Vanessa Lapointe is a mom, parenting educator, best-selling author, international speaker, and a regularly invited media guest. She holds a doctoral degree in psychology, and practiced as a psychologist for nearly 20 years, before devoting her full-time energy to connecting with parents and other “big people” around the globe in 2023. Founder of The North Star Developmental Clinic, Dr. Vanessa has long been supporting families and children in her developmental clinic alongside her team, and has previous experience in community mental health and the school system. Dr. Vanessa is known for bringing a sense of nurturing understanding and humanity to all of her work. Her passion is in walking alongside parents, teachers, care providers, and other big people to really see the world through the child’s eyes. She believes that if we can do this, we are beautifully positioned to grow up our children in the best possible way. Ready to Connect with Greer?"Nurture Neuroscience" Website:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    12 min

  2. Jun 8

    The Roots of Resilience: Healing Birth Trauma feat. Annie Brook | #55

    How do the first impressions of birth and early infancy shape our nervous systems and relationships for a lifetime? Annie Brook is a somatic psychotherapist and educator who helps families understand the profound impact that birth and early caregiving have on lifelong wellbeing. Growing up as a premature baby herself, Annie spent time in an incubator and later navigated infant depression and sensory-motor difficulties. Her personal journey of healing led her to discover that the body holds memories of birth trauma long after they are "forgotten" by the conscious mind. In this episode, Annie explains that babies have no context for medical interventions or difficult births, which can leave deep impressions on the primitive brain, showing up as fears of abandonment or invasion. Through her work, she helps children and adults tell their "birth story" using somatic tools, play therapy, and movement. By unwinding these early impacts, parents can move from guilt to understanding, allowing for a fresh approach to behavior and deep relational healing. Key Takeaways Birth is an impactful memory phase that shapes the nervous system, even if the conscious mind doesn't remember the event.Difficult behaviors in children, such as hypersensitivity or being "clingy," are often communication of a buried birth story.Somatic psychotherapy helps adults and children access and release early trauma by focusing on the "felt sense" of the body.Birth trauma often affects the "relational field," influencing how we connect with parents and partners throughout our lives.Healing begins with non-judgmental listening and helping the "baby self" know it is no longer alone. Resources Annie Brook's Website: https://www.anniebrook.comThe Brook Institute on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebrookinstituteAnnie Brook's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anniebrooktherapyAnnie Brook's YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@thebrookinstitutewithannie9097 Guest Bio: Annie Brook, Ph.D, LPC, MSME (ISMETA), is a therapist, author, and educator in the somatic community. She founded the Brook Institute for Somatic Studies and Psychotherapy in 2001 and specializes in helping adults and children get to the roots of difficult behaviors by unwinding the impacts of birth on the nervous system. Ready to Connect with Greer?"Nurture Neuroscience" Website:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    30 min

  3. Jun 1

    The Healing Power of Nurturing Touch and Infant Massage feat. Sylvie Hetu | #54

    How can the simple act of infant massage transform your baby's health and your bond forever? Sylvie Hétu has spent over 30 years leading the way for infant massage around the world. Her journey is tied to the story of Vimala McClure, who saw the power of touch in an orphanage in India. Sylvie realized that this old tradition could solve a big problem today: many babies aren't touched enough and spend too much time in car seats or strollers. She helps parents who feel lost or shy when they bring a new baby home. She uses a gentle, five-session plan to help parents move from feeling worried to feeling sure of themselves. Her work changed how we think about baby care by focusing on love and talking through touch rather than just worrying about sleep or food. She builds a safe place where parents can find a "village" of support again. This allows them to listen to their own gut feelings and see their babies as real people from day one. We think her story shows how simple touch can build a foundation for a healthy life. Key Takeaways Massage helps a baby's body work better and helps them sleep longer by lowering their stress levels.IAIM classes use a slow approach so parents can learn at their own pace and feel more confident.Nurturing touch is like a first language that helps parents understand the subtle signals their babies are sending.These classes bring parents together to create a supportive community and fight the feeling of being alone.Parents can start right now with "resting hands" to help calm their baby and feel closer to them. Resources International Association of Infant Massage Website: https://iaim.net International Association of Infant Massage Canada Website: https://www.iaim-aimbcanada.org Guest Bio: Sylvie Hétu is an international trainer and certified infant massage instructor with the International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM) for over 30 years. She pioneered infant massage in Canada and has taught in countries all over the world, including South Africa, Japan, and Hungary. She also served as the president of the IAIM for 12 years. Ready to Connect with Greer?"Nurture Neuroscience" Website:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum/ LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum/ FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    36 min

  4. May 25

    The Womb as the First Home: Shaping Lifelong Mental Health feat. Dr Catherine Monk | #53

    How does a mother’s internal world during pregnancy shape a child’s lifelong mental health? Dr. Catherine Monk began her career as a clinical psychologist driven by a deep interest in development. She wanted to understand how our early backgrounds shape who we become as adults. This curiosity led her to the epigenetics revolution, where she discovered that experiences actually get embedded into our biology. Her personal journey was also shaped by seeing her own mother struggle with significant postpartum depression. This experience fueled her passion to become a pioneer in the field of maternal mental health. She faced the challenge of a medical system that traditionally focused only on a baby’s anatomy rather than their brain development. Dr. Monk worked hard to bridge the gap between psychology and obstetrics to show that the fetus is not passive. Her key transformation involved proving that the womb is truly the first influential home. She emphasizes that maternal well-being is the foundation for a baby’s stress and emotional regulation systems. Today, she helps parents find their own agency through simple buffering tools. Her goal is to ensure that the next generation gets the best start possible through science and compassion. Key Takeaways The fetus is an active participant in development, responding constantly to the mother’s internal biological and emotional signals.Incredible brain activity occurs in utero, with 40,000 new synapses forming every second during the peak of the third trimester.Maternal stress can alter the connectivity between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, affecting a child's future emotional regulation.Unpredictable or chaotic maternal mood signals in pregnancy can prime the fetus’s sensory systems to be overly vigilant.We can buffer stress by practicing mindfulness, using a worry book for sleep, and focusing on our capacity to be alone. Resources Dr. Catherine Monk at Columbia University: https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/profile/catherine-e-monk-phd Perinatal Pathways Laboratory Website: https://www.perinatalpathways.org Dr. Catherine Monk's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-monk-1956473 Guest Bio: Catherine Monk, PhD, is the inaugural Diana Vagelos Professor of Women’s Mental Health in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology and Professor of Medical Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons and Research Scientist VI at the New York State Psychiatric Institute. Dr. Monk is also the founding director of Women’s Mental Health @Ob/Gyn. Ready to Connect with Greer?"Nurture Neuroscience" Website:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    37 min

  5. May 18

    Pregnancy After Loss: Finding Connection in the Midst of Fear feat. Kristin Mundy | #52

    How can we continue to mother our children and find deep connection even after experiencing profound loss? Kristin Mundy was born to be a doula. She started as a "mother's helper" when she was just a kid and spent years working in education and as a nanny. About eight years ago, she felt a "light bulb moment" and decided to become a full-time doula. Her life and career changed forever when she went through her own heartbreaking journey of loss. After a miscarriage and the stillbirth of her daughter, Vienna, Kristen realized that our society really drops the ball when it comes to supporting grieving parents. She faced the massive challenge of navigating a medical system that didn't always listen and a world that is often afraid of grief. She then went through another loss with her son, William, before eventually welcoming her rainbow baby daughter. These experiences led to a major transformation in her work. She shifted her focus to bereavement and pregnancy after loss, helping other moms navigate the "gap in care" she experienced herself. Kristen learned that even when a baby isn't here physically, you never stop being their mother. She chose to bond deeply with her babies despite the fear, and she now helps others find that same connection. She teaches us that grief is just love with nowhere to go. By sharing her story, she gives mothers permission to take up space and honor their unique paths to healing. Key Takeaways Grief is essentially love that has nowhere to go, and it is vital to acknowledge this deep connection even after a loss.Mothers have full permission to continue mothering their children who have passed by creating rituals, memories, and space for them in the family.Pregnancy after loss is a unique trauma that requires specialized support to help mothers manage valid fears and anxieties every single day.Connection with a baby is possible and important even during a high-risk pregnancy because that time together is a miracle regardless of the outcome.Finding a village that can sit with you in your pain is essential because society often struggles to support those navigating profound grief. Resources The Doula Life's Website: https://www.thedoulalife.ca The Doula Life's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.doula.life Guest Bio: Kristin Mundy is a doula who specializes in bereavement and pregnancy after loss. She is also a childbirth educator, a loss mom, and a mother of a rainbow baby. She has been a full-time doula for over eight years and is dedicated to bridging the gaps in care for mothers navigating loss and the journey thereafter. Ready to Connect with Greer?"Nurture Neuroscience" Website:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting":https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    39 min

  6. May 11

    The Doula’s Guide to Nurturing Birth Instincts and Connection feat. Stefanie Antunes | #51

    Why is the way we connect with our babies at birth so vital for our long-term relationship? Stefanie Antunes began her journey as a doula and educator over twenty years ago after the birth of her second son taught her the true value of preparation and support. She is now a visionary in the field, training thousands of doulas and helping families navigate the intense transition into parenthood. Stefanie believes that birth is an embodied experience that acts as a gateway to our emotional world. She has seen how modern hospital practices often disturb the natural hormonal flow that nature designed for safety and bonding. A major challenge she addresses is the pressure for parents to follow "head-based" information instead of trusting their own inner landscape and instincts. She transformed her practice by focusing on helping people connect with their heart and gut before the "noise" of the world takes over. Stefanie advocates for a return to our mammalian roots, emphasizing that we aren't meant to parent in isolation. She encourages us to reject the myth that we should know everything automatically and instead surrender to the community support we deserve. By prioritizing skin-to-skin contact and planning for postpartum care, she helps families create a foundation of connection that lasts a lifetime. We believe this conversation is a beautiful reminder to look inward and trust the wisdom of our bodies. Key Takeaways Early connection at birth is deeply rooted in our mammalian biology and sets a vital foundation for the lifelong parent-baby relationship.Learning to distinguish between anxiety in the head and instinct in the gut helps parents make better decisions for their families.Modern hospital disturbances, like early inductions, can disrupt the essential hormones that nature provides for a safe and bonded birth experience.The "nuclear family lie" makes us believe parenting should be easy, but we actually need a village to thrive in the postpartum period.Planning for postpartum support through exercises like the "four circles" helps families navigate the intense changes in time and energy after birth. Resources Doula School Canada's Website: https://doulatraining.ca Doula School International's Website: https://doulaschool.com Stefanie Antunes's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stefanieantunes Guest Bio: Stefanie Antunes has been a Lamaze® Educator and doula since 2002, after the birth of her second son showed her just how valuable it is to be prepared for birth and to have good support around you. Stefanie is a visionary in the childbirth field. Her commitment to the profession has been exemplary. She founded Ontario’s first doula agency, helping to obtain insurance for the doula industry, creating the Birth Doula Program, Ontario’s first and only hospital doula program, and more! Stefanie is the director of public relations for the Association of Ontario Doulas, former Public Relations Director and Treasurer for DONA International and sits on many local boards and coalitions to improve our communities. Ready to Connect with Greer?"Nurture Neuroscience" Website:https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress": https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting": https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    38 min

  7. May 4

    _Motherhood Expanded: Coming Home to Yourself Through Storytelling feat. Kim Marshall | #50

    How can we use the challenges of motherhood as a powerful medicine for our own healing and growth? Kim Marshall spent nearly 25 years working with children and families as a teacher before realizing the best way to support kids was to help the people raising them. Six years ago, she left her corporate teaching career to become an online parenting coach and reorganized her life to focus on her own motherhood journey. This shift allowed her to move away from a fast-paced "doing" mindset and embrace a slower, inward-looking way of "being". Her biggest challenge was navigating the "noise" of a world designed to keep us busy and distracted. She realized that if we aren't intentional, we can lose our true selves in the expectations of others. Her transformation came through accepting "matrescence"—the threshold of becoming a mother—and viewing motherhood as a sacred "portal" for growth. Kim's journey inspired her to curate an anthology called Motherhood Expanded, featuring 15 authentic stories of mothers and grandmothers. She believes that our children act as mirrors, holding up invitations for us to heal our deepest wounds and unlearn old patterns. By sharing these vulnerable stories, we find the strength to come home to our humanity and break generational cycles. We believe this episode offers a beautiful reminder that we are never alone in the messy, painful, and glorious process of raising children while raising ourselves. Key Takeaways Motherhood is a unique threshold where we are birthed and chosen to step into the primal and transformative force of love.Our children act as mirrors that hold up invitations for us to address our deepest triggers and begin the work of healing.We must intentionally slow down to avoid losing ourselves in a fast-paced world that prioritizes constant doing over the beauty of being.Vulnerable storytelling helps us connect with a collective motherhood energy, reminding us that we are enough exactly as we are right now.It is a privilege to confront generational wounds and transform them into blessings for the children who are born for these specific times. Resources Kim Marshall's Book: Motherhood Expanded https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GVJWZNFC Kim Marshall's Website: https://www.rootsandwingsmethod.com Kim Marshall's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rootsandwingschildhood Kim Marshall's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rootsandwingschildhood Guest Bio: Kim Marshall is a mother of 2 and founder of Roots and Wings Childhood. As a parenting coach, she works online to serve an international audience, helping mothers unlearn and relearn what it takes to mother themselves and their children with connection instead of control. Her holistic approach to understanding behavior and relationships guides families toward emotional safety. Kim provides personalized private and group coaching that integrates mindset, strategy, and somatic work to help parents break generational cycles. Ready to Connect with Greer? "Nurture Neuroscience" Website: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum/ FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress": https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting": https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting

    26 min

  8. Apr 27

    Generational Love and the Power of Poetry feat. Hannah Rosenberg | #49

    How can writing and community help us navigate the beautiful, scary, and opposing feelings of motherhood? Hannah Rosenberg is a poet and mother who uses writing as a vital tool to process the intense emotions of parenthood. Her journey into public writing began as a way to capture the duality of grief and joy that often defines the mothering experience. During the episode, she reflects on the "overpowering and scary" realization of her own mortality that came with having children, leading her to write about generational love and the legacy of care we leave behind. A major challenge Hannah addresses is the modern pressure to be independent and parent in seclusion. She admits to feeling guilty about needing help with her first child but underwent a transformation with her second, learning to surrender to the support of her village. She now advocates for rejecting the "modern lie" that we can handle everything on our own. By sharing her poems, Hannah helps us see that even our strangest fears are shared by others. She encourages us to prioritize deep friendships and community, reminding us that being a good mother includes taking care of our own well-being and staying connected to the world. Key Takeaways Motherhood is full of opposing feelings like grief and joy, and it is normal to experience both at the same time. The idea that we should parent in total independence is a modern lie that often leads to burnout and unnecessary isolation. Nurturing our children creates a beautiful cycle of generational love that changes their biology and stays with them for a lifetime. Prioritizing friendships is not a luxury but a necessary part of modeling well-being and healthy social connections for our children. We can build community by letting go of the need for a perfect house and inviting others into our real, messy lives. Resources Hannah Rosenberg's Website: https://www.hannahrowrites.com Hannah Rosenberg's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahrowrites Hannah Rosenberg's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannah-rosenberg-8103861a Guest Bio: Hannah Rosenberg is a poet whose writing touches on womanhood, marriage, friendship, and motherhood. She started sharing her writing regularly online in 2020 and has since developed a special community of readers. Hannah is the author of the book of poems, Same. Ready to Connect with Greer? "Nurture Neuroscience" Website: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum/ FREE GUIDE, "Nurture Your Baby's Stress": https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress FREE GUIDE, "Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting": https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting Order "The Nurture Revolution" Book: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution

    31 min
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4.6
out of 5
27 Ratings

About

As a mom, neuroscientist, and a long time expert to parents, almost every expert has it wrong when they say 'don't spoil your baby.' Up until the age of 3, your only job is to spoil your baby with affection, attention, and protection. I promise you it's the best chance for the long term mental health and success of your child. On my podcast, I will interview the leading experts to explain why you need to SPOIL YOUR BABY as well as those that may disagree for a spirited debate. I will also give you the most up to date science-backed tools and tips that will help you to raise your baby for lifelong health and success.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    56
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    Spoil Your Baby

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