New York Times bestselling author Alex Elle did not plan on any of this, on any of what she's known for today. She was an only child who wrote, as she puts it, cringy novellas and sad poems. She was a college dropout who still wondered where her incisive and inquisitive mind would land. She was a mother at 18 trying to figure out how to make rent, but also how to model a version of personhood that would break generational cycles. And become an anchor for her daughter to fully realize her own life. She was a 19-year-old in therapy after struggling with anxiety and depression when she received the suggestion that would change her life, to try writing herself notes of compassion instead of notes of grief. What Alex now calls "love notes to self". That small redirection ultimately became a body of work, and 14 years later, with several self-published books that led to a traditional publishing career, and millions of copies of books now sold. She's become a New York Times bestselling author whose latest book, The Company We Keep, is a national bestseller. Alex joined me for Creativity in the Time of Capitalism to answer the question I ask everyone here. How did you come to support yourself through your creativity? What followed was one of the most candid answers I've received. She tells the story of quitting a nonprofit job on the spot after a manager called her quote, "a low-budget employee" and of standing on a corner in DuPont Circle with her MetroCard, now deactivated out of spite by the same manager, saying to herself, "I'm either gonna fly or I'm gonna fail, but I'm not going to not try." Two weeks later, she booked her first paid speaking engagement. "No one believed in me but me," she says. "My whole career path has been a practice in believing in myself." Alex is now the mother to three girls, and we also talk about how her oldest, an 18-year-old now herself, is leaving for art school at the same age Alex was when she became a mother to her, and the mantra that she returns to anytime they're in conflict:" "That before I am your mother, I am a woman, and before you are my daughter, you are your own." Inspired by her latest book, we also get into the power of pruning in both our gardens and our relationships.And we land somewhere I keep thinking about. Self-care not as a purchase, but as a practice, not as an indulgence, but as an act of community care. How the mundane, unrem ar how the mundane, unmarketable stuff that creates real life, the routines and rituals, are all that we have at the end of the day. And how we move through them matters. Alex reminds us that we are the only ones who can guarantee that our needs make it to the top of our daily to-do lists and that in doing so, we can help to lift not only ourselves, but our families, our friends, and our communities in the process. Let's dive into our conversation.
