In this episode, Ros and Ali explore the vital role that boundaries play in our relationships, how they shape connection, protect well-being, and promote self-respect. They unpack what boundaries really are, the different forms they take, and why so many of us struggle to set or maintain them. Along the way, they consider the influence of family dynamics, workplace norms, and personal history, highlighting how self-awareness is key to boundary setting. The discussion wraps up with compassionate, practical guidance on building boundaries that feel both confident and kind. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Boundaries in Relationships 06:24 Types of Boundaries: Physical, Emotional, and More 12:09 Navigating Boundaries in Family Dynamics 17:51 Workplace Boundaries and Professional Relationships 21:09 Understanding Boundaries and People Pleasing 24:37 The Impact of Childhood on Boundaries 29:39 Recognizing and Changing Boundary Behaviours 35:46 Practicing Assertiveness in Setting Boundaries 39:43 Reflecting on Personal Boundaries and Growth 📍 Resources mentioned: Things you might notice in yourself and in the relationship when your boundaries are being crossed. Many people only recognise boundary crossings through these kinds of feelings and patterns, and that noticing them is often the first step toward making kinder, clearer choices in relationships. What you might notice in yourself A sense of dread or heaviness before seeing or replying to a message You say “yes” when you mean “no,” then feel resentful, used or quietly angry You find yourself over‑explaining, justifying or defending quite basic needs or preferences. You apologise a lot, even when you haven’t done anything wrong, just to smooth things over. You leave interactions feeling small, guilty, ashamed or “too sensitive”. You feel responsible for managing the other person’s mood, reactions or disappointment. You’re exhausted by how much emotional support you give and notice they’re rarely there for you. You’re walking on eggshells, monitoring what you say or do to avoid a reaction. What you might notice in the other person’s behaviour They ignore or push past your “no,” or keep asking after you’ve clearly declined. They guilt‑trip you, sulk, give the silent treatment or make you feel you’re selfish for having limits. They tell you you’re overreacting, too sensitive, or that it’s “not a big deal” when you raise something. They don’t respect your need for time or space sending multiple messages, pressure to respond immediately, irritation if you’re not available. They invade your physical or digital space, standing too close, touching without checking, reading your messages, turning up uninvited. What you might notice over time The relationship feels lopsided – their needs, crises or opinions always seem to take centre‑stage. You’re losing touch with what you like, want or believe, because it’s easier to go along with them. You start to withdraw, wondering how to escape, or avoid contact rather than having an honest conversation. ✨ We want to hear from you: What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)? Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics? Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists? ✨ Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT ✨ Connect with us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/ ✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend! ✨ Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help. ✨ Credits: Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio
