Normalizing Men's Mental Health with Will Fruin

Will Fruin
  • 4.0 (3)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

About: I’m passionate about breaking the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. This podcast features meaningful, interview-style conversations with guests who share their experiences, insights, and strategies to promote emotional well-being and mental resilience in men.

  1. 4d ago

    Why Bottling Up Grief Can Turn Into a Silent Death Wish

    Donnie: A Cop’s Story of Trauma, Identity, and HealingWill Fruin speaks with Todd Maguire, a former Queensland Police detective sergeant and author of Donnie and Undercover Cop with a Death Wish, about the event that shattered his life and the long road back from grief. The conversation follows Todd’s transformation from a regular police officer into an undercover identity named Donnie, and how that role became tied to unresolved trauma, PTSD, and survival.We discuss what happened on New Year’s Eve 1999, how alcohol and high-risk behavior became coping mechanisms, and why writing the book became a turning point. Todd also shares what it means to reclaim his own life, speak openly about mental health, and help other men do the same. Key topicsTodd Maguire explains his 27-year career with the Queensland Police Service, finishing as a detective sergeant after years investigating drugs, murders, assaults, rapes, and deaths.He shares how he unexpectedly became a police officer after a pub conversation with a friend, then quickly realized he loved the work.Todd describes his first foot patrol shift in Surfers Paradise, where breaking up fights made him feel like he had found his place.The conversation turns to the traumatic event on New Year’s Eve 1999, when Todd found his partner Karen dead by suicide after he returned home with her young son, Clark.Todd recounts the immediate aftermath, including shock, CPR attempts, calling emergency services, and the emotional collapse that followed.He admits that after the tragedy he spent three months drinking heavily and numbing himself rather than processing grief.Todd explains how, about 12 months later, he met undercover officers at a pub and realized undercover work might be the only thing left that gave him purpose.He walks through the transition into the identity of Donnie, including changing his name, training for undercover work, and learning to live between two worlds.Todd describes the psychological cost of undercover life, including needing to answer to Donnie in public and distancing himself from old friendships.A pivotal moment came when a man he had helped arrest called him from a cliff, terrified of jail, and Todd realized he did not want to leave that kind of pain behind for others.Todd and Will discuss how trauma, masculinity, and emotional suppression often push men toward alcohol, avoidance, and isolation instead of healing.Writing the book became a form of therapy and a way to show other men that they are allowed to talk, grieve, and ask for help.Todd says the book is part true crime, part memoir, part mental health reflection, but at its core it is a message about survival and what not to do when life falls apart.He shares how his wife’s support helped him tell the story honestly without disrespecting Karen or minimizing the impact of the trauma.Todd explains that Donnie now represents PTSD for him, and that he is learning to recognize when that part of himself starts creeping back in.He closes by warning that untreated pain gets passed on to loved ones, and that healing yourself is one of the most selfless things you can do.Timestamps00:00 - Introducing Todd Maguire and the story behind Donnie 00:50 - 27 years in Queensland policing

  2. Sep 9

    How One Pediatrician Changed Her Own Parenting by Studying Temperament

    Parent the child you have, not the one you imagined. Dr. Kristen Cook breaks down why so many behavior battles are really overwhelmed brains, mismatched expectations, and adults reacting on autopilot. If you’re raising kids, teaching them, or trying to break a cycle from your own childhood, this conversation gives you a calmer, more effective way forward.After 15 years in pediatric practice, Dr. Cook saw the same parenting questions surface across wildly different families, from underserved households to international families working in her community. That pattern led her to write Parenting Redefined, a book built to help parents understand what children are actually capable of at each stage - emotionally, socially, and cognitively - so discipline becomes guidance instead of punishment.You’ll hear Dr. Cook explain how temperament changes everything: one child may need firmer, more direct language while another shuts down under the same tone. She shares why toddlers and preschoolers often act out for attention, why tantrums are usually signs of an overwhelmed brain, and how to respond without reinforcing the behavior. She also breaks down the difference between what a child can do at different ages and why expecting adult-level emotional reasoning from a young child backfires.Will Fruin pushes the conversation deeper into emotional regulation, modeling, co-parenting, and the ways parents unknowingly pass on yelling, shame, or silence. Dr. Cook offers practical tools like “duck on a pond,” a simple visualization for staying calm under pressure, plus her approach to family meetings, repair after mistakes, and helping kids build emotional language early - sometimes before age two.Dr. Cook also addresses the hard realities: developmental delays, neurodivergence, divorce, absent parents, substance use, and how to recognize when behavior may point to something clinical like disruptive mood dysregulation disorder. Her message is both compassionate and clear - most parents are doing better than they think, and growth is possible when you trade judgment for curiosity.If you want a more peaceful home, better communication, and a parenting framework that actually fits real children, this episode is essential listening.

  3. Sep 1

    The Stoic Shift That Turned Rock Bottom Into a Better Life

    Stoicism is not a dusty philosophy for people with their life already figured out - it is a survival tool for the moments when everything falls apart. Benny Via Stoica reveals how divorce, a serious knee injury, and nearly five years of sobriety forced him to rebuild his life from the ground up using ancient wisdom, radical honesty, and a completely different way of relating to people.Benny is the founder of Via Stoica, where he coaches, teaches, and creates workshops rooted in Stoic philosophy. He shares how he went from heavy drinking and emotional burnout to a life built around purpose, discipline, and meaningful connection - and why the real shift happened when he stopped trying to escape his life and started learning how to live it.You'll discover how Stoicism helped Benny rethink sobriety, relationships, travel, and even the way he teaches. He breaks down why the people around you often resist your growth at first, how to spot disengagement in kids and adults, and why confidence, presence, and one-on-one attention matter more than performance. He also explains the Stoic ideas behind emotional control, minimalism, and the discipline of desire.We break down why "attention is love," how side-by-side experiences like walking, sports, and building things can create deeper bonds than small talk ever will, and why so many modern relationships stay shallow because we are distracted, overconsuming, and always reaching for the next thing. Benny connects these ideas to real life - from hosting stoic walks in Spain to finding more honest connection in conversations, family moments, and shared struggle.If you have ever felt stuck, burned out, disconnected, or ready for a more grounded way to live, this conversation will hit hard. Essential listening if you want practical wisdom, not theory - and a reminder that the good life is not found by escaping yourself, but by becoming someone you can trust.

  4. Aug 26

    The Prison System Fails Twice - On the Inside and After Release

    Mike Knox on prison, parole, comedy, and advocating for epilepsy Will Fruin speaks with Mike Knox, a comedian, writer, retired parole agent, and father advocating for his daughter with epilepsy. The conversation moves between the realities of prison and parole work, the failures of reentry systems, and the personal toll of chronic caregiving. Mike also opens up about how humor became a survival tool, how comedy became a second career, and why empathy is the throughline connecting his work, his family life, and his advocacy. Key topics In this episode: Mike explains how working in prisons and parole shaped his communication style, forcing him to be direct, efficient, and firm. In this episode: He describes prison as mostly boredom with bursts of extreme danger, and contrasts inmate behavior with officer culture. In this episode: Mike argues that prison and parole systems do not communicate well, which creates bad transitions for people reentering society. In this episode: The discussion covers barriers to reentry, including lack of ID, driver’s licenses, housing, job access, and follow-through from institutions. In this episode: Mike shares how trust breaks down when supervisors, police, or systems undermine the rapport parole agents try to build. In this episode: Mental health comes up repeatedly, especially how prisons, police, and parole often default to punishment instead of care. In this episode: Will and Mike talk about the stigma around therapy, alcohol use in law enforcement, and the pressure to “suck it up.” In this episode: Mike shares his experience as a father to a daughter with epilepsy, including years of seizures, medical frustration, and the challenge of navigating schools and doctors. In this episode: The conversation highlights how a vagus nerve stimulator helped Mike’s daughter become seizure-free and regain independence. In this episode: Mike explains why comedy matters to him as a form of therapy, self-expression, and learning through discomfort. Timestamps (00:00) Introductions and why Mike’s direct communication style stands out (01:06) Prison communication, patience, and why being firm but fair works better (02:04) What prison is really like: boredom, fear, violence, and survival (03:25) Why Mike entered prison work and how he started collecting stories for a book (04:31) Prison-to-parole disconnect and why reentry support often fails (06:23) The first obstacles after release: ID, background checks, and employment (08:03) Why halfway-house style support could help people transition better (08:32) Veterans in the system and missed opportunities for targeted support (09:51) How homelessness, addiction, and environment shape behavior (10:35) Building trust with parolees and how supervisors and police can destroy it (11:31) Systemic waste, Skid Row, and why Mike believes many problems are ignored on purpose (12:43) Mental illness, psych holds, and the lack of long-term treatment (14:38) Why many people most in need of benefits struggle to access them (17:53) Law enforcement culture, stigma, and why family members often don’t understand the work (20:55) Why therapy is often discouraged in law enforcement while drinking is normalized (24:53) Not talking about the job at home and the strain that creates in marriage (27:45) Retirement, identity, and why so many officers stay too long (31:30) Food, stress, and using eating as an emotional outlet (33:02) Early therapy experiences and why trust matters in treatment (37:37) Why Mike started comedy and how humor helped him survive (40:14) Comedy as an ongoing challenge, not a destination

  5. Aug 11

    Why Veterans Quit Therapy After One Session

    Veterans are being failed by therapy that asks them to explain themselves before they ever feel seen. Dr. Jessica Sellers breaks down why cultural competence, trust, and the first few minutes of a session can determine whether someone stays in care or walks away forever. Will Fruin and Jessica Sellers get blunt about what actually helps veterans open up, why so many providers miss the mark, and how community mental health can become a real lifeline instead of another dead end. If you work with veterans, love one, or are a veteran yourself, this conversation will change how you think about therapy, crisis support, and healing. You'll discover why veterans often hold back in session because they do not want to traumatize the therapist, how EMDR and early rapport building create safety, and why “just fix me” is not what many people need when they finally ask for help. Jessica shares how flexible approaches like writing, resourcing, and meeting people where they are can make therapy actually usable. We also break down the bigger system problem: the gap between VA referrals and community providers, the shocking lack of cultural competence training, and why data alone cannot capture the human story behind suicide risk, stigma, and burnout. The episode also gets into safety planning, 988 calls, firearms, and why crisis response has to be calm, practical, and stigma-free if it is going to work. Jessica Sellers is a social worker and Army National Guard veteran working on her DSW, with a focus on improving how community care providers interact with veterans. Her perspective is shaped by her own military background, her work with VA referrals, and her hands-on experience helping clients build trust, safety, and connection. Essential listening if you care about veteran mental health, trauma-informed care, or what real cultural competence looks like in practice. #veterans #mentalhealth #mensmentalhealth #mensmentalhealthmatters

  6. Aug 4

    The Surprising Role of Vulnerability and Authenticity in Men’s Healing Journeys

    Healing from Trauma and the Power of VulnerabilityJoin Will Fruin in a compelling conversation with Stephen Paul Edwards, author of The Venus Fly Trap, as they explore how childhood experiences, mental health, and relational dynamics shape us. Stephen shares candid stories from his tumultuous past, insights on emotional healing, and how vulnerability can be a profound source of strength. In this episode:How childhood trauma influences adult relationships and personal growthThe importance of taking responsibility and viewing experiences as opportunities for growthStephen’s journey from a childhood of emotional neglect and running away to discovering his true self through personal developmentThe role of mental illness in relationships, including borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, and the importance of compassionThe therapeutic power of vulnerability and authenticity in healing and connectionExploring the intensity of passionate relationships and their impact on well-being and stabilityThe concept of seeking adventure and avoiding normalcy to maintain vitality and excitement in lifeThe significance of communication, boundaries, and independence in healthy relationshipsThe cultural role of shame and societal expectations around mental health and personal authenticityThe Himba tribe’s approach to shame, responsibility, and societal healing as a model for deeper community connectionTimestamps: 00:00 - Introducing Stephen Paul Edwards and the influence of childhood on identity 02:21 - How early experiences shape our relationships and life choices 03:14 - Stephen’s life of running away from himself and his journey into healing 04:50 - Meeting and learning from a complex relationship with an international supermodel 06:13 - The significance of owning your story and the gift of vulnerability 08:05 - The healing power of honest communication about trauma and mental illness 09:28 - The biological and evolutionary talk on beauty, attraction, and legacy passing 10:55 - The burning intensity of high-volatility relationships and their unsustainability 12:17 - Understanding borderline personality disorder and the importance of therapy 14:13 - The heartbreaking decisions involved in ending a tumultuous relationship 15:56 - The challenge of healing and stability, and the desire for excitement over normalcy 17:28 - Risk-taking as a core personality trait and its impact on relationships 18:36 - The magnetic pull of authentic, imperfect human connections 20:00 - Avoiding the mundane to preserve passion and vitality in long-term relationships 21:23 - The importance of curiosity, shared interests, and nurturing individual identities within partnership 22:07 - How healing affects relationship dynamics and maintaining excitement 23:00 - The concept of separate spaces and non-traditional relationship structures 25:39 - The balance between intimacy, independence, and meaningful shared experiences 26:41 - Communication as a foundation for vulnerability and connection 28:50 - The significance of honesty about sexual preferences and boundaries 31:29 - Overcoming shame related to personal scars and mental health struggles 36:18 - The impact of societal shame versus personal acceptance and resilience 37:42 - The rare and profound approach of the Himba tribe to community and accountability 42:26 - Embracing imperfection as an authentic way to find meaningful relationships 45:48 - The beauty of flaws, the allure of high-volatility personalities, and the "burning bright" metaphor 48:32 - Authenticity's power — how unapologetic selves attract genuine connection

  7. Jul 28

    How Listening Deeply Reveals the Hidden Inner World of Men

    Unlock the profound power of genuine listening—an art that can transform your relationships, deepen your connection to yourself, and even heal wounds you didn't know you had. In this heartfelt conversation with Dr. Randall Alifano, a seasoned clinical psychologist and spiritual seeker, we explore how true presence and curiosity unlock the human soul’s capacity for healing and authenticity. You’ll discover how the simple act of truly listening can dissolve barriers built by societal expectations, trauma, and self-rejection. Randall shares personal stories—from hiking with his son Nico to moments of vulnerability in therapy—highlighting how curiosity and innocence are essential keys to living fully. He unpacks the myth that men must hide their tears and how embracing vulnerability can expand resilience, strength, and compassion. This episode challenges the way we view mental health—showing that blending psychology, spirituality, and a raw desire to connect is the way forward. We break down the importance of dropping the masks we wear, removing the filters that distort our perception, and opening ourselves up to the wonder, color, and depth of life. If you’re tired of surviving life in the background, this episode is a call to choose courage over comfort. It’s perfect for anyone craving deeper emotional intelligence, authentic connection, or seeking healing from past wounds—a guide to living with curiosity, love, and the boldness to listen, truly listen. Because when we pause, listen, and surrender to our shared humanity, we not only understand others better but restore our sense of belonging and purpose. Randall Alifano is a clinical psychologist and ordained minister known for integrating spirituality and mental health. His work is driven by a passionate belief that healing begins when we listen deeply—without judgment or agendas—and reconnect with the innocence that fuels curiosity and growth. Listen now to discover how the simple act of listening can completely change your life—your relationships, your inner world, and your connection to something greater. It’s time to take off the sunglasses, embrace vulnerability, and truly come home.

  8. Jul 21

    The Surprising Power of Writing to Heal Men's Mental Health and Revitalize Faith

    Unlock the transformative power of faith, resilience, and authentic connection with Solomon Okong—pastor, life coach, and author—who daringly shares how our greatest battles often become our most profound blessings. In this episode, Solomon reveals how embracing life’s challenges, from overcoming childhood trauma to navigating cultural shifts from Ghana to the US, can lead to unexpected growth and purpose. Discover how he shifted from chasing a football career to answering a divine calling, and learn the vital role that faith plays in healing and mental health, especially in times of loneliness and hardship. You'll hear about the importance of community, the power of forgiveness, and how building walls of shame can trap us in prisons of our own making. Solomon shares poignant metaphors—like walls as prisons and life's journey as turbulent airplane rides—that will challenge your perspective on adversity. He discusses practical ways to rebuild trust after being hurt by church or community, emphasizing the necessity of forgiveness, connection, and divine guidance. This episode offers specific strategies: how to find God in times of pain, the significance of biblical marriage, and why male role models matter—even for those without a father figure. Solomon’s insights empower you to heal complex emotional wounds, rekindle hope, and walk boldly in your purpose, all grounded in God’s unwavering love. Perfect for anyone seeking spiritual encouragement, personal growth, or battling feelings of shame and loss—this conversation will inspire you to embrace your journey, trust divine timing, and turn obstacles into opportunities for impactful living. Solomon Okong is a pastor at DuPont Church, author of impactful books, and a dedicated community builder committed to helping others discover their worth and God’s plan. His authentic stories and biblical wisdom make this episode a beacon for those yearning for hope, clarity, and deeper faith. Don’t miss this powerful message of hope, healing, and purpose—because your life isn’t a mistake; it’s part of a divine plan waiting to unfold. #mentalhealth #christian #healing

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About

About: I’m passionate about breaking the stigma surrounding men’s mental health. This podcast features meaningful, interview-style conversations with guests who share their experiences, insights, and strategies to promote emotional well-being and mental resilience in men.

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