The Parenting Pair Podcast

Dr. Annalise Caron & Dr. Suzanne Allen
  • 5.0 (32)
  • PARENTING

Welcome to The Parenting Pair Podcast! We’re Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen—child and adolescent clinical psychologists and moms of teens and tweens. After years of fielding questions at the bus stop, on the sidelines, and in our offices, we created this podcast to bring compassionate, evidence-based guidance straight to you. Each week, we tackle real questions from parents and explore all things related to teens, tweens, development and mental health. Together, we’ll offer practical support for navigating the ups and downs of raising tweens and teens—especially when challenges arise. You’re doing important work. Let’s do it together. Check out "The Parenting Pair" youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@TheParentingPair

  1. 2D AGO

    Sleep Struggles in Tweens and Teens: Insomnia, Nightmares and When Parents Should Seek Help

    Sleep problems are one of the most common—and most stressful—concerns parents bring up when raising tweens and teens. From bedtime battles and nighttime anxiety to insomnia, nightmares, and middle-of-the-night visits to a parent’s bedroom, sleep challenges can leave families exhausted, worried, and unsure of what’s normal. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen welcome back Dr. Andrea Roth and Dr. Allison Shale to talk about sleep challenges in tweens and teens, including insomnia, parasomnias, nightmares, and ongoing sleep disruptions. They break down how chronic sleep difficulties can impact emotional regulation, anxiety, depression, and daily functioning—while also explaining what’s developmentally typical and what deserves closer attention.   This conversation also addresses teens seeking comfort in a parent’s bedroom at night, sleep differences in neurodivergent kids, and how parents can respond without increasing shame or fear. Dr. Roth and Dr. Shale offer clear guidance on sleep hygiene, clinical red flags, and how to find qualified behavioral sleep specialists when additional support is needed.  This episode offers clarity, reassurance, and practical guidance for parents navigating sleep challenges while supporting their child’s emotional and mental well-being. Here are some highlights from the episode: 00:00  Why Sleep Matters for Kids and Teens   01:30  What Insomnia Really Is   02:41  How Insomnia Affects Daily Functioning   05:47  How Chronic Sleep Problems Impact Mental Health   06:54  When Teens Still Go to Their Parents’ Bedroom   09:26  How to Address Clinical Sleep Concerns   11:35  When to Seek Medical Advice About Sleep Concerns and Bed Wetting  12:42  Common Parasomnias in Tweens and Teens   14:40  When Should Parents Be Concerned About Behaviors like Sleep Walking or Talking?   16:28  Nightmares During the Middle School Years   18:13  Sleep Hygiene Explained by Two Experts   20:44  Sleep in Neurodivergent Kids (e.g., ADHD, Autism): What It Can Look Like  27:19  How to Find a Behavioral Sleep Specialist   31:26  Book Recommendation: The Essential Guide to Children’s Sleep If your child is struggling with sleep—and you’re feeling unsure about what’s normal or what to do next—this episode provides expert insight, reassurance, and actionable guidance. Prefer Video?  Watch this episode Here on YouTube. ✉️ Sign up for our monthly parenting newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage):https://drscaronandallen.com/ 🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for more science-based conversations on parenting tweens, teens, and college-aged kids.

    33 min

  2. FEB 11

    My Teen Thinks School is Pointless: How Do I Help?

    When kids start saying school feels pointless, parents are often left wondering how to respond without lecturing, minimizing, or making things worse. How we respond in those moments can either shut kids down—or help them re-engage with learning and with us. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore what’s really happening when tweens and teens lose interest in school. They unpack why disengagement is so common during these developmental years, how pressure and “motivational speeches” often backfire, and what actually helps kids feel understood and supported. Drawing from clinical psychology, developmental science, and years of work with families, Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen walk parents through a clear, compassionate framework for responding when kids say they don’t care about school anymore. They discuss why validation is not the same as agreement, how curiosity opens the door to connection, and how parents can offer perspective and boundaries without escalating conflict. Together, they explore: Why kids disengage from school and learningWhat validation really looks like (and what it’s not)How curiosity builds trust and keeps conversations goingA powerful analogy for understanding effort and growthBalancing empathy with realistic expectationsWhen it may be time to involve professional supportHow to move from frustration to collaborative problem-solvingHere are some highlights from the episode: 00:00  The Last Thing Kids Want to Hear When School Feels Pointless 01:09  POV: Your Child Is Losing Interest in School 04:57  Step 1: Validate How Your Child Feels 06:35  What Validation Really Means 07:42  How Validation Builds Curiosity and Openness 08:04  Step 2: The Mr. Miyagi Analogy Explained 12:27  Offering a New Perspective on School and Learning 13:31  Step 3: Why Learning Isn’t Supposed to Be Easy 15:39  The Role of Effort and the Satisfaction of Accomplishment 16:44  Finding the Sweet Spot Between Support and Challenge 17:08  What Parents Need to Watch for Along the Way 19:38  When It’s Time to Check In With a Professional 21:03  How to Offer a Gentle Reality Check 22:26  Giving Kids Information to Make Better Decisions 25:42  Next Steps: Moving Into Problem-Solving Together 28:17  Holding Boundaries While Still Being Supportive If you’re parenting a child or teen who seems checked out, discouraged, or resistant around school—and you’re not sure how to help without damaging your relationship—this episode offers grounded, practical guidance to help you respond with clarity, confidence, and care. Watch this episode here on YouTube 🔔 Subscribe to The Parenting Pair Podcast for more science-based conversations on raising confident, resilient tweens, teens, and young adults. ✉️ Sign up for our monthly parenting newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage):https://drscaronandallen.com/

    31 min

  3. FEB 4

    Opposite Action: A DBT Tool For Big Emotions

    Strong emotions can powerfully shape how parents and teens react—but following every emotional urge doesn’t always lead to the outcomes we want. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, we discuss a practical, evidence-based way to respond differently when emotions are steering us toward behaviors that actually make things worse. Clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore the Opposite Action skill, a core concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). They explain how emotions naturally come with action urges—like withdrawing when we feel sad, lashing out when we’re angry, or avoiding situations that trigger anxiety—and why those urges are not always helpful or aligned with our goals. Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen walk parents through how Opposite Action works, when it’s appropriate to use, and how it can be applied both in parenting moments and in teens’ everyday lives. They discuss how choosing an action that goes against an emotional urge—when that urge isn’t serving us—can reduce emotional intensity over time and support healthier coping, connection, and decision-making. Together, they explore: How emotions drive automatic behaviorsWhy “doing what you feel like doing” can sometimes backfireWhat Opposite Action is and when to use itReal-life examples for parents, teens, and familiesHow modeling Opposite Action helps teens build emotional skillsHere are some highlights from the episode: 00:00  The Urge That Follows Emotion   00:50  There Are No Quick Fixes   01:21  Simple Tools to Hold Onto in Tough Moments   01:40  What Is the Opposite Action Tool?   03:44  When to Use Opposite Action   04:45  How the Opposite Action Tool Works   06:29  Different Ways to Practice Opposite Action   11:24  Building Awareness in the Moment   14:15  Remembering You Have This Option   15:39  How Opposite Action Builds a Sense of Empowerment   15:54  How Parents Can Share This Tool With Their Kids   16:28  Joining Your Child When They’re Struggling   19:08  Change Happens Over Time   20:15  We Use Opposite Action More Than We Realize   23:04  Our Emotions Don’t Always Have to Be in Charge   If you’re trying to help your teen manage big emotions—or working on your own emotional responses as a parent—this episode offers clear, practical guidance for choosing actions that support growth, regulation, and long-term well-being. Watch this episode here here on YouTube 🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for science-based parenting guidance on teens, tweens, emotional regulation, and parent-teen communication—hosted by two clinical psychologists and parents. ✉️ Sign up for our monthly parenting newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage):https://drscaronandallen.com/

    26 min

  4. JAN 28

    Before You React: How to Respond When Your Teen Tells You Something Shocking

    What should you say when your teen tells you something shocking, upsetting, or hard to hear? For many parents of tweens and teens, these moments trigger fear, anger, or panic—and even well-intended reactions can accidentally shut down communication and damage trust. What you do in the first few moments often determines whether your teen keeps talking… or stops sharing altogether. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen walk parents through a calmer, more effective way to respond when teens share difficult or concerning information. Using adolescent brain science and years of clinical experience, they explain: Why teens often don’t share everything right awayHow judgment (even subtle) quickly shuts teens downWhy staying emotionally regulated gives parents more influence—not lessHow listening first actually leads to better decision-makingAt the heart of the episode is a simple, research-informed 3-step framework parents can use to slow down before reacting and respond in ways that protect connection while still addressing real concerns. You’ll learn how to: Keep communication open when emotions are highRespond without lecturing, fixing, or overreactingBuild trust so teens are more likely to come to you againRepair the relationship—even if the conversation doesn’t go perfectlyThe 3 steps include: 1️⃣ Acknowledge the telling—even when what you hear is upsetting2️⃣ Ask for your teen’s perspective first before offering opinions3️⃣ Ask if they want your help instead of jumping straight into fixing If you’ve ever frozen, panicked, or reacted strongly after hearing something unexpected from your teen, this episode offers clear, practical guidance to help you respond with intention, regulate your own emotions, and stay connected during the hardest parenting moments. The two prior episodes of The Parenting Pair Podcast mentioned in this episode:   Episode 2, “Making Sense of our Teens’ Mistakes:” Click Here for YouTube Episode 27: “How Do I Stay Calm When I’m about to Lose It with my Teen or Tween?”  Click here for YouTube ⏱️ Episode Highlights 00:00 Why Your Reaction Matters When Teens Share Shocking Information00:43 The Moment Most Parents Fear02:00 How Your Response Shapes What Happens Next02:39 Why Parents Often Learn Things Later Than They Expect03:21 Why Teens Need Space to Figure Things Out05:15 Why Teens Shut Down When They Feel Judged05:52 What to Watch for When Your Teen Opens Up06:48 Why Teens Share More With Less Judgment07:12 Related Podcast Episodes to Explore07:53 Helping Teens Decide What to Do Next09:18 A 3-Step Framework for Responding Calmly09:37 Step 1: Acknowledge That They Told You10:57 Step 2: Ask for Their Perspective First12:04 What You Learn When You Truly Listen13:59 Step 3: Ask If They Want Your Help17:13 When and How to Share Your Concerns19:51 When Teens Don’t Appreciate Your Efforts (And Why That’s Okay)22:46 Repair Matters: You Can Always Apologize and Reconnect Watch this episode here on YouTube 🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for science-based parenting guidance on teens, tweens, emotional regulation, and parent-teen communication—hosted by two clinical psychologists and parents. ✉️ Sign up for our monthly parenting newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage):https://drscaronandallen.com/

    26 min

  5. JAN 21

    Teen Mental Health Crisis: How to Support Families When a Child Is Struggling

    When a teen or tween is experiencing a mental health crisis—such as depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts—parents and caregivers often feel scared, exhausted, and increasingly isolated. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen explore how to truly show up for families navigating a teen mental health crisis. They discuss a painful and often unspoken reality: families in crisis are frequently left out of social gatherings, receive fewer invitations, and feel increasingly alone—not because others don’t care, but because people don’t know what to say or how to help. This conversation explores why that withdrawal happens and how it can unintentionally deepen stress, shame, and disconnection for parents already under immense emotional strain. Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen offer practical, compassionate guidance for friends, extended family members, and communities who want to support families without overstepping, fixing, or offering unwanted advice. Together, they explore: Why parents of teens in a mental health crisis often feel isolated, excluded, and forgotten How uncertainty and discomfort cause people to pull away—even with good intentions What meaningful support actually looks like during a mental health crisis How to communicate care without minimizing, judging, or problem-solving Simple ways to stay connected with families navigating teen mental health challenges Why presence, consistency, and patience matter more than saying the “right” thingHere are some highlights from the episode: 00:00  How to Support Families Dealing With a Teen’s Mental Health Crisis   01:12  Mental Health Crises vs. Medical Crises: Why Responses Differ 03:09  Why Families in Crisis Often Feel Isolated   04:49  The Invisible Stress Parents Carry  05:29  What Actually Helps Families Feel Less Alone   06:40  Practical Ways to Show Up  06:53  1) Keep Showing Up, Even When It’s Uncomfortable   10:05  2) Let Families Know They Still Matter 10:48  3) Listen Without Trying to Fix  13:06  4) Keep Invitations Open Without Pressure   14:11  5) Handle Shared Information With Trust and Care   17:07  The Difference You Can Make  19:06  Why Kindness Takes Courage If you care about a family parenting a teen or tween through depression, anxiety, or a mental health crisis—and want to support them without increasing pressure or distance—this episode offers clear, compassionate guidance. Watch this episode Here on YouTube or 💬 Have a story or question? Email hello@theparentingpair.com — we love hearing from you! 🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for evidence-based conversations on parenting teens, mental health, and family well-being. ✉️ Sign up for our monthly newsletter (scroll to the bottom of our webpage): https://drscaronandallen.com/

    22 min

  6. JAN 14

    When Motivation Vanishes — How Parents Can Help Without Pushing

    Middle school is often the point where parents notice a sudden drop in motivation—and it can be confusing, frustrating, and even worrying to watch a once-engaged child seem checked out or uninterested. Sometimes what looks like “laziness” or a lack of effort is often something very different beneath the surface. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen unpack what’s really going on when teens appear unmotivated. They explore how developmental changes, school demands, emotional overwhelm, and fear of failure can all impact motivation during the middle and high school years—and why traditional approaches like pressure, rewards, or repeated reminders often backfire. The conversation focuses on how parents can respond in ways that support confidence, autonomy, and emotional safety, rather than increasing resistance or shutdown. Dr. Caron and Dr. Allen explain how motivation is closely tied to a child’s sense of competence, connection, and being understood—and how small shifts in parenting language and expectations can make a meaningful difference. Together, they discuss: Why kids usually already feel bad when they’re falling behindHow control, pressure, and repeated advice can reduce motivation over timeThe importance of respect and autonomy in maintaining engagementMoving from a “director” role to a “mentor” role as kids growWhy punishment doesn’t build motivation—and what has a better chance of successSimple environmental shifts that can support effort and follow-throughHere are some highlights from the episode: 00:00 — When Your Child Struggles: Parent Support is What Truly Matters 00:47 — Understanding Motivation in Middle School: How Parents Can Help 02:16 — Why Interest in Anything Is a Positive Sign 05:14 — Kids Usually Know When They’re Struggling 05:29 — Why Control and Constant Suggestions Can Backfire 07:03 — Why Teens Value Feeling Respected 07:44 — Shifting From “Director” to “Mentor” as a Parent 09:26 — The Hard Truth: You Can’t Make Your Teen Do Anything 11:31 — Two Very Different Ways to Talk About the Same Issue 13:26 — Book Recommendation: 10 to 25 — The Science of Motivating Young People 14:47 — Practicing Radical Acceptance of Different Paths and Timelines 16:39 — Why Punishment Does Not Create Motivation 18:17 — Holding High Expectations While Still Believing in Your Child 20:00 — Protecting the Parent–Child Relationship Above All 26:05 — Kids Do Best When Motivation Comes From Within 27:01 — Small Environmental Changes That Can Support Motivation 31:15 — When It’s Time to Seek Additional Support If you’re parenting a tween or teen who seems disengaged, resistant, or discouraged—and you’re not sure how to help without making things worse—this episode offers compassionate, developmentally informed guidance to help you support motivation while protecting your relationship. Resources that we mentioned in this episode: The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm10-25 The Science of Motivating Young People: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation and Making Your Own Life Easier by Dr. David Yeager https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/David-Yeager/200441584The Parenting Pair Podcast, Episode 32 Stop Relying on Willpower: Tips on Teen Motivation and Behavior Change (the make it easy, make it hard strategy). https://drscaronandallen.com/podcast/episode/stop-relying-on-willpower-tips-on-teen-motivation-and-behavior-change/Find us on our websitewatch this episode here on Youtube or follow us @theparentingpair on Instagram 💬 Have a story or question? Email hello@theparentingpair.com — we love hearing from you! 🔔 Subscribe to @theparentingpair for more expert insights on raising confident, resilient kids and teens.

    37 min

  7. JAN 7

    Re-Release: Making Sense of Our Teens' Mistakes

    Why do our teens keep messing up — and why do we sometimes lose our cool? 😫 In this episode, we dig into why mistakes are a normal part of adolescence — because teens are human just like us! We explore how their curiosity, need for independence, and brain development lead to errors, and why that’s actually healthy for their growth. We also talk about how our reactions as parents can often be driven by stress and fear, and how taking a moment to pause and breathe can transform those moments into opportunities for connection and understanding. Here are some highlights from the episode:00:00 — A New Year Reframe: “Being” Something Instead of “Doing” Something 08:16 — “Why Does My Teen Keep Messing Up?” 09:09 — Why Parents Get So Worried When Kids Make Mistakes 10:16 — The Real Reason Parents Overreact 10:37 — Why Teens Mess Up More Often Than We Expect 10:40 — Reason 1: Kids Are Human Too 10:43 — Reason 2: Development Is Still in Progress 17:23 — Why Pushing Limits Is a Normal Part of Adolescence 17:35 — Why the Conclusions We Jump To Are Often Wrong 18:04 — Possibility A: Your Teen May Be Doing Something Developmentally Normal 18:12 — Possibility B: Putting the Behavior in Context 18:23 — Possibility C: The Behavior May Be a Reaction 18:56 — How Challenging Behaviors Can Reflect Positive Intentions 19:24 — Possibility D: When Behavior Signals a Skills’ Deficit 20:56 — Shifting the Lens: Choosing to Look for the Good 22:49 — Why Parents Are More Likely to Lose It 26:06 — How to Pause and Avoid Overreacting 27:33 — The Cost of Parenting From Anxiety 29:43 — “Staying Here”: A Powerful Parenting Mantra 31:18 — Book Recommendation: Eight Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success Join us as we share real stories, practical tips, and a fresh perspective on handling mistakes with curiosity rather than overreaction. Because when we see their missteps as part of normal development, we can stay calmer, more compassionate, and build stronger relationships. 🎧 Tune in now — because parenting teens doesn’t have to feel like a constant battle. Let’s navigate these tricky moments together, with patience and a little humor. Find us on our websitewatch this episode here on Youtube or follow us @theparentingpair on Instagram 💬 Have a story or question? Email hello@theparentingpair.com — we love hearing from you!

    34 min

  8. 12/31/2025

    Re-Release: How To Stop Caring What Other Parents Think: 5 Mindset Shifts

    Do you ever find yourself second-guessing your parenting decisions… not because they feel wrong, but because you’re worried what other parents might think? Yeah — us too. In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, Dr. Suzanne Allen and Dr. Annalise Caron dive into five powerful mindset shifts to help you stop spiraling and start parenting from a place of confidence, clarity, and calm. You’ll learn: ✔️ How to connect with your best self as a parent ✔️ Why judgment is unavoidable — and fleeting ✔️ How to stop wasting energy trying to mind-read other parents ✔️ Why “your family, your call” is the healthiest mantra you can adopt ✔️ The power of showing kindness to other families — and yourself 🎯 Whether you’ve been side-eyed at the pickup line, judged over a playdate rule, or just feel pressure to “get it all right,” this episode is a breath of fresh air. 🧠 You’ll leave with practical tools, real-world examples, and permission to parent with confidence — even when your approach looks different. ⏱️ Chapters: 00:00 Connecting With Your Best Self as a Parent 01:55 Why parents feel judged—and why it matters 06:07 Mindset Shift #1: Reconnect with your best parenting self 08:40 Mindset Shift #2: Accept that judgment is fleeting 09:43 Mindset Shift #3: You’re not a mind reader 11:48 Mindset Shift #4: Your family, your call 14:48 Mindset Shift #5: Extend kindness to other parents 15:25 Reflection: How these shifts can help 17:03 What now: Modeling confidence for your teen 📩 Got a question for a future episode?  Email us at hello@theparentingpair.com Find us on our websitewatch this episode here on Youtube or follow us @theparentingpair on Instagram 🔔 Subscribe for more expert parenting insights on raising confident, resilient teens.

    20 min
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5
out of 5
32 Ratings

About

Welcome to The Parenting Pair Podcast! We’re Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen—child and adolescent clinical psychologists and moms of teens and tweens. After years of fielding questions at the bus stop, on the sidelines, and in our offices, we created this podcast to bring compassionate, evidence-based guidance straight to you. Each week, we tackle real questions from parents and explore all things related to teens, tweens, development and mental health. Together, we’ll offer practical support for navigating the ups and downs of raising tweens and teens—especially when challenges arise. You’re doing important work. Let’s do it together. Check out "The Parenting Pair" youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@TheParentingPair

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Annalise Caron & Dr. Suzanne Allen
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    42
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Dr. Annalise Caron & Dr. Suzanne Allen
  • Show Website
    The Parenting Pair Podcast

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