Parenting Beyond Meltdowns | Neurodivergent, ADHD, ODD, PDA, Defiant, Build Connection, Emotional Regulation, Dysregulated

Amanda Calfee - Christian Life Coach, Mama of Strong-willed & Neurodivergent Kiddos
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Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide!  Do you feel like you’ve tried everything  consequences, parenting books, well meaning parenting advice, crying out to the Father and still feel like you’re failing? Are you walking on eggshells, never knowing what will trigger your child’s next meltdown or shutdown? Have you felt dismissed or judged by church culture when your child didn’t behave the way they “should”? Do you find yourself yelling, shutting down, or spiraling with guilt praying that tomorrow will be different? I’m so glad you’re here. This podcast will help you regulate your emotions, reconnect with your child, and rebuild your confidence as a Christian mom without losing control, feeling ashamed, or fixing everything. You’ll learn how to show up with peace and presence, so you can parent without guilt and finally feel like yourself again. Hey, I’m Amanda  a certified Christian life coach, mom of Strong-willed & Neurodivergent Kiddos, as well as a former fix-it-all parenting researcher. For years, I chased every method that promised quick change. I believed if I just found the right consequence, parenting strategy, or routine, I could turn things around. But the more I tried to control, the more disconnected we became. Everything changed when I stopped parenting from fear and started anchoring in faith, emotional regulation, and connection. I let go of the pressure to fix behavior and began trusting God’s process not just for my child, but for myself, too. Now I help moms like you shift from survival mode into a grounded, grace-led way of being that transforms everything without changing your child. If you’re ready to parent beyond meltdowns with tools that are rooted in faith, emotional stability, and connection this podcast is for you. If you’re tired of parenting advice that shames you or strategies that backfire with your neurodivergent child… you’re not alone. Whether you’re raising a strong-willed kiddo, navigating sensory challenges, or questioning the parenting approach you were raised with… welcome. Grab your favorite beverage, take a deep breath, and let’s walk this road together one calm, connected step at a time.

  1. 1d ago

    65 | Struggling With Emotional Regulation? Why You Keep Falling Into Old Parenting Patterns

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide!   Have you ever walked away from your child's meltdown wondering why you reacted that way when you knew what you wanted to do differently? Feel frustrated because you've read the parenting books, listened to the podcasts, and learned about emotional regulation, but still find yourself yelling? Wonder if you'll ever be able to stay regulated and build connection with your child when things get hard? In This Episode In this episode of Parenting Beyond Meltdowns, we're exploring why understanding emotional regulation doesn't always mean you can access it when you're overwhelmed, triggered, or dysregulated. Whether you're parenting a strong-willed child or a neurodivergent child with ADHD, ASD, ODD, or PDA, those familiar reactions can return when you're navigating meltdowns, defiant behavior, or your own dysregulation. We'll talk about the difference between knowing what to do and actually living it, why old parenting patterns can feel so automatic, and how building connection begins with recognizing what's happening inside you. I'll also share why I've had to redefine what growth looks like in my own life, even after years of doing this work. Because becoming an anchored mama isn't about never getting triggered again. It's about learning how to return to truth, compassion, and connection when you do. Faith Anchor Romans 12:2 (ESV) “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Transformation isn't simply collecting more information. As we renew our minds through the Father's truth, we can begin practicing new responses, recognizing old patterns, and extending ourselves grace along the way. Micro Shift of the Week The next time you catch yourself thinking, I should be past this by now, pause and ask: “What am I learning to return to here?” Maybe it's compassion, curiosity, connection, or simply taking a breath and reconnecting with yourself and the Holy Spirit. Notice how you're learning to return, rather than measuring your growth by perfection. Links & Resources Join Me for the Rebuild Connection Holiday Workshop: Save Your Spot Here More Ways to Connect: Book a Right Fit Call Join the Insiders List Ask Amanda Instagram Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com Anchored Mamas Facebook Group If you’re interested in the essential oils I personally use to support my family, you can find my Young Living Favorites Here.     Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  2. Oct 1

    64 | Don’t Know What to Do Next? Parenting a Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child When You’re Afraid of Getting It Wrong

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide! Have you ever felt like if you could just find the right answer, everything with your child might finally be okay? Do you find yourself researching late at night, wondering if there’s something you haven’t tried yet? Are you afraid of making the wrong decision for your strong-willed or neurodivergent child? What if peace doesn’t come from knowing what happens next, but from trusting the Father when you can’t see the whole road? Episode Overview In this episode, we’re talking about what surrender can look like when parenting a strong-willed or neurodivergent child leaves you desperately searching for answers. I’m sharing about the season when our family hit rock bottom and I finally reached a place where I couldn’t fix, change, or control what was happening, and how that exposed just how much pressure I had been carrying to figure everything out myself. Whether you’re navigating meltdowns, dysregulation, defiant behavior, ADHD, ASD, ODD, PDA, school decisions, or simply wondering what your child needs next, seeking help and advocating for your child isn’t the problem. Surrender doesn’t mean becoming passive or giving up. It means continuing to take the next step without believing you have to carry your child’s entire future on your shoulders.  As we grow in emotional regulation and building connection with our child, we can learn to ask, “Father, what is mine to do today?” and trust Him with what isn’t. Faith Anchor “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5–6 ESV  Understanding can feel especially important when you’re desperate to know what to do for your child. But the invitation isn’t to have the whole road figured out. It’s to trust the One who can see what you cannot. Micro Shift of the Week When you notice your mind racing ahead into What if? How will I fix this? What if I get this wrong?, pause and ask... “Father, what is mine to do today?” If there’s a next step, take it. If there isn’t, practice trusting Him with what you cannot carry. You don’t need the whole roadmap, mama. You just need to trust the One walking the road with you.  Links & Resources • Book Anchored Mama Coaching: Learn more about coaching • Join the Insiders List: Become an Insider • Ask Amanda: Send Amanda your question • Instagram: Follow Amanda on Instagram • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group: Join Anchored Mamas If you’re interested in the essential oils and naturally minded products I personally use to support my family, you can find my Young Living Favorites Here.   Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  3. Sep 24

    63 | Why Calming Down Isn’t Always the Goal: Emotional Regulation With a Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide! Do you ever do all the “right” things to regulate your emotions and still feel angry? Have you ever prayed, journaled, taken a breath, tried to process what you’re feeling...and wondered why you still don’t feel calm? What if emotional regulation isn’t always about making the emotion go away? Why Calming Down Isn’t Always the Goal In this episode, we’re talking about what emotional regulation can look like when you’re parenting a strong-willed or neurodivergent child and the anger, hurt, or frustration just isn’t going away. I’m sharing a moment from my own parenting journey when I realized I could honor what I was feeling without allowing that emotion to decide how I showed up with my child. We’ll explore why anger may be covering something more tender underneath, like hurt, disappointment, fear, or grief, and why understanding those emotions matters. Whether you’re navigating meltdowns, defiant behavior, ADHD, ASD, ODD, PDA, or everyday dysregulation, you don’t have to wait until you feel completely calm before choosing your next response. Emotional regulation can also mean learning to experience a difficult emotion without automatically acting from it. Mama, you can make space for what you feel while allowing the Holy Spirit to help you choose who you want to be in the moment. Faith Anchor “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”  Galatians 5:22–23  Kindness, gentleness, and self-control don’t require you to pretend you aren’t angry. You can bring your honest emotions to the Father and allow the Holy Spirit to meet you right in the middle of them. Micro Shift of the Week The next time a big emotion isn’t processing as quickly as you’d like, acknowledge it and give it space. Then ask yourself: “Do I want to show up from what I’m feeling right now, or as the mama I want to be?” Links & Resources • Book Anchored Mama Coaching: https://amandacalfee.com/coaching • Join the Insiders List: https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list • Ask Amanda: https://www.videoask.com/f20plh96w • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/ • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas If you're interested in the essential oils I personally use, you can find my Young Living recommendations here.       Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  4. Sep 17

    62 | Feeling Disconnected After Meltdowns? What Building Connection With Your Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child Really Looks Like

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide!   Feeling disconnected from your child after a meltdown or hard moment? Do you ever lose your cool and immediately think, “I should know better by now”? Have you ever wondered if the yelling, slammed doors, or dysregulated moments mean you and your child aren’t as connected as you thought? What if building connection isn’t about avoiding hard moments, but learning how to find your way back afterward? In this episode, we’re talking about what building connection with your strong-willed or neurodivergent child actually looks like when parenting gets messy. I’m sharing a real moment with my son that reminded me that emotional regulation doesn’t mean we never become dysregulated, and connection doesn’t mean we never experience disconnection. Whether your child experiences meltdowns, defiant behavior, ODD, PDA, ADHD, ASD, or other forms of dysregulation, it can be easy to take one hard moment and turn it into a story about your entire relationship. You’ll hear why “we experienced disconnection” is very different from believing “we are disconnected,” and how that distinction can change what happens after a hard moment. We’ll also talk about repair, grace, and why taking responsibility for how you showed up doesn’t require turning your mistake into evidence that you’re the problem. Mama, your relationship doesn’t have to be perfect to be strong, safe, and deeply connected.   Faith Anchor: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1  The Holy Spirit can convict us, invite us to own what’s ours, and lead us toward repair without condemnation. Grace reminds us that a hard moment doesn’t get to define our identity or become the whole story of our relationship.   Micro Shift of the Week: The next time you and your child have a hard moment, ask yourself: “Did we experience disconnection, or am I telling myself that we are disconnected?” Own what’s yours, repair what needs repairing, and remind yourself: “This was a hard moment. It doesn’t have to become the story of our relationship.” Links & Resources: • Anchored Mama Coaching: Learn more or book a Right Fit Call • Join the Insiders List: Become an Insider • Ask Amanda: Send Amanda your question • Instagram: Follow Amanda on Instagram • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group: Join Anchored Mamas Community If you're interested in the essential oils I personally use, you can find my Young Living recommendations here.     Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  5. Sep 10

    61 | Is Fear Driving Your Parenting? Emotional Regulation When You Worry About Your Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child’s Future

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide! Do you ever notice yourself worrying about what your child’s behavior today could mean for their future? Do you find yourself trying harder to correct, warn, or control because you’re afraid of where their choices might lead? What if some of the pressure you feel in parenting isn’t coming from what’s happening right now, but from everything you’re afraid might happen tomorrow? Episode Highlights In this episode, we’re talking about how fear about the future can quietly begin driving your parenting with your strong-willed or neurodivergent child. When meltdowns, dysregulation, defiant behavior, or difficult choices happen, it can be easy for your mind to race ahead and imagine what today's struggle might mean five or ten years from now. Whether you're raising a child with ADHD, ASD, ODD, PDA, or navigating other forms of neurodivergence, that fear can affect your own emotional regulation and the way you respond to your child. I share a vulnerable story from one of the hardest seasons with my son and something I’m recognizing again now that my kids are older: control can feel like safety, but they aren’t the same thing. We’ll explore what it looks like to recognize when fear has carried you into tomorrow, return to what is actually yours to do today, and create more space for building connection with your child. Mama, you don’t have to know exactly how your child’s story ends to begin experiencing more peace today. Faith Anchor "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34 ESV Micro Shift of the Week When you notice fear rising around your child’s behavior, ask yourself: Am I parenting what is happening today, or am I reacting to what I’m afraid might happen tomorrow? If you realize your mind has raced ahead, gently remind yourself: “I’m in tomorrow right now.” Then ask, What is actually mine to do today? Links & Resources • Anchored Mama Coaching: Learn more or book a Right Fit Call • Join the Insiders List: Become an Insider • Ask Amanda: Send Amanda your question • Instagram: Follow Amanda on Instagram • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group: Join Anchored Mamas Community If you're interested in the essential oils I personally use, you can find my Young Living recommendations here.     Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  6. Sep 3

    60 | When Everyone Sees a Defiant Child: Seeing Who Your Strong-willed or Neurodivergent Child Really Is

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide! When your child is labeled defiant, difficult, or disrespectful, do you wish people could see the child you know underneath the behavior? Have you ever thought, “If they could just understand my child, they would see there is so much more going on here”? And mama, when the meltdowns and challenging behavior keep coming, do you ever wonder if you’re struggling to see past the behavior too? In this episode, we’re talking about what it means to truly see your strong-willed or neurodivergent child, especially when the rest of the world may only see defiant behavior, meltdowns, or dysregulation. Whether your child has ADHD, ODD, PDA or ASD, challenging behavior can easily become the lens through which others see them, and sometimes, without realizing it, the lens through which we see them too. I share a moment from reading To Kill a Mockingbird with my daughter that made me reflect on the years I spent wishing other people could see who my son really was beneath his behavior. We’ll explore how nervous system dysregulation and being dysregulated can communicate that a child is struggling, without allowing that behavior to become their identity. Emotional regulation and building connection aren’t about excusing harmful behavior or abandoning boundaries, but about learning to see the person standing in front of us while we address what happened. Mama, when the world struggles to understand your child, home can become the place where they know they are still seen, known, and deeply loved. Micro Shift of the Week: The next time your child’s behavior becomes so big that it’s difficult to see anything else, pause and ask: “What might I see if I looked beneath the behavior?” You don’t have to immediately know the answer. Simply become willing to look.   Links & Resources: • Book A Right Fit Call: https://amandacalfee.com • Join the Insiders List: https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list • Ask Amanda: https://www.videoask.com/f20plh96w • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/ • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas     Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  7. Aug 27

    59 | The #1 Reason Your Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child’s Meltdowns Feel Like Proof You’re a Bad Mom

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide!   Do your strong-willed or neurodivergent child’s meltdowns ever feel like proof that you’re doing something wrong? When your child becomes dysregulated or defiant, do you immediately wonder, “If I were a better mom, would they still act this way?” Have you ever noticed how quickly your child’s hardest moments can become a story about who you are as a mom?   In this episode… we’re uncovering the #1 reason your strong-willed or neurodivergent child’s meltdowns can feel like proof that you’re a bad mom: somewhere along the way, their behavior may have become connected to your identity. When your child is dysregulated, defiant, or having big meltdowns, it can be easy to believe their behavior says something about how well you’re parenting. Amanda shares how she spent years measuring herself by her child’s behavior and how that belief affected her own emotional regulation and reactions. Whether you’re parenting a child with ADHD, ASD, ODD, PDA, or simply navigating the intensity of raising a strong-willed child, you’ll discover a different way to look at behavior. Instead of allowing behavior to become an identity statement about you or your child, what if you could begin seeing it as information? This simple perspective shift can create more space for curiosity, emotional regulation, and building connection, even in the middle of dysregulation. Your identity was never meant to rise and fall with your child’s behavior, mama. You can anchor your identity in the Father and choose how you want to show up, even when the moment is hard. Faith Anchor “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1  Your hardest parenting moment does not get to define who you are. You can acknowledge what you want to change, repair when needed, and continue growing without allowing shame to become your identity. Micro-Shift of the Week The next time your child’s behavior triggers the thought, “I’m failing,” simply notice it: “I’m making my child’s behavior mean something about me right now.” Then ask yourself: “What if this behavior is information, not identity?” You don’t have to force yourself into a new thought. Just create enough space to get curious about what else might be true. Links & Resources • Book Anchored Mama Coaching: Book a call to see if it’s a good fit • Join the Insiders List: Become an Insider • Ask Amanda: Send Amanda a Question • Instagram: Amanda Calfee on Instagram • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group:Anchored Mamas Facebook Group   Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

  8. Aug 20

    58 | Back-to-School Behavior: Defiant or Dysregulated? What Your Child Is Really Trying to Tell You

    Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide!   Have you ever gotten a call or message from school about your child’s behavior and immediately wondered what everyone must think? Does your strong-willed or neurodivergent child hold it together all day only to completely fall apart when they get home? Have you ever wondered if what looks defiant might actually be dysregulation? Do you find yourself making your child’s hard behavior mean something about who they are—or about the kind of mama you are?   In this episode, we’re talking about what may really be happening underneath back-to-school meltdowns, defiant behavior, and emotional dysregulation. When a strong-willed or neurodivergent child with ADHD, ASD, ODD, or PDA is adjusting to new routines, expectations, sensory input, transitions, and social demands, what looks like disobedience may actually be a dysregulated nervous system trying to communicate. I’m sharing stories from my own parenting journey and the perspective I wish I’d had when my son was younger: behavior is communication, but behavior is not identity. We’ll talk about emotional regulation, building connection, and what changes when we stop asking, “What’s wrong with my child?” and begin wondering, “What might my child be experiencing?” And mama, this shift isn’t only about seeing your child differently...it can help you stop carrying every difficult school day as evidence that something is wrong with you, too. With the Father’s help, you can learn to meet the same hard parenting moments with greater compassion, curiosity, connection, and peace. Peace is possible, mama...not because every school day will go perfectly, but because the Holy Spirit can anchor you as you learn to see your child, yourself, and those hard moments differently.   Faith Anchor: “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.” — Psalm 103:13 NIV The Father leads us with compassion, and we can learn to offer that same compassion to our children. A hard behavior doesn’t have to define your child—or determine how you respond.   Micro Shift of the Week: The next time your child has a meltdown, shuts down, or behaves in a way that feels defiant, pause before deciding what the behavior means. Ask yourself, “What might my child be experiencing right now?” Then ask the Father to help you see what’s underneath the behavior and respond from compassion instead of fear.   Links & Resources: • Book Anchored Mama Coaching: amandacalfee.com/coaching • Join the Insiders List: amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list • Ask Amanda: Send Amanda a question • Instagram: @amandacalfee • Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com • Facebook Group: Anchored Mamas Facebook Group • Essential Oils: Amanda’s Young Living Essential Oils     Disclaimer I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. The information shared in this podcast, my coaching, and any Young Living recommendations are for educational and faith-based encouragement only. Nothing shared is intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any physical or mental health condition. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed therapist for concerns regarding your or your child’s health, emotions, or well-being.

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Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 2.5% of Podcasts Worldwide!  Do you feel like you’ve tried everything  consequences, parenting books, well meaning parenting advice, crying out to the Father and still feel like you’re failing? Are you walking on eggshells, never knowing what will trigger your child’s next meltdown or shutdown? Have you felt dismissed or judged by church culture when your child didn’t behave the way they “should”? Do you find yourself yelling, shutting down, or spiraling with guilt praying that tomorrow will be different? I’m so glad you’re here. This podcast will help you regulate your emotions, reconnect with your child, and rebuild your confidence as a Christian mom without losing control, feeling ashamed, or fixing everything. You’ll learn how to show up with peace and presence, so you can parent without guilt and finally feel like yourself again. Hey, I’m Amanda  a certified Christian life coach, mom of Strong-willed & Neurodivergent Kiddos, as well as a former fix-it-all parenting researcher. For years, I chased every method that promised quick change. I believed if I just found the right consequence, parenting strategy, or routine, I could turn things around. But the more I tried to control, the more disconnected we became. Everything changed when I stopped parenting from fear and started anchoring in faith, emotional regulation, and connection. I let go of the pressure to fix behavior and began trusting God’s process not just for my child, but for myself, too. Now I help moms like you shift from survival mode into a grounded, grace-led way of being that transforms everything without changing your child. If you’re ready to parent beyond meltdowns with tools that are rooted in faith, emotional stability, and connection this podcast is for you. If you’re tired of parenting advice that shames you or strategies that backfire with your neurodivergent child… you’re not alone. Whether you’re raising a strong-willed kiddo, navigating sensory challenges, or questioning the parenting approach you were raised with… welcome. Grab your favorite beverage, take a deep breath, and let’s walk this road together one calm, connected step at a time.

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