I Have ADHD Podcast Kristen Carder

Have you noticed that your relationships look different than other people? Friendships and partnerships are harder for adults with ADHD, largely due to the fact that we’re highly sensitive to rejection.

Research has shown that ADHDers have experienced more rejection than their neurotypical peers. This results in several relational tendencies that can lead to toxic dynamics.

Because they know how awful it feels for people to be upset with them, they constantly say yes to other people, even when their plate is already full. They spend time with people who don’t fill their cups. They exhaust themselves by overcommitting to avoid the feeling of rejection.

Adults with ADHD also tend to dismiss red flags and not hold others accountable for their flaws because they know they’re also hard to live with (they’re often late, they talk too much, they’re impatient, etc.).

These tendencies can result in some truly toxic, boundaryless relationships. But there are things you can do to change the dynamic and put yourself in the driver’s seat of your relationships.

In this episode, I’m giving an overview of relationship dynamics with ADHD. You’ll leave with several immediate steps you can take to create a healthier view of relationships.

And, if you want an in-depth look at how ADHD can impact your relationships, be sure to check out my four-part series (starting at episode 178) on relationships and ADHD or my series on rejection-sensitive dysphoria (beginning at episode 204).

If you’re feeling really inspired after listening today, I encourage you to join my group coaching program, FOCUSED. In 2024, I’ll be teaching brand new content on how to have self-trust even when you have ADHD. You don’t want to miss out!

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE

AG1 Athletic Greens

Over the past three episodes, we’ve been talking about the basics of ADHD and how you can live your best life with this neurodivergent condition. It’s a great beginner ADHD series for anyone who needs a refresher or is curious to learn more.

My stance is that ADHD is NOT a superpower, despite what you may have seen on social media or heard from well-respected people in the industry. On the contrary, it’s a massive privilege to thrive with ADHD.

I believe people with ADHD are incredible and can lead wonderful lives. But to do this, they have to choose to live in the reality of what it means to have ADHD and have lots of access to treatment, coping strategies, and support.

In this episode, I’m sharing the five steps you should take if you want to finally gain control of your life as an adult ADHDer. These steps include getting an accurate diagnosis and educating yourself about ADHD.

I get it - not everyone is privileged to get the correct diagnosis and treatment plan. Not everyone can have the supportive relationships needed to help tackle adult ADHD. To those friends, I say, continue listening to my podcast for tips and tricks.

I promise to share everything I can to help you feel confident in the beautiful life you’re creating. Remember: We all start somewhere. It’s OK to feel overwhelmed by ADHD, but with the right tools, you can make big improvements in your life.

I also encourage you to check out my group coaching program FOCUSED which has helped thousands of people live the life they want, and it can help you too.

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE. 

Is ADHD a superpower? Is it not a superpower? We’ll talk about that today, in our “Getting Back to Basics” series, part 2.

If you’ve been around here a while, you know that my position is – NO! ADHD is not a superpower. It’s not a gift. It’s not awesome!

When people say ADHD is a gift or a superpower, they point to traits like creativity, hyperfocus, and inventiveness.

So sure, Simon Sinek, if you’re a rich, white, super smart, privileged man, you can look at some of the qualities that you have and say – “ADHD is an amazing quality of my life.”

But here’s the thing: If you’re a student struggling in school with very few resources, without the privilege of a diagnosis, treatment, or support, who’s being made fun of or rejected by their peers, then – NO, ADHD is not a gift. 

Labeling ADHD as a superpower invalidates people who are struggling with this neurodevelopmental disorder. It can even lead to victim-blaming: “If ADHD is awesome, then I’m the problem.”

In my opinion, this is not the right way to address ADHD. It’s actually quite the opposite.

I worked for a decade with students and their parents. I, myself, am a parent to two children with ADHD. I’ve found out, time and again, that telling children the truth, validating their struggles, and giving them coping skills is a better way to go.

Saying ADHD is awesome invalidates your true experience and reality. Instead, understand ADHD challenges and understand how to cope and reach out for help and support.

It's so important for us to live in the reality of what ADHD is and how it affects us.

As you navigate your ADHD journey, I want you to know that YOU are amazing, not ADHD. YOU are the gift, not ADHD. Your personality, your goodness, and your generosity are all gifts. Don’t let ADHD take the credit for your badassery!

If you want help better understanding the role ADHD plays in your life, I invite you to check out my group coaching program FOCUSED. Come join our incredible community of like-minded people who are learning to thrive with their diagnosis instead of just surviving.

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.

AG1 by Athletic Greens

Hello, my friend. I’m so glad that you’re here and that you’re taking steps to live your best life while you’re on this ADHD journey. Today, we’re going back to the basics of ADHD — because sometimes the noise can cause us to forget what’s *actually* going on inside these beautiful brains of ours. 🧠

Those of us who were diagnosed with ADHD as adults often try to mask our symptoms and hide them from the outside world because we are so used to experiencing rejection as children. If we don’t get the support we need, it can be easy to let these symptoms debilitate us and hinder our progress in life.

If you feel you have ADHD, I’m here to encourage you to talk to a clinician. Have a convo with someone who knows about the disorder and can help you navigate your symptoms. You can also visit my website for a full list of ADHD symptoms.

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE. 

When it comes to the way we function as adults, our family history plays a much larger role than many of us think. In this podcast episode, I’m talking with FOCUSED member CJ about generational trauma and its impact on adult ADHDers.

Growing up, CJ's parents emotionally neglected her as they were dealing with their own emotional immaturity and symptoms of ADHD. Meanwhile, CJ was struggling with undiagnosed ADHD which caused her to act out without anyone to turn to.

When she received an official ADHD diagnosis at 51 years old, CJ started to research the symptoms and realized her family was heavily affected by ADHD. This realization helped her start to make sense of some of the generational trauma she experienced as a child and teen.

It also helped to explain her impulsive, risk-taking behavior growing up. CJ was always unaware of her actions, lacked self-awareness, and never understood why people reacted to her the way they did.

As an adult, she carried some of this emotional dysregulation with her. Fortunately, through therapy and life coaching, she was able to work through some of her own trauma to prevent handing it down to her daughter.

If you’ve experienced generational trauma that you know has impacted your life, I highly recommend you seek out a trauma-informed therapist or coach to help you. You might want to check out my group coaching program, FOCUSED, which is a safe space where you can join others like you who are recognizing the effects of their history and beginning to thrive as an adult with ADHD.

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE. 

Fair warning: this episode brings the heat. This is a topic I’ve felt compelled to discuss a lot lately, and I’m not holding back.

As adults with ADHD, our brains are reactive. This means that when there’s a stimulus (aka phone notification, a child calling for you, etc.), our brains are naturally triggered to react. We lack impulse control, so our instinct is to respond immediately.

Someone who's proactive, on the other hand, will slow down first. They’ll take a breath and decide when it’s in their best interest to react. They don’t act out of impulse, and they aren’t constantly putting out fires or managing other people’s issues at their own expense.

So, how do you morph into someone proactive as an ADHDer? First, you have to take care of your most basic needs. Be sure you’re medicating, staying hydrating, getting into nature, and moving your body in a way that feels good to you.

Secondly, you MUST decide what you want and be willing to fight for it. You cannot create or control a situation if you don’t know what you want. Give yourself the space and time to find out what you want. And remember: to live the life you want, you can’t keep pleasing other people.

In this episode, I’m breaking down everything I wish I’d known years ago about being a proactive human, including why it’s important to stop saying yes to everyone else’s request so I can start living in reactive mode.

If you want a safe space together where you can feel seen and heard as you go through this work, I invite you to check out FOCUSED, my group coaching program for adults with ADHD. Inside FOCUSED, I can take care of you and support you as we work through this together.

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE.

AG1 by Athletic Greens