Tender & Twisted

Lex and Jess G.

Welcome to Tender & Twisted: a true crime podcast with a therapeutic lens. We break down curious cases, taboo topics, and infamous stories by exploring the humanness beneath the headlines. As queer mental health professionals ourselves, we’re drawn to intensity and strangeness, and aim to explore it all with curiosity, compassion, and understanding. Join us as we unpack the mental health of cult leaders and individuals convicted of severe offenses through an anti-racist social justice lens.

Episodes

  1. Jan 26

    Jodi Hildebrandt: From Therapist to Cult Leader

    In this episode, we take a deeper dive into Jodi Hildebrandt — a former licensed therapist who presented herself as a moral and spiritual authority and later became a central figure in a widely reported child abuse case. You may remember Jodi from our Ruby Franke episode, but today we shift the focus fully onto her: her background, her belief system, and how a person trained in mental health moved from therapist, to life coach, to claiming a unique access to “truth” — while facing serious ethical and professional consequences. We explore Jodi’s upbringing in a strict LDS household, her early fixation on purity and moral perfectionism, and how reported trauma, rigid belief structures, and a desire for control appear to have shaped the framework she later imposed on others. We unpack her professional rise, her involvement in porn addiction treatment, the violations that led to the suspension of her therapy license, and her eventual rebrand into Connexions — a hierarchical, faith-based coaching model that framed obedience as healing and disagreement as moral failure. From there, we examine the people who were impacted: former clients, members of Connexions, her own family, Jessi (her nibling who has publicly shared their experiences), and the Franke children — whose suffering was reportedly framed as “treatment.” We discuss how isolation, fear, and spiritual authority were used as tools of control, and how Jodi embedded herself into families and decision-making structures. This episode isn’t just about one person — it’s about what can happen when unregulated power goes unchecked, when belief replaces evidence, and when systems fail to intervene. We also look at Jodi’s arrest, court proceedings, and public statements following her conviction, as well as how she continues to describe her actions. Content Warning: child abuse, spiritual manipulation, coercive control, abuse of power

  2. Jan 12

    Candy Montgomery: The Cost of Perfectionism

    On the morning of June 13, 1980, in the quiet suburb of Wylie, Texas, Candy Montgomery went to her friend Betty Gore’s house to pick up a child’s swimsuit. By the end of that visit, Betty was dead — struck forty-one times with an axe by a woman who had once been her closest ally. In this episode, we unpack one of the most disturbing and psychologically complex true-crime cases of the 1980s, recently re-imagined in Love and Death (HBO) and Candy (Hulu). But beyond the headlines and dramatizations, this story is really about emotional repression, gendered expectations, and what happens when a “perfect” life becomes a pressure cooker. We explore the world that shaped these women — a tightly knit Methodist church community where politeness, conformity, and appearances mattered more than emotional honesty. Candy Montgomery was everything this world rewarded: organized, cheerful, socially fluent, and endlessly accommodating. Betty Gore, by contrast, was isolated, newly postpartum, struggling, and quietly unraveling while her husband carried on an affair with Candy. As we trace how a carefully planned affair spiraled into betrayal, jealousy, and finally violence, we examine the psychological forces at play: dissociation, suppressed rage, high sensation-seeking, and the breaking point of a woman who had spent a lifetime being “good.” We also dig into the controversial trial that followed — including the use of hypnosis, the dissociation defense, and how Candy’s presentation as a soft-spoken, respectable white woman shaped the jury’s decision to acquit her. What does it mean when the justice system believes someone who looks safe? And what happens when empathy and accountability collide? This is not just a story about murder — it’s a story about motherhood, repression, desire, and the dark things that can grow inside a life that looks perfect from the outside. Content Warning: graphic violence, homicide, infidelity

  3. 12/22/2025

    Psychedelics: Mental Health & Meaning-Making

    In this episode, we take a thoughtful, grounded journey into the world of psychedelics — not as a trend or a cure-all, but as a powerful lens for understanding consciousness, mental health, and the stories we tell about ourselves. We explore psychedelics through history, culture, and neuroscience, asking why humans across time have been drawn to altered states — from Indigenous spiritual practices to modern clinical research. We unpack what it means to be a psychonaut, tracing the evolution of psychedelic exploration from the 1960s counterculture to today’s renewed interest in therapeutic and medical settings. Along the way, we discuss influential figures like Timothy Leary, Ram Dass, Ken Kesey, and Michael Pollan, and examine how psychedelics moved from laboratories to living rooms, from taboo to treatment, and back into serious scientific inquiry. From a mental health perspective, we break down how psychedelics interact with the brain — particularly the Default Mode Network — and why quieting the mind’s inner narrator can lead to profound shifts in perspective, reduced rumination, increased emotional flexibility, and new pathways for healing trauma, depression, and addiction. We also explore concepts like ego dissolution, neuroplasticity, and why the “afterglow” phase is such a powerful window for change and integration. Finally, we walk through the anatomy of a psychedelic experience — set and setting, the phases of a trip, emotional intensity, meaning-making, and integration — with an emphasis on respect, preparation, and psychological safety. This episode isn’t about encouraging use — it’s about understanding why these experiences can be so impactful, how they work in the brain, and what they reveal about the human need for connection, healing, and expanded awareness. Whether you’re curious, cautious, or deeply interested in the science of the mind, this episode invites you to explore what happens when the usual stories loosen — and something new becomes possible. Content Warning: discussion of substance use and mental health Disclaimer: This episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only. We are not providing medical or therapeutic advice. Psychedelic experiences are highly individual and may not be safe or appropriate for everyone. Always consult qualified medical or mental health professionals.

  4. 12/08/2025

    Mary Kay Letourneau: Abuse Disguised as Romance

    In this episode, we dive into the disturbing, complicated, and often misrepresented case of Mary Kay Letourneau — the Washington teacher who groomed and sexually abused her 12-year-old student, Vili Fualaau. Decades later, the story is still warped by media sensationalism, “tabloid romance” narratives, and cultural double standards around female perpetrators. We’re stripping away the myth to explore what actually happened, what was missed, and the lifelong impact on Vili. We start by unpacking Mary Kay’s background: her rigid Catholic upbringing, political family steeped in hypocrisy, early signs of emotional instability, and the deep manipulation and performance she showed in interviews. Then we shift to Vili — a vulnerable, artistic kid navigating financial instability, craving connection, and completely unequipped for the adult dynamics Mary forced onto him. From the illegal relationship itself to the 1997 arrest, plea deals, pregnancies, and the famous no-contact order violation, we detail the case through a mental-health and trauma-informed lens. We look at diagnoses like severe bipolar disorder, narcissistic traits, and emotional dysregulation. Finally, we explore the long-term impact: the complicated marriage, the media’s warped portrayal, the trauma bond, their eventual separation, and the nuanced, heartbreaking interviews Vili gave after Mary Kay’s death. This episode is about abuse, delusion, coercive control, and the danger of romanticized narratives that ignore harm. Content Warning: sexual abuse of a minor, grooming, exploitation, mental illness, and legal consequences.

  5. 11/24/2025

    BTK: The Serial Killer Next Door

    Dennis Rader seemed like the last person you’d suspect: a church council president, a devoted father, a Boy Scout leader, and the neighborhood rule-enforcer who always waved hello. But behind the clean-cut façade lived one of America’s most methodical and narcissistic serial killers — the man who called himself BTK: Bind. Torture. Kill. In this episode, Jess G and Lex break down the chilling duality that allowed Rader to hide in plain sight for over 30 years. We trace his early emotional deprivation, the development of an escalating fantasy life, and the compulsive need for control that shaped his violent “projects” — all while he maintained the image of a stable suburban family man. We walk through the timeline of BTK’s murders, the letters that built his persona, and the long silences where he lived quietly among the very community he terrorized. We also unpack the psychological mechanisms behind his double life — compartmentalization, narcissism, ritualization — and how these ultimately paved the way for his downfall in one of the most bizarre arrests in true crime history: a floppy disk, a metadata blunder, and a killer convinced of his own invincibility. Finally, we explore the family’s perspective, the generational impact of discovering your father is a serial murderer, and the complex grief and betrayal that followed. Join us as we step into the unsettling world of BTK — a case that forces us to confront the monstrousness that can hide beneath everyday normalcy, and the terrifying power of a well-maintained mask. Content Warning: homicide, torture, sexual deviance, psychological manipulation, familial trauma, deception

  6. 11/03/2025

    Ed Gein: Mommy Issues & the Birth of Modern Horror

    In 1957, the world met Ed Gein — a quiet farmer from Wisconsin whose crimes would forever change the landscape of horror. Though often mislabeled as a “serial killer,” Gein’s story sits at the eerie crossroads of delusion, grief, and obsession. His farmhouse was found filled with human remains repurposed into furniture, clothing, and masks — the product of a shattered psyche and a lifetime of religious abuse and isolation. In this episode, we dive into the psychological underpinnings of Ed’s crimes, exploring his relationship with his domineering mother, his descent into psychosis, and how trauma and religious fanaticism shaped his distorted sense of morality. We also discuss the blurred line between delusion and evil intent — and how Gein’s story inspired some of America’s most iconic horror films, including Psycho, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Silence of the Lambs. Join us as we untangle the dark psychology behind one of true crime’s most infamous cases — and ask what our fascination with stories like Ed’s reveals about us. Content Warning: severe mental illness, trauma, ghoulish violence, homicide

  7. 10/20/2025

    Ruby Franke: When Parenting Becomes a Cult

    In one of the most disturbing cases of parental abuse and spiritual coercion in recent years, 8 Passengers momfluencer Ruby Franke and her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt—founder of the “life coaching” group Connexions—were arrested after Ruby’s 12-year-old son escaped their home emaciated and bound with duct tape. What began as family vlogging and “tough love” parenting spiraled into a high-control, cult-like system of punishment justified as spiritual correction. In this episode, we unpack how a culture obsessed with moral purity and family image helped enable the abuse—and how Jodi’s radicalized “truth vs. distortion” teachings turned ordinary discipline into psychological warfare. We explore the intersection of religious perfectionism, influencer culture, and manipulation, asking: how did a mother who claimed to be protecting her children end up harming them in the name of love? Along the way, we look at Utah’s unique vulnerability to high-control groups, Jodi’s transformation from Mormon therapist to self-styled prophet, Ruby’s descent from suburban mom to co-abuser, and the courtroom statements that blurred the line between remorse and self-delusion. It’s a chilling reminder of what happens when spiritual authority, shame, and control collide—and how the language of “truth” can be weaponized to justify unthinkable harm. Content Warning: child abuse, brainwashing, spiritual manipulation

  8. 10/06/2025

    Gabby Petito & Brian Laundrie: When Van Life Turns Deadly

    In 2021, the disappearance of 22-year-old Gabby Petito and the subsequent death of her fiancé, Brian Laundrie, captured national attention. But beyond the headlines and nonstop media coverage lies a deeper story of coercive control, red flags that went unnoticed, and the devastating consequences of domestic violence. In this episode, we revisit Gabby and Brian’s relationship, from the excitement of their van-life journey to the disturbing dynamics revealed in police encounters, text messages, and Brian’s final writings. We’ll explore how family dynamics, manipulation, and missed opportunities for intervention shaped this tragedy—and what has changed in the wake of Gabby’s death. Join us as we dig into the tender and twisted truths behind one of the most publicized cases of the decade. Content Warning: domestic violence, manipulation, suicide

  9. 09/22/2025

    Twin Flames Universe: Love at Any Cost

    Twin flames or toxic flames? In this episode, we dig into Twin Flames Universe — the high-control online group led by Jeff and Shaleia Divine. Marketed as a path to love and spiritual ascension, TFU has instead been accused of manipulation, financial exploitation, and disturbing gender ideology. We’ll unpack where the idea of “twin flames” came from, how Jeff and Shaleia built their empire, and the harmful practices that keep members hooked — from the so-called “Mirror Exercise,” to high-cost coaching packages, to redefining people’s identities for control. Along the way, we’ll look at the human vulnerabilities that cult-like groups prey on: heartbreak, loneliness, the longing to belong. Join us as we explore the tender and the twisted sides of love, devotion, and power. Content Warning: emotional abuse, coercion, high-control group, forced gender ideology

  10. 09/09/2025

    Medical Aid in Dying: Grief, Loss & Autonomy

    Today we’re stepping away from true crime to tackle a taboo subject: medical aid in dying (MAID). We break down what MAID actually is, the process involved, and why it remains such a charged and controversial topic. From ethics and autonomy to grief, family dynamics, and personal stories, we explore the messy, complicated, and deeply human sides of choosing when and how to die. We’ll also talk about how MAID impacts loved ones, whether it eases or complicates grief, and share our own raw reactions, discomforts, and reflections. This isn’t an easy conversation — but it’s one worth having. Content warning: death, grief, suicide, addiction, and medical aid in dying

  11. 09/09/2025

    Luigi Mangione & the CEO Assassination

    On December 4, 2024, UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was shot and killed outside a Manhattan hotel. Within days, 26-year-old Luigi Mangione — valedictorian, Ivy League grad, and outspoken critic of the U.S. healthcare system — was arrested and charged with the murder. This isn’t your typical true crime case. In this episode, we look beyond the headlines to explore who Mangione is, what shaped his worldview, and the manifesto that framed the killing as a symbolic attack on a system he believed was broken beyond repair. We’ll also dive into the ethical dilemmas this case raises: Can we separate ideology from violence? How do privilege, mental health, and public perception influence the way we view perpetrators — and victims? And why has Mangione inspired both condemnation and a #FreeLuigi movement online? Content warning: gun violence, political themes

  12. 09/08/2025

    Bryan Kohberger & the Idaho Student Murders

    On November 13, 2022, four University of Idaho students — Maddie Mogen, Kaylee Goncalves, Xana Kernodle, and Ethan Chapin — were brutally murdered in their off-campus home in Moscow, Idaho. The crime stunned the small college town and drew national attention as investigators searched for answers. In this episode, we move past the headlines and documentaries to focus on the mind behind the crime: Bryan Kohberger. Who was he before the murders, and what shaped his inner world? From childhood bullying and struggles with mental health to his obsessive online postings and criminology career, we explore the complex, unsettling portrait that has emerged. We also ask harder questions: How do diagnoses intersect with violence? What role do isolation and rage play in shaping a person’s choices? And what systemic failures might have been missed along the way? Content warning: violence, trauma, mental illness

  • 12 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Welcome to Tender & Twisted: a true crime podcast with a therapeutic lens. We break down curious cases, taboo topics, and infamous stories by exploring the humanness beneath the headlines. As queer mental health professionals ourselves, we’re drawn to intensity and strangeness, and aim to explore it all with curiosity, compassion, and understanding. Join us as we unpack the mental health of cult leaders and individuals convicted of severe offenses through an anti-racist social justice lens.

Information

  • Creator
    Lex and Jess G.
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Lex and Jess G.
  • Show Website
    Tender & Twisted

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