Healing Is My Hobby

Jessica Colarco

Discover what heals you—mind, body, and soul. Hosted by licensed therapist Jessica Colarco, Healing Is My Hobby is a cozy space where clinical wisdom meets real-life healing. Each week, we explore mental health topics like anxiety, stress, depression, and burnout—with simple tools and compassionate insight to help you feel better. But this isn’t just talk therapy. Jessica also takes you along on her own healing journey—whether she’s trying a salt cave, diving into a life-changing book, or experimenting with new wellness rituals. This podcast is your invitation to learn, grow, and play with what healing can look like in your own life. Because healing doesn’t have to be heavy. It can be curious. Creative. Even fun.

  1. 5d ago

    The Shame That Lives in Your Body

    We close out May with the deepest layer of shame work yet. In this final episode of our shame and self-worth series, Jessica reframes shame not as a character flaw or a belief system — but as a trauma response. One that lives in the body, wires itself into the nervous system, and follows us long past the environments that first created it. This episode unpacks the neurobiology of shame, the connection between early attachment wounds and the shame we carry into adulthood, and what it actually looks like to begin healing at the level where the wound lives. If you've been listening all month, this is where it all comes together. What We Cover in This Episode Why shame is one of the most overlooked trauma responses in clinical practice — and why naming it changes everythingThe developmental picture: how early environments teach the nervous system that being fully yourself is dangerousThe dorsal vagal response (freeze and collapse) and why it shows up in shame — the heat in the face, the heaviness in the chest, the urge to disappearWhy you cannot think your way out of a shame response, and why the body has to be part of healingAttachment theory and shame: how early relational wounds travel into adult relationships and show up in patterns like over-apologizing, difficulty receiving, and interpreting neutral interactions as rejectionDan Siegel's window of tolerance and what it means for trauma-informed shame workFour somatic regulation practices you can use in the moment when shame gets activated Somatic Practices Mentioned Orient to your environment — slowly look around and name five things you can see to activate the social engagement systemSlow your exhale — inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6–8 to activate the parasympathetic nervous systemFind a point of contact — feel your feet on the floor or your body in the chair to ground yourself when shame pulls you out of the presentName what's happening without judgment — neutral observation of physical sensation creates space between you and the response Key Concepts Referenced Dorsal vagal response / freeze and collapseWindow of tolerance (Dan Siegel)Attachment theory (John Bowlby)Polyvagal theorySomatic regulationTrauma-informed shame work Closing Reflection Healing shame doesn't happen all at once. It happens in layers — in moments of being witnessed and not rejected, in the slow practice of treating yourself as worthy even when part of you doesn't believe it yet. The shame that feels like the truest thing about you is not the truest thing about you. It is a wound. And wounds, when they receive the right care, do heal. Connect + Resources 📩 Subscribe to the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com💬 Contact Jessica📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingismyhobby/▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby🩺 Learn more about Jessica's clinical practice at jessicacolarcolcsw.com shame and trauma, shame as a trauma response, dorsal vagal response, freeze and collapse, nervous system and shame, window of tolerance, attachment theory and shame, John Bowlby attachment, somatic practices for shame, trauma-informed therapy, shame in the body, healing shame, self-worth, PTSD and shame, polyvagal theory, anxiety and shame, high-functioning trauma, insecure attachment, early childhood trauma, nervous system regulation, body-based healing, self-compassion, trauma response, inner child healing, Healing Is My Hobby podcast, Jessica Colarco LCSW

    14 min
  2. May 18

    Building a Self-Worth That Isn't Conditional

    Welcome to the Healing Lab — the episode where we stop talking about the work and actually start doing it. This month’s theme is shame and self-worth, and these experiments are rooted in something deeply personal: the belief that you cannot think your way into self-worth. You have to practice it. In this episode, Jessica shares two somatic and behavioral experiments designed to interrupt the pattern of conditional worth — and invites you into the lab alongside her. What We CoverThe clinical framework behind conditional worth and why it shows up so often in high-achieving womenWhy shame lives in the body — and why that’s where healing has to beginExperiment #1: The Enough Body Scan — a daily somatic practice anchoring worthiness in physical sensationExperiment #2: The Daily Commitment — two to three things each day that are purely for youJessica’s personal experience trying both experiments — what worked, what surprised her, what she’s keepingHow these two experiments work together — inside-out and outside-in — to meet in the middle The Clinical FrameworkWhen worth becomes conditional — when we believe we are only lovable while performing, producing, or caretaking — we stop giving ourselves permission to simply exist. The absence of self-directed care isn’t laziness. It’s the behavioral fingerprint of internalized shame. These experiments work at the behavioral level because we can’t always change the belief directly — but we can change the behavior. And when we start treating ourselves as worthy of care, the belief begins slowly to shift. Experiment #1: The Enough Body ScanOnce a day for two weeks, set aside five minutes for a slow, intentional body scan from head to toe. At each body part — your head, jaw, shoulders, chest, stomach, hands, and legs — offer a single phrase: “This is enough. You are enough.” This is not a relaxation exercise. It’s not about finding tension or tracking discomfort. It’s about anchoring the message “I am enough” in physical sensation — giving it somewhere to land for those who can’t yet access it cognitively. What to track: Does the phrase feel true, hollow, or somewhere in between?Does it begin to shift over the two weeks?Where in your body does it feel most resistant — and what do you make of that? Jessica’s experience: She chose to do this experiment in the shower each morning. It was immediately impactful, helped set her intention for the day, and shifted the way she inhabits her body. She’s keeping it. Experiment #2: The Daily CommitmentEvery day for two weeks, do two to three things that are purely for you. Not for your kids, partner, clients, or boss. Just for you — without needing to earn them first. You are someone you made a commitment to. Show up for yourself the way you show up for the people you love. Ideas to spark your own list: Making yourself something you actually want to eatMoving your body in a way that feels genuinely good, not obligatorySitting outside for 10 minutes with no agendaReading something purely for pleasure, not for growth or informationDoing something creative just because it’s enjoyable — baking, painting, crafting, whatever is yoursPutting on music you love and actually sitting with itA slow bath or long, unhurried showerWatching something you enjoy without guilt or multitasking alongside itA cup of something you love, made slowly, with nowhere to be What to track: Write down your two to three things each dayAt the end of each week, ask: How hard was it to follow through? Did I negotiate with myself, minimize, or skip?What did the inner voice say when I tried to give myself something?Did that voice get any quieter by the end of the week? How These Experiments Work Together The body scan works quietly from the inside out — planting the message “I am enough” at the level of physical sensation, asking your body to practice receiving worth. The daily commitment works from the outside in — asking your behavior to demonstrate worth through concrete daily action. Together, they approach the same belief from two directions. The body scan softens the ground. The daily commitment builds the evidence. Over time, those two things meet in the middle — and that’s where the shift happens. A Note on Resistance For those who have run on conditional worth for a long time, these experiments may bring up guilt — the sense that you haven’t earned this yet, or that you’re being selfish. The voice that says: this is indulgent. That voice is not the truth. It’s the wound. The most powerful thing you can do when it shows up is not to argue with it — but to do the thing anyway. That “even when” is where the healing lives. Coming Up Next Week The final episode of May looks at shame through a trauma-informed lens — how it shows up in the body, how it lives in our nervous system, and what it actually means to heal it at that level. Connect & Stay in the Loop If you tried these experiments, Jessica wants to hear about it. Share what you noticed, what came up, and what surprised you. 📰 Newsletter: healingismyhobby.com 📸 Instagram: @healingismyhobby 🎥 YouTube: @healingismyhobby 💼 Clinical Practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com self-worth, shame healing, conditional worth, somatic healing, body scan meditation, self-compassion practice, healing shame, worthiness, internalized shame, high-achieving women, therapy for anxiety, LCSW podcast, nervous system regulation, behavioral activation, self-care without guilt, healing is my hobby, Jessica Colarco, mental health podcast, trauma-informed therapy, inner critic, enough body scan, daily self-commitment, self-worth exercises, shame and the body, healing lab, self-worth practices, anxiety and perfectionism, people pleasing and worth, overcoming guilt, identity and self-worth

    16 min
  3. May 11

    When You're Ashamed of Your Own Feelings

    This is the Therapy Is My Cardio episode for May — which means we're not just talking about emotional shame today, we're doing the reps. If last week's episode gave you the clinical foundation (what shame is, where it comes from, and how it hides), this episode is where you put that understanding to work. Jessica walks you through the specific kind of shame that wraps itself around your feelings — the inner voice that calls you too much, too dramatic, too sensitive, or simply not allowed to feel what you feel. It's one of the quietest forms of self-abandonment there is, and today you're going to start unlearning it. In This Episode: What emotional shame actually is — and how it's different from general shameHow early experiences teach us that certain emotions are "wrong" — and what that does to a child's developing sense of selfThe clinical term for what happens next: emotional self-dismissal, and why it's so hard to recognize in yourselfWhy chronic emotional shame cuts you off from your own emotions as information — and the real consequences that has for your body, relationships, and sense of selfThe Warmup: a simple check-in practice to notice what feeling you've been pushing away before you even start the reps The Three Reps: Rep 1 — Name It: The neuroscience behind why labeling an emotion reduces its intensity, and how to create distance from shame-based thoughts using defusion language ("I am having the thought that...")Rep 2 — Reality Check the Story: A CBT-based framework using three questions to slow down the shame spiral and examine whether what you're telling yourself is actually true — or just old conditioning playing on a loopRep 3 — Self-Compassion: The rep people most want to skip, why compassion (not self-criticism) is what actually softens shame, and a short hand-on-heart practice to try right nowThe Cool Down: A simple weekly log practice — no journaling required — to track how often the inner critic is actually showing up, because you can't change a pattern you haven't seen clearly yet Mentioned or Referenced: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and shameDefusion techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)The neuroscience of affect labeling ("name it to tame it")Self-compassion as a clinical intervention for shame Next Week: Jessica heads into the Healing Lab to share personal experiments around self-worth that isn't tied to production or performance. You won't want to miss it. Connect with Jessica: 📩 Newsletter & blog: healingismyhobby.com 📱 Instagram: instagram.com/healingismyhobby ▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com emotional shame, ashamed of your feelings, too sensitive, emotional self-dismissal, inner critic, shame and emotions, healing shame, therapy for shame, self-compassion for shame, name it to tame it, affect labeling, CBT for shame, cognitive behavioral therapy shame, defusion technique, acceptance and commitment therapy, how to stop invalidating yourself, self-abandonment, self-worth, shame spiral, shame and the nervous system, emotional regulation, healing inner critic, self-compassion practice, shame and self-criticism, feelings are not wrong, Healing Is My Hobby, Therapy Is My Cardio, Jessica Colarco LCSW, mental health podcast, anxiety and shame, emotional healing podcast

    13 min
  4. May 4

    What Shame Actually Is (And Why It's Not Your Fault)

    May Shame & Self-Worth Series, Episode 1 Shame is one of the most common — and most misunderstood — experiences in the healing journey. It's not embarrassment. It's not guilt. It's the quiet, persistent belief that something is fundamentally wrong with you. In this first episode of our May series on shame and self-worth, Jessica lays the clinical foundation: what shame actually is, where it comes from, and why understanding it is the first step toward being free of it. What We Cover Shame vs. guilt — they feel similar, but they operate very differently and lead to very different outcomes. Guilt says I did something bad. Shame says I am bad. That distinction is everything, and it matters deeply for how we approach healing. Where shame comes from — shame isn't something we're born with. It forms in childhood, in the relational environment around us, shaped by how our emotions and needs were responded to. When a child's needs are consistently met with criticism, dismissal, or withdrawal, they don't conclude the adult is struggling — they conclude something is wrong with them. That belief can quietly run the show for decades. How shame hides in plain sight — by the time you've been carrying it long enough, shame doesn't feel like shame anymore. It feels like truth. Jessica walks through some of the most common ways it shows up: chronic people pleasing, perfectionism, difficulty receiving care, over-functioning in relationships, and numbing behaviors. The path toward healing — healing shame isn't about arriving at a destination where you never feel it again. It's about developing a different relationship with it. Recognizing it. Getting curious about it. And most importantly, letting yourself be witnessed — because shame grows in secrecy and heals in connection. Resources & References Research psychologist June Price Tangney's work on shame and guilt is referenced in this episode. Her decades of research distinguishes shame as a painful sense of being a flawed, unworthy person — not someone who made a mistake, but someone who is the mistake. Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework is referenced as a lens for understanding how early shame experiences become carried by younger parts of the self. This Month on Healing Is My Hobby May is our shame and self-worth series. Each episode goes deeper — through the lens of what you've inherited, your emotional life, practical experiments you can try at home, and the trauma-informed perspective that every conversation about shame deserves. Connect With Jessica Sign up for the newsletter and read the blog at healingismyhobby.com Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingismyhobby/ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com | Instagram: @jessicacolarcolcsw shame, shame vs guilt, what is shame, self-worth, healing shame, clinical social worker podcast, LCSW podcast, shame and identity, shame in therapy, internal family systems, IFS parts, core beliefs, childhood shame, trauma and shame, people pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning, emotional healing, self-compassion, window of tolerance, healing is my hobby, Jessica Colarco, mental health podcast, therapy podcast, shame series, shame and self-worth, worthiness, emotional wounds, generational shame, June Price Tangney

    14 min
  5. Apr 20

    Identity Grief: Losing a Version of Yourself

    In this final episode of the April grief series, Jessica explores identity grief — the grief that comes not from death, but from losing a version of yourself. Whether it's a milestone birthday, a career shift, a diagnosis, or a life that looks nothing like the one you imagined, identity grief is real, clinically significant, and rarely given the space it deserves. Jessica shares a deeply personal reflection on turning 47 and the quiet spiral that followed — and then walks listeners through the Three Layer Model she uses in clinical practice to help clients process identity grief. This is a Healing Lab episode, which means Jessica didn't just teach the framework — she tested three strategies herself and reports back honestly on what happened. What You'll Hear in This Episode: Jessica introduces the Three Layer Model of Identity GriefLayer One: The Self That Was Lost — Honoring who you were, what she carried, what she protected, and what she was working toward. This layer asks us to slow down before rushing toward transformation.Layer Two: The Self in Transition — The uncomfortable in-between where the old identity is gone but the new one hasn't formed. This is where many people get stuck, and where the real work of sitting with uncertainty lives.Layer Three: The Emerging Self — Not a shortcut, but an arrival. The new self forms only in the ground of the first two layers. Healing Lab — Three Strategies Jessica Tried: Strategy 1: Write a letter to the self you thought you'd be. Jessica wrote to the version of herself she imagined at 25 — and to the 47-year-old she never became. She thanked her, honored her, and said goodbye. She cried. She invites you to try it too.Strategy 2: The inventory. Rather than cataloging what's missing, Jessica split the page — what she thought she'd have by now on one side, and what she actually has that she never could have anticipated on the other. Not toxic positivity, just a fuller picture.Strategy 3: Return to one thing that is only yours. Jessica realized she had stopped doing things that existed outside of her roles. She went back to something she used to love — just for herself, no output required — and something loosened.The episode closes with a final reflection prompt and a look ahead to May's theme: shame and self-worth. Reflection Questions From This Episode: Who is a version of yourself you haven't fully grieved?What do you want her to know before you say goodbye?What is one thing that used to be yours — with no purpose attached? Resources & Links: Want to stay in the know? Subscribe to our newsletter here. Contact Jessica here. Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingismyhobby/ | YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby | Would you like to learn more about Jessica's clinical practice? Click here. identity grief, grief beyond death, losing yourself, who am I now, self-concept loss, grief no one talks about, types of grief, feeling like a side character, losing your sense of self, milestone grief, birthday grief, midlife identity shift, in-between self, feeling untethered, unprocessed grief, imagined future self, ambiguous loss, Three Layer Model, identity grief framework, self in transition, emerging self, disenfranchised grief, grief ritual, grief letter writing, identity and roles, identity integration,"I don't know who I am anymore," "grieving a version of yourself," "grief after divorce," "grief after kids grow up," "grief after burnout," "who am I after [life change]," "why do I feel lost after a big change," "midlife identity crisis women," "grief that has no name", Healing Is My Hobby, Healing Lab segment, Jessica Colarco LCSW, anxiety therapist podcast, mental health podcast for women, therapy podcast, grief podcast, emotional healing podcast, licensed clinical social worker podcast

    14 min
  6. Apr 20

    Ambiguous Loss: When You're Grieving a Person Who's Still Alive

    We're three weeks into grief month, and this episode goes somewhere that doesn't get nearly enough airtime — grieving someone who is still alive. Whether you've had to create distance from a relationship for your own well-being, or you're mourning a version of a person who is no longer who they once were, this kind of loss is real, disorienting, and deserves to be named. In this Therapy Is My Cardio segment, Jessica walks through the clinical framework of ambiguous loss and four powerful shifts that actually move the needle — straight from the therapy room. What You'll Learn in This Episode What ambiguous loss is and why it's one of the hardest kinds of grief to processThe two main forms ambiguous loss takes — and which one you may be living withWhy humans struggle so much with unresolved, "open loop" lossesFour practical reps for working through relational griefWhy your healing does not require the other person's participationHow grief and love can coexist without contradiction Coming Up Next Week We're closing out grief month with identity grief — grieving a version of yourself that existed before the thing that changed everything. Don't miss it. Clinical Concepts Mentioned Ambiguous loss (Pauline Boss)Role grief vs. person griefNarrative disruption in grief processingInternal resolution without external closureGrief and love as co-existing emotional states Connect With Jessica Newsletter: https://healingismyhobby.com Website: https://healingismyhobby.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingismyhobby/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby Clinical Practice: https://jessicacolarcolcsw.com Clinical Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicacolarcolcsw Want to stay in the know? Subscribe to our newsletter here. Contact Jessica here. Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingismyhobby/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby Would you like to learn more about Jessica's clinical practice? Click here. ambiguous loss, grieving someone who is still alive, living loss, relational grief, disenfranchised grief, grief without closure, unresolved grief, open loop grief, emotional estrangement, role grief, narrative disruption in grief, grief and love coexisting, internal healing without apology, Pauline Boss ambiguous loss, relational trauma, emotionally absent parent, estrangement grief, IFS and grief, healing without closure, trauma-informed grief work, how to grieve someone who is still alive, grieving a parent who is emotionally absent, estrangement grief support, how to heal from relationship grief, can you grieve someone you still love, closure without an apology, grieving what you never had, Healing Is My Hobby podcast, Therapy Is My Cardio, Jessica Colarco LCSW, grief series podcast, anxiety and grief podcast, mental health podcast for women, IFS grief therapy podcast

    8 min
  7. Apr 13

    The Grief Nobody Validates

    Episode Summary In this week's This Might Be a Trauma Response segment, Jessica takes the conversation about grief a layer deeper — moving beyond last week's broad definition of loss into a specific and often invisible form of pain: disenfranchised grief. This is the grief that never got witnessed. The loss that was minimized, dismissed, or met with an "at least" instead of acknowledgment. Jessica explores what happens psychologically when grief goes unvalidated, names the symptoms it can create, and offers a path forward through self-witnessing. What's Covered in This Episode What disenfranchised grief is — and why it's so psychologically costlyHow suppressed grief doesn't disappear, it transforms into symptomsFive common presentations of unacknowledged griefThe clinical concept of grief without witnessWhy healing grief requires acknowledgment — and how to give it to yourselfA simple but powerful self-witnessing reflection practice Key Clinical Concepts Disenfranchised Grief Grief that is not socially recognized or validated — losses that others communicate are "not big enough to count." This can include relational losses, identity shifts, ambiguous loss, and more. When grief isn't witnessed externally, it doesn't resolve; it suppresses. Suppressed Grief & Its Symptoms Jessica outlines five places suppressed grief tends to surface: Emotional numbness — a flatness or reduced emotional rangeDisproportionate irritability — especially common in women, who are socialized to internalize painAvoidance — staying busy, changing subjects, pulling away from peoplePersistent low-grade sadness — a heaviness underneath daily functioningPhysical symptoms — chest tightness, fatigue, headaches, digestive issues Self-Witnessing When external validation isn't available, healing can begin with self-witnessing — the act of naming your own loss and affirming its reality to yourself. Jessica frames this as "the beginning of everything." This Week's Reflection Practice Think of one loss in your life that never got acknowledged. It could be from years ago, something recent, or something you've never said out loud. Then say this somewhere private, just for you: "This was real. This hurt. And I am allowed to feel it." Coming Up Next Week Jessica turns to one of the most complex and misunderstood grief experiences: grieving someone who is still alive. The parent who is physically present but emotionally absent. The relationship that's technically intact but quietly over. The grief with no clear ending because there was no clear event. Connect & Stay in the Know Subscribe to the newsletter or learn more at: healingismyhobby.com Instagram: @healingismyhobby YouTube: @healingismyhobby Want to learn more about Jessica's clinical practice? Visit jessicacolarcolcsw.com or follow @jessicacolarcolcsw on Instagram. disenfranchised grief, unacknowledged grief, minimized loss, grief without validation, emotional numbness, irritability, low-grade sadness, physical symptoms of grief, self-witnessing, somatic grief, IFS and grief, ambiguous loss, "grief that doesn't count," "giving yourself permission to grieve," "why am I like this", mental health podcast, therapy podcast, LCSW podcast, trauma response, Jessica Colarco

    7 min
  8. Apr 6

    Grief Doesn't Always Look Like Crying

    In this month's opening episode, Jessica introduces April's theme: grief — and challenges the widely-held belief that grief only belongs to death. Drawing on clinical definitions and her own therapeutic lens, she explores how grief shows up across a wide range of losses, why unacknowledged grief doesn't disappear, and what it means to finally name what you're carrying. She also introduces the concept of disenfranchised grief and invites listeners into a simple but powerful reflective practice to close out the episode. What You'll Hear in This Episode: Why grief extends far beyond death and loss of lifeThe clinical definition of grief and what counts as a "significant loss"Examples of losses that often go unrecognized: identity shifts, relationship changes, unmet expectations, life transitionsWhat happens when grief goes unnamed and unprocessed — and how it shows up sidewaysAn introduction to disenfranchised grief: what it is and why it mattersHow unacknowledged grief can become prolonged griefThe power of naming and witnessing as the first act of healingA reflective prompt to take with you this week This Week's Reflective Prompt: What is one thing I'm grieving that I've never called grief? You don't have to say it out loud. Write it in a journal, a note on your phone, or sit with it quietly. Naming it is the first step. Coming Up Next Week: Jessica goes deeper into disenfranchised grief — the losses nobody validated — and what happens psychologically when grief goes without witness. Connect & Stay Connected: 📩 Sign up for the newsletter at healingismyhobby.com 📬 Contact Jessica: healingismyhobby.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healingismyhobby/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@healingismyhobby 🩺 Clinical practice: jessicacolarcolcsw.com grief beyond death, disenfranchised grief, unprocessed grief, types of grief, grief and identity, ambiguous loss, prolonged grief disorder, grief therapy, grief without a death, what is grief clinically, grief and anxiety, emotional flatness grief, grief and avoidance, grief naming healing, grief podcast, mental health podcast, LCSW podcast, healing podcast, grief support, grief awareness

    6 min

About

Discover what heals you—mind, body, and soul. Hosted by licensed therapist Jessica Colarco, Healing Is My Hobby is a cozy space where clinical wisdom meets real-life healing. Each week, we explore mental health topics like anxiety, stress, depression, and burnout—with simple tools and compassionate insight to help you feel better. But this isn’t just talk therapy. Jessica also takes you along on her own healing journey—whether she’s trying a salt cave, diving into a life-changing book, or experimenting with new wellness rituals. This podcast is your invitation to learn, grow, and play with what healing can look like in your own life. Because healing doesn’t have to be heavy. It can be curious. Creative. Even fun.

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