SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google and make money from your website with practical SEO tips

This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering f**k all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively f**k up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh b******t faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

  1. 2d ago

    Why Good SEO Means Ignoring Content 'Advice' From Business Coaches

    The business coach told you to stop giving your knowledge away for free. That advice is keeping your website invisible, and I'm about to explain exactly how. Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm coming for the business coaches — specifically the ones telling you that publishing your best stuff for free trains people to do it themselves and costs you work. It's bollocks. Absolute cast-iron, weapons-grade bollocks. And the funniest part is that they're delivering that bollocks to you via free LinkedIn posts, free newsletters and free webinars, because they want you to buy their expensive thing. Here's what I'm covering: — The bit nobody says out loud: everyone telling you free content devalues your expertise is telling you that in free content — What "don't give away your best stuff" actually means in practice — publish things that look clever but can't be acted on — and why that's much worse advice — Why Google has nothing to rank when your site is four pages of "bespoke solutions tailored to your client's unique requirements" — Why the person who reads your guide and does it themselves was never going to hire you in the first place — How free content does your lead qualifying for you, and why the alternative is a market that competes on price alone — The line between free resources and free labour, and why "free SEO audits" sit firmly on the wrong side of it — Why nobody has ever read a recipe and become a chef I also give you a proper piece of homework. Four jobs, actually. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind, starting with one page that will probably outrank your services page inside a couple of months. If you know someone who's been told to keep their expertise to themselves and can't work out why their website is invisible, send them this. It might be the thing that finally makes it click. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Give your shit away. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Courses (free at the moment): https://nonwankyseo.com Episode 33 — The Truth About "Free" SEO Audits (Don't Get Conned): https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/episode/the-truth-about-free-seo-audits-dont-get-conned Holly Christie, Websites Made Simple: https://websitesmadesimple.co.uk/ Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    Why Good SEO Means Ignoring Content 'Advice' From Business Coaches
  2. Jul 26

    The SEO Industry is Fu... errrmmm... Eating its Own Future

    I'm going to say something that's going to piss off anyone currently building their entire SEO career on AI prompts: if you've never done the boring stuff manually, you can't tell when the AI is lying to you. There. I said it. Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm talking about the thing that's actually keeping me up at night — not a Google update, not a dodgy agency tactic, but a slow-motion skills crisis the SEO industry is bringing entirely on itself. It started with a LinkedIn post from the brilliant Jo Furnival at Sitebulb, about junior SEOs feeling like they're falling behind because they're not building elaborate AI workflows. She's right that the boring work still wins. But it got me thinking about something bigger: a whole generation of SEOs and copywriters are being handed AI tools before they've ever learned how any of this actually works — and that's a problem for all of us, not just them. Here's what I'm covering: Why you can't judge whether an AI's SEO advice is right or catastrophically wrong until you've done the work yourselfThe difference between operating a tool and having actual judgment — and why only one of those survives contact with a messy real websiteWhy the same skills gap is opening up in copywriting, not just SEOWhere the "it's just a calculator" argument for AI falls apart if you don't understand the mathsWhat happens to the industry in three years' time when a whole generation skips the learning stageFour practical things to do right now if you're early in your career (or managing someone who is) And yes, there's homework. Not the "might get round to it one day" kind — the pick-one-thing-and-learn-it-properly-this-week kind. I walk you through exactly what to do in the episode. If you're managing a junior SEO, or you are one, and you've been handed a stack of AI tools with no actual training — send them this. It might be the thing that stops a very expensive skills gap from becoming their problem in three years' time. Get found. Make money. And for the love of all that is holy, learn the f*****g basics before you let the AI do the thinking for you. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Toolkit (free for now, usually £200): https://nonwankyseo.com Sitebulb (Jo Furnival's website crawler): https://sitebulb.com Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    The SEO Industry is Fu... errrmmm... Eating its Own Future
  3. Jul 19

    The Truth About "Free" SEO Audits (Don't Get Conned)

    That free SEO audit is not free. It's a sales pitch with a spreadsheet on top. It took them 20 minutes, and it's about to cost you a whole lot more. There. I said it. Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm pulling apart one of the sneakiest tricks in the industry — the "free SEO audit" that lands in your inbox looking like a favour and is actually a lead-generation funnel with your URL on the cover. Most of them aren't audits at all. They're crawl reports with branding on top, engineered to scare you into signing a contract before you've had time to think. Here's what I'm covering: — Why most "free SEO audits" are lead-gen tools in disguise, not audits — How a 10-minute crawl gets dressed up in red and orange to look like a catastrophe — Why every website "fails" a crawl — and why that's completely normal — The manufactured urgency trick, and why an agency that's never spoken to you can't possibly know if Google is penalising you — What a genuine free audit actually contains: full disclosure, what's working, prioritised fixes and zero panic — The three questions to run every free audit through before you take it seriously — Why the free audit is their best foot forward, and what that tells you about the work you'd pay for I also give you a proper piece of homework. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind. If you know someone sitting on a scary-looking "free audit" PDF, wondering whether to panic and sign, send them this. It might save them thousands. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. And stop falling for a sales pitch dressed up as a service. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Course: https://nonwankyseo.com Related listening — Episode 9 (the agency red flags you should be running from) and Episode 15 (the paid audit that cost a client thousands and still missed the basics) Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social

    The Truth About "Free" SEO Audits (Don't Get Conned)
  4. Jul 12

    SEO's Keyword Assumption Problem (What customers actually search vs what you think they search)

    You've spent hours optimising your website for phrases that literally nobody types into Google. And I can prove it. There. I said it. Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm tackling the single most expensive assumption you're making about your own business: that you know what your customers search for. You almost certainly don't — and that gap between how you describe your business and how your customers actually find you is exactly where your leads are disappearing. Here's what I'm covering: — Why the keyword list you'd write off the top of your head is almost completely useless — The difference between industry language and how customers actually search (problems, questions, and panic) — Why you're too close to your own business to see it the way a stranger does — it's proximity, not stupidity — Why answering early, "beginning of the journey" questions is uncontested territory while everyone else fights over the expensive decision phrases — How to stop being precious about phrases that don't "perfectly describe" your services — Free ways to find what people really type: Google autocomplete, People Also Ask, and related searches I also give you a proper piece of homework. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind. It takes 20 minutes, costs nothing, and will make you swear a bit. If you know someone obsessing over ranking for their fancy industry job title and wondering why the enquiries aren't coming, send them this. It might save them six months of guessing. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Start giving a shit about your readers. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com Ahrefs Free Keyword Generator: https://ahrefs.com/keyword-generator Also Asked: https://alsoasked.com/?via=nikki-pilkington (aff link) Google's People Also Ask: Just search for anything on Google and look for the expandable questions Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    SEO's Keyword Assumption Problem (What customers actually search vs what you think they search)
  5. Jun 28

    I'm Proving SEO Isn't Dead - And Giving You Two Underused Strategies

    SEO has been declared dead at least fifteen times since 1995. Fifteen. And it's still here. In this episode I'm going back to the very beginning - 1993, 670 websites, celebrity names stuffed into meta keywords by people who genuinely believed all traffic is good traffic, the whole sorry mess - and walking you through every major "SEO is dead" moment in history, who caused it, who got destroyed by it, and what actually survived. Because if you understand the pattern, you stop panicking every time a LinkedIn guru announces the next thing that's going to kill search. Spoiler: it won't. It never does. What I cover in this episodeWhere SEO started - and how quickly people started gaming it. White text on white backgrounds. Doorway pages. Keyword stuffing so aggressive it'd make your eyes water. Google's arrival in 1998 and the first proper "SEO is dead" panic - and how the industry responded by inventing link farms and article spinning. Same instinct, worse content. The Florida Update in 2003 - like a smaller scale Panda and Penguin, but no less devastating for the businesses it wiped out overnight. Panda (2011), Penguin (2012), Hummingbird (2013), Mobilegeddon (2015), and E-A-T - each one prompted a fresh round of death announcements, each one turned out to be wrong. The AI content flood of 2022 onwards, and why pumping out AI slop was always going to end the same way as every other shortcut before it. The actual search market share data from Q4 2025 via SparkToro: Google at 73.7%, ChatGPT at 2.86%. Yes, 2.86%. Let that sink in next time someone tells you to abandon your Google strategy. And three things that have worked since 1998, survived every update, and will still be working long after the next death announcement hits your feed. Links mentionedHow to use LinkedIn Articles for SEO Non-Wanky On-Page SEO course Subscribe and shareIf this episode made you roll your eyes at the next "SEO is dead" LinkedIn post - good. That was the point. Make sure you click follow or subscribe in whatever platform you enjoy this in, to ensure you never miss another one. Mentioned in this episode: ICN Network

    I'm Proving SEO Isn't Dead - And Giving You Two Underused Strategies

About

This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering f**k all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively f**k up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh b******t faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

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