SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google and make money from your website with practical SEO tips

Nikki Pilkington

This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering f**k all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively f**k up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh b******t faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

  1. "Dangerous Dave" and the SEO Insights Trap

    May 31

    "Dangerous Dave" and the SEO Insights Trap

    “Dave has half a story, no context, and excellent confidence. That’s what makes him dangerous.” Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I’m talking about one of the most common and most exhausting problems in SEO — and it’s not algorithm updates, and it’s not technical debt. It’s Dave. Dave means well. That’s the thing. He just went to a two-day digital marketing conference in Birmingham, sat through a keynote about AI search, and now he’s forwarding you articles at 9:00 PM on a Tuesday with a subject line, “Have you seen this?” You have. You saw it six months ago. Here’s what I’m covering: Who Dave is — and why he takes so many different forms in your businessWhy Dave usually gets it wrong, and why that’s not entirely his faultThe problem with conference keynotes, cheap SEO tools, and LinkedIn engagement baitWhy dismissing Dave outright is the worst possible strategyHow to create a process for handling Dave that actually protects your SEO strategyWhen to take Dave seriously — because sometimes, he’s onto something If you’ve got a Dave in your orbit right now — a sceptical stakeholder, a conflicting tool, a partner’s contact with strong opinions — send them this episode. It might save everyone a pointless meeting. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Get yourself a Nikki, not a Dave. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: Join our blogging masterclass Blogging Masterclass

    7 min
  2. How to figure out what to blog about next for your SEO

    May 24

    How to figure out what to blog about next for your SEO

    "She didn't need a content strategy document. She needed to read her inbox." Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm tackling one of the most common content problems I see — businesses that are constantly stuck on what to write next, when the answers have been sitting in their inbox, their reviews, and their sales call notes for years. Here's what I'm covering: Why most businesses get their content strategy wrong from the very startWhy your customers' questions are real search queries being typed into Google right nowThe content gold hiding in your reviews — yours AND your competitors'How to mine testimonials, sales call notes, and support emails for blog ideas that actually convertThe case study of Claire: a financial planner who wrote 5 posts straight from her inbox, got three ranking on page one within two weeks, and now has one as her second-most visited pageWhy the language your clients use (not your industry jargon) is closer to what gets typed into Google than anything from a keyword toolHow to brief a copywriter or SEO with something actually useful I also give you a proper piece of homework. Not the "might do that one day" kind. The actual do-it-this-week kind. If you know someone staring at a blank screen trying to think of blog topics, send them this. The answers are already in their business. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Start listening to the people already talking to you. LINKS Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com FOLLOW NIKKI LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: Join our blogging masterclass Blogging Masterclass

    8 min
  3. What AI-built websites actually get right

    May 17

    What AI-built websites actually get right

    "The thing about AI-built websites that the doom merchants don't want to admit — some of this stuff is really good. Not good for something a machine did, actually good, and in some cases better than I see on plenty of human-built sites." Hi, I’m Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, this is Part Two of my AI Website series — and if you didn’t build your site with AI, don’t switch off. A lot of what I cover here applies to traditionally-built websites too. I audited five AI-built B2B websites in April 2026. Proper audits — SE Ranking crawls, manual HTML review, page speed insights, schema testing, the lot. I went in expecting a horror show. What I found was much more interesting. Here’s what I’m covering: Why AI-built websites look genuinely good — and what that means for small business owners who couldn’t previously afford proper designHow AI handles mobile layouts correctly as standard (and why plenty of human-built sites still can’t say the same)Why the site structure and navigation of AI-built sites makes sense — and why yours might not anymoreThe forms, validation, and error handling that actually work (unlike that contact form you probably don’t know is broken)Why three of the five sites had genuinely thoughtful commercial pages — comparison pages, “is this right for you” pages, and decision-support contentHow AI approached schema markup — what it got right, and the teaser for what went wrong in Episode Three I also give you a piece of homework. Not the vague “something to think about” kind. The go-and-check-it-this-week kind: look at your commercial pages and ask whether they’re actually helping someone make a decision. If you’ve been dismissing AI websites out of hand, or if you’ve built one and been told it’s worthless, this episode is for you. And yes, Episode Three is where things get uncomfortable — but that’s next week. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Start giving a shit about your readers. Links mentioned: Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com Follow Nikki: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: Join our blogging masterclass Blogging Masterclass

    10 min
  4. Stop Buying Backlinks FFS! Here are your REAL link building tactics.

    May 3

    Stop Buying Backlinks FFS! Here are your REAL link building tactics.

    "Someone sitting in your LinkedIn DMs right now is offering you backlinks for 99. Someone else wants to charge you five a month for a robust link building campaign. And I'm here to tell you that for most small B2B service websites, both of them can f**k right off." Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of “SEO F**king What”, I'm calling out one of the most expensive myths in SEO — that spending money on backlinks is something small B2B service businesses need to do. It isn't. And I've got 30 years of evidence to prove it. Here’s what I’m covering: Why Google’s original algorithm got gamed almost immediately — and how the link building industry was born from exploiting itThe Penguin update of 2012: why thousands of legitimate businesses lost their rankings overnight, while the agencies who sold them manipulative links quietly updated their service pages and moved onWhat Google actually confirmed in 2024 about how much links matter now (their words: “we’ve made links less important”)Why the link building industry is still thriving — despite selling something worth a fraction of what it once wasThe free, legitimate links you’re probably already entitled to through professional memberships and directories — and not usingWhy on-page SEO, quality content, and a well-structured website will do more for your rankings than any link package sold by someone who DMed you 15 minutes after following you on LinkedIn I also give you a proper piece of homework this week. Three things to do right now. None of them cost a penny. If you’re currently paying for a link building package — or you’ve ever been tempted — listen to this first. It might save you a lot of money and a lot of future headaches. Get found. Make money. Stop buying f*****g backlinks. Links mentionedNon-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com Google Search Console (backlink report — Legacy Tools, bottom of left-hand menu): https://search.google.com/search-console/ Ahrefs Free Backlink Checker: https://ahrefs.com/backlink-checker Follow Nikki LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: Join our blogging masterclass Blogging Masterclass

    14 min
  5. Your Meta descriptions are fu*ked! I'll help you fix 'em.

    Apr 26

    Your Meta descriptions are fu*ked! I'll help you fix 'em.

    Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of "SEO F**king What", I'm talking about the one bit of SEO that isn't a ranking factor but is absolutely the thing that decides whether anyone actually clicks on your listing — your meta descriptions. You've probably never written one, duplicated the same one across your whole site, or let Yoast bully you into stuffing it with keywords. All three are f****d. Here's what I'm covering: — Why your meta description isn't a ranking factor — but still decides whether anyone clicks — What a good meta description actually does (and the 155-character rule) — Why Google bolds search terms, and why that matters for getting clicks — The parade of horrors: missing descriptions, duplicate descriptions, and corporate waffle — Why the Yoast green light isn't the goal — writing for a human is — A proper before-and-after for an HR consultant that shows you exactly what to write — The Mark Williams-Cook argument for not writing them at all — and why I still say you should, for small B2B sites I also give you proper homework. Three things to do this week that will sort out your meta descriptions without taking all day. If you know someone whose search result description reads like it was written by a committee, send them this. It might be the reason they're not getting the clicks they deserve. Get found. Make money. Stop stressing. Write it for a human. Links mentioned:Non-Wanky SEO Courses: https://nonwankyseo.com SearchPilot meta description research: https://www.searchpilot.com Follow Nikki:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkipilkington/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nikkipilkington/ Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/nikkipilkington.bsky.social Mentioned in this episode: Join our blogging masterclass Blogging Masterclass

    14 min

About

This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you. Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot. Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings." I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering f**k all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here. More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format. You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results. You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country. You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for. This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively f**k up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod. I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring. This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy. Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business. New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh b******t faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to. Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

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