Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife | Navigating Love and Intimacy After Past Abuse

Robyn Homer | Relationship Coach
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

I was the wife who felt broken.
 He was the husband who needed to be liked. 
I hid my pain. 
He hid behind kindness.
 I doubted my worth. 
He performed his. Now, I’m finding my voice.
 And he’s learning to stand in truth. I’m Robyn, a domestic abuse survivor turned relationship coach, and this is Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife, a space for couples who want to heal from the past and build a marriage grounded in truth, safety, and connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood by your partner, or unsure how to break the patterns that keep you apart, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll unpack what healing actually looks like inside a relationship, through real stories, paradigm shifts, and practical tools that bring clarity, hope, and lasting change. Sometimes, my husband Brent joins me for real conversations about our own journey from dysfunction to deep intimacy, because getting here took both of us choosing growth, again and again. This podcast will help you unlearn false beliefs about love, discover emotional safety, and take your next step toward the marriage you’ve always wanted.

  1. 6d ago

    37. What Your Kids Learn From Your Marriage

    What are your kids learning about love simply by watching your relationship? In this episode, Brent and I reflect on a comment one of our children made that stopped us in our tracks: "Mom and Dad have known each other for a long time, and they don't hate each other." That simple observation sparked a deeper conversation about the messages children absorb from the way we handle conflict, repair after disagreements, take responsibility for our emotions, and continue growing as individuals. We talk about: What we hope our kids learn by watching our marriageWhy healthy relationships require self-awareness and personal growthThe difference between unconditional love and emotional manipulationWhy children shouldn't feel responsible for managing a parent's emotionsWhat defines a healthy marriage beyond "we never fight"The relationship legacy we hope to leave our family Our kids are learning far more from what they experience than from what we say. They're forming beliefs about marriage, conflict, love, and emotional health every single day. Our hope is that they grow up believing marriage is more than something to endure. That it can be a relationship built on friendship, accountability, growth, and genuine joy. If this conversation resonates with you, share this episode with someone who wants to build a healthier marriage and create a lasting example for the next generation.

  2. Jul 15

    36. How a Strong Marriage Makes You a Better Parent

    For years, Brent and I thought successful parenting meant getting the right behavior from our kids. We focused on correcting, managing, and preventing mistakes because we believed their behavior reflected whether we were good parents. Today, we see parenting very differently. In this episode, we share the mindset shifts that have helped us move from controlling behavior to building stronger relationships with our children. We talk about why love should never be earned, why every person is responsible for their own emotions, how our relationship with our kids shapes our influence, and why our children's reactions don't determine whether we're succeeding as parents. If you've ever wondered how to raise emotionally healthy kids while strengthening your family relationships, this conversation will give you practical principles you can begin applying today. In this episode, we discuss: Why parenting the child matters more than parenting the behavior.How strengthening your marriage can strengthen your parenting.Teaching emotional responsibility without dismissing feelings.Why connection creates more lasting influence than control.Letting go of the belief that your child's behavior defines your worth as a parent. Next week, we're continuing this conversation by sharing what we hope our children are learning simply from growing up in our home and watching the way we live, love, repair, and grow together.

  3. Jul 8

    35. Parenting After Abuse: Teaching Kids Healthy Relationships

    One of my biggest fears as a young mom was that one day my children might find themselves in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. For years, that fear shaped how I parented. Over time, I realized something important: I can't control who my children will love or the challenges they'll face. What I can do is teach them the relationship skills that healthy love requires. In this episode, I'm sharing the five principles Brent and I are intentionally teaching in our home to help our children build strong, respectful, emotionally healthy relationships throughout their lives. We talk about taking responsibility for our emotions, separating behavior from identity, teaching children that love isn't earned, validating feelings without letting them lead every decision, and helping kids use their voice with both honesty and respect. These lessons don't just strengthen future marriages, they shape every relationship our children will have. If you've ever wondered how to prepare your kids for healthy, lasting relationships without parenting from fear, this episode will give you practical principles you can begin applying today. If you'd like to learn more about the relationship tools we've used in our own marriage and family, check out the link below for details about our upcoming couples retreat. Couples Retreat Details

  4. Jul 1

    34. What if Communication Isn't the Problem?

    If you feel like you're having the same argument with your spouse over and over again, this episode may change the way you see your relationship. For years, I believed that if I could communicate more clearly, my marriage would finally change. But one idea from relationship therapist David Schnarch completely shifted my perspective: the two-choice dilemma. In this episode, I'm unpacking what that means, why so many couples get stuck in recurring conflict, and how our desire to avoid painful realities often keeps us trapped far longer than the reality itself. We'll talk about: Why better communication isn't always the answerHow trying to create a "third option" keeps couples in gridlockThe difference between thoughtful healing and avoiding realityWhy accepting what you can't control creates more freedom and peaceHow differentiation and self-soothing help you navigate difficult relationship decisions with courage and integrity I also share personal examples from my own marriage and healing journey to illustrate what it looks like to face reality without giving up on growth. If this conversation resonates with you, I'd love to invite you to our Couples Retreat in Bear Lake, Utah, where we help couples identify the hidden dynamics keeping them stuck and learn healthier ways to navigate conflict together. You can find more details HERE

  5. Jun 24

    33. How to Become the Person Who Breaks the Cycle

    Have you ever become painfully aware of a pattern you want to change only to find yourself repeating it anyway? In this episode, I'm exploring Stephen Covey's concept of the transition person: the person who changes the trajectory of their family by refusing to pass harmful patterns on to the next generation. But becoming that person requires more than awareness. It requires action. I talk about why understanding your wounds isn't the same as healing them, how self-awareness can sometimes become a sophisticated form of justification, and why real transformation happens when your desire for change becomes greater than your desire for comfort. You'll learn: What a transition person actually isThe difference between explanation and accountabilityThe four human capacities Covey teaches for lasting changeWhy knowledge alone rarely creates transformationHow to respond differently when you're triggered, defensive, or hurtWhat it looks like to break generational patterns in everyday life If you've spent years reading the books, listening to the podcasts, or doing the inner work but still feel stuck in the same cycles, this episode will help you understand what comes next. Lasting change isn't built through awareness alone, it's built through the choices you make when old patterns feel easiest to follow. CTA: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who's committed to creating a healthier future for themselves and the people they love.

  6. Jun 17

    32. What a Healthy Relationship Actually Looks Like

    After healing from an abusive relationship and doing years of personal work, I realized something surprising: knowing what isn't healthy doesn't automatically teach you what is. In this episode, I'm breaking down the difference between abusive relationships, unhealthy relationship patterns, and truly healthy, collaborative relationships. I'll share the lessons Brent and I had to learn the hard way about communication, emotional regulation, accountability, repair, and what healthy love actually looks like in everyday life. You'll learn: • Why the absence of abuse doesn't automatically create a healthy relationship • The difference between immature relationship patterns and emotional abuse • What healthy communication sounds like in real conversations • How emotionally mature couples handle conflict and triggers • Why repair is one of the most important relationship skills you can develop • Small signs that you're making real progress in your relationship If you've ever found yourself thinking, "I know what I don't want in a relationship, but what should I be doing instead?" this episode will give you a clearer picture of what healthy, collaborative love looks like and how to start practicing it one conversation at a time. And if you want practical phrases to help you interrupt old relationship patterns, grab my free guide, Phrases That Interrupt the Pattern by clicking HERE

  7. Jun 10

    31. Why You're Still Angry at Your Past Self

    Have you ever looked back on a past relationship, parenting decision, or mistake and thought, What was I thinking? In this episode, I'm talking about self-forgiveness, healing from shame, and why so many survivors use past mistakes as evidence against themselves. I share my own struggle with carrying shame after an abusive relationship, the powerful lesson that helped me stop judging my younger self, and the difference between guilt and shame in the healing process. We'll discuss: Why shame becomes identityHow perfectionism blocks growthSelf-forgiveness after abuseParenting guilt and regretHow to stop punishing yourself for the pastWhy seeing your mistakes differently is evidence of growth The fact that you can see it now isn't proof that you failed. It's proof that you've grown. Interested in attending our Couples Retreat? Find all the details HERE

  8. Jun 3

    30. From People-Pleasing to True Agency

    What if healing isn't compliance... but it isn't defiance either? Many survivors spend years people-asing, staying small, and keeping the peace. Then, as they heal, they swing to the opposite extreme—resisting anything that feels like pressure or control. In this episode, I'm exploring why neither compliance nor defiance is true freedom, and how healing is really about developing agency: the ability to choose based on your values rather than your reactions. You'll learn: • Why people-pleasing and defiance are more similar than they seem • Gabor Maté's concept of counterwill • The difference between boundaries and reactivity • What healthy sacrifice looks like in marriage • How to become a chooser in your own life If you're tired of repeating the same argument in your marriage, grab my free guide, Stop Repeating the Same Argument. Get it HERE. And if this episode resonates with you, I'd be so grateful if you'd leave a rating or review. It helps more survivors find the podcast and the support they're looking for.

See All (38)

Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

I was the wife who felt broken.
 He was the husband who needed to be liked. 
I hid my pain. 
He hid behind kindness.
 I doubted my worth. 
He performed his. Now, I’m finding my voice.
 And he’s learning to stand in truth. I’m Robyn, a domestic abuse survivor turned relationship coach, and this is Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife, a space for couples who want to heal from the past and build a marriage grounded in truth, safety, and connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood by your partner, or unsure how to break the patterns that keep you apart, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll unpack what healing actually looks like inside a relationship, through real stories, paradigm shifts, and practical tools that bring clarity, hope, and lasting change. Sometimes, my husband Brent joins me for real conversations about our own journey from dysfunction to deep intimacy, because getting here took both of us choosing growth, again and again. This podcast will help you unlearn false beliefs about love, discover emotional safety, and take your next step toward the marriage you’ve always wanted.

Information

You Might Also Like