You Can Be Both

Lauren Lanzaretta
  • 5.0 (9)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Send testimony/questions to https://bit.ly/49G1tpz

  1. 2D AGO

    Does Conversion Therapy Work? A Survivor Tells the TRUTH

    Does conversion therapy work? What actually happens behind closed doors in Christian “ex-gay” programs—and why do people stay for years? In this episode of The You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Timothy Rodriguez, author of Conversion Therapy Dropout, for a raw, unfiltered conversation about surviving eight years of conversion therapy, working behind the scenes for some of the biggest evangelical megachurches (including Hillsong, Elevation Church, and Willow Creek), and reclaiming faith after religious trauma. Timothy shares:     •    What conversion therapy really looks like (it’s not what most people think)    •    Why conversion therapy doesn’t change sexuality—but does cause deep psychological harm     •    How churches promote “belonging” while quietly silencing LGBTQ people     •    The truth behind the “ex-gay” movement and why it fails     •    How shame, repression, and spiritual abuse nearly destroyed his life     •    Why LGBTQ Christians often feel closer to God after coming out, not farther away     •    Why conversion therapy is still happening today—and growingThis conversation also breaks down:     •    The role of megachurch culture in sustaining harmful theology     •    How conversion therapy has gone underground under “religious freedom”     •    Why trans and nonbinary youth are now the primary targets     •    What it means to be both LGBTQ and Christian without self-hatred ⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode discusses religious trauma, mental health crises, and conversion therapy practices. If you’re questioning your faith, your sexuality, or what you’ve been told about God—you are not alone. 📘 Get the LGBTQ Christian Healing & Resource Guide:https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 📚 Learn more about Timothy Rodriguez & Conversion Therapy Dropout: https://amzn.to/45OiADa Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timothy.s.rodriguez/?hl=en 🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, queerness, healing, and spiritual freedom 🎧 Available on Spotify and all podcast platforms TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Does Conversion Therapy Work? (The Truth) 02:26 – 8 Years in Conversion Therapy: “Spoiler Alert: No” 05:26 – Working for Megachurches While Hiding His Identity 07:11 – “Everyone’s Welcome”… Until You’re Gay 09:06 – Outed by a Youth Pastor 12:05 – Calling Exodus International 13:48 – What Conversion Therapy Really Looks Like 17:46 – Why People Stay Trapped for Years 22:31 – The Moment Everything Fell Apart 24:26 – “I Would Rather Die Than Live Like This” 25:08 – Hospitalization & Breaking Free 30:08 – Why He Wrote Conversion Therapy Dropout 33:01 – Why He Didn’t Walk Away from God 36:17 – LGBTQ Christians & Real Faith 41:21 – Is Conversion Therapy Still Happening Today? 45:52 – Why Trans & Nonbinary People Are Now the Target 47:19 – The Realization There Was No End 56:17 – Prayer

    59 min

  2. FEB 1

    The Power of Allies: Why This Straight White Male Pastor INCLUDES LGBTQ+ in Church

    What does it mean when a straight, white male pastor says LGBTQ+ people fully belong in the church? In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta welcomes her first-ever guest, Danny Lybarger — a straight, white male pastor, theologian, and founder of The Well: An Inclusive & Justice-Centered Church in the St. Louis area. Danny is known for using his platform, privilege, and voice within the church to advocate loudly for LGBTQ+ inclusion, even when it put his ordination, funding, and career at risk. His viral TikToks challenge harmful theology and center a message many queer Christians have never heard from someone who “fits” traditional church leadership: you are not excluded from God’s table. Together, Lauren and Danny unpack some of the most searched, debated, and emotionally charged questions in Christianity today, including: • Can LGBTQ+ people be Christians? • Are gay people going to hell? • What does the Bible actually say about homosexuality? • Why “welcoming” churches often aren’t affirming • How to tell if a church is truly LGBTQ+ affirming • Why church trauma drives so many queer people away from faith • The responsibility of straight allies and pastors to speak up• United Methodist theology vs evangelical Christianity • The Wesleyan Quadrilateral (Scripture, tradition, reason, experience) • Responding to clobber verses, proof-texting, and online hate • Why representation in church leadership matters • How radical inclusion is not political—it’s deeply biblical Danny also shares the real consequences of choosing affirmation: performing same-sex marriages before his denomination allowed it, risking being defrocked, receiving hate mail, and building a church in one of the most conservative counties in Missouri—while refusing to back down. This episode is for you if: ✔️ You’re LGBTQ+ and have experienced church hurt ✔️ You were raised evangelical and are deconstructing ✔️ You still love Jesus but feel unsafe in church spaces ✔️ You’re searching for an affirming church ✔️ You’re a pastor, leader, or ally who wants to show up better 👉 Subscribe to the You Can Be Both Podcast for conversations at the intersection of faith, sexuality, healing, and justice 👉 Download the LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 👉 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they still belong You can love Jesus. You can be queer. You can be both. ⸻ Connect with Danny Lybarger: 🌐 The Well Church: https://www.thewell636.org/ 📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@danny_lybarger 📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danny_lybarger/?hl=en Connect with Lauren Lanzaretta: 🌐 Website: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com 📱 TikTok: @lanzaretta,  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩  📷 Instagram: @lanzaretta,  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩  📧 LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth ⸻ #ChristianTikTok #FaithTok #QueerTikTok #ChurchTok #ProgressiveFaith #DeconstructingFaith #LGBTQAlly #StraightAlly #AffirmingFaith #ReligiousTrauma #YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #DannyLybarger #TheWell #AffirmingChurch #QueerChristian #ChurchHurt #BiblicalInclusion

    1h 2m

  3. JAN 25

    Can You Pray the Gay Away? The Truth LGBTQ Christians Aren’t Told

    • LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth• Submit your story: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz________________ Can you stop being gay?Can you pray the gay away?Does God actually change someone’s sexual orientation — and if so, why doesn’t He do it for everyone?In this episode of You Can Be Both, we take an honest, compassionate, and deeply personal look at ex-gay testimonies, conversion therapy, and the psychological and spiritual harm caused by shame-based faith narratives.Many LGBTQ Christians are told that if they pray harder, surrender more, or fully “commit,” God will remove same-sex attraction. But for countless people, that never happens — and the result is anxiety, depression, self-hatred, and even suicidal ideation.In this conversation, we explore:    •    Why “ex-gay” stories are often rooted in survival, trauma, or repression    •    The difference between healing trauma and trying to change sexual orientation    •    How shame-based Christianity fuels fear, guilt, and self-abandonment    •    Why being LGBTQ does not prevent you from following Jesus    •    The truth about conversion therapy and why it’s been denounced by major medical associations    •    How faith, mental health, and sexuality intersect    •    Why God’s love is not conditional on becoming straightThis episode is for:    •    LGBTQ Christians questioning their faith    •    Anyone harmed by “pray the gay away” theology    •    Parents trying to understand their LGBTQ child    •    People deconstructing harmful church teachings    •    Those healing from religious traumaYour identity is not a sin.Your attraction is not a failure of faith.And you do not need to change who you’re attracted to in order to be loved by God.✨ Resources mentioned:    •    LGBTQ Christian Healing Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/shop/p/gaychristianresourceguide    •    Pray Away documentary on Netflix  📩 Have you experienced conversion therapy or ex-gay ministry?There’s a confidential form linked below — your story matters.👉 Subscribe for more honest conversations at the intersection of faith, healing, and LGBTQ identity.👉 Follow You Can Be Both on Instagram and TikTok as well!

    34 min

  4. JAN 18

    You're Not Going to Hell: LGBTQ Christians Healing from Church Trauma

    If you're LGBTQ+ and Christian, you've probably experienced religious trauma—rejection from church, kicked out of ministry, told you're going to hell, or living a double life hiding who you are. You're not alone, and you're NOT broken. I read dozens of stories from LGBTQ Christians daily, and the pain from Church abuse is heartbreaking but the healing is REAL. This episode is for every gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or queer person who still loves God but has been wounded by His people. 💔 REAL LGBTQ STORIES SHARED: • Trans woman forced into military by parents, sexually assaulted, then fired from school job for being trans • Sunday school teacher excommunicated after 10+ years of faithful service—just for coming out • Gay Catholic altar boy standing next to a priest who says LGBTQ people belong in mental institutions • Christian educator living a double life, hiding her identity to keep her job • I was personally excluded from part of my mission trip to Thailand for being gay (even though I was closeted at the time) 📊 THE 3 THINGS WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH: 1. Rejection, judgment, and harm from the church 2. Reconciling faith and LGBTQ identity ("Can I be fully myself AND fully Christian?") 3. Long-term emotional/mental health trauma (anxiety, depression, shame) ✝️ THE TRUTH:You are NOT worse than anyone else. You're covered by God's grace. Being LGBTQ is NOT a sin. You deserve love, dignity, and a place in the church. God is NOT ashamed of you. 🌈 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: ✓ Why religious abuse happens to LGBTQ people in churches ✓ How to heal from spiritual trauma and shame ✓ The connection between LGBTQ rights and the Civil Rights Movement ✓ Why allies matter and how they can help ✓ Bible verses for the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, Matthew 11:28) ✓ Homework: Do something just for you and God this week 💡 KEY MESSAGES: • The church has weaponized 6 Bible verses against LGBTQ people • Kicking someone out of ministry for being gay is religious abuse—period • LGBTQ people are NOT more dangerous, perverted, or spiritually corrupt • You can't "pray away" being gay—it ends in exhaustion and crisis • Manifesting yourself out of shame doesn't work—community and healing do 🏳️‍🌈 YOU ARE NOT ALONE: This community is resilient. You didn't walk away from God even after how His people treated you. That's powerful. And God sees you, loves you, and is walking with you every single day. 📚 RESOURCES: • LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth • Submit your story: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 - You Are Not Alone 2:30 - Take a Breath: You're Covered by Grace 7:00 - Trans Woman's Heartbreaking Story 10:30 - Sunday School Teacher Excommunicated 12:25 - Why Being Gay Doesn't Disqualify You 15:10 - Living a Double Life at Work 17:20 - MLK & the LGBTQ Movement 23:30 - Gay Catholic Altar Boy's Pain 25:30 - The 3 Things We ALL Struggle With 31:00 - Hope is Still Present33:00 - Bible Verses for Healing 35:00 - Prayer for the LGBTQ Community 💬 COMMENT BELOW:Which story resonated with you most? What's YOUR experience with church and being LGBTQ? Let's heal together. 👍 If this helped you feel less alone, please like and subscribe. New episodes every Sunday at 11 AM. 🔔 Turn on notifications so you don't miss future episodes.You can be LGBTQ. You can be Christian. You can be BOTH. 🏳️‍🌈✝️ --- #LGBTQ #GayChristian #Religioustrauma #ChurchHurt #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #TransChristian #QueerFaith #ChristianLGBTQ #ReligiousAbuse #LGBTQHealing #AffirmingChurch #ProgressiveChristianity #LGBTQCommunity #FaithJourney #YouCanBeBoth #GayPride #LGBTQSupport #ChurchTrauma #SpiritualAbuse #LGBTQRights #QueerChristian #BiChristian #TransRights #LGBTQAcceptance #ChristianHealing #LGBTQTherapy #AffirmingTheology #GodLovesYou #LGBTQPodcast

    39 min

  5. JAN 11

    Is Calling Yourself a GAY CHRISTIAN Wrong? Addressing Christian Criticism of LGBTQ+ Identity

    Why do I call myself a "gay Christian"? Is it wrong to identify as LGBTQ+ and a person of faith? In this episode, I tackle one of the most controversial questions in the Christian LGBTQ community: Can you identify as both gay AND Christian without compromising your faith? Many Christians argue we should find our identity solely in Christ, but does that mean we have to deny who we are? In this episode, I break down: ✅ The difference between IDENTITY, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, and DESCRIPTORS ✅ Why sexual orientation is NOT a sin and what the Bible REALLY says about homosexuality ✅ The truth about those "6 clobber passages" and how they've been mistranslated ✅ Why the word "homosexual" wasn't even in the Bible until 1946 ✅ How coming out of the shadows and living authentically strengthens your faith ✅ What it means to truly find your identity in Christ while being honest about who you are This episode is for anyone struggling to reconcile their LGBTQ+ identity with their Christian faith. Whether you're in the closet, recently out, or supporting someone on this journey—this message is for you. 📖 RESOURCE: Download my 51-page healing guide for LGBTQ+ people of faith: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 💬 STRUGGLING? Email me or leave a comment—you're not alone in this journey. 👍 If this message resonated with you, give it a thumbs up and share with someone who needs to hear this. 🙏 PRAYER: At the end of this episode, I pray over everyone listening who's been rejected by the church, family, or friends. God loves you, is proud of you, and your identity is secure in Him. 📅 New episodes every Sunday at 11 AM! Follow us on on TikTok and Instagram: @YouCanBeBoth⁩  You can find my music on Spotify/Apple Music/Youtube  ⁨@LaurenLanzaretta⁩  #GayChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianLGBTQ #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChristian #QueerChristian #ComingOut #ReligiousTrauma #BiblicalInterpretation #FaithAndSexuality #YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChurch #GayAndChristian #ChristianPodcast #FaithJourney #LGBTQMinistry #AffirmingTheology #QueerTheology #ReligiousDeconstruction #ChristianIdentity

    32 min

  6. JAN 4

    From Confusion to Clarity: A Healing Plan for LGBTQ+ People of Faith

    GET THE RESOURCE GUIDE HERE: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Welcome to You Can Be Both — the podcast for LGBTQ+ Christians, gay Christians, and anyone navigating faith and sexuality while healing from religious trauma, church hurt, and rejection. In this New Year episode, Lauren shares how we’re moving from confusion to clarity in 2026. If you’ve ever wondered “Can I be Christian and LGBTQ?” or felt stuck between your identity and your faith, this conversation is for you. We talk about what it really takes to heal, rebuild confidence, and deepen your relationship with God—without shrinking who you are. In this episode, you’ll learn:     •    What “confusion to clarity” means for LGBTQ people of faith in 2026     •    How community and testimony help us heal from evangelical trauma, Catholic guilt, and spiritual abuse     •    Why understanding Bible context and translation matters (and why Lauren plans to bring on guests who can unpack “clobber verses,” theology, and Scripture interpretation)     •    The 3-step healing framework: get educated, get connected, and start healing     •    How to release what’s holding you back in 2026: addiction and coping behaviors, approval-seeking, and toxic relationships     •    Why you don’t need permission from pastors, parents, or church culture to be okay with God     •    Practical next steps: finding affirming churches, following helpful creators, getting therapy support, and using journaling prompts for healing and future visionLauren also shares big plans for 2026, including guest interviews, TikTok Lives, Zoom community calls, and future live events built around worship, healing, testimonies, and connection. To close, Lauren leads a guided Christian meditation for healing—an imaginative prayerful exercise centered on God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit—followed by Psalm 23, and a heartfelt community prayer for freedom from depression, addiction, shame, and abusive relationships. 📌 RESOURCE GUIDE (Confusion to Clarity Healing Guide): Lauren created a downloadable healing guide for LGBTQ+ people of faith packed with books, podcasts, affirming church resources, therapist support ideas, and journaling prompts to help you start your healing journey. GET THE RESOURCE GUIDE HERE: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth The book she mentioned called "Letting Go" (which is also in the resource guide) can be purchased here: https://amzn.to/49kYwcu 📩 Share your testimony / join the community: Submit your email + location in the form below so you can get updates about lives, Zoom calls, and upcoming events/tour dates: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz If this episode helped you, please like, subscribe, and share—it helps this message reach other LGBTQ+ Christians who feel alone. You are loved. God loves you. And you are not alone. 🔔 New episodes every Sunday at 11am 🎧 Also available on all podcast platforms For sponsorship opportunities email: youcanbebothpodcast@gmail.com. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQChristian #GayChristian #YouCanBeBoth #Deconstruction #ReligiousTrauma #ChurchHurt #AffirmingChurch #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndSexuality #HealingJourney #christianmeditation

    42 min

  7. 12/28/2025

    Why Are Christians So OBSESSED With LGBTQ people?!

    Why are Christians so obsessed with LGBTQ people—when LGBTQ Christians make up just 3% of the Church?In this episode of You Can Be Both, we explore a question many LGBTQ people of faith are asking: Why does such a small, vulnerable community receive so much scrutiny, legislation, and moral policing from Christians—while far bigger issues go ignored?This episode unpacks the rise of Christian nationalism, the explosion of anti-LGBTQ legislation, and the deep religious trauma experienced by LGBTQ people—especially those who still love God and want to keep their faith. We explore how Jesus’ actual teachings of love, compassion, and care for the vulnerable have been replaced by fear-based politics, moral superiority, and targeted attacks on queer and trans people.💬 In this episode, we discuss:    •    Why LGBTQ people are disproportionately targeted by Christians and lawmakers    •    The role of Christian nationalism in anti-LGBTQ bills and policies    •    How religious abuse and church trauma impact LGBTQ mental health    •    Why sexual orientation is not a sin—and why comparing it to abuse is harmful    •    What Jesus actually taught about love, power, and human dignity    •    How LGBTQ Christians can heal, reclaim their faith, and find safe community    •    Why you can be both LGBTQ and ChristianThis podcast exists as a safe space for LGBTQ people of faith—especially those who’ve been told they must choose between who they are and God. If you’ve experienced church hurt, spiritual abuse, or rejection from family or faith communities, you are not alone.✨ This episode is for you if you’re searching for:    •    LGBTQ Christian support    •    Healing from religious trauma    •    Conversations about faith and sexuality    •    Christian perspectives that center love, not harm    •    A reminder that God hasn’t abandoned you🙏 If this episode resonates:    •    Subscribe for weekly conversations on faith, healing, and LGBTQ identity    •    Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it    •    Leave a comment—your story matters hereYou don’t have to give up your faith to be yourself.You don’t have to give up yourself to love God.You can be both.⸻🔔 New episodes every Sunday at 11am🎧 Also available on all podcast platformsTo submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpzFor sponsorship opportunities email: youcanbebothpodcast@gmail.com. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ #LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity#YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #QueerFaith #GayChristian #ReligiousTrauma #AffirmingFaith #HolidayStress #ChosenFamily #Deconstruction #LGBTQPodcast

    28 min

  8. 12/21/2025

    How LGBTQ+ People Can Survive the Holidays With Their Religious Families

    Navigating the holidays as an LGBTQ+ person—especially in religious families—can be incredibly stressful! In this holiday edition of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta shares practical tools, responses, and boundary-setting strategies to help LGBTQ+ people of faith protect their peace during difficult family gatherings.In this episode, we talk about how to handle awkward or triggering conversations, religious judgment, pronouns being ignored, political tension, and questions about faith, church, or identity. Lauren draws from her own experience growing up evangelical, coming out later in life, and navigating loving—but theologically different—relationships with Christian parents. You’ll learn:     •    How to emotionally prepare before going home for the holidays     •    Why changing minds at the dinner table isn’t the goal—and what is     •    Boundary-setting responses that are firm, kind, and non-combative     •    How to respond to offensive or triggering questions without escalating conflict    •    When to disengage, redirect, or remove yourself for your own well-being     •    Ways to preserve relationships without abandoning yourself     •    How LGBTQ+ Christians can honor both faith and identity during the holidays This episode is for LGBTQ+ people navigating family rejection, religious trauma, evangelical Christianity, deconstruction, or the tension of wanting connection without sacrificing authenticity. You are not alone. You are whole. You can be both. 🔔 New episodes every Sunday at 11am 🎧 Also available on all podcast platforms 👉 If this helped you, please like, comment, subscribe, and share this with someone going through something similar. You don’t have to do this alone. To submit your own testimony or question click this link: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz For sponsorship opportunities email: youcanbebothpodcast@gmail.com. Follow my other socials on TikTok and Instagram!‪@YouCanBeBoth‬ ‪@LaurenLanzaretta‬ Thank you so much for watching and be sure to SUBSCRIBE and share this podcast to get it out to those who need it. See you in the next episode! #LGBTQ #Faith #YouCanBeBoth #laurenlanzaretta #Christianity #SelfAcceptance #ComingOut #Spirituality #Healing #authenticity#YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChristian #QueerFaith #GayChristian #ReligiousTrauma #AffirmingFaith #HolidayStress #ChosenFamily #Deconstruction #LGBTQPodcast

    24 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
9 Ratings

About

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Send testimony/questions to https://bit.ly/49G1tpz

Information

  • Creator
    Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    15
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Show Website
    You Can Be Both

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