You Can Be Both

Lauren Lanzaretta
  • 5.0 (11)
  • SEXUALITY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Send testimony/questions to https://bit.ly/49G1tpz

  1. 4D AGO

    I Married a Man... Then Realized I'm a LESBIAN | Christian Coming Out Story

    What happens when you grow up evangelical, marry a man, build a life… and then realize you’re actually a lesbian? In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Sophia Spallino — luxury lesbian matchmaker and founder of The Queer Country Club — to talk about coming out at 29, leaving a heterosexual marriage, losing everything, and rebuilding a life rooted in truth, faith, and aligned partnership. Sophia shares: • Growing up in evangelical Christianity • Suppressing same-sex attraction for years • Marrying a man while knowing something wasn’t right • The moment she finally admitted, “I’m a lesbian” • Losing her home, finances, and stability after coming out • Why so many married Christian women are secretly struggling • What lesbians are REALLY looking for in a partner • The truth about monogamy, dating apps, and modern queer dating • Why faith and sexuality don’t have to be opposites If you’ve ever felt torn between your faith and your identity… this conversation is for you. Share this with someone who needs to hear it! ✨ You can be both LGBTQ and a person of faith. ✨ Follow us on @Youcanbeboth, @Lanzaretta ⸻ 🔗 Resources Mentioned: • LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth • Queer Country Club Dating Platform: https://queercountryclub.com/ • Follow Sophia: https://www.instagram.com/sophiaspallino/?hl=en #ChristianLesbian #LateBloomingLesbian #ComingOutStory #FaithAndSexuality #ExEvangelical #LesbianDating #QueerChristian #LGBTQFaith #ReligiousTrauma #WomenLovingWomen #LesbianMatchmaker

    1h 8m

  2. FEB 22

    Can You Be Trans and Christian? One Former Megachurch Pastor Says Yes — and She’s Running for Office

    Can you be transgender and Christian? What happens when a megachurch pastor comes out as trans? And why is she now running for public office? In this powerful episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Joanna Whaley, a former evangelical megachurch pastor who was outed, fired, and subjected to 15 years of conversion therapy — and is now running for the Michigan House of Representatives. Joanna shares:     •    What 15 years of conversion therapy did to her mental health     •    The real experience of gender dysphoria     •    What it felt like to lose her job after being outed     •    Why she still identifies as a Christian     •    How Christian nationalism impacts LGBTQ people     •    Her response to rhetoric from Donald Trump and the rise of anti-trans legislation     •    Why she believes we’re in a “100-year battle” for LGBTQ inclusion in the church • Why she's running for Michigan House of Representatives Joanna previously served at one of America’s largest megachurches, including Life Church, and holds a seminary degree focused on liberation and queer theology. Today, she works as a clinical chaplain and advocates for LGBTQ+ Christians seeking faith without shame. If you’ve ever wondered:     •    Is being LGBTQ a sin?     •    What does the Bible really say about trans people?     •    Can you follow Jesus and affirm queer identities?     •    How do you survive coming out in evangelical spaces? This conversation is for you. 💬 “You are not a problem for God.” That message alone could change someone’s life. ⸻ 📌 Resources Mentioned     •    LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth     •    Support Joanna’s campaign: https://www.joannawhaley.com/ If this episode encouraged you, don’t forget to: 👍 Like 🔔 Subscribe 📤 Share with someone who needs hope You can be LGBTQ. You can love Jesus. You don’t have to choose. #TransChristian #LGBTQFaith #Exvangelical #ChristianNationalism #GenderDysphoria #ConversionTherapy #ProgressiveChristianity #FaithAndPolitics #QueerTheology #MichiganPolitics

    1h 19m

  3. FEB 15

    The Psychological Damage of Being Told You’re Going to Hell | Explained by a Therapist

    To inquire about Candace's services please visit: https://www.thechristiancloset.com/ Follow her on Instagram at: @lesbiantherapist Can you be gay and Christian? What does growing up LGBTQ in the church actually do to your mental health? And how do you heal from years of being told you’re going to hell? In this episode of You Can Be Both, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with licensed therapist Candice Czubernat, founder of The Christian Closet and an LGBTQ+ affirming counseling practice, to unpack religious trauma, conversion therapy, shame, and the psychological impact of growing up gay in conservative Christianity. Candice shares her journey from attending Moody Bible Institute to falling in love with a woman, navigating spiritual abuse, and eventually building a thriving practice helping LGBTQ Christians heal. In this episode, we discuss: • What religious trauma does to your nervous system • The psychological damage of being told you’re going to hell • How conversion therapy harms LGBTQ people • How to tell the difference between fear and Holy Spirit conviction • Why “sin feels good” theology is deeply damaging • Learning to trust yourself again • Healing shame as a gay Christian • Rebuilding your relationship with God • What affirming therapy should actually look like If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, shame, fear of hell, or distrust of yourself because of your sexuality and faith — this episode is for you. You are not broken. You are not beyond God’s love. And healing is possible. 📖 Download the LGBTQ Christian Healing Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 🎙 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, sexuality, and mental health 💬 Share this with someone who needs to hear it 📲 Follow us on TikTok and Instagram  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩

    1 hr

  4. FEB 8

    Does Conversion Therapy Work? A Survivor Tells the TRUTH

    Does conversion therapy work? What actually happens behind closed doors in Christian “ex-gay” programs—and why do people stay for years? In this episode of The You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with Timothy Rodriguez, author of Conversion Therapy Dropout, for a raw, unfiltered conversation about surviving eight years of conversion therapy, working behind the scenes for some of the biggest evangelical megachurches (including Hillsong, Elevation Church, and Willow Creek), and reclaiming faith after religious trauma. Timothy shares:     •    What conversion therapy really looks like (it’s not what most people think)    •    Why conversion therapy doesn’t change sexuality—but does cause deep psychological harm     •    How churches promote “belonging” while quietly silencing LGBTQ people     •    The truth behind the “ex-gay” movement and why it fails     •    How shame, repression, and spiritual abuse nearly destroyed his life     •    Why LGBTQ Christians often feel closer to God after coming out, not farther away     •    Why conversion therapy is still happening today—and growingThis conversation also breaks down:     •    The role of megachurch culture in sustaining harmful theology     •    How conversion therapy has gone underground under “religious freedom”     •    Why trans and nonbinary youth are now the primary targets     •    What it means to be both LGBTQ and Christian without self-hatred ⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode discusses religious trauma, mental health crises, and conversion therapy practices. If you’re questioning your faith, your sexuality, or what you’ve been told about God—you are not alone. 📘 Get the LGBTQ Christian Healing & Resource Guide:https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 📚 Learn more about Timothy Rodriguez & Conversion Therapy Dropout: https://amzn.to/45OiADa Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timothy.s.rodriguez/?hl=en 🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on faith, queerness, healing, and spiritual freedom 🎧 Available on Spotify and all podcast platforms TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Does Conversion Therapy Work? (The Truth) 02:26 – 8 Years in Conversion Therapy: “Spoiler Alert: No” 05:26 – Working for Megachurches While Hiding His Identity 07:11 – “Everyone’s Welcome”… Until You’re Gay 09:06 – Outed by a Youth Pastor 12:05 – Calling Exodus International 13:48 – What Conversion Therapy Really Looks Like 17:46 – Why People Stay Trapped for Years 22:31 – The Moment Everything Fell Apart 24:26 – “I Would Rather Die Than Live Like This” 25:08 – Hospitalization & Breaking Free 30:08 – Why He Wrote Conversion Therapy Dropout 33:01 – Why He Didn’t Walk Away from God 36:17 – LGBTQ Christians & Real Faith 41:21 – Is Conversion Therapy Still Happening Today? 45:52 – Why Trans & Nonbinary People Are Now the Target 47:19 – The Realization There Was No End 56:17 – Prayer

    59 min

  5. FEB 1

    The Power of Allies: Why This Straight White Male Pastor INCLUDES LGBTQ+ in Church

    What does it mean when a straight, white male pastor says LGBTQ+ people fully belong in the church? In this powerful episode of the You Can Be Both Podcast, host Lauren Lanzaretta welcomes her first-ever guest, Danny Lybarger — a straight, white male pastor, theologian, and founder of The Well: An Inclusive & Justice-Centered Church in the St. Louis area. Danny is known for using his platform, privilege, and voice within the church to advocate loudly for LGBTQ+ inclusion, even when it put his ordination, funding, and career at risk. His viral TikToks challenge harmful theology and center a message many queer Christians have never heard from someone who “fits” traditional church leadership: you are not excluded from God’s table. Together, Lauren and Danny unpack some of the most searched, debated, and emotionally charged questions in Christianity today, including: • Can LGBTQ+ people be Christians? • Are gay people going to hell? • What does the Bible actually say about homosexuality? • Why “welcoming” churches often aren’t affirming • How to tell if a church is truly LGBTQ+ affirming • Why church trauma drives so many queer people away from faith • The responsibility of straight allies and pastors to speak up• United Methodist theology vs evangelical Christianity • The Wesleyan Quadrilateral (Scripture, tradition, reason, experience) • Responding to clobber verses, proof-texting, and online hate • Why representation in church leadership matters • How radical inclusion is not political—it’s deeply biblical Danny also shares the real consequences of choosing affirmation: performing same-sex marriages before his denomination allowed it, risking being defrocked, receiving hate mail, and building a church in one of the most conservative counties in Missouri—while refusing to back down. This episode is for you if: ✔️ You’re LGBTQ+ and have experienced church hurt ✔️ You were raised evangelical and are deconstructing ✔️ You still love Jesus but feel unsafe in church spaces ✔️ You’re searching for an affirming church ✔️ You’re a pastor, leader, or ally who wants to show up better 👉 Subscribe to the You Can Be Both Podcast for conversations at the intersection of faith, sexuality, healing, and justice 👉 Download the LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 👉 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear they still belong You can love Jesus. You can be queer. You can be both. ⸻ Connect with Danny Lybarger: 🌐 The Well Church: https://www.thewell636.org/ 📱 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@danny_lybarger 📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danny_lybarger/?hl=en Connect with Lauren Lanzaretta: 🌐 Website: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com 📱 TikTok: @lanzaretta,  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩  📷 Instagram: @lanzaretta,  ⁨@YouCanBeBoth⁩  📧 LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth ⸻ #ChristianTikTok #FaithTok #QueerTikTok #ChurchTok #ProgressiveFaith #DeconstructingFaith #LGBTQAlly #StraightAlly #AffirmingFaith #ReligiousTrauma #YouCanBeBoth #LaurenLanzaretta #DannyLybarger #TheWell #AffirmingChurch #QueerChristian #ChurchHurt #BiblicalInclusion

    1h 2m

  6. JAN 25

    Can You Pray the Gay Away? The Truth LGBTQ Christians Aren’t Told

    • LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth• Submit your story: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz________________ Can you stop being gay?Can you pray the gay away?Does God actually change someone’s sexual orientation — and if so, why doesn’t He do it for everyone?In this episode of You Can Be Both, we take an honest, compassionate, and deeply personal look at ex-gay testimonies, conversion therapy, and the psychological and spiritual harm caused by shame-based faith narratives.Many LGBTQ Christians are told that if they pray harder, surrender more, or fully “commit,” God will remove same-sex attraction. But for countless people, that never happens — and the result is anxiety, depression, self-hatred, and even suicidal ideation.In this conversation, we explore:    •    Why “ex-gay” stories are often rooted in survival, trauma, or repression    •    The difference between healing trauma and trying to change sexual orientation    •    How shame-based Christianity fuels fear, guilt, and self-abandonment    •    Why being LGBTQ does not prevent you from following Jesus    •    The truth about conversion therapy and why it’s been denounced by major medical associations    •    How faith, mental health, and sexuality intersect    •    Why God’s love is not conditional on becoming straightThis episode is for:    •    LGBTQ Christians questioning their faith    •    Anyone harmed by “pray the gay away” theology    •    Parents trying to understand their LGBTQ child    •    People deconstructing harmful church teachings    •    Those healing from religious traumaYour identity is not a sin.Your attraction is not a failure of faith.And you do not need to change who you’re attracted to in order to be loved by God.✨ Resources mentioned:    •    LGBTQ Christian Healing Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/shop/p/gaychristianresourceguide    •    Pray Away documentary on Netflix  📩 Have you experienced conversion therapy or ex-gay ministry?There’s a confidential form linked below — your story matters.👉 Subscribe for more honest conversations at the intersection of faith, healing, and LGBTQ identity.👉 Follow You Can Be Both on Instagram and TikTok as well!

    34 min

  7. JAN 18

    You're Not Going to Hell: LGBTQ Christians Healing from Church Trauma

    If you're LGBTQ+ and Christian, you've probably experienced religious trauma—rejection from church, kicked out of ministry, told you're going to hell, or living a double life hiding who you are. You're not alone, and you're NOT broken. I read dozens of stories from LGBTQ Christians daily, and the pain from Church abuse is heartbreaking but the healing is REAL. This episode is for every gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or queer person who still loves God but has been wounded by His people. 💔 REAL LGBTQ STORIES SHARED: • Trans woman forced into military by parents, sexually assaulted, then fired from school job for being trans • Sunday school teacher excommunicated after 10+ years of faithful service—just for coming out • Gay Catholic altar boy standing next to a priest who says LGBTQ people belong in mental institutions • Christian educator living a double life, hiding her identity to keep her job • I was personally excluded from part of my mission trip to Thailand for being gay (even though I was closeted at the time) 📊 THE 3 THINGS WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH: 1. Rejection, judgment, and harm from the church 2. Reconciling faith and LGBTQ identity ("Can I be fully myself AND fully Christian?") 3. Long-term emotional/mental health trauma (anxiety, depression, shame) ✝️ THE TRUTH:You are NOT worse than anyone else. You're covered by God's grace. Being LGBTQ is NOT a sin. You deserve love, dignity, and a place in the church. God is NOT ashamed of you. 🌈 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: ✓ Why religious abuse happens to LGBTQ people in churches ✓ How to heal from spiritual trauma and shame ✓ The connection between LGBTQ rights and the Civil Rights Movement ✓ Why allies matter and how they can help ✓ Bible verses for the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, Matthew 11:28) ✓ Homework: Do something just for you and God this week 💡 KEY MESSAGES: • The church has weaponized 6 Bible verses against LGBTQ people • Kicking someone out of ministry for being gay is religious abuse—period • LGBTQ people are NOT more dangerous, perverted, or spiritually corrupt • You can't "pray away" being gay—it ends in exhaustion and crisis • Manifesting yourself out of shame doesn't work—community and healing do 🏳️‍🌈 YOU ARE NOT ALONE: This community is resilient. You didn't walk away from God even after how His people treated you. That's powerful. And God sees you, loves you, and is walking with you every single day. 📚 RESOURCES: • LGBTQ Healing & Resource Guide: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth • Submit your story: https://bit.ly/49G1tpz ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 - You Are Not Alone 2:30 - Take a Breath: You're Covered by Grace 7:00 - Trans Woman's Heartbreaking Story 10:30 - Sunday School Teacher Excommunicated 12:25 - Why Being Gay Doesn't Disqualify You 15:10 - Living a Double Life at Work 17:20 - MLK & the LGBTQ Movement 23:30 - Gay Catholic Altar Boy's Pain 25:30 - The 3 Things We ALL Struggle With 31:00 - Hope is Still Present33:00 - Bible Verses for Healing 35:00 - Prayer for the LGBTQ Community 💬 COMMENT BELOW:Which story resonated with you most? What's YOUR experience with church and being LGBTQ? Let's heal together. 👍 If this helped you feel less alone, please like and subscribe. New episodes every Sunday at 11 AM. 🔔 Turn on notifications so you don't miss future episodes.You can be LGBTQ. You can be Christian. You can be BOTH. 🏳️‍🌈✝️ --- #LGBTQ #GayChristian #Religioustrauma #ChurchHurt #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #TransChristian #QueerFaith #ChristianLGBTQ #ReligiousAbuse #LGBTQHealing #AffirmingChurch #ProgressiveChristianity #LGBTQCommunity #FaithJourney #YouCanBeBoth #GayPride #LGBTQSupport #ChurchTrauma #SpiritualAbuse #LGBTQRights #QueerChristian #BiChristian #TransRights #LGBTQAcceptance #ChristianHealing #LGBTQTherapy #AffirmingTheology #GodLovesYou #LGBTQPodcast

    39 min

  8. JAN 11

    Is Calling Yourself a GAY CHRISTIAN Wrong? Addressing Christian Criticism of LGBTQ+ Identity

    Why do I call myself a "gay Christian"? Is it wrong to identify as LGBTQ+ and a person of faith? In this episode, I tackle one of the most controversial questions in the Christian LGBTQ community: Can you identify as both gay AND Christian without compromising your faith? Many Christians argue we should find our identity solely in Christ, but does that mean we have to deny who we are? In this episode, I break down: ✅ The difference between IDENTITY, SEXUAL ORIENTATION, and DESCRIPTORS ✅ Why sexual orientation is NOT a sin and what the Bible REALLY says about homosexuality ✅ The truth about those "6 clobber passages" and how they've been mistranslated ✅ Why the word "homosexual" wasn't even in the Bible until 1946 ✅ How coming out of the shadows and living authentically strengthens your faith ✅ What it means to truly find your identity in Christ while being honest about who you are This episode is for anyone struggling to reconcile their LGBTQ+ identity with their Christian faith. Whether you're in the closet, recently out, or supporting someone on this journey—this message is for you. 📖 RESOURCE: Download my 51-page healing guide for LGBTQ+ people of faith: https://www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth 💬 STRUGGLING? Email me or leave a comment—you're not alone in this journey. 👍 If this message resonated with you, give it a thumbs up and share with someone who needs to hear this. 🙏 PRAYER: At the end of this episode, I pray over everyone listening who's been rejected by the church, family, or friends. God loves you, is proud of you, and your identity is secure in Him. 📅 New episodes every Sunday at 11 AM! Follow us on on TikTok and Instagram: @YouCanBeBoth⁩  You can find my music on Spotify/Apple Music/Youtube  ⁨@LaurenLanzaretta⁩  #GayChristian #LGBTQFaith #ChristianLGBTQ #ProgressiveChristianity #AffirmingChristian #QueerChristian #ComingOut #ReligiousTrauma #BiblicalInterpretation #FaithAndSexuality #YouCanBeBoth #LGBTQChurch #GayAndChristian #ChristianPodcast #FaithJourney #LGBTQMinistry #AffirmingTheology #QueerTheology #ReligiousDeconstruction #ChristianIdentity

    32 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.laurenlanzaretta.com/youcanbeboth Send testimony/questions to https://bit.ly/49G1tpz

Information

  • Creator
    Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Show Website
    You Can Be Both

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