You Can Be Both

Lauren Lanzaretta
  • 4.9 (37)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.youcanbeboth.com for this and other resources. Join the You Can Be Both Community App https://youcanbeboth.mn.co/plans/1984569?bundle_token=a02f1c1a95e905aa187210545

  1. 1d ago

    He Grew Up an Evangelical Missionary’s Son. Now He’s Gay and Rethinking God

    What happens when a gay man raised in an evangelical missionary family leaves Christianity, then starts asking questions about God again? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren Lanzaretta sits down with comedian, actor, and writer Matt LeGrande to discuss being gay and Christian, deconstruction, family, and finding a personal understanding of faith.Matt shares why he stepped away from the church and how he is exploring spirituality, rereading the Bible, and questioning beliefs he once accepted. He also opens up about the pain of knowing his mother believes he is going to hell because he is gay—and how he continues to approach their relationship with love, honesty, and a willingness to seek truth.In this episode:🌈 Growing up gay in an evangelical missionary family✝️ Can you be gay and Christian?💔 When a parent believes you’re going to hell📖 Rereading the Bible and asking questions🧠 Christian deconstruction and questioning what you were taught🙏 Leaving the church and finding your way back to God❤️ Loving family members when you disagree about faith💬 Why seeking truth matters more than being right😂 Comedy, religion, and spirituality✨ Exploring faith with an open mindMatt’s story is a reminder that faith journeys aren’t always linear. You can question what you were taught, step away from religion, and remain curious about God. You can love your family while being honest about who you are, and you don’t have to abandon your identity to explore faith. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth, #MattLeGrande, #GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQ, #QueerChristian, #ChristianDeconstruction, #ReligiousTrauma, #AffirmingChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #ChristianPodcast, #LGBTQPodcast, #QueerTheology, #GayChristians, #LGBTQCommunity, #Christianity, #FaithAndSexuality

  2. Oct 11

    "I'm Gay, Not Queer" -- Matthew Vines FINALLY Responds to the LGBTQ+ Backlash

    What happens when one of the most well-known gay Christian voices becomes the target of criticism from within the LGBTQ+ community? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Matthew Vines to address the controversy surrounding his New York Times article, “I’m Gay, Not Queer. It Matters.” Matthew responds directly to the criticism that he is too conservative, too focused on acceptance, or trying to conform LGBTQ+ people to traditional Christian values. He explains what he actually meant, why he believes LGBTQ people should be free to think for themselves, and why being gay shouldn't come with a predetermined political, sexual, or ideological worldview.In this episode:🔥 Matthew responds to the backlash over his New York Times article🏳️‍🌈 “I’m Gay, Not Queer” — what Matthew actually meant✝️ LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity & affirming theology🧠 Queer theory vs. affirming theology💬 Why being LGBTQ+ shouldn't dictate what you believe❤️‍🩹 Can LGBTQ+ people be more conventional without being “less queer”?💍 Monogamy, marriage & sexual ethics🔥 Why Matthew says LGBTQ+ people shouldn't be pressured to conform🗣️ The importance of disagreement, debate & freedom within the LGBTQ+ community✨ Finding a middle ground between faith, identity and freedomMatthew also addresses one of the biggest questions surrounding the controversy: Can LGBTQ+ people be fully accepted without all believing the same things? His answer is a powerful argument for allowing LGBTQ+ people the freedom to define themselves, their relationships, their beliefs, and their faith for themselves. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth, #MatthewVines, #GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQ, #QueerChristian, #ChristianDeconstruction, #ReligiousTrauma, #AffirmingChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #ChristianPodcast, #LGBTQPodcast, #QueerTheology, #GayChristians, #LGBTQCommunity, #Christianity, #FaithAndSexuality

  3. Oct 6

    Christian Nationalist to Deconstructing Everything: "I Realized Everything I Was Taught Was Wrong"

    What happens when you start questioning everything you were taught about God, Christianity, women, relationships, and your own identity? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Hope with Holly to talk about Christian nationalism, religious trauma, deconstruction, patriarchy, relationships, and finding the freedom to become your authentic self.Holly spent years deeply involved in evangelical Christianity and eventually began questioning the fundamentalist beliefs she had been taught. Today, she helps people heal from religious and relationship abuse, build healthier boundaries, and reclaim their identity.In this episode:🔥 Christian nationalism & fundamentalist Christianity✝️ Questioning everything you were taught about God💔 Religious trauma, shame & spiritual abuse🧠 Deconstructing Christianity & rebuilding your beliefs👩‍🦰 Women, patriarchy & purity culture🏳️‍🌈 LGBTQ+ people of faith & religious trauma❤️‍🩹 Healing, boundaries & learning to trust yourself✨ Finding freedom and living as your authentic self💛 Why you don't have to prove your worth to anyoneHolly also shares a powerful message for LGBTQ+ people of faith: you are worthy, you belong here, and you don't have to choose between authenticity and love. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and faith.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. ❤️#YouCanBeBoth, #HopeWithHolly, #ChristianDeconstruction, #ReligiousTrauma, #ChristianNationalism, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQChristians, #GayChristian, #QueerChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #DeconstructingChristianity, #Exvangelical, #ReligiousAbuse, #SpiritualAbuse, #LGBTQHealing, #LGBTQPodcast, #ChristianPodcast

  4. Sep 27

    “Unwanted" Same-Sex Attraction — Can You Stop Being Gay?

    Can you really change your sexual orientation? And why is same-sex attraction “unwanted” anyways?In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren takes a deeper look at the “ex-gay” movement and the idea of “unwanted same-sex attraction.” She explores the difference between sexual orientation, trauma, shame, self-destructive behavior, and healing—and asks whether the goal should be changing your sexuality or actually healing from the experiences that shaped how you see yourself.Lauren also talks about religious trauma, internalized shame, the pressure LGBTQ+ Christians can feel to reject their sexuality, and the belief that you have to choose between being LGBTQ+ and having a relationship with God.In this episode:🏳️‍🌈 Being LGBTQ+ and Christian ✝️💭 “Unwanted same-sex attraction”💔 The “ex-gay” movement🧠 Sexual orientation, trauma & shame🙏 Can you change your sexual orientation?📖 Christianity, homosexuality & judgment❤️‍🩹 Healing vs. changing who you are⛪ Religious trauma and internalized shame🌱 Learning to live from love instead of fear❤️ Finding peace with God as an LGBTQ+ ChristianIf you’ve ever been told that being gay means you’re separated from God, this conversation is for you. 🌈❤️You can be LGBTQ+. You can be Christian. And you can be both.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=UQLfKf5lTq6Zlx1BspX1lw&nd=1&dlsi=72b0ad4c14024c0c✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that *you don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.*#YouCanBeBoth, #UnwantedSameSexAttraction, #SameSexAttraction, #ExGay, #ExGayMovement, #GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQChristians, #ChristianAndGay, #ReligiousTrauma, #LGBTQFaith, #FaithAndSexuality, #ConversionTherapy, #GayChristians, #QueerChristian, #ChristianityAndLGBTQ, #LGBTQHealing, #DeconstructingChristianity, #LGBTQPodcast, #ChristianPodcast

  5. Sep 20

    He Was Gay, Christian & Celibate… Until He Questioned Everything

    What happens when you’re gay, you love Jesus, and you’ve spent years believing those two things can’t coexist?In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Brian Nietzel, LGBTQ+ advocate and co-founder of Renovus and the Making Things Right project, for an honest conversation about faith, sexuality, family, and finding peace with God.Brian shares his journey from conservative Christianity and years of celibacy to coming out, wrestling with Scripture, and realizing he didn't have to choose between being gay and following Jesus.They talk about coming out to his family, religious trauma, the “ex-gay” movement, deconstructing faith, LGBTQ+ Christians and conservative evangelicals, and whether it's possible to bridge the divide.Brian also shares why LGBTQ+ people don't have to be bridge builders—and how rediscovering the heart of Jesus helped him find freedom in his faith.In this episode:🏳️‍🌈 Being LGBTQ+ and Christian✝️ Faith and sexuality💔 The “ex-gay” movement📖 The Bible and homosexuality👨‍👩‍👦 Coming out to family🤝 LGBTQ+ Christians and evangelicals🌱 Deconstructing faith❤️ Finding peace with GodABOUT BRIAN NIETZELBrian Neitzel is a longtime advocate helping Christians and churches move beyond doctrinal debates toward more thoughtful conversations around LGBTQ+ issues. He co-founded Renovatus in 2019 and launched the Making Things Right project in 2021.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=UQLfKf5lTq6Zlx1BspX1lw✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, subscribe, comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that **you don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.**#GayChristian, #LGBTQChristian, #LGBTQFaith, #GayAndChristian, #ReligiousTrauma, #Deconstruction, #ExGay, #LGBTQChristians, #QueerChristian, #FaithAndSexuality, #BibleAndLGBTQ, #YouCanBeBoth, #BrianNeitzel

  6. Sep 13

    Lesbian Relationships: Sex, Exes & Everything We Don’t Talk About

    What makes a healthy lesbian relationship work? How do you navigate communication, conflict, intimacy, and keeping the spark alive? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Dr. Lorri Sulpizio, a leadership psychologist, relationship coach, and director of the Conscious Leadership Academy at the University of San Diego, for an honest conversation about lesbian relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly.They discuss dating, attachment, boundaries, relationship trauma, navigating exes, codependency versus healthy interdependence, maintaining individuality, and becoming a healthier partner.And yes—we talk about sex, desire, body confidence, romance, and whether lesbian bed death is real. ❤️‍🔥For LGBTQ+ people of faith, they also explore how religious shame can impact our relationship with our bodies, sexuality, and self-worth—and how we can begin unlearning those messages. Whether you’re single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers encouragement and practical insight for building love rooted in trust, communication, authenticity, and joy. 🌈 In this episode, we talk about: 🏳️‍🌈 Lesbian relationships 💗 Healthy relationships and dating 🚩 Red flags and green flags 🧠 Trauma and relationship patterns 💬 Communication and conflict 🤝 Codependency vs. healthy interdependence 👩‍❤️‍👩 Navigating exes 🌱 Maintaining individuality 🔥 Romance, intimacy, and desire 💋 Is lesbian bed death real? ❤️ Body confidence and sexuality ✝️ Religious shame and LGBTQ+ identity About Dr. Lorri Sulpizio Dr. Lorri Sulpizio is a leadership psychologist, executive and relationship coach, and director of the Conscious Leadership Academy at the University of San Diego. She works with individuals, couples, teams, and organizations to build stronger relationships, healthier cultures, and greater confidence.🎧 Subscribe to You Can Be Both for more conversations about faith, sexuality, relationships, healing, and authenticity. ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH You Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both. 🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=UQLfKf5lTq6Zlx1BspX1lw ✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.com If this episode connected with you, subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and their relationship with God. #GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #GayCouple #Christianity #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #ReligiousTrauma #ConversionTherapy #AffirmingChurch #YouCanBeBoth #LesbianRelationships #LesbianDating #HealthyRelationships #LGBTQRelationships #LesbianLove #QueerRelationships #RelationshipAdvice #LesbianBedDeath #LGBTQWomen #RelationshipCoach #RelationshipTrauma #EmotionalIntimacy #LGBTQFaith #ReligiousTrauma #YouCanBeBoth

  7. Sep 6

    Gay, Christian & Married: Their Fight to Belong in the Church

    What happens when two gay Christian men fall in love—but one of them is a pastor?In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Kade Rogers and Dr. Greg Neal, a married gay Christian couple whose journey brings together love, faith, coming out, church, and the struggle to live authentically.Greg is an ordained pastor and theologian who spent years wrestling with his sexuality, faith, and the fear of what coming out could mean for his ministry. Kade came from a very different background, but when the two met, a friendship unexpectedly grew into love.Their relationship challenged everything they thought they knew about faith, identity, and what it means to truly live openly. Together, they navigated the difficult realities of being a gay couple within the church while holding onto their love for God and each other.Their story is ultimately about love, courage, faith, and finding a way to belong without hiding who you are.In this conversation, we talk about:❤️ Their love story and how they met✝️ Being gay and Christian💍 Same-sex marriage and faith🏳️‍🌈 Coming out later in life⛪ Church hurt and religious trauma📖 What the Bible actually says about homosexuality💔 Conversion therapy and its lasting impact🔥 Facing hatred from other Christians🙏 Finding an affirming church🌈 What it really means for a church to be LGBTQ affirming❤️ Choosing love instead of fear🫂 Creating a church where LGBTQ people truly belongIf you've ever wondered whether you can be gay, Christian, and fully yourself, I hope this conversation reminds you:You don't have to choose between who you are and your relationship with God.You can be both.Subscribe to You Can Be Both for more honest conversations about LGBTQ identity, Christianity, healing, faith, and belonging.ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTHYou Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY:youcanbeboth.com/community🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC:https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=Uq3s_dhUTXmZmTsHxneDTA✨ LEARN MORE:youcanbeboth.comIf this episode connected with you, follow, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and their relationship with God.#GayChristian #LGBTQChristian #GayCouple #Christianity #LGBTQFaith #GayAndChristian #ReligiousTrauma #ConversionTherapy #AffirmingChurch #YouCanBeBoth

  8. Aug 30

    This Lesbian Christian MMA Fighter Refused To Give Up Being Gay -- Here's Why

    What happens when you're told you can't be gay AND have a relationship with God? In this episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with professional MMA and bare-knuckle fighter Miranda Barber for an honest conversation about being lesbian, Christian, family rejection, relationships, faith, and finding your purpose. Miranda shares her story of coming out as a teenager, leaving home at 17, finding her identity in Christ, and learning not to let other people's opinions determine her relationship with God.She also talks about her career as a fighter, toxic relationships, resilience, and why she believes her fight is about so much more than what's happening inside the ring. This episode is for you if: • You struggle with being gay and Christian • You've been told your sexuality separates you from God • You've experienced rejection from your family or church • You're questioning whether you can be LGBTQ and still have faith • You're a gay Christian healing from religious trauma • You've struggled with toxic relationships or finding your worth • You want to hear an LGBTQ Christian perspective that is honest, hopeful, and unapologetic 🥊 MIRANDA'S NEXT FIGHT Miranda's next bare-knuckle fight is October 23, 2026 in Biloxi, Mississippi. Follow her on Instagram for updates and fight camp coverage. ABOUT MIRANDA BARBER Miranda Barber is a professional MMA and bare-knuckle fighter, coach, mentor, lesbian, and Christian. She has spent 15 years in boxing and has competed in the Professional Fighters League. ABOUT YOU CAN BE BOTH You Can Be Both is a podcast for LGBTQ people of faith who have been told they have to choose between being queer and believing in God.Hosted by singer-songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, the podcast explores LGBTQ identity, Christianity, religious trauma, the Bible, deconstruction, healing, and what it means to know that you can be both.🌈 JOIN THE YOU CAN BE BOTH COMMUNITY: youcanbeboth.com/community 🎵 LISTEN TO LAUREN'S MUSIC: https://open.spotify.com/artist/3OUE5Cnw4wOsCyYeVHzAif?si=0nGICoZsTFWvhUZ9jrb_Ww ✨ LEARN MORE: youcanbeboth.com If this episode connected with you, subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear that they don't have to choose between who they are and their relationship with God. #LGBTQ, #LGBTQFaith, #GayChristian, #LesbianChristian, #ChristianLesbian, #LGBTQChristians, #YouCanBeBoth, #ReligiousTrauma, #FaithAndSexuality, #ChristianPodcast, #LGBTQPodcast, #MMA, #MMAFighter, #LesbianAthlete, #BareKnuckleBoxing, #MirandaBarber, #LaurenLanzaretta

See All (50)

Ratings & Reviews

4.9
out of 5
37 Ratings

About

You Can Be Both is hosted by singer/songwriter Lauren Lanzaretta, who shares honest conversations about being both gay and Christian—two identities often seen as incompatible. The podcast creates space for LGBTQ+ people of faith to find healing, community, and a deeper connection with Christ while fully embracing who they are. As a first step to your healing journey, I recommend the “LGBTQ+ Healing & Resource Guide” - go to www.youcanbeboth.com for this and other resources. Join the You Can Be Both Community App https://youcanbeboth.mn.co/plans/1984569?bundle_token=a02f1c1a95e905aa187210545

Information

  • Creator
    Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    50
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Lauren Lanzaretta
  • Show Website
    You Can Be Both

You Might Also Like