What should Christian parents do when their child comes out as gay, transgender, or nonbinary? In this deeply personal episode of You Can Be Both, Lauren sits down with Shari Bruck—a mother of two LGBTQ+ children—to discuss faith deconstruction, religious fear, unconditional love, and what it truly means to support your child. Raised in a strict Catholic family, Shari grew up surrounded by religious shame, guilt, patriarchy, and the belief that there was only one acceptable path to God. As she began questioning those teachings, she developed a spirituality rooted not in fear or control, but in love, curiosity, acceptance, and our shared humanity. Years later, both of Shari’s children came out—Taylor as gay and Riley as LGBTQ+, gender-nonconforming, and using they/them pronouns. Shari shares honestly about what came naturally, what required learning, the mistakes she has made, and why parents do not need to understand everything about their child’s identity in order to love and respect them. This conversation explores: • How parents should respond when their child comes out • Why being LGBTQ+ is not a choice • Learning to use they/them pronouns • Supporting a nonbinary or gender-nonconforming child • Deconstructing harmful religious beliefs • The damage caused by shame, rejection, and religious fear • Why rejecting your LGBTQ child will not change who they are • Finding chosen family when your biological family does not accept you • Choosing love even when you do not fully understand As Shari powerfully explains, your child is still the same person you have always known and loved. Coming out does not change them—it allows you to know them more honestly and deeply. “You’re not going to pray the gay away. You’re not going to ostracize the gay away.” For every Christian parent struggling to understand their LGBTQ+ child, this episode offers a simple place to begin: pause, listen, ask questions, keep your heart open, and default to love. If your family has rejected you because of your sexuality or gender identity, please remember: you are worthy of love, you are not alone, and there are people who will accept you exactly as you are. Join the You Can Be Both Community: YouCanBeBoth.com Subscribe for honest conversations about LGBTQ+ identity, Christianity, faith deconstruction, religious trauma, healing, inclusion, and discovering that you truly can be both. CHAPTERS: 00:00 Meet Shari Bruck 00:43 Growing up in strict Catholicism 02:38 Deconstructing religion and redefining spirituality 07:31 Creating a home where children feel safe 10:24 When Taylor came out as gay 15:16 Loving LGBTQ children without shame 23:50 Learning about nonbinary identity and they/them pronouns 31:19 Why parents should “default to love” 36:05 How to respond when your child comes out 40:37 Religious fear versus your child’s truth 45:08 Accepting yourself and finding chosen family 48:29 Let love be your guiding principle #LGBTQChristian #ChristianParents #YouCanBeBoth
