The Psychology of Relationships

Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
  • 4.4 (103)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use. 

  1. 6h ago

    The Hidden Parts of Yourself Running Your Dating Experiences & Relationships w/ Lair Torrent

    The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love, joins Julie & Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns influence the way we connect, and how mindfulness can help us recognize these shifts before they quietly shape our relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why different versions of yourself show up in relationshipsHow trauma and past experiences shape connectionThe role mindfulness plays in dating and communicationHow protective behaviors can create disconnectionWays to bring more awareness and authenticity into relationships To learn more about Lair Torrent, follow him @lairtorrentholistictherapist and visit https://www.lairtorrent.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    50 min

  2. Jun 18

    The Psychology Behind Infidelity: Why People Cheat w/ Dr. Nicolle Zapien

    Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences in relationships—but the psychology behind why people cheat is often far more complex than betrayal alone. Dr. Nicolle Zapien, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, joins Julie & Yue to unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological factors that can lead to infidelity. Together, they explore what cheating reveals about attachment, unmet needs, emotional disconnection, and personal responsibility, along with the difficult question many couples face afterward: can trust truly be rebuilt? In this episode, you’ll learn: The most common psychological drivers behind infidelityWhy some people may be more prone to cheating patternsHow unmet needs and emotional disconnection play a roleWhat rebuilding trust after betrayal actually requiresHow to determine whether reconciliation is possible To learn more about Dr. Nicolle Zapien visit https://www.drzapien.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    48 min

  3. Jun 11

    Love Is Not Enough: Why You Stay in the Wrong Relationships (Even When You Know Better) w/ Mark Manson

    Love can make us believe that if the feelings are strong enough, everything else will work itself out. But lasting relationships require more than chemistry or attraction. Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* and Love Is Not Enough, joins Julie & Yue to unpack why people stay stuck in situationships, chase unavailable partners, or settle for relationships that no longer serve them. He explains why compatibility matters just as much as passion, how emotional patterns keep us repeating the same cycles, and why healthy relationships require both emotional connection and practical alignment. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why love alone doesn’t guarantee a healthy relationshipHow compatibility differs from chemistry and attractionWhy people stay stuck in unhealthy relationship dynamicsThe role emotional patterns play in repeating cyclesHow to approach relationships with both heart and clarity To learn more about Mark Manson, follow him @markmanson and visit markmanson.net Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    48 min

  4. Jun 4

    Why Heartbreak Can Become Your Biggest Breakthrough w/ John Kim

    Breakups have a way of forcing us to confront the patterns we often avoid seeing in relationships. Whether it’s a slow fade, an almost-relationship, or a breakup you never fully processed, endings can reveal a lot about attachment, emotional availability, and the dynamics we keep repeating. John Kim—licensed therapist, author of Breakup. On Purpose., and host of The Angry Therapist podcast—joins Julie & Yue to unpack the psychology behind modern breakups and why endings can become powerful catalysts for growth instead of proof of failure. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why some relationships slowly lose momentum over timeThe psychology behind almost-relationships and ambiguityHow attachment patterns shape breakups and healingWhy endings can create opportunities for self-awarenessHow to move forward with more clarity and emotional insight To learn more about John Kim, follow him @theangrytherapist and visit theangrytherapist.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    46 min

  5. May 28

    Breaking Free from Anxious Attachment: Calming Your Nervous System in Love w/ Kirstie Taylor

    Do you find yourself overthinking, seeking constant reassurance, or fearing abandonment when dating or in relationships? These patterns often signal an anxious attachment style—but anxiety doesn’t have to control your love life. In this episode, Kirstie Taylor, dating coach, writer, and author of What I Wish I Knew About Love, breaks down why anxiety heightens sensitivity to shifts in connection, how it impacts communication and conflict, and how to distinguish intuition from fear-driven reactions. In this episode, we share practical tools to strengthen self-trust, regulate anxious thoughts, and reshape core beliefs about love and worthiness. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • How anxious attachment shapes your experiences in relationships  • Why reassurance-seeking and overthinking happen  • How to tell fear-driven reactions from intuition  • Tools to strengthen self-trust and emotional regulation  • How to build secure, fulfilling connection from the inside out To learn more about Kirstie Taylor, follow her @kirstietaylorr and visit https://kirstietaylor.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    53 min

  6. May 21

    Life After Divorce: How Your Ending Can Actually Become An Exciting New Beginning w/ Alicia Roberson

    Divorce. For some, it’s a lived experience. For others, it’s a quiet fear in the back of every serious relationship. In this episode, divorce expert and coach Alicia Robertson reframes the “D word” as a turning point rather than a failure. She explains how fear of endings can keep people stuck in misaligned relationships or avoiding love altogether, and how understanding these fears can lead to growth, clarity, and deeper self-trust. Alicia also shares practical strategies for moving forward, healing past narratives, and approaching relationships from a place of alignment and confidence. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why fear of divorce can hold you back in relationships  • How identity, shame, and cultural narratives shape relationship fears  • Strategies for moving on without bitterness  • How to approach new relationships with clarity and self-trust  • Why endings can create space for more aligned love To learn more about Alicia Robertson, follow her @lemonadelifecoach and visit https://lemonadelife.ca/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    55 min

  7. May 14

    Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partners (And How To Reset Your Romantic GPS) w/ Marc Sholes

    Ever feel like you keep ending up with the same “type” of partner even when it hasn’t worked out before? You might be unconsciously choosing the wrong people and repeating patterns that keep you stuck. Julie & Yue are joined by Marc Sholes, Psychotherapist and author of Reset Your Romantic GPS, to explore why we’re drawn to familiar but unfulfilling partner types. He explains the ways attachment styles influence our choices, why awareness can help you break the cycle, and how to distinguish a rough patch from true incompatibility—so you can make healthier, more fulfilling relationship choices. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why you keep choosing the same “type” of partner  • How attachment styles shape your patterns  • Signs a relationship is worth working through versus letting go  • Practical strategies to identify triggers and subconscious tendencies  • How to make choices that lead to healthier, more aligned relationships To learn more about Marc Sholes, follow him @marcsholes and visit https://marcsholeslcsw.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    40 min

  8. May 7

    Rewriting the Story You Learned About Love: How to Heal the Childhood Wounds Affecting Your Adult Relationships w/ Vienna Pharaon

    Early experiences quietly shape how we attach, communicate, and handle conflict in adult relationships—without us even realizing it. In this episode, Vienna Pharaon, marriage and family therapist and author of The Origins of You, explores the five core childhood wounds many carry into adulthood. She explains how these wounds can appear as avoidance, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, or staying stuck in unhealthy patterns—and why they were protective strategies, not flaws. Vienna also shares practical tools to heal these patterns so your past informs you without defining your future. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • The five core childhood wounds and how they show up in relationships • Why early protective strategies can later limit intimacy  • How attachment styles, emotional triggers, and beliefs about love are formed  • Tools for identifying the narratives driving your relationship choices  • How to heal old patterns to build healthier, more connected relationships To learn more about Vienna Pharaon, follow @mindfulmft and visit https://viennapharaon.com/  Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com * The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    56 min
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4.4
out of 5
103 Ratings

About

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use. 

Information

  • Creator
    Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    35
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2024 Drank Productions LLC
  • Show Website
    The Psychology of Relationships

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