The Psychology of Relationships

Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
  • 4.4 (102)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use. 

  1. 5d ago

    Breaking Free from Anxious Attachment: Calming Your Nervous System in Love w/ Kirstie Taylor

    Do you find yourself overthinking, seeking constant reassurance, or fearing abandonment when dating or in relationships? These patterns often signal an anxious attachment style—but anxiety doesn’t have to control your love life. In this episode, Kirstie Taylor, dating coach, writer, and author of What I Wish I Knew About Love, breaks down why anxiety heightens sensitivity to shifts in connection, how it impacts communication and conflict, and how to distinguish intuition from fear-driven reactions. In this episode, we share practical tools to strengthen self-trust, regulate anxious thoughts, and reshape core beliefs about love and worthiness. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • How anxious attachment shapes your experiences in relationships  • Why reassurance-seeking and overthinking happen  • How to tell fear-driven reactions from intuition  • Tools to strengthen self-trust and emotional regulation  • How to build secure, fulfilling connection from the inside out To learn more about Kirstie Taylor, follow her @kirstietaylorr and visit https://kirstietaylor.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    53 min

  2. May 21

    Life After Divorce: How Your Ending Can Actually Become An Exciting New Beginning w/ Alicia Roberson

    Divorce. For some, it’s a lived experience. For others, it’s a quiet fear in the back of every serious relationship. In this episode, divorce expert and coach Alicia Robertson reframes the “D word” as a turning point rather than a failure. She explains how fear of endings can keep people stuck in misaligned relationships or avoiding love altogether, and how understanding these fears can lead to growth, clarity, and deeper self-trust. Alicia also shares practical strategies for moving forward, healing past narratives, and approaching relationships from a place of alignment and confidence. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why fear of divorce can hold you back in relationships  • How identity, shame, and cultural narratives shape relationship fears  • Strategies for moving on without bitterness  • How to approach new relationships with clarity and self-trust  • Why endings can create space for more aligned love To learn more about Alicia Robertson, follow her @lemonadelifecoach and visit https://lemonadelife.ca/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    55 min

  3. May 14

    Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partners (And How To Reset Your Romantic GPS) w/ Marc Sholes

    Ever feel like you keep ending up with the same “type” of partner even when it hasn’t worked out before? You might be unconsciously choosing the wrong people and repeating patterns that keep you stuck. Julie & Yue are joined by Marc Sholes, Psychotherapist and author of Reset Your Romantic GPS, to explore why we’re drawn to familiar but unfulfilling partner types. He explains the ways attachment styles influence our choices, why awareness can help you break the cycle, and how to distinguish a rough patch from true incompatibility—so you can make healthier, more fulfilling relationship choices. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why you keep choosing the same “type” of partner  • How attachment styles shape your patterns  • Signs a relationship is worth working through versus letting go  • Practical strategies to identify triggers and subconscious tendencies  • How to make choices that lead to healthier, more aligned relationships To learn more about Marc Sholes, follow him @marcsholes and visit https://marcsholeslcsw.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    40 min

  4. May 7

    Rewriting the Story You Learned About Love: How to Heal the Childhood Wounds Affecting Your Adult Relationships w/ Vienna Pharaon

    Early experiences quietly shape how we attach, communicate, and handle conflict in adult relationships—without us even realizing it. In this episode, Vienna Pharaon, marriage and family therapist and author of The Origins of You, explores the five core childhood wounds many carry into adulthood. She explains how these wounds can appear as avoidance, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, or staying stuck in unhealthy patterns—and why they were protective strategies, not flaws. Vienna also shares practical tools to heal these patterns so your past informs you without defining your future. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • The five core childhood wounds and how they show up in relationships • Why early protective strategies can later limit intimacy  • How attachment styles, emotional triggers, and beliefs about love are formed  • Tools for identifying the narratives driving your relationship choices  • How to heal old patterns to build healthier, more connected relationships To learn more about Vienna Pharaon, follow @mindfulmft and visit https://viennapharaon.com/  Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    56 min

  5. Apr 30

    The Science of Strong Partnerships: Why Relational Intelligence Matters From Early Dating To Years In w/ Dr. Adam Bandelli

    Strong, lasting relationships aren’t just about chemistry or shared interests—they’re about how we relate to each other every day. Julie & Yue sit down with Dr. Adam Bandelli, psychologist and relational intelligence expert, to dive into why relational intelligence is essential for deep, meaningful connections. He shows how tuning into your partner’s emotions, responding with empathy, and communicating with intention can deepen trust, create emotional safety, and help your relationship grow stronger over time. Dr. Bandelli also breaks down the five core skills of relational intelligence, showing why empathy, attunement, and rapport impact the relationship from its early stages to months and decades in.  In this episode, you’ll learn:  • What Relational Intelligence is and why it matters • The five essential skills for building trust and connection  • Why empathy and attunement matter more than chemistry  • How relational intelligence strengthens intimacy  • Ways to make your relationship more resilient To learn more about Dr. Adam Bandelli, follow him @adambandelli and visit https://bandelliandassociates.com Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    44 min

  6. Apr 23

    The New 7 Love Styles: What Modern Research Reveals About Love Languages w/ Molly Owens of Truity Psychometrics

    For decades, the 5 Love Languages have shaped how we understand connection—but relationships, culture, and expectations have evolved, and our framework for love might need an update. In this episode, Molly Owens, CEO and founder of Truity, introduces the 7 Love Styles, a modern evolution of how we give and receive love. She explains why love languages still resonate, where they fall short today, and how these updated styles reflect changes in identity, communication, and partnership dynamics. Molly explains what your love style reveals about your relational strengths and areas for growth—and how that awareness can transform the way you show up in relationships, both new and long-term. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why love languages still matter – and what they miss today • How the 7 Love Styles reflect modern relationship dynamics  • The connection between love styles and attachment, personality, and emotional patterns  • How misreading love styles creates friction and disconnection  • How awareness of your style (and your partners) can deepen communication and intimacy To learn more about Truity, follow @truitylabs and take the assessment at https://www.truity.com/test/love-styles-test Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    46 min

  7. Apr 16

    Choosing Marriage (Or Not): Deciding If Marriage Is Right for You w/ Allison Raskin

    With marriage rates on the decline, do people still want to get married—and why does it still carry so much emotional and cultural weight? In this episode, Julie & Yue sit down with Allison Raskin, mental health advocate, relationship coach, and author of I Do. I Think?: Conversations About Modern Marriage, to unpack what marriage looks like today, how societal pressures shape our choices, and why committing can feel both deeply personal and overwhelming. She shares her own journey from a broken engagement to marrying her now-husband along with practical guidance on navigating differing timelines, managing fear, and clarifying what you truly want versus what you’ve been told to want. In this episode, you’ll learn:  • Why marriage continues to hold emotional and cultural significance today • How societal expectations influence your decisions about commitment  • Strategies for navigating differing timelines or desires around marriage  • How to separate what you truly want from external pressures  • Ways to approach commitment with clarity, confidence, and intention To learn more about Allison Raskin, follow her @allisonraskin and visit https://www.allisonraskin.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    49 min

  8. Apr 9

    Why So Many Men Are Struggling in Modern Love (And What We Can Do About It) w/ Dr Greg Matos

    Why are so many men struggling to connect today? And what does that mean if you’re trying to date and have relationships with men? In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Greg Matos, psychologist and author of the viral article “What’s Behind The Rise of Lonely, Single Men,” to explore the shifting relationship standards, changing gender roles, and the widespread lack of skills—like emotional literacy and communication—that are essential for building and sustaining meaningful connections. We dive into the underlying patterns driving loneliness, practical insights on taking responsibility, and strategies to improve connection, communication, and relational competence—no matter your relationship status, gender or sexuality. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why loneliness is on the rise and how it intersects with gender and social norms • How outdated relationship expectations create unfulfilled connections • The skills deficit in communication, emotional literacy, and relational competance • How to take responsibility and foster personal growth in relationships • Strategist for building healthier, more connected partnerships To learn more about Dr. Greg Matos, follow him at @drgregmatos or visit https://www.matospsychologicalconsulting.com/ Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW Our Sponsors: * Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com * TaskRabbit: Get $15 off your first task with code POR through the Taskrabbit app or on https://taskrabbit.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    46 min
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Trailer

4.4
out of 5
102 Ratings

About

Every couple has a story: the sparks, the late-night talks, the fights about nothing, and the moments that change everything. So why do some relationships thrive while others fall apart? The answer isn’t luck; it’s psychology. Join Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the hit podcast Dateable and authors of the book 'How to Be Dateable,' as they navigate this next phase of long-term committed relationships. Together with leading experts in the field, they'll explore what science really tells us about love, conflict, and connection — and translate it into tools you can actually use. 

Information

  • Creator
    Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    31
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2024 Drank Productions LLC
  • Show Website
    The Psychology of Relationships

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