In this episode of Mind Meets Medicine, Dr. Sir and Kaila are joined by their colleague and friend Dr. Shereen Mohsen, psychologist, founder and CEO of Relucent Psychology Group, and one of the most thoughtful clinicians working at the intersection of attachment, trauma, and relational complexity. Together, they dive into ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, and what couples work in this space actually looks like from the inside. 00:00 Intro & Meet Dr. Shereen Mohsen 06:20 Why Clinicians Must Do Their Own Work 11:00 Defining Ethical Non-Monogamy & Polyamory 13:16 When One Partner Wants to Open and One Doesn't 16:17 Opening Up Won't Fix Existing Problems 26:01 Jealousy Is Information, Not a Red Flag 36:03 Trauma-Informed Work & Attachment Styles 45:11 Agreements Are Fluid: You Can Change Your Mind 50:22 The Shame Around Desire & Infidelity 56:36 The Internal Work Opening Up Requires What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy? Dr. Mohsen opens with a clear, accessible definition: ethical non-monogamy is the practice of dating or engaging in relationships outside of a primary partnership, with full transparency, honesty, and open communication between all involved. She breaks down the important distinctions between polyamory and open relationships. These distinctions matter, she explains, especially when it comes to communication and setting clear agreements with partners. When One Partner Wants to Open and the Other Doesn't One of the most common scenarios Dr. Mohsen sees in couples work is a mismatch: one partner is ready to explore, the other isn't. This can trigger shame, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of abandonment on both sides. Drawing on the work of Esther Perel, the conversation explores how modern monogamy asks a single partner to meet an impossibly long list of needs and why, for some people, wanting more isn't a reflection of dissatisfaction but of abundance. There's wounding on both sides of this conversation, and Dr. Mohsen emphasizes the importance of slowing down and making space for both. Opening Up Won't Fix a Broken Foundation One of Dr. Mohsen’s clearest clinical points: any cracks in a relationship will only be amplified when you open it up. She's direct with couples about this. Before exploring ethical non-monogamy, the foundation needs to be solid. She introduces the concept of new relationship energy, which can be destabilizing for a primary partnership, and explains why the ability to repair after rupture is non-negotiable in any kind of relationship. Jealousy, Desire & Shame Perhaps the most powerful section of the conversation. Jealousy, Dr. Mohsen argues, isn't toxic, it's information. It's fear of loss, rooted in attachment. Reframing it that way changes everything. The hosts also explore how desire itself has become deeply shameful, even in monogamous relationships, and how bringing desire into the open, rather than hiding it, can actually strengthen intimacy rather than threaten it. Shame grows in secrecy. Naming things takes away their power. The Real Work of Open Relationships Dr. Mohsen is emphatic: ethical non-monogamy requires more emotional work, not less. Self-awareness, accountability, trauma healing, and strong communication skills are essential. She's a strong advocate for individual therapy alongside couples work because the depth of relational health you can access is directly tied to the depth of personal work each partner is willing to do. Dr. Mohsen's Website: https://relucentpg.com/ Instagram Youtube Website Clinic The contents of this show are for informational and educational purposes only and are not intended to replace professional medical or clinical advice. This content does not establish a patient-provider relationship. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare provider for any questions regarding your health or treatment. If you are experiencing a psychiatric emergency, please call emergency services or go to your nearest hospital immediately.
