Come & Glow

Lilly Sparks & Tolly Moseley
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Sexuality

Come & Glow is a podcast about sex, intimacy, and the question we keep coming back to: How do you build a sex life that feels like you? Not like a performance. Not like p*rn you don’t even like. Not like what you think you should want. Like you—your body, your nervous system, your relationships, your fantasies, your boundaries, your sense of humor, your needs, your real life. Hosted by Lilly Sparks, founder of afterglow (the ethical adult film site for women and couples), and Tolly Moseley, author of Submit Here (the Substack for human connection), Come & Glow is where emotionally intelligent sex talk meets pop culture obsession. We’re here for deep intimacy, hot takes, and the messy truth about what turns people on. Each week, we have honest conversations about desire, connection, communication, and the everyday hurdles that make sex complicated like mismatched libidos, stress, shame, resentment, body stuff, awkwardness, boredom, and the pressure to “get it right.” We talk about how to build emotional safety without losing the tension, how to stay curious, and how to make sex feel easier - not because it’s simple, but because you deserve more ease. And because so many of us learned what sex is “supposed” to look like from TV, movies, romance, and adult films, Come & Glow also dives into sex in pop culture—breaking down the steamiest scenes, the tropes we can’t stop thinking about, and the stories we’re collectively obsessed with. We ask what they reveal about us, what they get right, what they get wrong, and what they awaken in us. This show is for you if you want sex to feel: - more connected and less performative - more playful and less pressured - more emotionally safe (without becoming boring) - more honest, even when it’s messy - more like you Come for the hot takes. Stay for the glow.

Episodes

  1. 1d ago

    The Real Reasons So Many Women Feel Unsatisfied in Bed

    The 5 Things Women Are Missing in Their Sex LivesLilly's "villain origin story" started when she realized she'd spent nearly a decade having sex without orgasming, and that mainstream porn wasn't helping solve the problems she was actually experiencing. So what are women missing? Drawing from afterglow customer research, surveys, Reddit, and years spent talking to women about sex, Lilly and Tolly unpack the five biggest gaps showing up in women's sex lives...and why they're about so much more than technique. From the orgasm gap and communication breakdowns to stress, body confidence, and the universal desire to feel wanted, this episode explores what actually creates great sex: emotional safety, presence, self-awareness, and authentic connection. Plus: Lilly introduces afterglow's new Aura Framework - a new way to understand desire based not on acts or labels, but on the emotional experiences we're actually craving. In This EpisodeThe Five Biggest Things Women Say They're Missing1. The Orgasm Gap Why the orgasm gap isn't just about anatomyThe surprising difference between solo and partnered pleasureWhy caring may matter more than techniqueThe emotional impact of feeling like your pleasure matters—or doesn't 2. Communication Breakdowns Why talking about sex can feel terrifying—even in long-term relationshipsThe importance of emotional safety and true consentHow "no" can actually deepen trust and intimacyWhy great lovers pay attention, not just perform 3. Body Knowledge & Body Confidence Why self-education is one of the sexiest things you can doThe difference between body ignorance and body insecurityHow self-awareness shapes sexual confidenceWhy knowing what you want changes everything 4. Stress & Presence Why stress is one of the biggest inhibitors of desireSexuality, survival mode, and Maslow's hierarchy of needsThe surprising relationship between playfulness and desireHow nervous system regulation changes intimacy 5. Feeling Desired Why almost everyone wants to feel lusted afterThe psychology of feeling wantedWhy chemistry isn't about conventional attractivenessThe difference between being attractive and feeling desired Plus: Introducing the afterglow Aura FrameworkLilly shares afterglow's new framework for understanding desire through four emotional dimensions: Authenticity: raw ↔ idealizedPresence: embodied ↔ objectifiedCommunication: implicit ↔ explicitConnection: tender ↔ wild Together, these dimensions create your unique erotic "Aura"—because what turns us on isn't just what happens, but how it feels. We Also Discuss:Why self-awareness may be the sexiest trait of allDating apps vs. real-life chemistryWhy younger people are returning to in-person datingChemistry versus erotic compatibilityWhy emotional dynamics matter more than specific acts Favorite TakeawaysGreat sex starts with feeling safe, seen, and desired.Self-awareness is one of the sexiest qualities a person can have.Desire isn't just physical—it's emotional, relational, and deeply contextual.The best lovers aren't mind readers; they're attentive, curious, and willing to communicate.Understanding what you want is the first step toward getting it.

  2. Jul 7

    Can AI Fake Chemistry? Why Authenticity Feels So Erotic Right Now

    Sex, Authenticity, and the Search for Something RealAs AI-generated content floods our feeds and curated perfection dominates social media, many of us are feeling an unexpected hunger: the desire for something real. In this episode, Lilly and Tolly explore authenticity in porn, attraction, relationships, and everyday life. They discuss why energetic chemistry often matters more than physical appearance, what AI can and can't replicate, and why sex may be one of the most honest reflections of who we are. The conversation spans everything from erotic authenticity and addictive scrolling to sex positivity, attraction outside of monogamy, parental sexuality, and the four pillars of great sex. Along the way, Lilly and Tolly make the case that becoming a better lover isn't about performing—it's about becoming more fully yourself. In This Episode:AI, Porn & AuthenticityWhy AI may never fully replicate human erotic energyThe difference between stimulation and genuine connectionDead Internet Theory and the growing premium on real-world experiencesWhy people may increasingly seek embodied, authentic erotic content Sex Is Downstream of the SelfWhy our sex lives often reflect our emotional livesHow stress, self-awareness, and personal growth influence desireThe relationship between pleasure, healing, and creativityWhy eroticism extends far beyond sex itself Addiction, Boundaries & Modern LifePorn, social media, group chats, and our collective dopamine problemThe difference between numbing and mindful pleasureCreating healthy boundaries around technology and erotic contentWhy balance may be more powerful than prohibition Attraction, Insecurity & Self-DiscoveryPhysical attractiveness versus energetic attractivenessWhy confidence, curiosity, and self-awareness are incredibly sexyHow attraction to other people can reveal hidden parts of ourselvesRethinking jealousy, insecurity, and monogamy through a more compassionate lens Parents, Sex & IdentityWhy mothers who openly enjoy sex occupy a fascinating cultural spaceThe tension between selflessness and desire in parenthoodThe under-discussed topic of dads, porn, and male sexualityHow becoming a parent reshapes erotic identity The Four Pillars of Great SexLilly shares afterglow's framework for understanding erotic preferences: Authenticity: candid ↔ idealizedConnection: tender ↔ wildCommunication: implicit ↔ explicitPresence: embodied ↔ objectified The goal isn't to stay at one end of the spectrum—it's to recognize that our desires shift with mood, context, and stage of life. Key TakeawaysGreat sex starts with self-awareness.Authenticity is often more attractive than perfection.Curiosity may be one of the sexiest traits a person can have.Attraction is fluid, complex, and deeply personal.The future of sexuality may be more human, embodied, and connected than ever before.

  3. Jun 30

    You're Probably Thinking About Great Sex All Wrong

    The Biggest Myth About Being "Good in Bed"Most of us grew up believing that some people are naturally good at sex, and some people just aren't. But what if that's completely wrong? In this episode, Lilly and Tolly unpack one of the biggest myths in modern sexuality: the idea that being a great lover is something that simply happens because of hotness and/or chemistry. Instead, they argue that great sex has far less to do with performance or technique and far more to do with emotional intelligence, presence, curiosity, and the ability to create a vibe. From the Gottmans' famous six-second kiss to dry humping, eye contact during oral, and why emotional safety might be the sexiest thing of all, this conversation explores what actually creates chemistry in and out of the bedroom. They also dive into why afterglow was built differently: not just to turn people on, but to help them become more thoughtful, observant, and connected lovers. In This EpisodeWhy "Good in Bed" Is Mostly a MythWhy chemistry with one person doesn't automatically translate to chemistry with anotherThe difference between sexual confidence and sexual skillWhy "good at sex" means something different to every partnerThe danger of relying on one gear or one sexual script for every encounter The Emotional Skills of Great LoversThe Gottmans' six-second kiss and why it worksWhy lingering eye contact can completely change the energy between two peopleHow slowing down creates tension, anticipation, and chemistryWhy presence is often more important than technique Create the VibeWhy creating a "container" for intimacy might not be so woo-woo after allHow mood, intention, and emotional presence shape desireWhy Afterglow focuses on atmosphere and psychology—not just sexual actsThe surprising connection between creativity and eroticism Rethinking the Sexual ScriptWhy sex doesn't need to follow the same sequence every timeBreaking out of the kiss → foreplay → penetration routineHow expanding your menu of experiences creates novelty and excitementWhy great sex is nonlinear and conversational Communication, Consent & ConnectionWhy emotional intelligence is the foundation of great sexThe importance of true yeses, true nos, and taking responsibility for your own pleasureCreating a shared language with your partner around touch and desireWhy consent and dirty talk may be more connected than we think Practical Tips We LoveDry humping is wildly underratedTry eye contact during oralUse your hands intentionally, they change the entire moodTouch your own body during partnered intimacyExperiment with toys as a form of play, not performance Men, Masculinity & Queer WisdomWhy men's insecurities deserve more compassionWhat heterosexual relationships can learn from queer communitiesThe limits of rigid gender rolesWhy self-awareness may be the sexiest trait of all Favorite TakeawaysGreat sex is less about performance and more about presence.Chemistry is something you create together.Emotional intelligence is an underrated aphrodisiac.You don't need more techniques—you need more range.The best lovers are curious, observant, and willing to communicate. About the HostsLilly Sparks is the founder of afterglow, an ethical porn platform designed to help people have more pleasurable, connected sex. Tolly Moseley is a writer, cultural critic, and former Editorial Director at Sex with Emily.

  4. Jun 5

    Dry Humping, Divorce Memoirs & Other Things Turning Us On

    This week on Come & Glow, Lilly and Tolly dive into one of afterglow's newest films, Active Wear—a playful, chemistry-filled ode to dry humping, teasing, and all the sexy moments that happen before sex follows the usual script. From there, the conversation spirals (in the best way) into Victorian romance, Lindy West, toxic literary heartthrobs, polyamory discourse, AI relationships, and why so many of us are searching for connection in a world increasingly designed for distraction. Along the way, they explore a recurring theme: maybe the hottest part of sex isn't the act itself...it's the tension, playfulness, vulnerability, and emotional energy underneath it. In This Episode Behind the Scenes of Afterglow's New Film: Active WearWhy Lilly considers it her favorite Afterglow film in yearsThe challenge of creating porn that feels like a film vs. just a series of sex actsHow the team used afterglow's four pillars of Authenticity, Communication, Connection, & PresenceWhy "friends who f**k" chemistry feels so different from traditional pornThe surprising erotic power of dry humpingWhy sex doesn't need to follow the traditional "bases" progressionThe importance of couples orgasming at different times instead of chasing simultaneous climax The Most Underrated Part of SexWhy teasing often creates more desire than immediate gratificationThe "in-between moments" most porn leaves outHow touch, pacing, anticipation, and play create connectionWhy varying your sexual routine can be more exciting than trying something extreme Wuthering Heights, Desire & Dangerous LoveLilly's take on Catherine's impossible choice between survival and loveWhy Victorian heroines didn't have the options modern women doWhether Heathcliff's toxicity gets softened for modern audiencesWhy cheating scenes often feel so erotically chargedThe uncomfortable truth that danger and desire are often intertwined The Lindy West ConversationWhy Lindy West's polyamorous relationship has sparked such strong reactions onlineThe difference between criticizing polyamory and criticizing a specific partnerWhy audiences feel so protective of LindyMemoirs, messy lives, and the internet's desire to rescue peopleWhat healthy threesomes can teach us about inclusion, attention, and emotional balance AI Relationships & ChatGPT as a CompanionCan AI help people practice relationship skills?Where emotional support ends and dependency beginsWhy ChatGPT often feels like a mirror rather than a relationshipWhat happens when artificial connection starts replacing human connectionHow technology is increasing our hunger for emotional intelligence What Men Actually WantFeedback afterglow receives from male viewersWhy many men are looking for guidance, not just stimulationHow porn can help people explore fantasies without acting on themWhy the emotional meaning behind a kink often matters more than the act itselfThe difference between searching for behaviors and searching for feelings Favorite TakeawaysDesire thrives on tension, anticipation, and play.The hottest moments are often the ones between the obvious sexual acts.Emotional intelligence may become our most valuable relationship skill.Most people aren't looking for a technique, they're looking for a feeling.

  5. Apr 13

    Most Porn Sucks. But It Could Be So Much Better.

    Porn Is Broken. Let’s Talk About What It Could Be Instead.When most people hear the word porn, they don’t think intimacy, artistry, or connection. They think shame, addiction, exploitation, or something they’re not supposed to want. In this episode, Lilly Sparks (founder of afterglow) and Tolly Moseley (author of Submit Here) unpack why porn has become such a loaded word, how modern porn culture often mirrors the worst parts of the internet, and why that doesn’t mean erotic content itself is the problem. They explore what happens when we separate desire from shame, why women’s pleasure has been sidelined for so long, and how reimagining porn through emotion and real pleasure can transform the way we experience sex. This is a conversation about porn, yes. But it’s also about bodies, conditioning, relationships, and the freedom that comes from wanting what you want. In This EpisodeWhy the word porn triggers such a strong reaction in so many peopleWhy it gets judged differently than social media, junk food, or other unhealthy habitsThe real reason stories and emotions make sex scenes so much hotterWhy Lilly created the porn she wished existedThe making of Lip Service, afterglow’s first film centered on cunnilingus and de-centering penetrationWhy receiving pleasure can feel vulnerable, especially for womenToys, anatomy, and the truth about what many women actually need to orgasmWhy tension, teasing, and anticipation matter more than rushing to the finish lineWhat straight culture teaches us about desire, pursuit, and gender rolesWhy queer communities often model deeper sexual self-awarenessThe myths people believe about performers and sex workersWhy men’s desire deserves a healthier conversation tooHow shame disconnects all of us from our bodies Favorite TakeawaysGreat sex starts in the nervous system, not just the g******s.Wanting something you don’t have is often the essence of turn-on.Porn doesn’t have to be empty, degrading, or addictive. It can be art.Better sex requires curiosity, self-awareness, and honesty. About the HostsLilly Sparks is the founder of afterglow, an ethical porn platform for women and couples who want better sex. Tolly Moseley is a sexual wellness writer, former Editorial Director of Sex with Emily and Author of Submit Here on Substack. Sponsored by afterglowEthical porn that turns you on — and teaches you how to have better sex.

  6. Feb 17

    Heated Rivalry & Why Safe Sex Can Still Be Filthy (Plus: Acting Divorced as Foreplay)

    Come & Glow (Ep 1): Heated Rivalry + Why Safe Sex Can Still Be FilthyWelcome to the very first episode of Come & Glow — where we talk about pop culture and sex the way we actually experience it. Messy? Tender? Funny? Yup: us too. In this episode, Lilly Sparks (founder of afterglow) and Tolly Moseley (former Editorial Director of Sex with Emily) dive into the cultural obsession that can't stop/won't stop, Heated Rivalry. Yes, the Canadian hockey romance still has all of us losing our godd*mn minds. We talk about what makes this show so addictive: the emotional safety, the slow burn, the female gaze, and the rare on-screen combo of explicit sex + genuine tenderness. More pls. In this episode, we get into:Why Heated Rivalry feels like a cultural moment (dare we say, a healing moment)Ilya' “safe dom” energy (and why attention is the real kink)The false binary many of us grew up with: hot sex = dangerous and safe love = boringHow the show nails the female gaze (it’s not about bodies — it’s about faces)Queer joy in hyper-masculine spacesThe edits + cinematography details that make this show feel smarter than it needs to beThe relationship dynamic shift from intimidation-f*****g to “are you okay?”A PSA for the people: lube. Where is the lube?The real reason fantasies can feel threatening in monogamy (and how to talk about them without detonating your relationship)The “unconscious coddling” dynamic many couples fall intoA spicy closing takeaway: maybe your relationship would improve if you acted a little more divorced Listener question we want your take on:Do you think safety is more of a turn-on… or is danger more of a turn-on? Also: help us name this podcastWe’re choosing between: Come & GlowThe Afters (a podcast about what lingers after sex: feelings, questions, laughter, and the quiet truths we don’t always say out loud) Drop your vote + your pun suggestions. About the hostsLilly Sparks is the founder of afterglow, an ethical porn platform for women and couples who want to have better sex. Tolly Mosley is the former Editorial Director of Sex with Emily, and authors the popular Substack Submit Here, exploring human connection. Sponsored by afterglowEthical porn that turns you on — and teaches you how to have better sex.

  • 6 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Come & Glow is a podcast about sex, intimacy, and the question we keep coming back to: How do you build a sex life that feels like you? Not like a performance. Not like p*rn you don’t even like. Not like what you think you should want. Like you—your body, your nervous system, your relationships, your fantasies, your boundaries, your sense of humor, your needs, your real life. Hosted by Lilly Sparks, founder of afterglow (the ethical adult film site for women and couples), and Tolly Moseley, author of Submit Here (the Substack for human connection), Come & Glow is where emotionally intelligent sex talk meets pop culture obsession. We’re here for deep intimacy, hot takes, and the messy truth about what turns people on. Each week, we have honest conversations about desire, connection, communication, and the everyday hurdles that make sex complicated like mismatched libidos, stress, shame, resentment, body stuff, awkwardness, boredom, and the pressure to “get it right.” We talk about how to build emotional safety without losing the tension, how to stay curious, and how to make sex feel easier - not because it’s simple, but because you deserve more ease. And because so many of us learned what sex is “supposed” to look like from TV, movies, romance, and adult films, Come & Glow also dives into sex in pop culture—breaking down the steamiest scenes, the tropes we can’t stop thinking about, and the stories we’re collectively obsessed with. We ask what they reveal about us, what they get right, what they get wrong, and what they awaken in us. This show is for you if you want sex to feel: - more connected and less performative - more playful and less pressured - more emotionally safe (without becoming boring) - more honest, even when it’s messy - more like you Come for the hot takes. Stay for the glow.

Information

  • Creator
    Lilly Sparks & Tolly Moseley
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    6
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Lilly Sparks & Tolly Moseley
  • Show Website
    Come & Glow

You Might Also Like